So Britt and I had dinner with RW last night. If you don't read his blog, you should. He's one of the best kept secrets on the net.
Most people would go into a long, rambling discussion of dinner, and what everyone was like, what we talked about, what made me take my pants off at the table, why Britt was under the table for so long, how the conversation turned to a discussion of which animal was the worst to have sex with, and why RW's new nickname is The Swinger, but I'm not most people.
What I will talk about, however, is the fact that this morning, Britt and I both woke up naked in a bathtub filled with ice. Our sides ached, and there was a neatly written note stapled to my forehead. It read:
Dearest Sir Avitable and Madame Britt,
It was my pleasure to make your delightful acquaintance last night at dinner. I was pleasantly surprised to find that both of you were friendly, wonderful people. I must confess, however, that my tales of traveling nationwide selling pens on chains to banks was a situation in which I was not entirely forthright. I do, in fact, sell kidneys on the black market. For that reason, my dear companions, I create hundreds of blogs that I populate with witty insight and canny observations so that I can ensnare unsuspecting denizens of the blogosphere into meeting with me. And then after relieving them of one of these unnecessary organs, I disappear into the night, never to be seen again. And for that reason, my fellow online contributors, you should pick yourselves up and proceed posthaste to the nearest medical facility to ensure your continued long life and happiness.
Respectfully yours, RW
Oh, and he left us this picture:
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I hate when that happens, last time I woke up and I think a lobotomy was done on me.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
I only commented to see the dirty smileys...
Comments by Danalyn
i_wish_my_computer_worked_so_i_could_discuss
(&_how_is_that_for_use_of_resources_that_i_had_zero_cause_to_use_the_letters_that_are_missed!)
I_will_say:
RW_was_terrific!!!
Comments by Miss Britt
Hopefully there was enough boozin' it up so that that it wasn't painful.
Comments by themuttprincess
wow. hate when that happens!
Comments by Webmiztris
He took your kidneys? Both, or just one?
Note to self: I need to start reading RW. And I need to get to FL so I can have some Fleming's steak!!!!
Comments by Poppy
you are Such a butthead
but it does leave an awesome scar!
Comments by bluepaintred
you've been nominated for a (few) RFS Blog Award(s)
Comments by Christie
Mistress Yoda, I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy than a bottle in front of me.
Danalyn, they are awesome, aren't they?
Britt, if you'd use that damn keyboard, it would be fine.
TMP, oh, there's no pain. Only regret.
Dawn, yeah, me too.
Poppy, just one. He's a gentleman.
Bluepaintred, did he meet RW too?
Christie, thanks.
Comments by Avitable
RW is quite the delightful and interesting dinner companion.
Unless you start talking nuclear fusion...
Comments by Dave2
Well is was nice of him to leave the note so you knew to see a doc instead of just thinking it was more wild sex...
Comments by Tug
Never trust the mild mannered looking boys with snazzy neckties and glasses. Be thankful he only took your kidney. On the plus side, at least you got to see Miss Brit naked.
Comments by Dragon
Dave, I remember reading that and laughing my ass off. I made sure that no nuclear fusion discussion occurred. We kept it to safe topics like politics and religion.
Tug, yeah, because, honestly, that's how we ended up the morning before, too, but for very different reasons.
Dragon, got to? I've been trying to get her to put her clothes on for days!
Comments by Avitable
I knew there was something off about that guy.
Comments by Joefish
Regret is overrated.
Comments by themuttprincess
What kind of bottle?
Comments by Mistress Yoda
You and Britt always end up in the most unusual places. At least you both woke up with someone or something you knew... this time anyway.
And, it occurs to me, you have this lovely new blog, the ability for private posts, and now I have to wonder, what in God's name would YOU need to make private? And, if you DID... I don't think any of us would have the balls to read or heaven forbid, watch the damn thing anyway.
Comments by Amy
My kidneys are entirely useless to anyone. My drinking is a strategy to make sure that I'm never robbed for my organs.
Comments by Mist 1
THANK YOU, muttprincess. I've been trying to spread this word on my own and no one (AVI) seems to be listening.
Comments by Poppy
Your artistic recall is second to none.
Or is that the new Avifoto digital camera you employed?
Comments by NYC Watchdog
Dammit, the order I placed was for a couple of spleens, that fucker.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Joefish, he's a shady bastard, but such a nice guy!
TMP, I regret nothing. Except losing my kidney.
Mistress Yoda, vodka?
Amy, I don't think I'd ever do a private post. Unless I had some deep dark secret that had been so burdensome that I just had to share.
Mist, I think that's wise.
Poppy, I only look towards the future!
NYCWD, it's my amazing recall.
Mr. Fabulous, hmm. I knew I felt like I was missing something else.
Comments by Avitable
Ah yes, vodka is dangerous. I cannot be held accountable for anything I do on vodka.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
I would miss mine. I can see your regret.
Comments by themuttprincess
If you are always looking toward the future you are missing the present.
Comments by Poppy
Be thankful it was only your liver. I had the same thing happen to me, except it was my virginity that was taken.
And it was a priest, not RW.
(no, no... that's wrong. I really shouldn't write that...)
Comments by Kal Jones
Why is Britt naked in that picture?
Comments by WeaponM
Mistress Yoda, me either. That's why I have 16 kids with different women.
TMP, I'll just steal someone else's.
Poppy, that's okay.
Kal, very nice. RW took my virginity, too, I think. My ass was sore. Unless Britt did . . .
WeaponM, she's a nudist.
Comments by Avitable
I love nudists!
Comments by WeaponM
I thought those little kids I saw with their hands down their pants looked a lot like you.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
WeaponM, who doesn't?
Mistress Yoda, probably, but only if they were simultaneously masturbating and doing Calculus.
Comments by Avitable