1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
I started featuring as a comedian, performed comedy in front of my mother, and she actually laughed and didn’t disown me. I explored an abandoned amusement park and risked arrest. I became a Google Glass explorer. I gave an hour presentation at a conference.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I resolved to be more shameless than ever. I think I succeeded.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
OH MY GOD SO MANY BABIES THIS YEAR. Makes me want one even more.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
I lost a few people who touched my heart.
5. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in the US this year. I did visit New Orleans for the first time, and that’s pretty much its own separate country.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
Some fucking stability. Financial, emotional, romantic, personal, transactional, legal – any or all would be welcome.
7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don’t have any particular date that stands out from this year, which sped by in such a blur that I can hardly believe it’s 2014.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Featuring at the Orlando Improv. Sure, it was on a Wednesday night, but it was still performing thirty minutes of comedy in front of a crowd of over 250 people and getting paid for it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
My entire year has been replete with failure, and any failure is the biggest, in my opinion.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I think I had a cold once. And I tore my bicep tendon.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
What am I, the behavior police?
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I had a few friends who really let me down, and watching the news is just constantly depressing. Why can’t everyone just be honest and trustworthy, care for others, and stop being so fucking terrible to each other?
14. Where did most of your money go?
Money? What’s that?
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My trip to New Orleans for Christmas.
16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
More stressed, more overwhelmed, closer to a major crossroads in my life, ready to move to Los Angeles and leave everything behind.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Written. I need to write more.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Put myself in the constant line of fire.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Exploring an abandoned Six Flags in New Orleans (full post to come in a day or two).
21. Did you fall in love in 2013?
Constantly. It’s what I do.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t hate people. Well, not many people. There are some people who have behavior so reprehensible that they deserve to die alone, but I still don’t hate them. I just hate their actions and how what they do affects those around them.
24. What was the best book you read?
I read so many books, but none stood out as being the best. They all entertained me, drew me into their worlds, and let me escape. I found some cool new authors, like Craig Johnson and CJ Box.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Childish Gambino. He’s been around for a while, but I didn’t really start listening to him until this year.
26. What did you want and get?
27. What did you want and not get?
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn’t see nearly as many movies as I wanted, and I missed all of the ones that just came out, but a few favorites were Man of Steel, Iron Man 3, Prisoners, Gravity, This Is The End, and The End of the World.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 36 on January 26, 2013, and I don’t remember what I did, but probably nothing. This year I think I’m going to actually celebrate. Maybe I’ll go back to Chuck E. Cheese.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Three clones of myself to help with everything I want to do. And one extra clone to have sex with.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
32. What kept you sane?
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Anthony Jeselnik, if we’re talking in a non-sexual way. His show was so dark but so damn funny, and his specials are some of my favorites. Hell, even if we’re talking in a sexual way.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
People who think that the current healthcare system is better than the Affordable Care Act. Yes, there are flaws, but it’s a step in the right direction.
35. Who did you miss?
Past loves and unresolved ended friendships.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I met so many amazing people this year, and I know I’m going to miss some, but off the top of my head, Bobcat, Jessilyn, Cassandra, Kim, Amber, Chana, Danielle, Rebekah, Richie, Bess, Jason, Carolyn, Jen, Josh, Jared, Niennah, Paige, Jackie, Tom, and Shelby.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
There’s always tomorrow.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“Only got twenty dollars in my pocket.”
(Thanks to Maria for the inspiration.)