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I’m such a hypocrite

Okay, this might seem hypocritical, but I’ve started going through my bloglines feeds and realizing how many people posted that meme I posted yesterday (before and after I posted it). Coming up with answers for all of you is impossible, so I’ve decided that, rather than go to each of your blogs and answer each question one at a time, I’ll answer them all simultaneously from here:

Your nickname is Bitchy McCuntface III.

You are very loveable. In fact, I have an erection just thinking about you.

I have known you since the day that we met, online or in person.

I found your blog that time that my browser went to the URI that is redirected by the DNS server to your IP address. Oh, what a day that was.

My first impression was that I had found a blog!

Yes, I still think it’s a blog.

You would be chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Because that’s my favorite ice cream flavor.

What makes you happy? Your significant other. Memories of good times. A good meal. And me dancing.

What makes you sad? Deaths in the family. A heartwrenching news story. Britney and K-Fed’s breakup.

Every time I hear “Cop Killer”, by Ice T, I think of you.

If I could give you anything, I’d give you a rainbow. In a box. Chained so it can’t get away. And beaten into bloody submission.

I consider you a friend. With benefits. Now send me a naked photo of yourself.

I visit your blog every time Bloglines tells me you posted something new. If you don’t have comment notifications, I will check your blog constantly to see if you replied to my witty, kick-ass comment, unless I don’t really care that much, at which point I will not.

There’s nothing I couldn’t tell you. I make my entire life like an open book for any stranger to read. And you’re not a stranger – you’re a friend with benefits!

I reserve my move-making for very few people. Sorry, but we’ll just have to have a little mutual masturbation and call it even.

If I were to describe you in one word, I’d say: Human.

I feel like I could talk to you about anything. I’m bearing my soul right now, and you’re listening, right?

You cross my mind every time I think of you.

I like that you blog, and that it’s legible and I can read it. And that sometimes it makes me laugh and sometimes it makes me think.

I don’t like that sometimes it’s boring and sometimes it is just something I don’t care about. And it needs more nudity!

***********
All done. You’re all welcome.

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