Googling Avitable

Yesterday’s post about keywords got me thinking about search engines at the same time that I ran across this meme, so I figured I’d just give it a shot. Avitable is going to give varied answers, so if there weren’t enough answers, I substituted Avi.

1. Type in “[your name] needs” in the Google search:
a) Avitable needs a few extra Z’s when describing his dancing skillzz.
b) Avitable needs answers if you want to join.
c) Avitable needs a little validation once in a while.

2. Type in “[your name] is” in the Google search:
a) Avitable is too damn funny.
b) Avitable is owned by Avitable.
c) Avitable is just one of the guys.
d) Avitable is . . . (this one is my favorite)

3. Type in “[your name] likes” in the Google search:
a) Avitable likes Avitable.
b) Avitable likes getting hit.
c) Avitable likes it though!

4. Type in “[your name] wants” in the Google search:
a) Avitable wants to know how you’d describe him or her.
b) Avitable wants you to play with Dave’s monkey
c) Avitable wants to claim he’s glitterier.

5. Type in “[your name] gets” in the Google search: (note: these were very dirty. I chose carefully.)
a) Avitable gets my vote for dancing.
b) Avitable gets all the computers in my house.
c) Avitable gets my vote because I was under the impression it was not a singing contest but rather a dance contest.
d) Avitable gets cited in a law review article.

6. Type in “[your name] says” in the Google search:
a) Avitable says: “Well they were able to keep their boat and car in her vagina.”
b) Avitable says: “Awwww…. such a cute whore.”
c) Avitable says: “Well, Wal-mart makes me not like most Christians.”
d) Avitable says tact is for pussies and that’s enough for him to get a ten star review from me!

7. Type in “[your name] does” in the Google search:
a) Avitable does it again.
b) Avitable does it so perfectly.
c) It’s NSFW unless you work for a gay magazine or at home like Avitable does.
d) Avitable does everything for Vassar and he deserves the recognition. (no idea which Avitable this is)

8. Type in “[your name] eats” in the Google search:
a) Avitable eats shit.
b) Avi eats three hamburgers easily.
c) Avi eats raw meat such as chicken, beef stew meat, quail . . .

Enjoy this post? Try these:
Google in China
Do the Wave. The Google Wave
It’s all relative
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32 Responses to Googling Avitable

  1. Kelly says:

    Um.. Do I have to play with Dave’s monkey? :jerkoff2: Couldn’t we just talk instead?

    Reply

  2. franky says:

    Hmmm…
    avitable is confirmed as a member of the order of the breakfast club says Googlism.

    They seem to have insider info, I reckon.

    Reply

  3. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    I have a sneaking suspicion 2 out of 3 of those “avitable says” came from my blog. :crazywife:

    Reply

  4. Mistress Yoda
    Twitter:
    says:

    Well I must say you ARE glitterier.

    Reply

  5. Clown says:

    Avitable gets my vote because I was under the impression it was not a singing contest but rather a dance contest.

    liquid!

    Reply

  6. Miss Misery says:

    I think I’m going to steal this…just because I have nothing better to talk about today.

    Reply

  7. Tug says:

    Avitable is…….

    ’nuff said. I’ve got to try this one. :heartbeat:

    Reply

  8. Poppy says:

    Clown, is that the opposite of solid?

    And I agree with Tug. You had me at “Avitable is”. You are everything. :heartbeat: :boobs1:

    Reply

  9. Avitable says:

    Kelly, Dave’s monkey is awesome.

    Franky, how did they know?

    Britt, you would be correct!

    Mistress Yoda, yes, I am. I’m the glitteriest.

    Clown, you are correct, sir.

    Miss Misery, c’mon. You must have some complaining about someone to do.

    Tug, it’s an existential statement. Avitable Is.

    Poppy, I’m bouncing boobs?

    Reply

  10. Poppy says:

    Do I have to spell everything out for you? I’m bouncing MY boobs AT you. Silly. And now I’m shakin’ my ass: :assshake:

    Reply

  11. Amy says:

    Really? This is what you have come to? Really???

    Wow.

    You must seriously be tapped out. :batting:

    Reply

  12. Julianne says:

    Another good one is “[your name} was arrested” although avitable has none, avi has one, so you would have to use Adam or Heath for multiples

    i got only one for this one: Julianne was arrested for the attempted murder of her love-triangle nemesis…so watch out bitches!

    Reply

  13. Tracy Lynn
    Twitter:
    says:

    I have always considered you the glitteriest of them all, Avitable. :thumbsup:

    Reply

  14. Webmiztris says:

    do you eat your raw chicken with chocolate syrup too, avi??

    Reply

  15. Avitable says:

    Poppy, I see now. I must be blind!

    Amy, fuck. You. Whore.

    Julianne, very nice. I see you stole this for your blog and gave me credit.

    Tracy, thanks! I like being glittery.

    Dawn, how’d you guess?

    Reply

  16. Amy says:

    :deadhorse:

    Really? Cuz, come on, I can’t be the ONLY one to have noticed that you aren’t living up to your usual standards. I’m sure more people than just little ol’ me expect more from your particular type of evil genius.

    :angel:

    Reply

  17. Poppy says:

    Must be all that masturbating… :jerkoff2: :P

    Reply

  18. Julianne says:

    i fixed it! credit-whore lol :tongue1:

    Reply

  19. Avitable says:

    Amy, :violent018:

    Poppy, well, I do have hairy palms.

    Julianne, I am a credit whore! And from what I just read, you’re the one doing the :tongue1:

    Reply

  20. Dragon says:

    “Avitable likes getting hit.”, eh? Hmmmm, does that include a good spanking once in a while. :sex007: :batting:

    Reply

  21. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Number five reminded me again about that goddam dance contest.

    One day…one day…we will have a rematch.

    Reply

  22. Avitable says:

    Dragon, or just racked in the balls.

    Mr. Fabulous, it’s okay. You’re older and can’t keep up. Nobody will hold it against you.

    Reply

  23. RW says:

    Am I supposed to enter your name or mine? Cuz when I enter your name I get one thing, but if I put in “RW needs” I get WORK or I need to be CLOSED or something.

    oh ha ha ha ha ha.

    Pleh…

    Reply

  24. heather says:

    I am so stealing this. :clap:

    Reply

  25. Avitable says:

    RW, pleh is right.

    Heather, it’s all yours!

    Reply

  26. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    Wow, this didn’t even inspire rampant pronography… :shit:

    Reply

  27. Tug says:

    Damn work. Making me WORK. :shit:

    Reply

  28. Tug says:

    and I’m leaving tomorrow for the weekend. Who’s taking over my porn portion while I’m gone?

    Anyone? :boobs5: :jerkoff2: :3some: :cocksuck2: :sex011: :assshake:

    Reply

  29. Poppy says:

    WHAT?! YOU’RE LEAVING?! :crying:

    I’m gone a lot this weekend, too, although I always have time for porn. Maybe I’ll just play with myself. :boobs1:

    Reply

  30. Poppy says:

    Oooh yah, that sounds like an awesome idea! :assshake: :sex023:

    Reply

  31. Tug says:

    Poppy – Feel free to play away with yourself, but think of me…… :boobs3:

    I will be soccer grandma, so none of those thoughts for me – it’s all about the kiddies!! :clap: :thumbsup:

    Reply

  32. Phishez says:

    How the fuck would she have a car AND a boat in her vagina? I don’t have room for a whole car, let alone a boat too.

    Reply

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