How do people find Avitable?

I’m tired and don’t have any good posts left in me. I thought I had a post stuck inside, but I can’t find it, so I’ll just have to be lazy.

Here are the most recent keywords that people used to find this site:

  • sex milk shake
  • “stranger than fiction” blogography
  • naked jap
  • bukkake interview
  • pre teen hairless vagina
  • avitable
  • Vulcan Penis
  • stephanie britt naked
  • “Pork, Beef, or Chicken” sex
  • tell + prank + jog
  • jewish american princess video
  • Anthony Avitable
  • shit mistress
  • wife wearing panties
  • pussies
  • how can i tell if my wife is being managed by a pimp
  • avril lavigne +avi
  • my wife strapped on a dildo and penetrated my ass
  • donkey porn
  • AVITABLE
  • how to shave your penis video
  • how to sell your wife into white slavery

I’m seeing a theme here. Maybe I should start moving towards a wholesome family blog where I give tips on building things and raising puppies.

Enjoy this post? Try these:
The Fun Police
The unfunnies
BlogHer 09 – If you could ask a man anything . . .
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70 Responses to How do people find Avitable?

  1. Dave2
    Twitter:
    says:

    “Shit Mistress” was all me. Sorry.

    Reply

  2. bluepaintred says:

    :jerkoff2:

    how to shave your penis video

    wtf

    like the shaft?

    weirdness

    Reply

  3. Maybe you need a blog post enema.

    Reply

  4. Hilly says:

    Oooh, maybe my “how to shave your pussy” can get together with your “how to shave your penis” later on!

    Reply

  5. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Ah, the shit mistresses…they make life worth living!

    Reply

  6. Denise says:

    Sounds like you have some inspiration for future posts! :clap:

    Reply

  7. RW says:

    Don’t worry, when I tried “local+MILFS+over+70″ you weren’t in the results.

    Reply

  8. Avitable says:

    Dave, I knew it! Someday I hope you can find your shit mistress.

    BPR, I don’t know. I’m not the one who searched it. Maybe they just meant the area around it.

    KG, what do you mean?

    Hilly, it’s like keyword blind date!

    Mr. Fabulous, I don’t even know how the riff-raff live without one.

    Denise, yeah, I’m not seeing enough search phrases with “ejaculation”, “anal sex”, or “dirty sanchez”, so I’d better get writing.

    RW, those are called GILFs.

    Reply

  9. Poppy says:

    That would be a mistake. If you make this blog wholesome I will cry for 10 days straight then die of heartbreak.

    (And I didn’t even have caffeine yet…)

    Reply

  10. Mistress Yoda
    Twitter:
    says:

    I swear the donkey porn search wasn’t me…no really.

    Reply

  11. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    “stephanie britt naked”

    I think you made that one up. I keep telling you Avi. Not. gonna. happen!
    :angel:

    Reply

  12. Mist 1 says:

    Please post something about vegetarian or vegan sex.

    Reply

  13. bluepaintred says:

    by the way. if you did a series on puppy raising i would read it. I need to learn puppy 101, and very soon

    Reply

  14. Poppy says:

    Mist – I actually found a video over at pornotube.com about a woman having sex with a plant! Oh, you didn’t say vegetable sex, you said vegetarian/vegan sex. Hmm.

    Reply

  15. How do you think I get here everyday? I type in crazy shit in google and WA LA!

    Reply

  16. Tracy Lynn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Someone found me recently with ‘homemade ass cake’.
    My parents are SO proud.

    Reply

  17. Avitable says:

    Poppy, could you ever see me making it wholesome?

    Mistress Yoda, I did see “bagel dick” as a search result. That was you.

    Britt, someday. Some. Day.

    RW, even if the “F” stands for “Fondle”?

    Mist, my wife is a vegetarian.

    BPR, buy a book! Our dog is perfect and we found some good puppy raising books.

    TMP, I knew it!

    Tracy, wow, that’s a good one!

    Reply

  18. Mistress Yoda
    Twitter:
    says:

    Damn…I need to keep that under cover better.

    Reply

  19. Poppy says:

    No, and that’s the way (uh huh uh huh) I like it. :fisting:

    (I haven’t been fisted lately, thanks for that!)

    Reply

  20. DutchBitch says:

    To be honest I feel the “AVITABLE” one is most surprising… but maybe that’s just me…

    Reply

  21. NYC Watchdog
    Twitter:
    says:

    I don’t get it… where is the “snake fucker” term??? I hit that one myself a few times.

    Reply

  22. Amy says:

    Wow.

    You know, I’ve had some pretty screwed up search terms that have brought people to my little Donna Reed heaven. No, really, I have. But, I blame you.

    Reply

  23. Clown says:

    The multiple wife related searches amuse me the most.

    Reply

  24. Avitable says:

    Mistress Yoda, your bagel porn fetish is widely known. Might as well accept it.

    Poppy, sigh. That fisting post has had long-lasting repercussions, eh?

    DB, yeah. Who’s going to actually search for me? Wouldn’t they already know my URL?

    NYCWD, that was only the last few searches from the last day.

    Amy, blame me? You’re just as twisted and perverted.

    Clown, yeah, I wonder if I should tell her about those.

    Reply

  25. Dragon says:

    What’s a shit mistress?

    Reply

  26. Tug says:

    how can i tell if my wife is being managed by a pimp

    Are wives REALLY ever “managed”? :crazywife:

    Reply

  27. Tug says:

    and NO threesomes? Seriously? :3some:

    Reply

  28. Poppy says:

    Tug – We are soooo totally having a threesome once Avi is trained up as a man-whore. :woohoo:

    Reply

  29. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    OMG you two!! lol Amy (adam’s Amy, not AmyD) is so totally going to hunt you both down and kill you when she reads these! LOL

    :violent018:

    Although, she is all about peace and love and not eating/harming/killing living things. So… maybe she’ll just spank you both. :sex007:
    :lmao:

    Reply

  30. Tug says:

    Britt – Spankings are good… :boobs4: and there’s always room for more!

    And Poppy – is there a boot camp to train men up to be man-whores? :deadhorse:

    Reply

  31. Mistress Yoda
    Twitter:
    says:

    Just because I had a few incidents with lox doesn’t mean I have a problem.

    Reply

  32. Poppy says:

    A very good question, Tug. I guess Molly will find out when she starts training the fleet!

    Reply

  33. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Oh dear God. Amy in a three, no wait, foursome! :lmao: :lmao:

    (where the hell is the laugh so hard you pee yourself smiley?!?!)

    Nah, she’s a good girl. (and this is where I have to stop before I launch back into my ode to how freaking wonderful and omg he so doesn’t deserve her speech!)

    Reply

  34. Tug says:

    So Britt, what you’re saying is opposites do attract? :clap:

    Reply

  35. Tug says:

    oh, & Avi – you’re getting the call-out for new smilies…you hearing this??

    Reply

  36. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    Yeah, I think opposites do attract. I mean – they seem to be alot alike in alot of ways too. But she’s like… I dunno… just this stunning, confident, beautiful woman who totally worships the ground he walks on.

    and yet, in a no nonsense don’t take no shit from nobody kind of way

    You’d think she’d be all sweet and innocent – but that chic don’t mess around either. ya know?

    Reply

  37. Poppy says:

    Wait, who invited Avi’s wife to the man-whore party?!? She can watch and she can spank but she will severely hinder his ability to learn the proper ways of whoring if she participates…

    Reply

  38. Poppy says:

    Britt, don’t forget that he totally worships the ground she walks on too. Reciprocal.

    Reply

  39. Tug says:

    Britt – Without really knowing EITHER of them…I couldn’t really picture Avi’s wife any different. Just seems like a ‘fit’ I guess – nice.

    Poppy – ALL are welcome…we’ll blindfold him & stick a nose plug on – he’ll never know it’s her that’s there……. :sex014:

    Reply

  40. Poppy says:

    Good call with the nose plug!

    Reply

  41. Marti says:

    Those are so funny! I get a lot looking for the 666 receipt…but I actually DO have it! LOL

    Thanks for the chuckles!

    Reply

  42. webmiztris says:

    “avril lavigne +avi”

    THAT WAS YOU! ADMIT IT!!

    :jerkoff2:

    Reply

  43. Avitable says:

    TMP, now that I caught you, what do I do with you?

    Dragon, it’s like the nice jewelry stores. If you have to ask . . .

    Tug, Britt and Poppy, I do adore Amy, but I have to pay her to stay as my wife. She tries to leave every night, but I have to drug her. Maybe if I became a man-whore, I could afford the better drugs that wouldn’t make her drool so much.

    Marti, no problem. I’ll have to go read about this receipt now.

    Dawn, just because I dream it doesn’t mean I’d search for it!

    Reply

  44. Poppy says:

    So you pay her and drug her? Is the drugging just a bonus? :3some:

    Reply

  45. Tug says:

    Blindfolds, nose plugs, drugs & drool. I’m not sure what kind of party this is anymore, but sounds like fun! :thumbsup: :martini:

    Reply

  46. Poppy says:

    Hmm, this is starting to get to be a little too much even for me. Mind if I just watch the first round? (JUST KIDDING! :martini: :heartbeat: :martini: :heartbeat: :cocksuck2: :sex007: :sex011: :3some: :bukkake: :sex023: :sex014: :assshake: )

    Reply

  47. heather says:

    “my wife strapped on a dildo and penetrated my ass”? Did I miss a post somewhere? I don’t recall reading about that. :assshake:

    Reply

  48. Miss Misery says:

    Haha…remember that post you did about Mary looks like a hairy vagina or something? Well, you told me that it was probably so shocking to me because now a days teens keep their vaginas hairless because it’s in, so “pre teen hairless vagina” came from that comment! haha

    Reply

  49. Tug says:

    Poppy, you had me at :martini: :heartbeat: :sex023:

    Reply

  50. Poppy says:

    And you had me at Poppy. :sexytime:

    Reply

  51. Avitable says:

    Heather, yeah, I don’t remember posting that either.

    Miss Misery, yeah, good call. I was wondering about that, because while I am a pervert, I’m not that horrible.

    Reply

  52. Vulcan penis.

    Sounds like a punk band! :boobs3: (is it wrong I :heartbeat: this smiley?)

    Reply

  53. Crys! says:

    if you actually have a video guide on how to shave your penis, i’d love to see it.
    :sexytime:

    Reply

  54. Crys! says:

    oh, woohoo, and i’m in Prague!

    Reply

  55. Avitable says:

    Heartless Lass, I was thinking it sounded like a British delicacy. And that smiley is my favorite. It’s hilarious.

    Crystal, unfortunately, I don’t. Have fun in Prague! Don’t bounce any “Czechs”, okay?

    Reply

  56. I guess the punishment is up to you.

    Reply

  57. Avitable says:

    A little bit of :sex007: and then some :sex014: followed by :boobs2: , :sex003: , and :bukkake:

    Reply

  58. Fogspinner says:

    Opps the donkey porn might have been my fault. :P

    So what do you use to find out what keywords people use to find you?

    Reply

  59. I think Vulcan Penis was my favorite. I’m actually kind of exited about it. Maybe a little, yeah.

    I wrote a post a while back about the search criteria people use to get to my blog. It’s terrifying.

    Reply

  60. Avitable says:

    Fogspinner, I use Shortstats, a WP plug-in.

    Lady Dreadnought, so you like Vulcan Penis, do ya?

    Reply

  61. Fuck yeah. Any sort of greco-roman mythological penis is just right by me.

    Reply

  62. Avitable says:

    What about a penis owned by a pointy eared alien devoid of emotion?

    Reply

  63. Spock cock? No. Leonard Nemoy cock? You betcher ass, pal.

    Reply

  64. Avitable says:

    The thought of a naked Leonard Nimoy just creeps me out.

    Reply

  65. Oh, you of weak stomach and gentle constitution.

    I had such a crush on the Streetcar Marlon Brando that I would have actually fucked the Godfather Marlon Brando.

    My college roommate failed to fuck Newt Gingrich when she had the chance. Unforgivable.
    http://angelasashtray.blogspot.com/2006/11/bullet-dodged.html

    Reply

  66. Avitable says:

    Wow, y’all are a big bunch of whores.

    I love it! :jerkoff2:

    Reply

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