Head over to IT2M (http://www.italk2much.com), the best blog reviewing site on the web. And by "reviewing" I mean "tearing you a new asshole and making you cry and shut down your blog if it sucks". Read my guest post, where I got to review three blogs. I even have a nifty new avatar, too.

Make sure to post a comment telling me how shitty or awesome I am, too!

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A cool little movie trivia game.

Click on the items and type what movie they represent. Here are a couple of hints to get you started:

1. The M&Ms are just marketing.
2. The M&M juggling coins is "The Sixth Sense" (he's got six cents).
3. The mountain in the background is "Twin Peaks".
4. They're all dark dramas or horror movies.

That should be enough to get you going. I did it in 20 minutes. How fast can you get all 50?

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One of the best shows on television is Veronica Mars.

One of the best episodes was "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner" from the second season.

The song that plays during the end of that episode is "Run", by Air. I can't stop listening to it.

Give it a listen and see what you think.

Run - Air

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This particular post pertains to a place where I perpetually participate with people of all persuasions providing provoking personal posts about pursuits pointful to each person's private personage, profession, parentage, or pastimes.

Provincial or pandering, pompous or polite, peers of a potpourri of politics, principles, policies, pasts, and plentitudes pile up to postulate and palaver about points and problems pertinent to personal preferences.

Poised on the precipice of perennial participation by a puny pack of privileged plebeians, a piece was promulgated to promote, promote, promote.

Perhaps you have the prominence, power, poise, and promiscuity that is prerequisite for proper performance and participation?

Proceed.

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Currently, I'm addicted to interesting covers of '80s and '90s songs. One of my favorite bands that does this is Novaspace.

Their covers of "Time After Time" and "Wicked Game" are great.

And then there's The Dan Band (thanks to bobgirrl) and their hilarious cover of "Total Eclipse of the Heart".

And of course, the profane lounge covers by Richard Cheese are always a favorite.

So now I crave more.

Anyone have any other bands or songs that I should check out?

The best one gets an honest-to-goodness prize!

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I'm the only large, hairy, gorilla-like, cro-magnon man I know who has 5 separate images of himself on the top page of his blog.

It's not that I'm narcissistic or think I'm attractive. Actually, I think I'm funny looking, and I just like to share that little joke with the world. You can look at these pictures and just think, "Well, at least I don't look like that."

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Now, you may disagree with some of these, and some of these might apply to you, too, but collectively, this is my list of 10 reasons that I'm better than you:

1. I'm listed on the IMDB.

2. I can roll out of bed to my computer and I'm at work. And I'm my own boss.

3. If there was a global famine, I could hibernate and live off the 6,000 pounds of body fat I have. As long as I had a rag on a stick to use to wash myself, I'd be set.

4. I'm a lawyer. Lawyers are the cockroaches of the human population. We'll live forever and are a higher evolved species.

5. I know all of the lyrics to every Weird Al song ever made.

6. I know the difference between "you're" and "your", and "they're", "their" and "there".

7. I am familiar with the methods necessary to survive a zombie outbreak.

8. The New York Times quoted me as an expert for attorneys looking for jobs. And they were right.

9. I am a consummate salesman. I can sell ice cubes to Eskimos.

10. I get my brand new TV today - a 55" Sony Grand WEGA LCD HDTV!!!! And now I can finally be a complete slave to television!

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And now, another inspiring round of "How people found Avitable":

1. Lindsay Lohan - this is obvious, what with all the crotch shots of Lindsay Lohan's bare beaver I've been posting.

2. Lohan - ditto

3. Jaimee Foxworth Pictures - one post made a long time ago about Jaimee Foxworth from Family Matters doing porn, and as a result this one consistently shows up in my keywords.

4. Miniature Stallion Bestiality - don't know where this one is coming from, but I'm okay with it.

5. Lindsey Lohan - if you're going to look for the naked vagina of your favorite redhead, learn how to spell her name right, numbnuts.

6. Lahan - ditto

7. Jaimee Foxworth - Here she is again.

8. Cosby Bebop Google - you know, retard, you don't have to type in the search engine you're using as a keyword if you're looking for Cosby Bebop.

9. "Jaimee Foxworth" - Sigh. This is boring.

10. "Christa Miller" - From my last blog post about TV, apparently.

11. Jaimee Foxworth movie - ENOUGH YOU CRAZY SICK FUCKERS. WE GET IT. YOU WANT TO WATCH JUDY FROM FAMILY MATTERS TAKE IT IN THE ASS. JESUS!

12. Live Search - I don't even understand this one.

13. Girls that grab cock - This would make more sense, given my usual subject matter, if it didn't refer to a post I made about two girls in an accident who were confused for each other.

14. Jaimee Foxworthy photos - Wow. Just wow. I give up.

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M over at redrighthand.net had this meme which actually takes more effort than a contemplative navel-gazing blog post, so I decided to use it, too. It was started by James Gunn (married to the lovely Jenna Fischer (Pam on The Office) and writer/director of the awesome Slither, and then continued by Joss Whedon.

25 Favorite Television Characters

The rules:
* Does not have to be a show currently airing
* No puppets or cartoons
* No reality show people
* All characters must be regulars on the show
* No mini-series

And my choices, in no particular order, but just numbered so I can easily see how many I came up with:

1. Jack McCoy - Law and Order: A perennial favorite of mine. Sam Watterston just kicks ass as this hard-as-nails District Attorney. The day he leaves the show is the day I stop watching.
2. Xander Harris - Buffy the Vampire Slayer: What can I say? I relate to him. He saved the world in season six with a story about a yellow crayon.
3. Pam Beesly - The Office: I love Jenna Fischer. She is just perfect in this role.
4. Wash Washburne - Firefly: The smartass pilot of Serenity can't help but be a great character even if he doesn't get as much screen time as some of them.
5. Mal Reynolds - Firefly: Han Solo for a new generation. If only the idiots with Nielsen boxes had better taste.
6. Joy (Hickey?) - My Name is Earl: She is just perfect - you love her and hate her.
7. Charlie Kelly - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Hard to explain this one - he is just a crazy motherfuckin' drunk.
8. Veronica Mars - Veronica Mars: She's tough, vulnerable, smart, savvy, and still growing up all at once.
9. Keith Mars - Veronica Mars: Best dad ever.
10. Eliot Reid - Scrubs: She calls her vagina a "bajinko". What's better than that?
11. Perry Cox - Scrubs: While his shtick has gotten a bit old recently, he has begrudgingly grown as a person since the show started and you just love his reactions to everything.
12. Michael Bluth - Arrested Development: His humility is paired very well with his arrogance, which always bites him in the ass.
13. Lindsay Bluth - Arrested Development: She's just a perfect spoiled rotten foil to Michael's sacrifice.
14. Sydney Bristow - Alias: She can kick your ass without even trying, and you fucking believe every minute of it!
15. Remington Steele - Remington Steele: If Bond ran a detective agency poorly.
16. Lorelai Gilmore - Gilmore Girls: The sharpest tongue and best ass on television.
17. Frasier Crane - Frasier: His pomposity has always made me laugh.
18. Denny Crane - Boston Legal: Just a great character that is fun to watch every time he's on screen.
19. Natalie Teeger - Monk: Traylor Howard is cute and spunky and is a good partner with Adrian Monk. Did you know that she's 40?
20. Krista Starr - Blade the Series: More of a cheesecake favorite, but I love watching her as a vampire.
21. Lewis Kiniski - The Drew Carey Show: Ryan Stiles owns this role. I think he should be a movie star.
22. Kate O'Brien - The Drew Carey Show: If you didn't watch Christa Miller on this show and laugh, you are dead inside. She was perfect!
23. Doug Ross - ER: Dr. Ross was the best thing about ER in the early years, and sometimes I'm sad that George Clooney left.
24. Cosmo Kramer - Seinfeld: Michael Richards made the role his own and we were entertained for many years as a result. Nobody will ever reach his heights again.
25. Larry David - Curb Your Enthusiasm: Snarky, angry, hateful, selfish, rude, but he manages to be married to a beautiful wife. Sometimes I think I'm looking in a mirror.

And there they are. Anyone who wants the challenge might find it to be a little more difficult than they thought. If you're going to do it, leave me a comment and let me know so I can come mock you for your choices.

And if anyone's going to take up six slots with Chandler, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Ross, and Phoebe, don't tell me. I'll just hate you forever.

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Whenever I don't have anything interesting, funny, or controversial to say (90% of the time), I rely on posting humorous links, videos and other weird shit that you may not have seen before. So here goes, and enjoy your weekend!

1. Have you ever wanted to watch a video with a vagina being laced like a football or sneaker? Then you're in luck.

2. Here's a great police report about a guy who got caught having sex with sheep, in California! Read the whole report for the officer's dry recital of the events, including the fact that the "ewe's anal area was shiny as if lubrication had been applied".

3. A guy named Jason used Craigslist to post a sexually provocative ad as a woman seeking men, and then posted all the personal information and frightening naked photos that men sent him. Is it illegal? I think so. Amusing? Definitely. Thanks to Rik for the link. (Here's another version of it that will take a while to load but is much easier to read and follow.)

4. And finally, here's a wonderful classic video of someone having the world's most disgusting pimple popped and removed from his ass.

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