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Moron meet Rodan

Thinking Blogger Award

I was awarded a Thinking Blogger Award by Britt, Tracy and Bluepaintred. Thank you to all of you, although you’re all fucking crazy. The only thing you should ever think when you read me is “Is he fucking serious?” I mean, yes, it’s clear to everyone that I am a genius who has forgotten more than most of you will ever know, and that is a good reason for plenty of awards. Couple that with the fact that even though I may be smarter and better than you, I still treat you like you’re a normal person, and I should be up for sainthood. All I need now is to do three miracles, and I can become the Holy Saint of Donkey Fucking or something. However, this blog is all about humor. Life is full of little funnies, and it’s our job to find them.

That being said, if I can make you think about things at which you should laugh, I am happy. And I’m happy to pass on this award, as is required, to five additional blogs that make me think. Since this has gone around a bit, some of the old standbys that I might otherwise choose are not on my list. Britt and Amy and Tracy and Dawn and Joefish and Dave and others have been identified as “Thinking Bloggers,” and so I won’t waste time discussing them at all.

My choices are:

1. Midnight Therapy with Crystal

Crystal Anne is a vlogger. She is witty and funny and gorgeous and insane. She is a being of enlightenment and she is kind enough to share her wisdom with us. One of my favorite more recent posts is all about her moves, although posts about her vagina, punching boys in their boy parts, or her brother’s ass are just as entertaining.

2. Miss Misery Smiles

Miss Misery is a sarcastic 17-year old girl in Canada with Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (MHE), which is a disorder of bone growth. This can make life very painful for her, yet she managed to maintain a normal life and work, have a boyfriend, get ready for college, and everything else. While some people would complain and whine and bitch and moan about this, she doesn’t. Even at her age, she’s more mature than most adult bloggers I read. She makes me realize how great she sounds and how horrible I would have sounded at 17 if I had my personal thoughts and beliefs online. It would not be pretty.

3. Chasing Vincenzo

RW is a 54-year old blogger with the heart and soul of someone born in the 1920s. His blog is a very refreshing take on life and his perspective is one of the most unique that I’ve seen online. Every one of his posts is a must read. Start with his explanation of the name, move on to his “About Me“, and continue from there. If you’re not hooked or at least intrigued, you are indeed soulless.

4. The Fifth Column

To be honest, I don’t read any of the other contributors here. I only read Schadenfreude‘s posts. He’s funny, sarcastic, erudite, poignant, mean, witty, and manages to be unflinching and reasonable in his observations.

5. The Mistress Lounge

For my last Thinking Blogger Award, I’m going with The Mistress. She’s a young professional who really, really loves dick. And she writes about it all the time. She likes sex, talking about sex, having sex, thinking about sex, initiating sex, writing about sex, and sexing sex sex sexity sex sex. And I like reading about it. Makes me think, and makes me think in my pants.

Also, don’t forget! Scroll down, watch the 50 things video, and then vote on which 20 things are fake! Win a prize!

UPDATED: After you’re done reading the post, entering the contest, masturbating, and leaving a comment, watch this video. It’s a digital short from last week’s SNL that parodies an episode of the OC, and it’s hilarious. Andy Samberg is a genius:

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83 Replies to “Moron meet Rodan”

  1. Paticus

    I saw the video on Sunday morning, and I thought it was hilarious, even though I didn’t know it was a parody of the O.C.
    Do you happen to recognize the song ?
    Congrats on being a thinking blogger !!

  2. Avitable

    Schadenfreude, just make sure you send that check, okay?

    Mr. Fabulous, oh, I know I’m being punk’d.

    Paticus, I thought it was hilarious before I realized it was a parody of the OC, too. The song is called “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap.

  3. Poppy

    Why have you been keeping The Mistress Lounge a secret from me?! You know that’s all I ever think about too!

    (You need more sex smilies.)

    And, thanks for explaining that the skit was a spoof of The OC. It was unwatchable for me the first time, so I won’t be watching it again.

  4. Avitable

    Poppy, more sex smilies? I think we’re all full. That video was awesome! Senseless violence always is.

    BPR, it was about as easy as could be, though.

    TMP, I like the gravatar. The bouncing boobs are nice, too.

    Poppy, there you go!

    Britt, great minds think alike and share boobs.

    Crystal, I only tell the truth.

    Dawn, wasn’t it? Andy Samberg is fucking hilarious.

    Mistress Yoda, indubitably!

    Tracy, occasionally. But only immediately after ejaculation while I recharge.

    Mist, I was hoping I occasionally made you think of me while you play with B.O.B.

    Amy, you make me think about kids. You should know that by now.

    Tug, what do you mean disappeared? It’s there. Try again.

  5. Clown

    Posting this video only a few days after the worst tragedy in US history is even lower than I would have ever expected from you. You just lost a reader, asshole.

  6. Miss Britt

    Um, clown – did you read the disclaimer and explanation BEFORE this post? It’s a parody about the overdramatization of shows like the OC, etc. – it was done before the VT tragedy took place.

    Are you going to write angry letters to TBS when they air reruns of cheesy shoot ’em up movies during the “appropriate mourning period” as well??

  7. Poppy

    *raising hand* I was told Clown was kidding, and that he is quite gruntled (as in, not disgruntled).

    Clown, if you really are disgruntled then why are you still in Avi’s house watching his TV??

  8. Avitable

    TMP, good to see that we share common interests.

    Amy, you know the answer.

    Clown, the ending of the OC was the worst tragedy in US history?

    Tug, clearly your computer is retarded.

    Poppy, I’ll keep your pretty kitties forever!

    Britt, thank you, sweetheart. It was unnecessary, but thanks. Have some jizz. :jerkoff2:

  9. Miss Britt

    Dammit. Why do you call and tell me this crap AFTER I come rushing to your defense.

    and I was so hoping for some moron stew today :pissed:

    *sigh* off to find a real idiot I guess. oh. wait. I see one now….

  10. Clown

    Yes, I was just doing some baiting.

    Britt, it won’t be hard to find somebody who would have actually been serious saying what I did. You’ll get your moron, I’m sure of it.

    Poppy, I actually JUST got over to his place a few minutes ago. He’s in the shower (with the door locked, ugh) so I plugged in my system and am leaching off his connection.

  11. Miss Britt

    The door is locked? Well, that explains why he isn’t returning any emails.

    FUCK – the last email i got from him was “man these pictures of you are sooooo cute”

    and now he’s in the shower

    Damn him!!!! :crazywife:

  12. Avitable

    Tug and Poppy, I think you guys should get a room, videotape it, and then send it to me.

    Britt, what I actually said was “Man, these pictures of me are so cute”.

    Clown, you are a master baiter.

  13. Miss Britt

    “I don’t care who gets the rights as long as I get some fun. It’s all good.”

    what? Huh? I just… I’m so… that’s not… no… no… NO… Avi, make it stop!!!!!!!!!~!! It burns, it burns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :crying:

  14. Miss Britt

    Tug, it’s not an insult. I just.. I can’t imagine… I mean… you don’t care about ANY of the rights?!?!

    Dude. The porn industry is a multi BILLION dollar industry. BILLIONS. Of DOLLARS!!!!!!

    (retreats back to fetal position and crying)

  15. Tug

    Yeah, I’m a freak like that. You who get sex just wouldn’t understand. I may re-negotiate after some satisfaction & fun. first things first.

    Course tons of money could BUY sex. ewwwwwwwww.


  16. Tug

    Poppy darlin’, I’m home now & it magically appeared here again – but THANKS! :heartbeat: :boobs2:

    Avi, you’re a sick sick man. :cocksuck2: I guess I quit watching the OC too soon. :lmao:

  17. cat

    I didn’t realize that was a spoof of the O.C…. I thought it was making fun of every movie that does something similar to that… I laughed my ass off anyway…

  18. RW

    Well….. I’m back. I have linked Miss Britt and put asterisks by your names, but I will not tell anyone that this means I have stuffed the both of you into trunks and taken over your blogs. Mwa ha… uh… and so I thank you for the mention in this post and will not tell anyone it was I (haha) that actually wrote it!

  19. Crys!

    hey avi, don’t know if you noticed someone say that the vid disappeared in the middle of the post…that’s what happened to me the other day, remember? and the poll too (the boxes)…so maybe it wasn’t on my end? just thought i’d mention it as i’m thinking it…

    i’m a giver!

  20. Poppy

    Seriously, my husband needs to grow some boobs for me to play with or else I’m finding some of my own. (And I don’t mean mine, I’m tired of my own. 😛 )

    Avi, how about a smiley where one smiley is grabbing another smiley’s boobs? I need that one.

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