I was awarded a Thinking Blogger Award by Britt, Tracy and Bluepaintred. Thank you to all of you, although you're all fucking crazy. The only thing you should ever think when you read me is "Is he fucking serious?" I mean, yes, it's clear to everyone that I am a genius who has forgotten more than most of you will ever know, and that is a good reason for plenty of awards. Couple that with the fact that even though I may be smarter and better than you, I still treat you like you're a normal person, and I should be up for sainthood. All I need now is to do three miracles, and I can become the Holy Saint of Donkey Fucking or something. However, this blog is all about humor. Life is full of little funnies, and it's our job to find them.
That being said, if I can make you think about things at which you should laugh, I am happy. And I'm happy to pass on this award, as is required, to five additional blogs that make me think. Since this has gone around a bit, some of the old standbys that I might otherwise choose are not on my list. Britt and Amy and Tracy and Dawn and Joefish and Dave and others have been identified as "Thinking Bloggers," and so I won't waste time discussing them at all.
My choices are:
1. Midnight Therapy with Crystal
Crystal Anne is a vlogger. She is witty and funny and gorgeous and insane. She is a being of enlightenment and she is kind enough to share her wisdom with us. One of my favorite more recent posts is all about her moves, although posts about her vagina, punching boys in their boy parts, or her brother's ass are just as entertaining.
Miss Misery is a sarcastic 17-year old girl in Canada with Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (MHE), which is a disorder of bone growth. This can make life very painful for her, yet she managed to maintain a normal life and work, have a boyfriend, get ready for college, and everything else. While some people would complain and whine and bitch and moan about this, she doesn't. Even at her age, she's more mature than most adult bloggers I read. She makes me realize how great she sounds and how horrible I would have sounded at 17 if I had my personal thoughts and beliefs online. It would not be pretty.
RW is a 54-year old blogger with the heart and soul of someone born in the 1920s. His blog is a very refreshing take on life and his perspective is one of the most unique that I've seen online. Every one of his posts is a must read. Start with his explanation of the name, move on to his "About Me", and continue from there. If you're not hooked or at least intrigued, you are indeed soulless.
To be honest, I don't read any of the other contributors here. I only read Schadenfreude's posts. He's funny, sarcastic, erudite, poignant, mean, witty, and manages to be unflinching and reasonable in his observations.
For my last Thinking Blogger Award, I'm going with The Mistress. She's a young professional who really, really loves dick. And she writes about it all the time. She likes sex, talking about sex, having sex, thinking about sex, initiating sex, writing about sex, and sexing sex sex sexity sex sex. And I like reading about it. Makes me think, and makes me think in my pants.
Also, don't forget! Scroll down, watch the 50 things video, and then vote on which 20 things are fake! Win a prize!
UPDATED: After you're done reading the post, entering the contest, masturbating, and leaving a comment, watch this video. It's a digital short from last week's SNL that parodies an episode of the OC, and it's hilarious. Andy Samberg is a genius:
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Oh damn, thanks, Avitable!
Comments by Schadenfreude
YOU? A thinking blogger award? Are you sure you're not being punk'd?
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
I saw the video on Sunday morning, and I thought it was hilarious, even though I didn't know it was a parody of the O.C.
Do you happen to recognize the song ?
Congrats on being a thinking blogger !!
Comments by Paticus
Schadenfreude, just make sure you send that check, okay?
Mr. Fabulous, oh, I know I'm being punk'd.
Paticus, I thought it was hilarious before I realized it was a parody of the OC, too. The song is called "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap.
Comments by Avitable
Why have you been keeping The Mistress Lounge a secret from me?! You know that's all I ever think about too!
(You need more sex smilies.)
And, thanks for explaining that the skit was a spoof of The OC. It was unwatchable for me the first time, so I won't be watching it again.
Comments by Poppy
im just here to rape your blogroll you left me a teaser on my blog and no link. . .
Comments by bluepaintred
Comments by themuttprincess
OMG MY GRAVATAR FINALLY WORKED! yes!
Comments by themuttprincess
Ooops, I just realized that I already have read her site and already do link to her on my page. That's what I get for having an impossibly long blogroll.
Happy busy day, Avi!
Comments by Poppy
I almost called you this morning to say "don't forget RW!!!"
Comments by Miss Britt
hey there, thanks for the shout out. so many olives!
Comments by Crys!
themuttprincess: yah, it took like 2 weeks to change my gravatar over...LONG TIME DAT ONE
Comments by Crys!
ha! that vid was good....
Comments by Webmiztris
This makes sense now, I tend to like the company of intelligent men. I love it when you guys spout of big words about stuff I have no clue about and I just pretend to listen.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
I had no idea that you thought anywhere BUT your pants.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
You always make me think. Usually, you make me think that I'm going to throw up.
Comments by Mist 1
I wouldn't mind if you wanted to talk about me anyway... I'd love to hear what I might have said that made YOU think of anything other than boobs and sex in some form.
Comments by Amy
Crys... It worked on other people's sites.. but it was random.
Comments by themuttprincess
The video disappeared as I was reading your post. dammit.
Going to check out some thinkers now...I like new things!
Comments by Tug
Poppy, more sex smilies? I think we're all full. That video was awesome! Senseless violence always is.
BPR, it was about as easy as could be, though.
TMP, I like the gravatar. The bouncing boobs are nice, too.
Poppy, there you go!
Britt, great minds think alike and share boobs.
Crystal, I only tell the truth.
Dawn, wasn't it? Andy Samberg is fucking hilarious.
Mistress Yoda, indubitably!
Tracy, occasionally. But only immediately after ejaculation while I recharge.
Mist, I was hoping I occasionally made you think of me while you play with B.O.B.
Amy, you make me think about kids. You should know that by now.
Tug, what do you mean disappeared? It's there. Try again.
Comments by Avitable
Thanks! Bouncing boobs are one of my favorite things.
Comments by themuttprincess
Do I really??? I mean seriously? In an, "I'm thinking about it (as in considering it)" kind of way?
Comments by Amy
Posting this video only a few days after the worst tragedy in US history is even lower than I would have ever expected from you. You just lost a reader, asshole.
Comments by Clown
DAMN. And I STILL can't see it...I'll keep trying. 'Cause now I really REALLY want to - the OC parody compared to the other? hmmmmm
Comments by Tug
Make that TWO readers. pfft!
Comments by Poppy
And I'm taking my pretty kitties with me!!
Comments by Poppy
Um, clown - did you read the disclaimer and explanation BEFORE this post? It's a parody about the overdramatization of shows like the OC, etc. - it was done before the VT tragedy took place.
Are you going to write angry letters to TBS when they air reruns of cheesy shoot 'em up movies during the "appropriate mourning period" as well??
Comments by Miss Britt
*raising hand* I was told Clown was kidding, and that he is quite gruntled (as in, not disgruntled).
Clown, if you really are disgruntled then why are you still in Avi's house watching his TV??
Comments by Poppy
TMP, good to see that we share common interests.
Amy, you know the answer.
Clown, the ending of the OC was the worst tragedy in US history?
Tug, clearly your computer is retarded.
Poppy, I'll keep your pretty kitties forever!
Britt, thank you, sweetheart. It was unnecessary, but thanks. Have some jizz.
Comments by Avitable
Clearly. But I'm at work so it's to be expected!
Comments by Tug
Fine, I'll compromise. You can keep one of my pretty kitties, but I need the others. For stuff.
Comments by Poppy
Dammit. Why do you call and tell me this crap AFTER I come rushing to your defense.
and I was so hoping for some moron stew today
*sigh* off to find a real idiot I guess. oh. wait. I see one now....
Comments by Miss Britt
Poppy - You have more than one kitty? Were you born that way?
Comments by Tug
Tug - I may have had kitty augmentation.
Comments by Poppy
And might I add that you have a FINE ASS.
Comments by Poppy
aw shucks.
Comments by Tug
Yes, I was just doing some baiting.
Britt, it won't be hard to find somebody who would have actually been serious saying what I did. You'll get your moron, I'm sure of it.
Poppy, I actually JUST got over to his place a few minutes ago. He's in the shower (with the door locked, ugh) so I plugged in my system and am leaching off his connection.
Comments by Clown
The door is locked? Well, that explains why he isn't returning any emails.
FUCK - the last email i got from him was "man these pictures of you are sooooo cute"
and now he's in the shower
Damn him!!!!
Comments by Miss Britt
Tug and Poppy, I think you guys should get a room, videotape it, and then send it to me.
Britt, what I actually said was "Man, these pictures of me are so cute".
Clown, you are a master baiter.
Comments by Avitable
I hear he likes it when you break in during his shower time.
(I may have made that up. I am a troublemaker.
)
Comments by Poppy
There's a masterbator with a big red..............nose?
I thought YOU were getting the room & joining us. damn.
Comments by Tug
Soooo... you were in there jacking off to pictures of YOURSELF?
Wow. That's a whole new level of wrong. Even for you.
Comments by Miss Britt
Tug - That's the memo I got, too. Maybe he forgot about us?
Avi - We need shower scene sex smilies.
Comments by Poppy
Poppy, everybody's welcome in Avitable's shower!
Tug, okay, but I get all rights to the videos.
Britt, my ego's almost as big as yours.
Comments by Avitable
Boobs are one of my many interests. I like mine... and others... and strangers.. whatever....
Comments by themuttprincess
I don't care who gets the rights as long as I get some fun. It's all good.
Comments by Tug
"I don't care who gets the rights as long as I get some fun. It's all good."
what? Huh? I just... I'm so... that's not... no... no... NO... Avi, make it stop!!!!!!!!!~!! It burns, it burns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments by Miss Britt
I don't know whether to be insulted or laugh hysterically.
I'll take the laughs.
Comments by Tug
Tug, it's not an insult. I just.. I can't imagine... I mean... you don't care about ANY of the rights?!?!
Dude. The porn industry is a multi BILLION dollar industry. BILLIONS. Of DOLLARS!!!!!!
(retreats back to fetal position and crying)
Comments by Miss Britt
Yeah, I'm a freak like that. You who get sex just wouldn't understand. I may re-negotiate after some satisfaction & fun. first things first.
Course tons of money could BUY sex. ewwwwwwwww.
Comments by Tug
Tug - We should at least ask for 3%.
Damn, there just aren't enough good smilies for a decent comment thread...
Comments by Poppy
YAR! I'm the top commenter for an entire minute before Crys! returns! Do I get a prize?!???!?!?
Comments by Poppy
Tug, sweetie, try going here directly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwSr824fJCg
Comments by Poppy
Poppy darlin', I'm home now & it magically appeared here again - but THANKS!
Avi, you're a sick sick man.
I guess I quit watching the OC too soon. 
Comments by Tug
Anything I can do to help you watch a dirty video.
Comments by Poppy
I didn't realize that was a spoof of the O.C.... I thought it was making fun of every movie that does something similar to that... I laughed my ass off anyway...
Comments by cat
I go away for a little while and there's another party in my comments.
Cat, I laughed my ass off before I saw the OC clip, and then once I saw it, it was even funnier.
Comments by Avitable
Well..... I'm back. I have linked Miss Britt and put asterisks by your names, but I will not tell anyone that this means I have stuffed the both of you into trunks and taken over your blogs. Mwa ha... uh... and so I thank you for the mention in this post and will not tell anyone it was I (haha) that actually wrote it!
Comments by RW
Hmmm... I can't seem to find the clip... nothing revolving guns or anything, just a bunch of mushy love stuff between Marissa and the dude... is that the spoof?
Comments by cat
Nevermind! Just found it! Funny : )
Comments by cat
MeRW, you are indeed an amazing and witty individual.Cat, yeah, the music and the way she handles the gun is spot on.
Comments by Avitable
Awh thanks Avi you are too sweet :) I feel special now lol. :)
Comments by Miss Misery
hey avi, don't know if you noticed someone say that the vid disappeared in the middle of the post...that's what happened to me the other day, remember? and the poll too (the boxes)...so maybe it wasn't on my end? just thought i'd mention it as i'm thinking it...
i'm a giver!
Comments by Crys!
whoa, this poppy chick is beating me at comments...she's putting such earnestness into it! fek!
Comments by Crys!
Miss Misery, you are special!
Crystal, it's just people with slow ass computers and slow ass internet who are slow asses.
Comments by Avitable
Slow ass at WORK, up to speed at home. NICE ASS always.
Comments by Tug
Crys, I promise it wasn't intentional. Clearly I am spending too much time at Avi's blog playing with Tug.
Comments by Poppy
Meow, Mama Tug!
Comments by Poppy
and it's good for me, which is really all that matters.
Comments by Tug
back atcha' Poppy!
Comments by Tug
who's your mamma
Comments by Tug
You are, you are!!!
Comments by Poppy
Comments by Tug
Seriously, my husband needs to grow some boobs for me to play with or else I'm finding some of my own. (And I don't mean mine, I'm tired of my own.
)
Avi, how about a smiley where one smiley is grabbing another smiley's boobs? I need that one.
Comments by Poppy
here's some boobies for you Poppy! play away......
Comments by Tug
I love that my post about Thinking Bloggers has deteriorated into a boob discussion. Makes me proud.
Comments by Avitable
yeah I was just thinking who the FUCK gave you a "thinking blogger" award??
Comments by Miss Britt
Some hot blonde.
Comments by Avitable
Wheeeee!
Comments by Poppy
Haha thanks Avitable...but I don't get it, so like did I actually win an award or something? Man, for making YOU think I sure as HECK don't know how to.
Comments by Miss Misery
Yeah, I forgot to mention that. Those people who are awarded should post the image on their site and name five additional blogs that make them think. That's the award!