If you were awesome enough to vote for me in the Blogger’s Choice Awards, you may continue reading this post. If you didn’t vote for me, abstained from voting altogether, or are looking for posts about fisting your wife, fuck off. The rest of you can continue to the full post . . .
Now, many, many people totally kicked ass by voting for me, and I did well. And for a while, I was even winning. But Mr. Fabulous has taken the lead by a hefty margin. It’s okay – he’s been around longer and his readership and traffic is significant, so I’m just happy I was able to be a contender for this long.
Currently, though, the new contender for 1st place is a fucking whorebag of a blogger named Dooce. Any fucking cunt who won’t even put comments on her blog doesn’t deserve to be called a blogger, much less win for Best Humor Blog. She’s not funny. She’s no George Carlin or Bill Hicks or Chris Rock. She ranges from mildly amusing to painful, like Sinbad or Carrot Top. Her writing is amateurish and utter shit, and I can’t think of a single redeeming factor for her blog.
So I’ve decided to throw my support behind Fab. Even if you’ve voted for me and abstained from voting for him, go do so now. I know, I know. The Blogger’s Choice Awards are clearly a pathetic attempt on the part of PayPerPost to avoid going bankrupt. They’re trying to convince people to shell out fuckloads of money for PostieCon so that they can make it through the summer without crashing and burning. And if anyone thinks that we’ll still have PPP this time next year, I have some real estate to sell you.
But right now it’s the principle of the thing. Dooce cannot win.
And, as I said, as thanks for voting for me, here is an autographed picture just for you. Just print it out and frame it at your local frame store and you’ll have art that will only increase in value. This is an investment for your future.