I rarely post about my wife because I'm egotistical and this blog is about me, dammit! However, today, after she brought me home an Easter basket filled with Cadbury Creme Eggs, Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, and more, I had to sing her praises. And, now, here is a list of the top ten reasons my wife is awesome:
10. She doesn't mind that I own 7 black shirts, 2 pairs of shorts, and 1 pair of black sneakers with red shoelaces, and that is all I wear when I'm not skipping around naked.
9. Even though my snoring can wake (and has woken) the dead, she doesn't smother me in my sleep.
8. The fact that I believe in the magical soap fairy, toilet paper fairy, laundry fairy, and dishwasher fairy doesn't bother her at all.
7. She has no problem with me parking in handicapped spots and then pretending to be retarded as I walk on the sidewalk.
6. She's very adept at washing me for my weekly bath with a rag on a stick.
5. Boobs.
4. As a vegetarian, she managed to survive even with my household vegetable ban. And she makes me steak.
3. She doesn't mind when I stretch out her panties when I wear them around the house.
2. She helps me clean up the dead hookers and bury them in her garden.
1. She married me!
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Why you lucky...
Comments by Geeky Tai-Tai
Whaaaatttt!!! You don't wear thongs?
Comments by DutchBitch
She's a saint to put up with all of that. Buy her something nice.
Comments by DeniseTN
If you love her so much, why don't you marry her!??
Comments by Clown
#7 made me wake up my husband with the hars
he's not happy about it either
Comments by Crys!
You are one lucky guy. Mr. Yoda is also a vegetarian and cooks me meat...he also slaughters them for me too :love:
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Yes your wife is awesome! My husband gets kicked or punched if he snores in the middle of the night!
Comments by Jen
heh. you said boobs
Comments by bluepaintred
The woman is obviously a saint :wink:
Comments by J.
Geeky, don't I know it!
DutchBitch, only on Thursdays.
Denise, I do. All the time!
Clown, why don't you?
Crystal, clearly you are not a good wife if you are waking him up!
Mistress Yoda, so you eat a lot of squirrel and bluejay?
Jen, I wouldn't even feel a thing if she did that.
BPR, boobs are cool.
J, yes she is. And a princess!
Comments by Avitable
well you already knew I think Amy's awesome
...she sat and waited with me, arms full of my BROTHER's bags, watching him shop on Rodeo Drive. But I never knew she was a vegetarian...
Comments by Julianne
She sounds awesome. Are you sure she isn't a robot?
Comments by Tracy Lynn
She sounds like a keeper. But Dude, seriously, get your own panties. :wink:
Comments by Dragon
Oh yes, they are great with a lemon butter.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Are they pink panties to match the dress? You know you should match those things!!
Comments by stephanie
Julianne, I know! Who ever knew your brother was such a little metrosexual? Amy became a vegetarian about three years ago.
Tracy, that would explain the clanking.
Dragon, but she has better fashion sense!
Mistress Yoda, also, Cajun style is good.
Steph, if I'm wearing them, there's no dress. Just me and panties.
Comments by Avitable
Boobs. :)
Comments by Poppy
Well, that's a visual that's just gonna stay with ya all day long, isn't it! :what:
Comments by stephanie
Poppy, no comment.
Steph, I can send photos if you need them.
Comments by Avitable
But then, won't you have to shoot me or something?
Comments by stephanie
Well, if the subscribers at http://www.avitablepanty.com can see them, I don't know why you couldn't!
Comments by Avitable
Well Pilot is always killing rodents for us...I'll have to look up vole recipes.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Our server blocked that link - I'll have to try it later... though, somehow, i think i should be happy it did, huh? :D
Comments by stephanie
Mistress Yoda, grilled with mesquite sauce is good for a vole.
Steph, I don't think it's a real site. You realize that I just made it up, right?
Comments by Avitable
Dur! I think I need to get another cup of coffee!!!! :doh:
Comments by stephanie
you're so cute when you get all lovey dovey hero worshipy about your amy
Comments by Miss Britt
No comment in return, Sir. (Damn, where's the boobs emoticon?!)
Comments by Poppy
Any woman willing to help bury the hookers that die is a fine woman by me! You are a lucky bastard!
Comments by themuttprincess
Steph, yeah, I think you do. Oy!
Britt, she's the only one I know who would put up with all of that!
Poppy, I'm working on a boobs smiley.
TMP, I know. She holds the flashlight while I dig.
Comments by Avitable
Yeah I do! Meanwhile, I think Miss A has a boobs smiley - you should ask her for it - or just go steal it from her site :D
Comments by stephanie
You had me at "Cadbury"...
Comments by NYC Watchdog
:what: you wife sounds like a saint. she deserves a medal!!
Comments by Webmiztris
She's still one of the coolest ladies I've ever met.
Especially since she gave you the idea for your irwin outfit for Halloween.
Comments by Jordie
What the hell is in the middle of Cadbury Eggs?
Comments by Mist 1
Ah I forgot all about that rag on a stick technique. That poor, poor woman.
Comments by WeaponM
Does she read your blog? And, if so, what did you do wrong now? Man up and apologize!!! Sheesh. :rolleyes:
And, if not, then the woman is truly a saint. Or is paying back some god-awful doings from a past life.
Comments by Amy
#10 and #3 contradict each other.
My husband has a closet full of the same black shirt. More than seven, but it is the only style and color he will wear. Now he does occasionally wear a dark purple and blue shirt I snuck into his wardrobe, but mostly those black shirts.
What is it with you guys? :whistle:
Comments by Lynda
Steph, good thinking. She used to read my blog and occasionally comment, but I don't think she loves me anymore. :sad:
NYCWD, finally! So many people don't like them, which makes no sense.
Dawn, I agree.
Jordie, yes she did. It was all her idea.
Mist, my special sauce.
WeaponM, I think it's a privilege that she gets to do that.
Amy, no she doesn't. And she'd have to be a saint to deal with me.
Lynda, I wasn't talking about underwear, so they're still in line with each other. And it's just easier than trying to coordinate!
Comments by Avitable
I can only eat about half of a Cadbury egg, then I feel the need to puke....but I LOVE them!
Comments by DeniseTN
OMG Denise! What the HELL is wrong with you? They make you puke? Is it the white gooey stuff? Is it?
:doh: Your a spitter aren't you?
Comments by NYC Watchdog
Oh, well, my husband even wears black underwear. LOL. Thanks for clearing that up.
:D
Comments by Lynda
How long is the stick?
Comments by Tug
Hell NO! I'm no spitter! I swallow every time!
I said they made me want to puke...I don't actually puke. I usually end up eating more after the pukiness passes. The white stuff is the best part!
Comments by DeniseTN
Phew. That's good to know. :sex001:
I still can't figure out why you get all pukey though. Cadbury Eggs are the greatest thing about Easter... and it SUCKS you can't get them at any other time.
Comments by NYC Watchdog
I probably get all pukey because I have stopped consuming so much sugar over the past few years and those things are pure sugar. I guess.
Avi - You need to DEMAND that all commenters get a damn gravatar because I'm starting to get confused about who is saying what when I see that drawing of you.
Comments by DeniseTN
Denise, at least you like them, even if they make you pukey. I just eat them in one bite. And most of the regulars have gravatars now, except for Miss Brittard.
NYCWD, we should buy them and horde them.
Lynda, I have black underwear, too. And pink panties.
Tug, about < --------------------------------> long.
Comments by Avitable
Well it's a good thing I don't get pukey over sweet things... otherwise I'd be puking all over you...
Comments by NYC Watchdog
You really know how to make a gal feel special, Dawg.
Comments by DeniseTN
Do you rent out your wife? Because the only thing in that list that scares me is that she married you... other than that, she seems just about perfect.
Comments by Dave2
Having met the charming Mrs. Avitable, I can attest that she is all that and a bag of chips.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Lays?
And Avi -
heh.
Comments by Tug
Amy's awesome! But I already knew that before I read your blog... besides, any vegetarian who cooks steaks for her husband is pretty cool!
Comments by cat
Gawd, I need somebody like that in my life...
LOL
She sounds like a saint - you're a lucky dude!
Comments by Marti
Avi, you are getting such big brownie points for this post.
WHERE THE HELL IS THE REGULAR SMILEY FACE?!?!?
EFFING A.
AND, WHAT IS THIS ONE DOING? IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?! :drool: Oh, it's drool. Hehehe.
Comments by Poppy
We might have been separated at birth.
:D
Comments by Mike
Nothing like a guy in pink panties.
Comments by Lynda
The fact that you believe in so many fairies kinda makes me question your sexuality.
(I just wanted to use that smiley)
Comments by Sheila
NYCWD and Denise, unless there's going to be nudity, get a room!
Dave, I asked her. She said no.
Mr. Fabulous, you tried to eat her like she was a bag of chips!
Tug, Pringles. I can never have just one.
Cat, yup. You are special because you know me in real life! :D
Marti, I make virgin sacrifices to the gods every day.
Poppy, and my wife doesn't even know it's up. And who needs a plain ol' smiley?
Mike, my mother always talked about my dead siamese twin.
Lynda, that's what I thought!
Sheila, these are the fairies that magically do the things around the house that need to be done. And every time I find myself mid-coitus with a cow while fondling a hermaphrodite, I question my sexuality, too.
Comments by Avitable
What amused me as much as his metro-shopping habits was the fact that both Amy and I were the exact opposite. I spent $15 total on Rodeo Drive, LA. I didn't think that was possible
Oh and she gets bonus points via her mother for making me eat alligator :surrender:
edit: i half made this comment to see if my gravatar is working and it isn't,
Comments by Julianne
Yeah, my gravatar still isn't working either. What the fuck??
FIX ME BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments by Miss Britt
Hahaha. Boobs. It should say "She has boobs and she married me"
Comments by heather
She's your Jane Goodall...
Comments by Kal Jones
aww this was one of the sweetest posts ever
And- It's time yet again for the stupidest of blog awards.... Go nominate
Comments by Christie
I was going to say something clever but I've instead decided that I'll go to bed wishing my wife buried my dead hookers. And that I had a wife. Tug?
Comments by Poppy
Oh SURE...now you want me Poppy. Story of my life.
I was going to say I wanted a wife after this post, but after my first turn-down, I chose to hide in a corner & cry instead.
:lmfao:
Comments by Tug
But I would probably help bury dead hookers.
Probably.
No one knows for sure.
Or could prove it.
Comments by Tug
What's a hooker? :twitchy: :dunno:
Comments by Tug
A hooker is what they pull out of fish. :D
And let's just say I've had second thoughts.
Especially now that you said you'd help with the hookers.
Comments by Poppy
I just posted about fish jizz - my son-in-law told me all about it! :cheesy:
Only BAD hookers. Already dead. geez.
Comments by Tug
Julianne, yeah, you must have bought a soda for that little money.
Britt, it's your fault. You fix it!
Heather, did you see #1? It's the most important reason!
Kal, exactly!
Christie, already? I thought we just did those.
Poppy and Tug, get a room, record it, and send it to me, okay?
Comments by Avitable
she makes fuck loads of corn cake
and doesn't mind joining
you for movie dates with 16 year olds
you met online.
how much better could she be?
Comments by liquid
:evil: hee hee hee... is there NOT a halo smilie? I need a HALO!!! :doh:
Comments by Tug
Damn, I want some corn cake!
Comments by WeaponM
Liquid, maybe if there were three of her?
Tug, halos have no place here.
WeaponM, you'll have to come to our Cinco de Mayo party his year.
Comments by Avitable
Cinco de Mayo?
Is that in August?
Comments by WeaponM
How is that vegetable ban working? I'd like to ban the gross ones but I can't find a way. Doug keeps bringing them in. Yucky stuff like brussel sprouts and cauliflower and broccoli. GAG. Why can't vegetables just consist of green beans and spinach? Hmm? Evil vegetables.
PS–these smilies annoy me. Kthxbai. :nana:
Comments by Kentucky Girl
Avi, okay! But only if I get to be on top.
Tug, here it is.
Comments by Poppy
Top, bottom, it's all good.
Comments by Tug
was that angel always there? holyHELL I need a vacation. :confused:
Comments by Tug
Yes, Tug. But, since Avi didn't even notice it was there I recommend you not beat yourself up about it.
Comments by Poppy
:secret:and if we don't tell him, he'll never know. :secret:
Comments by Tug
I won't tell if you don't. I'm very good with secrets.
Ahh, and I see we now have bouncy girls! Who knew it was possible to make a comment section so "obscene"?
Comments by Poppy
Saw obscene & had to head over...check out the boobs
& threesome 
HAHAHAHA. And a jerkoff for us ladies...
Comments by Tug
this looks like it hurts
Comments by Tug
It hurts just looking at it... I'd rather have this:
Comments by Poppy
Changing the smilies is messing with them ALL.
Comments by Tug
Yummy.
Comments by Poppy
Well, I guess I better not comment at work anymore....
Comments by Lynda
dessert
Comments by Tug
Breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, beverages — it's all good!
Comments by Poppy