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Why didn’t anyone tell me I was gay?

I was cleaning my office and found this picture from first grade. That was in 1982, and I was 5 years old. And apparently I was quite gay.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m the fey kid in the pink shirt that’s the third one in from the left. Click the picture for a much larger version.

It also makes me realize how bad my memory is. I only remember the last names of most of these people. Here’s the breakdown, for those one or two people who care and actually know some of these people (from left to right):

  • Dr. Judy Mudrey
  • Courtney (can’t remember her last name)
  • I have no fucking clue who this person is. At all.
  • Me
  • Julie Wallace (now Harris) – married doctor with two kids
  • Angela
  • Cara Ratliff – lost track of her after high school. Heard some not-so-nice rumors about her.
  • Amanda Mudrey (now Bartell) – still a good friend, married doctor now.
  • Cathy?
  • Vincent somethingorother
  • Eric Haroldson – one of my best friends up until high school. We occasionally touch base, but he kinda dropped off the face of the earth a while back.

Let’s get back to me. Why would my parents let me wear a pink shirt, striped shirts pulled up way too far, and socks pulled up to my knees? Didn’t anyone teach me to stand straight? I look like a poorly dressed hooker in Key West soliciting people who like young boys!

Boy, memory lane sucks.

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11 Replies to “Why didn’t anyone tell me I was gay?”

  1. Dave2

    All you need to do is add a few words like “HOT YOUNG BOYS” and “SEXY PRE-TEEN BOYS” to the page, and you’ll be getting Google hits like crazy!

    Never underestimate the power of the pedophile demographic to drive up your Google rank! 😛

  2. Kal

    dave2: and if you ever, ever make a joke about making the word “dork” plural by putting an “i” at the end of it, you’ll get about a bazillion hits from eastern european perverts. Apparently it’s some sort of code word for pedophiles over there.

    Try it, fun times. I finally had to take down the post with the word in it, I felt so dirty having those guys read my blog…

    And A: Vincent looks just a little too smug, for a guy with a bowl cut…

  3. Avitable

    Jordie: The eighties got better. And Eric looks geekier than I do, but nobody looks nearly as gay.

    Kal: That’s weird – I’d never heard of that before. And Vince does seem really proud of his bowl cut.

  4. jhaggard76

    Adam, that is an awesome pic. I recongnized Cara and Amanda. Boy, you all looked like geeks, but you definitely take the cake. Look at those shorts!! But again, no worries, we all looked like dorki’s back in the day

  5. The Stiltwalker

    ha ha! you’re cute though! I think the shorts are actually worse than the shirt. I’m betting you had severe wedgie syndrome. And why did all the chicks from your class marry doctors? hell I shoulda went to elementary with you.

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