In addition to my video post, go behind the curtain to see a meme that I got tagged with at Tracy’s:
A – Attached or Single? If my wife is reading this, I’m attached, but if you’re a young gay Latino male, call me!
B – Best Friend: My wife. After her, there’s a long line of people I consider to be the best.
C – Cake or Pie: If I was allowed to, I would eat birthday cake for every meal.
D – Drink of Choice: Diet Coke. It’s literally all I drink. That’s not an exaggeration or an oversimplification. I don’t drink water or juice – all I drink is Diet Coke.
E – Essential Item: I always have to have at least one pack of gum with me, and sometimes I need backups.
F – Favorite Color: Black.
G – Gummi Bears or Worms? Fuck that. Chocolate, please.
H – Hometown: Born in Braintree, MA. Raised in Daytona Beach, FL. Killed a man in El Paso, TX. Became a whore in Los Angeles, CA.
I – Indulgence: Group sex with 16-year old Catholic high school girls.
J – January or February: I was born in January. It is indeed the holiest month of all.
K – Kids: I like my life the way it is, thank you very much. Why would I ruin it by adding another mouth to feed?
L – Life is incomplete without: A good book and a Thai hooker.
M – Marriage Date: October 13, 2001
N – Number of Siblings: One brother and one sister. They both have horrible jobs for an evil boss. Serves ‘em right.
O – Oranges or Apples? I prefer melons. Bazongas. Chest puppies.
P – Phobias/Fears: Heights make me nervous, and I don’t enjoy being in a confined space, but I’m not really afraid of anything.
Q – Favorite Quote: “Morality is not respectability.” –George Bernard Shaw
R – Reasons to smile: Who needs a reason?
S – Season: I stay inside. Doesn’t matter to me.
T- Tag Three: If you’d like to do it, feel free. I won’t torture you.
U – Unknown Fact About Me: My life is a carefully constructed theater of art.
V – Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? I support the protection of vegetables from those evil vegetarians.
W – Worst Habit: I love all of my habits equally.
X – X-rays or Ultrasounds? Which one will give me superpowers?
Y – Your Favorite Foods: All I eat is beef, cheese, bread, and potatoes. And cake.
Z- Zodiac: Aquarius. The whole concept is a bunch of horseshit anyways.
Hiatus
Avitable Love Fest: 20 Things I Want You To Hear
Avitable’s rules for life
Yeah, the compressed air in the eye…? I probably would of thought about that a little more before doing it.
Reply
Glad it wasn’t fly spray or something a bit more potent, and never turn those air cans upside down and spray yourself either you loon.
Hope you got the eyes sorted out before the party guests arrive.
Reply
Pingback: A Pile Of Dog Bones
Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
I’m not sure what amazes me more… the fact that you actually used the can’o'air or the fact it appears you are sober while doing it.
Reply
This is precisely why the major news media warns people about blogs; why get your news from “citizen journalists” when you can get it from their august and accredited broadcasts and publications?
Never saw Dan Rather blow his eyeball out, have ya!? No! And for good reason!
Reply
Thanks for the demonstration. I had been wondering how to use a spray bottle.
I know I am gonna be sorry I am missing the party.
Reply
Of all the talent I have come across this week at work you take first prize. Congrats. Now go flush out them eyes.
Reply
Yay! Your blog is back!
You are a nut. I love the ending.
Reply
Twitter: hismuse
says:
I’m on the cusp of Aquarius but I choose to believe I am a Pisces. Aquarians are just Piceans wannabes.
Reply
Sheila, to be honest, I sprayed mainly below my eyes and then just tried a tiny bit – it wasn’t a full force blast in my eyes because I thought it might be a bad idea.
Michael, yeah I have bad impulse control and no common sense. The eyes were fine ten minutes later after washing them out.
NYCWD, it seemed like a good idea at that moment.
RW, and that’s why the youth of America don’t know or care who Dan Rather is but know who Steve-O is.
Mr. Fabulous, you are going to be sorry – more hijinx will ensue!
Frankie, a little water later and I’m all set.
Denise, back? Was it down?
Mistress Yoda, fucking zodiac hoodoo.
Reply
Uh, yeah. I was unable to get to it for almost an hour.
And, Dawg, before you make a snide comment about my internet connection…I could get to ALL others blogs. :finger:
Reply
That’s strange. I was going to say something about your shitty internet, too. :poke:
Reply
Shut. Up. It’s not my fault that BFE has crappy internet service. It’s DSL…not dial up. How many times do I have to explain this to you people?????
Gah. :crazywife:
Reply
Yeah, must be some kinda slow-ass redneck DSL.
Reply
My site is all screwed up too. I have no clue whats going on. Joefish’s site is all screwy for me also. Its a conspiracy I tell ya.
Reply
Works fine for me – your site and Joe’s. Must be an epidemic of shitty Internet in BFE.
Reply
Weird All I get is my template and 404 not found. What the hell?
Reply
Weird I cleared my cookies and now I’m back. I wonder what the hell happened.
Reply
Yeah, it’s coming up fine for me. Could just be something with the company that hosts your site. It may have some problems between them and you.
Reply
ugh forget it theres a database error thats screwing everything up. Its there its not its there its not. Ugh wheres Joe when I need him?
Reply
Probably sleeping. Or :bukkake:
Reply
Twitter: tlkaply
says:
Dude. Really. :dunce: *snicker*
Reply
That was the funniest vlog I have ever seen. Or probably will ever see. Thank you for that.
I’m glad you’re okay.
Reply
good music? I’m not even going to go there…
your concentrated flatulence eliminator spray sounds delish, avi!! although I’m kind of surprised you didn’t have cheeseburger scented.
Reply
Tracy, it was late. I was tired.
Poppy, yeah, I’m fine.
Dawn, my wife chooses the music, not me. If they had cheeseburger scented, I’d try it, but I like the softer smells for the room.
Reply
Next time, try diluting a small amount of milk in water and give your eyes a bit of eye bath. It will take the edge off the sting.
Reply
That demonstration lacked two sprays.
Reply
Dragon, freezing my eyeballs with compressed air seemed like the best option.
Jordie, yeah, I’ll have to try again sometime.
Reply
I’m gonna steal this. Cause I know I’m gonna be exhausted later – considering we had soccer from 9 to 12:30, and next up is baseball from 4 to 6ish…
May sucks balls when it comes to having any free time that doesn’t involve sporting events!
Reply
I swear I kept waiting for you to do something goofy, like fake blood between your fingers or something.
So you ordered Fresh Lemonade? You will LOVE it!!! Tell me how the strawberry fields or whatever is – I almost got that one.
Reply
If they had the “Cheeseburger” scented, I’m sure you’d spray it in your mouth, instead of your eyes.
Reply
Steph, that’s why I’m so happy that I don’t have kids!
Amy, I ordered it because you told me to. I’ll skip around happily and spray it and giggle if it’s good.
Annie, good point. I would probably try that just to see how it tastes.
Reply
Twitter: missbritt
says:
U – Unknown Fact About Me: My life is a carefully constructed theater of art.
Anyone who doesn’t know this is fucking retarded.
I’m kind of disappointed in the vlog. I was really thinking the whole time that the punchline would be you groping around blindly and accidentally pulling a purple dildo on screen or something. Damn. THAT would have been funny.
Reply
Miss Britt, you really are a bitch. I know damn well that just like everybody else, when you were in his office he would have made you promise not to mention any of those sex toys.
Ooops, now it looks like I’m a bitch too.
Reply
Twitter: missbritt
says:
I was never asked to make any such promise. What I remember was a lot of muttering about “I can’t believe you’re not more shocked”. And some begging and pleading that sounded a lot like “if you’ve seen my sex toys I should totally see your boobs”.
But then, it’s entirely possible he doesn’t show the same sex toys to the girls as he does the boyfriends. So maybe that’s the difference.
Reply
Britt, maybe next time. Just for you.
Clown, damn you, you bastard. Those are only for our “special time”.
Britt, the way I remember it was a little different. You didn’t say much, though, because your mouth was full.
Reply
Tell me you were married on a Friday…
Reply
I’ve watched the video like ten times and I need to say this in your comments: Your nails are so pretty. I don’t believe that shit about fucked up cuticles. The nails are even shiny and uniformly cut! I can’t believe you’ll admit to enjoying these yummy scents you like to spray on your eyeballs but you won’t admit to having your nails done!!!
Reply
Aw. Too bad you blinded yourself. I totally flashed my boobies for you. You missed it. :boobs2:
Reply
HA! Thanks for the funny on the weekend!
Reply
DB, married on a Friday? I don’t get it.
Poppy, I don’t have my nails done and my nails are horrible!
Heather, I’ll just have to picture it in my head.
TMP, for you, anything. Tune in next week when I cut off my own finger! :woohoo:
Reply
You SOOO have your nails done. That is the first thing I noticed. Besides any man that buys that sorta air freshener gets his nails done. Its like…required or something. :jerkoff2:
Reply
*sigh*
Friday the …
:sex014:
Reply
Bri, I totally don’t! I would own up to it if I did.
DB, ahhhh. I see!
Reply
And Bri… Avi does his own nails… or so I’ve heard. He doesn’t trust anyone else with ‘m…
And he’s very carefull when he hás done ‘m… the other day he didn’t even want to get me his spare balls because “he was letting his nails dry”
:jerkoff2:
Reply
Yep. Maybe next time.
Reply
DB, my spare balls have already been claimed. Sigh.
Heather, :jerkoff2:
Reply
Avi – I had to post a comment for two reasons. The only thing I ever drink…ever….is Diet Coke. No water, no juice, no coffee, no tea, just Diet Coke.
2nd reason? This hot fucking smiley….
:assshake:
Reply
Lucy, glad to see a kindred spirit, and that ass is smokin’!
Reply