I was awarded a Thinking Blogger Award by Britt, Tracy and Bluepaintred. Thank you to all of you, although you're all fucking crazy. The only thing you should ever think when you read me is "Is he fucking serious?" I mean, yes, it's clear to everyone that I am a genius who has forgotten more than most of you will ever know, and that is a good reason for plenty of awards. Couple that with the fact that even though I may be smarter and better than you, I still treat you like you're a normal person, and I should be up for sainthood. All I need now is to do three miracles, and I can become the Holy Saint of Donkey Fucking or something. However, this blog is all about humor. Life is full of little funnies, and it's our job to find them.

That being said, if I can make you think about things at which you should laugh, I am happy. And I'm happy to pass on this award, as is required, to five additional blogs that make me think. Since this has gone around a bit, some of the old standbys that I might otherwise choose are not on my list. Britt and Amy and Tracy and Dawn and Joefish and Dave and others have been identified as "Thinking Bloggers," and so I won't waste time discussing them at all.

My choices are:

1. Midnight Therapy with Crystal

Crystal Anne is a vlogger. She is witty and funny and gorgeous and insane. She is a being of enlightenment and she is kind enough to share her wisdom with us. One of my favorite more recent posts is all about her moves, although posts about her vagina, punching boys in their boy parts, or her brother's ass are just as entertaining.

2. Miss Misery Smiles

Miss Misery is a sarcastic 17-year old girl in Canada with Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (MHE), which is a disorder of bone growth. This can make life very painful for her, yet she managed to maintain a normal life and work, have a boyfriend, get ready for college, and everything else. While some people would complain and whine and bitch and moan about this, she doesn't. Even at her age, she's more mature than most adult bloggers I read. She makes me realize how great she sounds and how horrible I would have sounded at 17 if I had my personal thoughts and beliefs online. It would not be pretty.

3. Chasing Vincenzo

RW is a 54-year old blogger with the heart and soul of someone born in the 1920s. His blog is a very refreshing take on life and his perspective is one of the most unique that I've seen online. Every one of his posts is a must read. Start with his explanation of the name, move on to his "About Me", and continue from there. If you're not hooked or at least intrigued, you are indeed soulless.

4. The Fifth Column

To be honest, I don't read any of the other contributors here. I only read Schadenfreude's posts. He's funny, sarcastic, erudite, poignant, mean, witty, and manages to be unflinching and reasonable in his observations.

5. The Mistress Lounge

For my last Thinking Blogger Award, I'm going with The Mistress. She's a young professional who really, really loves dick. And she writes about it all the time. She likes sex, talking about sex, having sex, thinking about sex, initiating sex, writing about sex, and sexing sex sex sexity sex sex. And I like reading about it. Makes me think, and makes me think in my pants.

Also, don't forget! Scroll down, watch the 50 things video, and then vote on which 20 things are fake! Win a prize!

UPDATED: After you're done reading the post, entering the contest, masturbating, and leaving a comment, watch this video. It's a digital short from last week's SNL that parodies an episode of the OC, and it's hilarious. Andy Samberg is a genius:

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