Before I get into the birthday wishes, I just received this photo of Britt, RW, and myself from RW that I thought I'd post. Aren't I cute?
Is it really Hitler's birthday again? It seems like it was just yesterday that I was buying a little mustachioed birthday cake that I burned down to ash, pissed on the smoldering remains and fed to my dog until she shit it out, then scooped it up and threw it in the trash.
The little failed artists and creators around the world have a role model. Maybe someday they can grow up and try to wipe out an entire race of people. It's amazing how this little shell of a man managed to inspire a nation. And if it's not clear, I am not a fan. The humor of my header is purely situational. The juxtaposition of a mass-murdering sociopath sitting next to someone eating ice cream from decades later is funny. That's it.
While I have never gotten a single email or comment accusing me of being anti-Semitic, I'm sure someday it will happen. Some Jewish blogger, or some liberal with white guilt will come across this blog and be immediately offended. They'll shoot off a self-important missive and pat themselves on the back while they try to contact my hosting provider to get me off the web. I relish the opportunity to reply to this person and explain that I love Jews. In fact, I'm so close to being Jewish that I can say "Jews" without it taking on a pejorative connotation (which it never should, but you never know). I love Jewish women, food, and philosophy. A naked JAP feeding me potato latkes while giving me a blowjob sounds just like heaven.
So, fuck you Hitler. You'd be 118 today, and if I saw you crossing the street with your walker, I'd clip you with my car, and then go in reverse over you and park on your legs. Then I'd demonstrate German Scheisse films on your face. Happy fuckin' birthday.
Oh yeah, happy 29th birthday, Miss Ann!
posted by 
filed under 
tagged 
Aw, lookie at the cute little bloggers... how precious!
Comments by Sheila
Nice pic.
I often figured you would be the one person who would want to find out if Hitler liked Vanilla or Chocolate ice cream. Perhaps puree?
BTW... thanks for not linking to your German Scheisse video collection.
Comments by NYC Watchdog
Thanks for the well wishes...well, the happy birthday thing...even if I did come in second to a tyrannical nutbag.
Comments by Miss Ann Thrope
God bless you. I am glad someone finally had the guts to come out against Hitler!
Holy crap, Britt has beautiful hair. It's even better than yours.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
It's also a holiday. 420! And! It's Carmen Electra's birthday. And! It's my husband's birthday.
Comments by heather
Sheila, I know. I'm so precious!
NYCWD, I decided the Scheisse videos might be a bit much.
Miss Ann,
Mr. Fab, I know! I'm not afraid to take a stand, you know. And she is definitely a cutie.
Heather, yeah, I ran out of steam, but I planned on working 420 into that, too.
Comments by Avitable
Y'know, being a Jewish woman (me, not you), I thought I'd be offended by your blog graphic. I wasn't. I even found it funny.
Even though I didn't think — for one second — that you were anti-semitic, thank you for writing this. And thank you for writing it the way you did, complete with "Jews" which didn't come across negatively (in this case).
Comments by Dawn
Jews give good blowjobs, didn't you know?
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Potato latkes and blowjobs?! I'm THERE!!
Comments by Poppy
See, now I would think it would be the extreme right who would complain the loudest. When I saw your banner I thought to myself, "damn, I how come I never get to know anyone famous?" Then I thought, "hey, I wonder what flavor ice cream that is.." The whole Hitler thing is just old. People who are offended by even the image should get the hell over themselves. I've lived in New York and Los Angeles and I can guarantee you, the Jewish race has recovered.
There's plenty of current genocide to ignore in the world today. Ya know, if anyone ever did complain, you could always photoshop yourself into a picture with Idi Amin. Just the effort of having to use Google to figure out who that is will keep most complainers at bay.
Comments by Kelly
Wow. I can't believe he'd only be 118. It seems like it's farther back in history then that...
Comments by Miss Britt
Dawn, thanks for the comment.
Mistress Yoda, well, I know that some of them do! I'm still waiting for you to make that instructional video.
Poppy, sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Kelly, precisely how I feel.
Britt, yeah, I know. It's about how old Miss Ann really is, too!
Comments by Avitable
Can I use a banana or some other kind of phallic object? Does whip cream need to be involved?
Comments by Mistress Yoda
A banana works. No whip cream necessary until the end. Or mayo.
Comments by Avitable
A banana with MAYO? Yucka.
My interview's up. Going to say Happy OMGWTF day to Miss Ann......
Comments by Tug
Avi - "Sounds like fun" is a severe understatement. I *love* potato latkes and blowjobs are the icing on the cake!
Tug - OOH!!! ON MY WAY OVER!!!!!!!
Comments by Poppy
why do you hate white people and Jesus?
Comments by Crys!
Plus babies. I am pretty sure he hates babies.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
I like latkes too, but I have some pretty rigid rules about separating food from sexy time.
Comments by Mist 1
you haven't gotten even one hate mail over that header? I am SHOCKED! they must be skeered of you, avi. ;)
Comments by Webmiztris
Tug, haven't you ever had a peanut butter banana raisin mayonnaise sandwich? It's delish!
Poppy, you should come over for Yom Kippur this year.
Crystal, so you admit Jesus was black?
Mr. Fabulous, I love babies! Especially when fried up with a little bit of peanut oil.
Mist, I think mixing food and sexy time can save time and double your enjoyment. Just no grease splatters, please.
Dawn, I know! I really am surprised. I've had this blog for almost 3 years now, and I've never gotten any hate mail about it.
Comments by Avitable
Camera whore. You were totally making love to the camera. I see it.
Comments by themuttprincess
But there you're offsetting just the banana/mayo thing with more. And my fave is peanut butter & potato chip sandwich. Maybe some peppers thrown on for fun.
Comments by Tug
I thought I posted this...oh well.
I said: I gag on mayo.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
TMP, I am a supermodel.
Tug, good point.
Mistress Yoda, whipped cream works.
Comments by Avitable
Now, what do you suppose was the last thing to go through that whackadoo's mind? Seriously, now Avi?
Personally, I loved your header from the get-go and found it deliciously non-PC and evidence of your obvious genius. Of course, since getting to know you better, I realize that you are truly a whackadoo as well.
I love the pic, btw, oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS ANN!!! For being 29 you don't look a day over 21... you're still getting carded aren't you?
Comments by Amy
BTW, I am seriously shocked you have never gotten a crazy email over your blog. Unless that header is the ultimate psycho repellant, maybe? I'm thinking that a psycho might come across it and think, "nevermind, this guy is waaaaaaay more fucked up than I am!"
Comments by Amy
Mistress, you gag on mayo but not bananas? Good news for all the men out there! (well, not ALL the men)
Comments by Tug
Hitler and Miss Ann, isn't that funny? I see absolutely NOTHING they have in common. *snicker*
Oh shit, she's gonna slap me.
Oh, and the photo of you Miss Britt, and RW?
Wow.
The Trifecta from Hell.
Comments by annie
i was going to say, wrt the photo, that britt is *so* purdy! fresh faced and garrrgeous. lucky boys, you were.
you weren't too bad yourselves, though. ;)
Comments by Crys!
Dick will make you slap somebody.
Comments by Clown
Between you and Fab these are a lot of tasks.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
You have that whole 'Dark, Mysterious, Sultry, Slightly Evil Photo Pose' down pat. Mmmmmm, kinda sexy.
Comments by Dragon
I hope that you can fondle the camera like that regularly. I heard it is tiring....
Comments by themuttprincess
Amy, I'm not a whackadoo! I am surprised that I've never gotten hate mail, but I think it's always the people who seem like easy targets, like Dave, who get hate mail.
Tug, as long as she doesn't gag on Vienna Sausages, I'm ok.
Annie, we're the Trifecta of Awesomeness!
Crystal, we were very lucky. We were even luckier after the blowjobs.
Clown, dick won't do shit.
Mistress Yoda, better get cracking!
Dragon, you should see my naked poses.
TMP, as long as my jaw doesn't get too tired, I'm okay.
Comments by Avitable
I can see how that would ruin the experience.
Comments by themuttprincess
Baha. I really wish I had my own avator thing but I'm too lazy to recreate an account and make myself one.
Comments by Miss Misery
Avi, I will gladly come over for Yom Kippur. No other plans but latkes and BJs. Oh, a bit of
would be nice.
Comments by Poppy
You're a wiener! (twice)
Comments by DeniseTN
Poppy loves bukkake...
Interesting.
Comments by Clown
Clown, Poppy *loves* bukkake. I did try to talk Avi into renaming that smiley : poppy bukkake : but I'm not convincing enough apparently.
(And allow me to clarify that I've never actually had this life experience, except in fantasy form, although not for my lack of trying.)
Comments by Poppy
Poppy, I don't doubt that it's in your fantasy file. I watched your 50 things video that Adam drew for. 3 is a messy crowd.
Comments by Clown
Clown - What can I say? I enjoy messes. And cleaning them up.
And my 50 things were 100% true.
Comments by Poppy
TMP, I'm sure you've had that happen.
Miss Misery, it's not hard. You can do it. You should have a cool Gravatar!
Poppy, can you cook latkes? Because I can't.
Denise, thanks!
Clown, who doesn't love bukkake?
Comments by Avitable
Yes, I can cook you latkes. Do you prefer them crunchy crunchy or just lightly cooked on either side? I need to start writing down all this food I need to cook you... Oh, and did you want me to use the jizz as a topper? Or...?
Comments by Poppy