I'm tired and don't have any good posts left in me. I thought I had a post stuck inside, but I can't find it, so I'll just have to be lazy.
Here are the most recent keywords that people used to find this site:
- sex milk shake
- "stranger than fiction" blogography
- naked jap
- bukkake interview
- pre teen hairless vagina
- avitable
- Vulcan Penis
- stephanie britt naked
- "Pork, Beef, or Chicken" sex
- tell + prank + jog
- jewish american princess video
- Anthony Avitable
- shit mistress
- wife wearing panties
- pussies
- how can i tell if my wife is being managed by a pimp
- avril lavigne +avi
- my wife strapped on a dildo and penetrated my ass
- donkey porn
- AVITABLE
- how to shave your penis video
- how to sell your wife into white slavery
I'm seeing a theme here. Maybe I should start moving towards a wholesome family blog where I give tips on building things and raising puppies.
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"Shit Mistress" was all me. Sorry.
Comments by Dave2
how to shave your penis video
wtf
like the shaft?
weirdness
Comments by bluepaintred
Maybe you need a blog post enema.
Comments by Kentucky Girl
Oooh, maybe my "how to shave your pussy" can get together with your "how to shave your penis" later on!
Comments by Hilly
Ah, the shit mistresses...they make life worth living!
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Sounds like you have some inspiration for future posts!
Comments by Denise
Don't worry, when I tried "local+MILFS+over+70" you weren't in the results.
Comments by RW
Dave, I knew it! Someday I hope you can find your shit mistress.
BPR, I don't know. I'm not the one who searched it. Maybe they just meant the area around it.
KG, what do you mean?
Hilly, it's like keyword blind date!
Mr. Fabulous, I don't even know how the riff-raff live without one.
Denise, yeah, I'm not seeing enough search phrases with "ejaculation", "anal sex", or "dirty sanchez", so I'd better get writing.
RW, those are called GILFs.
Comments by Avitable
That would be a mistake. If you make this blog wholesome I will cry for 10 days straight then die of heartbreak.
(And I didn't even have caffeine yet...)
Comments by Poppy
I swear the donkey porn search wasn't me...no really.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
"stephanie britt naked"
I think you made that one up. I keep telling you Avi. Not. gonna. happen!
Comments by Miss Britt
Not at my age.
Comments by RW
Please post something about vegetarian or vegan sex.
Comments by Mist 1
by the way. if you did a series on puppy raising i would read it. I need to learn puppy 101, and very soon
Comments by bluepaintred
Mist - I actually found a video over at pornotube.com about a woman having sex with a plant! Oh, you didn't say vegetable sex, you said vegetarian/vegan sex. Hmm.
Comments by Poppy
How do you think I get here everyday? I type in crazy shit in google and WA LA!
Comments by themuttprincess
Someone found me recently with 'homemade ass cake'.
My parents are SO proud.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Poppy, could you ever see me making it wholesome?
Mistress Yoda, I did see "bagel dick" as a search result. That was you.
Britt, someday. Some. Day.
RW, even if the "F" stands for "Fondle"?
Mist, my wife is a vegetarian.
BPR, buy a book! Our dog is perfect and we found some good puppy raising books.
TMP, I knew it!
Tracy, wow, that's a good one!
Comments by Avitable
Damn...I need to keep that under cover better.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
No, and that's the way (uh huh uh huh) I like it.
(I haven't been fisted lately, thanks for that!)
Comments by Poppy
To be honest I feel the "AVITABLE" one is most surprising... but maybe that's just me...
Comments by DutchBitch
I don't get it... where is the "snake fucker" term??? I hit that one myself a few times.
Comments by NYC Watchdog
Wow.
You know, I've had some pretty screwed up search terms that have brought people to my little Donna Reed heaven. No, really, I have. But, I blame you.
Comments by Amy
The multiple wife related searches amuse me the most.
Comments by Clown
Mistress Yoda, your bagel porn fetish is widely known. Might as well accept it.
Poppy, sigh. That fisting post has had long-lasting repercussions, eh?
DB, yeah. Who's going to actually search for me? Wouldn't they already know my URL?
NYCWD, that was only the last few searches from the last day.
Amy, blame me? You're just as twisted and perverted.
Clown, yeah, I wonder if I should tell her about those.
Comments by Avitable
Guilty.
Comments by themuttprincess
What's a shit mistress?
Comments by Dragon
how can i tell if my wife is being managed by a pimp
Are wives REALLY ever "managed"?
Comments by Tug
and NO threesomes? Seriously?
Comments by Tug
Tug - We are soooo totally having a threesome once Avi is trained up as a man-whore.
Comments by Poppy
OMG you two!! lol Amy (adam's Amy, not AmyD) is so totally going to hunt you both down and kill you when she reads these! LOL
Although, she is all about peace and love and not eating/harming/killing living things. So... maybe she'll just spank you both.
Comments by Miss Britt
Britt - Spankings are good...
and there's always room for more!
And Poppy - is there a boot camp to train men up to be man-whores?
Comments by Tug
Just because I had a few incidents with lox doesn't mean I have a problem.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
A very good question, Tug. I guess Molly will find out when she starts training the fleet!
Comments by Poppy
(where the hell is the laugh so hard you pee yourself smiley?!?!)
Nah, she's a good girl. (and this is where I have to stop before I launch back into my ode to how freaking wonderful and omg he so doesn't deserve her speech!)
Comments by Miss Britt
So Britt, what you're saying is opposites do attract?
Comments by Tug
oh, & Avi - you're getting the call-out for new smilies...you hearing this??
Comments by Tug
Yeah, I think opposites do attract. I mean - they seem to be alot alike in alot of ways too. But she's like... I dunno... just this stunning, confident, beautiful woman who totally worships the ground he walks on.
and yet, in a no nonsense don't take no shit from nobody kind of way
You'd think she'd be all sweet and innocent - but that chic don't mess around either. ya know?
Comments by Miss Britt
Wait, who invited Avi's wife to the man-whore party?!? She can watch and she can spank but she will severely hinder his ability to learn the proper ways of whoring if she participates...
Comments by Poppy
Britt, don't forget that he totally worships the ground she walks on too. Reciprocal.
Comments by Poppy
Britt - Without really knowing EITHER of them...I couldn't really picture Avi's wife any different. Just seems like a 'fit' I guess - nice.
Poppy - ALL are welcome...we'll blindfold him & stick a nose plug on - he'll never know it's her that's there.......
Comments by Tug
Good call with the nose plug!
Comments by Poppy
Those are so funny! I get a lot looking for the 666 receipt...but I actually DO have it! LOL
Thanks for the chuckles!
Comments by Marti
"avril lavigne +avi"
THAT WAS YOU! ADMIT IT!!
Comments by webmiztris
TMP, now that I caught you, what do I do with you?
Dragon, it's like the nice jewelry stores. If you have to ask . . .
Tug, Britt and Poppy, I do adore Amy, but I have to pay her to stay as my wife. She tries to leave every night, but I have to drug her. Maybe if I became a man-whore, I could afford the better drugs that wouldn't make her drool so much.
Marti, no problem. I'll have to go read about this receipt now.
Dawn, just because I dream it doesn't mean I'd search for it!
Comments by Avitable
So you pay her and drug her? Is the drugging just a bonus?
Comments by Poppy
Blindfolds, nose plugs, drugs & drool. I'm not sure what kind of party this is anymore, but sounds like fun!
Comments by Tug
Hmm, this is starting to get to be a little too much even for me. Mind if I just watch the first round? (JUST KIDDING!
)
Comments by Poppy
"my wife strapped on a dildo and penetrated my ass"? Did I miss a post somewhere? I don't recall reading about that.
Comments by heather
Haha...remember that post you did about Mary looks like a hairy vagina or something? Well, you told me that it was probably so shocking to me because now a days teens keep their vaginas hairless because it's in, so "pre teen hairless vagina" came from that comment! haha
Comments by Miss Misery
Poppy, you had me at
Comments by Tug
And you had me at Poppy.
Comments by Poppy
Comments by Tug
Heather, yeah, I don't remember posting that either.
Miss Misery, yeah, good call. I was wondering about that, because while I am a pervert, I'm not that horrible.
Comments by Avitable
Vulcan penis.
Sounds like a punk band!
(is it wrong I 
this smiley?)
Comments by Heartless Lass
if you actually have a video guide on how to shave your penis, i'd love to see it.
Comments by Crys!
oh, woohoo, and i'm in Prague!
Comments by Crys!
Heartless Lass, I was thinking it sounded like a British delicacy. And that smiley is my favorite. It's hilarious.
Crystal, unfortunately, I don't. Have fun in Prague! Don't bounce any "Czechs", okay?
Comments by Avitable
I guess the punishment is up to you.
Comments by themuttprincess
A little bit of
and then some 
followed by 
, 
, and 
Comments by Avitable
Opps the donkey porn might have been my fault.
So what do you use to find out what keywords people use to find you?
Comments by Fogspinner
I think Vulcan Penis was my favorite. I'm actually kind of exited about it. Maybe a little, yeah.
I wrote a post a while back about the search criteria people use to get to my blog. It's terrifying.
Comments by Lady Dreadnought
Behold, link:
http://angelasashtray.blogspot.com/2007/01/perverts-dig-me.html
Comments by Lady Dreadnought
Fogspinner, I use Shortstats, a WP plug-in.
Lady Dreadnought, so you like Vulcan Penis, do ya?
Comments by Avitable
Fuck yeah. Any sort of greco-roman mythological penis is just right by me.
Comments by Lady Dreadnought
What about a penis owned by a pointy eared alien devoid of emotion?
Comments by Avitable
Spock cock? No. Leonard Nemoy cock? You betcher ass, pal.
Comments by Lady Dreadnought
The thought of a naked Leonard Nimoy just creeps me out.
Comments by Avitable
Oh, you of weak stomach and gentle constitution.
I had such a crush on the Streetcar Marlon Brando that I would have actually fucked the Godfather Marlon Brando.
My college roommate failed to fuck Newt Gingrich when she had the chance. Unforgivable.
http://angelasashtray.blogspot.com/2006/11/bullet-dodged.html
Comments by Lady Dreadnought
Wow, y'all are a big bunch of whores.
I love it!
Comments by Avitable