Back in March, I did a series of illustrations for Poppy to do her 50 Things video inspired by Paperlilies. I was inspired to do my own, and I know all of you were holding your breath waiting for it. Well, now your wait is over. With Miss Britt at my side (and check out her blog for her 50 Things video, as well), I created the masterpiece below. Enjoy, and make sure to read the full post after you're done watching.
As Britt so artfully spoiled, not all of my 50 things are true. To be specific, 20 of them are fake. The other 30 are completely true. Now, before you start gnashing your teeth and grumbling and pulling your hair out and asking "Why, Holy Avitable, why", I do have a plan.
It's a contest! I've listed all 50 things below. Just check off the boxes of the 20 that you think are FALSE, and submit it to me. DON'T TYPE IT IN THE COMMENTS. Although, leave comments telling me how pretty I am and how whorish Britt looks.
The person who is able to guess the most FALSE answers will win a prize. An actual prize, like an Amazon.com gift card or something. If there is a tie, then I might give two gifts, or split one gift. Not sure yet, but it's my fucking contest. I'll let this go until the end of the week, and then I'm picking a winner.
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I don't know whether to be upset because you didn't make illustrations like you did for Poppy... or be happy that you brought Britt along for the ride?
Comments by Dave2
Well, we'll see. I'm largely guessing. But as per instructions - you're awesome.
Comments by Melanie
If I win... keep the gift card... I want a custom illustration about my Avintellectual prowness.
Comments by NYC Watchdog
She has the best hair ever! And you've maintained your suave handsome 'do also!
Comments by Maritza
My God, that is a lot of sexy in one video post!
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Why are y'all wearing clothes? I was totally expecting porn. I'm soooo disappointed.
Comments by DeniseTN
I am so going to smoke this contest. TOO EASY.
Comments by Poppy
Dave, I figured since I already did the illustrations, I couldn't do it again. And where is your contest submission?
Melanie, guessing is fine, and thank you. I know i'm awesome!
NYCWD, okay, it's a deal.
Maritza, yeah, we had just gotten all dolled up for dinner before that.
Mr. Fabulous, lot of back hair, too.
Denise, do you think Britt and I would give that away? It's for sale at http://www.britt-gorilla-sex.com.
Poppy, good luck!
Comments by Avitable
i tried my best, cuz i could eliminate all the stuff i knew was true, but still too many I was unsure of....
can I know how well/bad i did even if I don't win??
Comments by Julianne
For some reason, I feel compelled to tell you how very awesome you are.
So there you go.
Comments by Paticus
I thought that underwear I bought at The Salvation Army smelled funny.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Avi, your replies suck. And not in the very good way.
Comments by Poppy
Sigh, and I totally posted this to the wrong post. But you still aren't sucking correctly.
Comments by Poppy
I think this is all a big trick. All the items that would require you to leave the house are false.
Comments by Joefish
so is the video safe for kids.
and by kids i mean human not goat.
the kind of kid that likes to repeat things.
like say the two year old I baby sit who told her mom "holy shit! a fucking spider!" yesterday afternoon.
by the way I called my FIL over to kill the spider so I am OK
if the video isn't kid proof, I will do the whole contest quizzzzy thing tonight after the brats go to sleep
Comments by bluepaintred
Just so you know
Server not found
Firefox can't find the server at http://www.britt-gorilla-sex.com..
* Check the address for typing errors such as
ww.example.com instead of
http://www.example.com
* If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer's network
connection.
* If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, make sure
that Firefox is permitted to access the Web.
Once again your sex links aren't working
Comments by bluepaintred
Julianne, I'll let everyone know how they did. And you know some of those very well, I'm sure!
Paticus, it's okay - that's a good type of compulsive behavior.
Mistress Yoda, I hope you were buying it to parachute with, because it's wayyy too big for you to wear.
Poppy, at least I'm commenting in the right thread!
Joefish, back in the old days I used to leave the house frequently.
BPR, there's a bit of lanuage, but actually it's pretty safe. I'd say that you can watch it. And the Britt Gorilla Sex site will be up and running once we get the payment gateway working. That's Britt's job.
Comments by Avitable
Britt's pretty and you look whorish.
Comments by heather
Avi, at least my ass is beautiful.
Joe, YOU'VE FIGURED OUT THE SECRET! You're so smart!!!!
Comments by Poppy
Ok, that was a bit harder than I thought it would be. And why isn't there a donkey in that video? Didn't somebody promise us donkey porn?
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Ahhh, that chemistry is undeniable!
Comments by Amy
ugh, still can't watch it! hate hate!
Comments by Crys!
naw, it's the connection at the shop. couldn't watch my own video either. OH THE INJUSTICE. i live for your media, avi. LIVE for it.
Comments by Crys!
I was going to let Hugh use it since he'll be without a parachute.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Heather, you must be confused.
Poppy, that is indeed a beautiful ass.
Tracy, it should be harder. I've done some weird shit!
Amy, you should have seen the naked ones.
Crystal, it will be worth the antici . . . . . . pation.
Mistress Yoda, ah, good point.
Comments by Avitable
Tough quiz, but great idea! And I agree, you both have great tresses and fun chemistry : )
Comments by cat
please tell me the sisters weren't donkey sisters, avi.
Comments by Webmiztris
I can't believe I did so poorly. I'm going to go cry now.
Comments by Poppy
Cat, you should see us naked.
Dawn, they might have been . . .
Poppy, you did well. Right now, Britt is in the lead, I think.
Comments by Avitable
WOOOO HOOOOO!!!
I want a prize for being in an early lead. :-)
And oh MAH GOODNESS we are just too cute, aren't we? LOL
Comments by Miss Britt
Is anyone surprised that Britt is going to win? (That'd be no.
)
Comments by Poppy
If Britt DIDN'T win... then there would be something seriously wrong with the whole sitcheeation.
Comments by NYC Watchdog
Hehehe, agreed NYCWD.
Comments by Poppy
Britt, you don't get shit unless you win.
Poppy and NYCWD, I hereby confirm that Britt has no foreknowledge of which of the 50 things are true and which are false. The first time she saw them was when she read the on camera, and I refused to discuss the fake ones with her.
Comments by Avitable
You know... the one where you said you ate 6 Whoppers in one sitting? Yeah, well after our recent conversations about Easter candy, I seriously thought you meant the OTHER kind of whopper and in which case... 6... pfft, that's nothing!
Comments by Amy
Yeah, that's nothing. No, we're talking Burger King Whopper Sandwiches, to be explicit.
Comments by Avitable
I did realize that later... much later... it's the low carb diet, all I can think about is chocolate in many, many, many forms.
Comments by Amy
Avi, NYCWD and I are not accusing Britt of knowing them ahead of time. I think we just expect she knows more about you than any of the rest of us.
Comments by Poppy
Comments by Poppy
Oh, fuck...that's sick, Poppy!!!!!
You're a sick Poppy. Heh. Get it?
Comments by DeniseTN
I'm pretending it's vaginal.
Comments by Poppy
ok, i am back in from my long grueling day shopping for espadrilles, and might i just start by saying what a fabulous thumbnail YouTube has provided of both you and the hauntingly lovely Miss Britt
Comments by Crys!
zomg, tremendous! it stops after the title! all this buildup for nothing!
i'm cutting! srsly!
Comments by Crys!
k, i'm going to Britt's blog to see if i can get it there...after like trying 4EVA
Comments by Crys!
well, i went to her site and saw her 50 things, she's SOOOO cute! eeek! but still can't see your 30 real things...curses.
Comments by Crys!
Hehe.
Comments by heather
Amy, I bet you'd love the Hershey's Sundae Pie I had from BK tonight, too.
Poppy, she knows as much as most of you. And you are a dirty birdy!
Denise, clever girl.
Crystal, the anticipation is definitely worth it now. You must keep trying until you watch it, and then you have to enter the contest. Let's see if you're the genius you claim to be!
Heather, thanks for the smiley!
Comments by Avitable
thanks for the link! saw it finally. some of those were dodgy as to fake or true. i've got a couple no-brainers though. and if you wrote a book, hon, i wanna read it.
Comments by Crys!
wait, did you say "claim"
Comments by Crys!
I just watched both of the videos again. Ya know...for a gorilla, you're pretty sexy.
Comments by DeniseTN
for whatever reason, i see no boxes so cannot enter the competition. at this point it seems you are taunting me. why you would do this i do not know, as i have only ever loved you.
Comments by Crys!
denise: ain't he though? rawr
Comments by Crys!
re boxes/vid: it appears then disappears, all of it. must be something on my end. so all i can do is go with the one sure thing i mentioned to you in email, which sucks because otherwise, i win the innernay.
Comments by Crys!
Crystal, your computer is weird! And yes, I said "claim"! Prove me wrong.
Denise, don't make me blush. I have to go pound my chest and eat a banana now.
Comments by Avitable
Obligatory “you are awesome and pretty” and Miss Britt is whorish looking. (kidding Miss Britt. Except when your boobs almost came out of your shirt when you leaned back)
Comments by usedtobeme
You're awesome!
You'd be more awesome if you'd interview me from what.....50 posts ago?
Just sayin'.
Comments by Tug
Avi - You? Blush? I must see that!
Comments by heather
that is all
Comments by Miss Britt
Usedtobeme, Britt's boobs had a mind of their own.
Tug, check your email, whiner!
Heather, it takes a lot.
Britt, you and Heather clearly think along the same lines.
Comments by Avitable
Mama always said to do what I'm good at.
Comments by Tug
I like those little tick box thingy. What is that? How did you do that? I had already watched the video. For some reason, it was on my youtube front page.
Weird, but I was like, OMG what is this? Heh.
Comments by Kentucky Girl
Cute. Very cute for a gorilla. Do you attack if humans try to pet you?
Comments by Donna
Tug, well ya got to stick with what you're good at.
KG, they're just checkboxes, as part of a form. Did you enter the contest?
Donna, no, I like when people pet me. Especially in my special place.
Comments by Avitable
[...] Go watch my 50 things video, and then enter the contest! I'll be calculating the winner tonight and posting a huge ass fucking post tomorrow that will go over each of my fifty things and announce the winner of the awesome prize! [...]
Comments by Avitable » Happy birthday!
Just watched this again. Cannot WAIT to get down there to make this a regular thing. We are so fucking cute.
Comments by Miss Britt
Yes, we are!
Comments by Avitable