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50 Things I Have Done

Back in March, I did a series of illustrations for Poppy to do her 50 Things video inspired by Paperlilies. I was inspired to do my own, and I know all of you were holding your breath waiting for it. Well, now your wait is over. With Miss Britt at my side (and check out her blog for her 50 Things video, as well), I created the masterpiece below. Enjoy, and make sure to read the full post after you’re done watching.

As Britt so artfully spoiled, not all of my 50 things are true. To be specific, 20 of them are fake. The other 30 are completely true. Now, before you start gnashing your teeth and grumbling and pulling your hair out and asking “Why, Holy Avitable, why”, I do have a plan.

It’s a contest! I’ve listed all 50 things below. Just check off the boxes of the 20 that you think are FALSE, and submit it to me. DON’T TYPE IT IN THE COMMENTS. Although, leave comments telling me how pretty I am and how whorish Britt looks.

The person who is able to guess the most FALSE answers will win a prize. An actual prize, like an gift card or something. If there is a tie, then I might give two gifts, or split one gift. Not sure yet, but it’s my fucking contest. I’ll let this go until the end of the week, and then I’m picking a winner.



The 50 Things

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66 Replies to “50 Things I Have Done”

  1. Avitable

    Dave, I figured since I already did the illustrations, I couldn’t do it again. And where is your contest submission?

    Melanie, guessing is fine, and thank you. I know i’m awesome!

    NYCWD, okay, it’s a deal.

    Maritza, yeah, we had just gotten all dolled up for dinner before that.

    Mr. Fabulous, lot of back hair, too.

    Denise, do you think Britt and I would give that away? It’s for sale at

    Poppy, good luck!

  2. bluepaintred

    so is the video safe for kids.

    and by kids i mean human not goat.

    the kind of kid that likes to repeat things.

    like say the two year old I baby sit who told her mom “holy shit! a fucking spider!” yesterday afternoon.

    by the way I called my FIL over to kill the spider so I am OK

    if the video isn’t kid proof, I will do the whole contest quizzzzy thing tonight after the brats go to sleep

  3. bluepaintred

    Just so you know

    Server not found

    Firefox can’t find the server at

    * Check the address for typing errors such as instead of

    * If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer’s network

    * If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, make sure
    that Firefox is permitted to access the Web.

    Once again your sex links aren’t working

  4. Avitable

    Julianne, I’ll let everyone know how they did. And you know some of those very well, I’m sure!

    Paticus, it’s okay – that’s a good type of compulsive behavior.

    Mistress Yoda, I hope you were buying it to parachute with, because it’s wayyy too big for you to wear.

    Poppy, at least I’m commenting in the right thread!

    Joefish, back in the old days I used to leave the house frequently.

    BPR, there’s a bit of lanuage, but actually it’s pretty safe. I’d say that you can watch it. And the Britt Gorilla Sex site will be up and running once we get the payment gateway working. That’s Britt’s job.

  5. Avitable

    Heather, you must be confused.

    Poppy, that is indeed a beautiful ass.

    Tracy, it should be harder. I’ve done some weird shit!

    Amy, you should have seen the naked ones.

    Crystal, it will be worth the antici . . . . . . pation.

    Mistress Yoda, ah, good point.

  6. Avitable

    Britt, you don’t get shit unless you win.

    Poppy and NYCWD, I hereby confirm that Britt has no foreknowledge of which of the 50 things are true and which are false. The first time she saw them was when she read the on camera, and I refused to discuss the fake ones with her.

  7. Amy

    You know… the one where you said you ate 6 Whoppers in one sitting? Yeah, well after our recent conversations about Easter candy, I seriously thought you meant the OTHER kind of whopper and in which case… 6… pfft, that’s nothing!

  8. Crys!

    ok, i am back in from my long grueling day shopping for espadrilles, and might i just start by saying what a fabulous thumbnail YouTube has provided of both you and the hauntingly lovely Miss Britt

  9. Avitable

    Amy, I bet you’d love the Hershey’s Sundae Pie I had from BK tonight, too.

    Poppy, she knows as much as most of you. And you are a dirty birdy!

    Denise, clever girl.

    Crystal, the anticipation is definitely worth it now. You must keep trying until you watch it, and then you have to enter the contest. Let’s see if you’re the genius you claim to be!

    Heather, thanks for the smiley!

  10. Crys!

    re boxes/vid: it appears then disappears, all of it. must be something on my end. so all i can do is go with the one sure thing i mentioned to you in email, which sucks because otherwise, i win the innernay.

  11. Avitable

    Tug, well ya got to stick with what you’re good at.

    KG, they’re just checkboxes, as part of a form. Did you enter the contest?

    Donna, no, I like when people pet me. Especially in my special place.

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