Googling Avitable

 

Yesterday's post about keywords got me thinking about search engines at the same time that I ran across this meme, so I figured I'd just give it a shot. Avitable is going to give varied answers, so if there weren't enough answers, I substituted Avi.

1. Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
a) Avitable needs a few extra Z's when describing his dancing skillzz.
b) Avitable needs answers if you want to join.
c) Avitable needs a little validation once in a while.

2. Type in "[your name] is" in the Google search:
a) Avitable is too damn funny.
b) Avitable is owned by Avitable.
c) Avitable is just one of the guys.
d) Avitable is . . . (this one is my favorite)

3. Type in "[your name] likes" in the Google search:
a) Avitable likes Avitable.
b) Avitable likes getting hit.
c) Avitable likes it though!

4. Type in "[your name] wants" in the Google search:
a) Avitable wants to know how you'd describe him or her.
b) Avitable wants you to play with Dave's monkey
c) Avitable wants to claim he's glitterier.

5. Type in "[your name] gets" in the Google search: (note: these were very dirty. I chose carefully.)
a) Avitable gets my vote for dancing.
b) Avitable gets all the computers in my house.
c) Avitable gets my vote because I was under the impression it was not a singing contest but rather a dance contest.
d) Avitable gets cited in a law review article.

6. Type in "[your name] says" in the Google search:
a) Avitable says: "Well they were able to keep their boat and car in her vagina."
b) Avitable says: "Awwww.... such a cute whore."
c) Avitable says: "Well, Wal-mart makes me not like most Christians."
d) Avitable says tact is for pussies and that's enough for him to get a ten star review from me!

7. Type in "[your name] does" in the Google search:
a) Avitable does it again.
b) Avitable does it so perfectly.
c) It's NSFW unless you work for a gay magazine or at home like Avitable does.
d) Avitable does everything for Vassar and he deserves the recognition. (no idea which Avitable this is)

8. Type in "[your name] eats" in the Google search:
a) Avitable eats shit.
b) Avi eats three hamburgers easily.
c) Avi eats raw meat such as chicken, beef stew meat, quail . . .

If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!

32 comments

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  1.  

    Um.. Do I have to play with Dave's monkey? jerkoff2 Couldn't we just talk instead?

    Comments by Kelly

    comment by Kelly Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 8:31 am

     

  2.  

    Hmmm...
    avitable is confirmed as a member of the order of the breakfast club says Googlism.

    They seem to have insider info, I reckon.

    Comments by franky

    comment by franky Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 8:46 am

     

  3.  

    I have a sneaking suspicion 2 out of 3 of those "avitable says" came from my blog. crazywife

    Comments by Miss Britt

    comment by Miss Britt Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 9:23 am

     

  4.  

    Well I must say you ARE glitterier.

    Comments by Mistress Yoda

    comment by Mistress Yoda Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 9:45 am

     

  5.  

    Avitable gets my vote because I was under the impression it was not a singing contest but rather a dance contest.

    liquid!

    Comments by Clown

    comment by Clown Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 9:49 am

     

  6.  

    I think I'm going to steal this...just because I have nothing better to talk about today.

    Comments by Miss Misery

    comment by Miss Misery Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 10:14 am

     

  7.  

    Avitable is.......

    'nuff said. I've got to try this one. heartbeat

    Comments by Tug

    comment by Tug Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 10:26 am

     

  8.  

    Clown, is that the opposite of solid?

    And I agree with Tug. You had me at "Avitable is". You are everything. heartbeat boobs1

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 10:50 am

     

  9.  

    Kelly, Dave's monkey is awesome.

    Franky, how did they know?

    Britt, you would be correct!

    Mistress Yoda, yes, I am. I'm the glitteriest.

    Clown, you are correct, sir.

    Miss Misery, c'mon. You must have some complaining about someone to do.

    Tug, it's an existential statement. Avitable Is.

    Poppy, I'm bouncing boobs?

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 10:58 am

     

  10.  

    Do I have to spell everything out for you? I'm bouncing MY boobs AT you. Silly. And now I'm shakin' my ass: assshake

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 11:14 am

     

  11.  

    Really? This is what you have come to? Really???

    Wow.

    You must seriously be tapped out. batting

    Comments by Amy

    comment by Amy Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 11:40 am

     

  12.  

    Another good one is "[your name} was arrested" although avitable has none, avi has one, so you would have to use Adam or Heath for multiples

    i got only one for this one: Julianne was arrested for the attempted murder of her love-triangle nemesis...so watch out bitches!

    Comments by Julianne

    comment by Julianne Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 11:41 am

     

  13.  

    I have always considered you the glitteriest of them all, Avitable. thumbsup

    Comments by Tracy Lynn

    comment by Tracy Lynn Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 11:46 am

     

  14.  

    do you eat your raw chicken with chocolate syrup too, avi??

    Comments by Webmiztris

    comment by Webmiztris Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 11:49 am

     

  15.  

    Poppy, I see now. I must be blind!

    Amy, fuck. You. Whore.

    Julianne, very nice. I see you stole this for your blog and gave me credit.

    Tracy, thanks! I like being glittery.

    Dawn, how'd you guess?

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 12:57 pm

     

  16.  

    deadhorse

    Really? Cuz, come on, I can't be the ONLY one to have noticed that you aren't living up to your usual standards. I'm sure more people than just little ol' me expect more from your particular type of evil genius.

    angel

    Comments by Amy

    comment by Amy Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 1:02 pm

     

  17.  

    Must be all that masturbating... jerkoff2 P

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 1:10 pm

     

  18.  

    i fixed it! credit-whore lol tongue1

    Comments by Julianne

    comment by Julianne Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 1:12 pm

     

  19.  

    Amy, violent018

    Poppy, well, I do have hairy palms.

    Julianne, I am a credit whore! And from what I just read, you're the one doing the tongue1

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 1:38 pm

     

  20.  

    "Avitable likes getting hit.", eh? Hmmmm, does that include a good spanking once in a while. sex007 batting

    Comments by Dragon

    comment by Dragon Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 1:46 pm

     

  21.  

    Number five reminded me again about that goddam dance contest.

    One day...one day...we will have a rematch.

    Comments by Mr. Fabulous

    comment by Mr. Fabulous Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 1:47 pm

     

  22.  

    Dragon, or just racked in the balls.

    Mr. Fabulous, it's okay. You're older and can't keep up. Nobody will hold it against you.

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 3:52 pm

     

  23.  

    Am I supposed to enter your name or mine? Cuz when I enter your name I get one thing, but if I put in "RW needs" I get WORK or I need to be CLOSED or something.

    oh ha ha ha ha ha.

    Pleh...

    Comments by RW

    comment by RW Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 4:10 pm

     

  24.  

    I am so stealing this. clap

    Comments by heather

    comment by heather Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 5:52 pm

     

  25.  

    RW, pleh is right.

    Heather, it's all yours!

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 6:00 pm

     

  26.  

    Wow, this didn't even inspire rampant pronography... shit

    Comments by Miss Britt

    comment by Miss Britt Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 7:43 pm

     

  27.  

    Damn work. Making me WORK. shit

    Comments by Tug

    comment by Tug Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 9:12 pm

     

  28.  

    and I'm leaving tomorrow for the weekend. Who's taking over my porn portion while I'm gone?

    Anyone? boobs5 jerkoff2 3some cocksuck2 sex011 assshake

    Comments by Tug

    comment by Tug Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 9:14 pm

     

  29.  

    WHAT?! YOU'RE LEAVING?! crying

    I'm gone a lot this weekend, too, although I always have time for porn. Maybe I'll just play with myself. boobs1

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 9:49 pm

     

  30.  

    Oooh yah, that sounds like an awesome idea! assshake sex023

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 9:50 pm

     

  31.  

    Poppy - Feel free to play away with yourself, but think of me...... boobs3

    I will be soccer grandma, so none of those thoughts for me - it's all about the kiddies!! clap thumbsup

    Comments by Tug

    comment by Tug Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 9:54 pm

     

  32.  

    How the fuck would she have a car AND a boat in her vagina? I don't have room for a whole car, let alone a boat too.

    Comments by Phishez

    comment by Phishez Saturday, April 28, 2007 @ 6:38 am

     

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