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Reflecting on yesterday

So, yesterday being April Fool’s Day and a Sunday, I had ample time to plan several pranks, and I thought now would be a good time to examine their effectiveness.

Prank 1: Randomly calling people in the phone book and saying, in a somber tone, “Mr. LASTNAME, this is Dr. Pheelgud. I am very sorry to tell you this, but your father passed away this morning” is only effective if (a) they have a father who is alive, (b) he’s not sitting right there next to them, and (c) you remember to block your number so it doesn’t show up as “Avitable” on the Caller ID. When it does work, though, it’s hilarious!

Prank 2: Spending late Saturday night at Denny’s replacing every single sugar packet with ones that are actually filled with salt is worth the time and meticulous effort to watch 150 people simultaneously cough and choke when they take their first sip of their coffee (two creams, one sugar) on Sunday morning.

Prank 3: Disabling the brake lines of all 14 cars parked on the steepest hill in Orlando: not a good idea.

Prank 4: Rigging your car to look like a police car and dressing in a stripper’s policeman uniform works well to pull over random people and offer to let them go in return for oral sex. At least until the real cops show up and taser you in the testicles.

Prank 5: Writing a blog post as if it was written by the author, detailing the author’s sexual experience with a dog, is only funny if the author didn’t ACTUALLY have sex with said dog.

Prank 6: Under no circumstances should you ever again put poisonous snakes in the community pool, because bad, bad things will happen.

Prank 7: Pretending to jog with your balls hanging out of a hole in your jumpsuit can be quite hilarious until you jog by the local high school and get tasered in the scrot by a 16-year old girl.

Prank 8: When at the local 7-11, screaming at the top of the lungs, “I just won a MILLION DOLLARS!” while holding a fake lottery ticket in your hands in the air, jumping up and down excitedly will only be amusing if you don’t get mugged by four old ladies and yet again tasered in the balls.

Any of you pull any good pranks yesterday?

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50 Replies to “Reflecting on yesterday”

  1. Mistress Yoda

    I’m #1 :nana:

    See that prank only works if you DON’T like salt in your coffee…it’s pretty tasty actually :twitchy:

    The only prank I pulled was telling my man in horror that somehow $1000 was taken from our checking account. It was fun until he started convulsing on the floor.

  2. Crys!

    not really. just went into the bathroom while my kid was brushing her teeth and i shoved a bloody hand in front of her and screamed that my finger had been severed. she went sheet-white mainly because she doesn’t ever remember what April Fool’s day is, being too young and all. i thought she was going to barf. and then i went HAR HAR HAR, APRIL FOOL’S! fun thing about kids is that then they try to get you back all day but HI, I ALREADY TRICKED YOU AND GUESS WHAT, I ALREADY KNOW IT’S APRIL FOOL’S.

    i’m a great mom, clearly

    :angel:

  3. Avitable

    Mistress Yoda, you gave your boy convulsions? Nicely done.

    Joefish, don’t let her deny it! I read her diary.

    BPR, are you volunteering?

    CP, no you didn’t. You didn’t even comment!

    Crystal, very nice. Is that going to be a future video, because I think it should be.

  4. Geeky Tai-Tai

    It was our 29th anniversary — no joke! And it was a good one too — no joke. Some might think I’m a boring old bitch, but I still have a few tricks up my…HEY where’s the nasty-ass icon I’m looking for???

  5. NYC Watchdog

    There seems to be an awful lot of tasering going on down in Florida.

    The good new is though… that next year around this time… Wrestlemania 24 is coming to Orlando. So there will be plenty of screaming idiots for target practice.

  6. Avitable

    Steph, you’re not old, you’re just experienced. :heartbeat:

    Crystal, no, your daughter freaking out and you laughing hysterically. The finger part is passe. :violent006:

    Dragon, that’s what my wife said!

    Dawn, yeah I did. It was pretty funny.

    Geeky, you got married on April Fool’s?

    Mistress Yoda, good point.

    NYCWD, well, we have Nascar here, so there’s plenty of screaming idiots.

    Britt, I’ll call your bluff. I had sex with her dog, too!

    Poppy, I’ll be there with my facepaint.

    Mist 1, you didn’t call up anybody and pretend to be pregnant?

    Hilly, there was very little jogging post-taser.

  7. Clown

    During dinner I tricked the person sitting directly to my right into dipping his filet mignon into my spicy man mayonnaise.

    I hope he doesn’t get pregnant because then that would make me the fool.

  8. Amy

    Britt Mah Bitch! Mah Ho!!! Where’s the :heartbeat: ???? I redid your MySpace and it looks SO freaking cool We should be EVEN now! :surrender: Besides, I think I made a pretty good case for myself already. :whistle:

  9. Avitable

    Clown, If I do, you’re paying for the “procedure”.

    Poppy, it’s not funny. It could be serious!

    Liquid, random stab you!

    Stephanie, I know. I’m wonderful.

    Crystal, I read your diary. I know about the dirty things you’ve done.

    WeaponM, not if the prank involved you losing your arms!

    Britt, where is your fucking gravatar?

    Amy, nice try. That Myspace pimping doesn’t mean shit!

  10. Avitable

    Poppy and Weapon M, no more babies. It’s all taken care of.

    Amy, you’re funny, little miss Wonder Whore!

    TMP, yup. Did you see Britt’s post from yesterday? She admitted some serious things.

  11. Heather

    My son has his very first girlfriend. I thought about telling him that there was a message on our voice mail from some girl saying “Quit texting me and I want to break up.” That would have been soooo funny. But I chickened out.

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