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My first time

I usually don’t write about serious things, but I’m in the mood. This is a post where I bare my heart and soul and talk about my first time.

It was right before I left for college. I had (along with some urging from my friends) decided that I needed to do the deed before starting my life as a college student and adult. An older friend of mine, Bryan, had recommended one particular establishment that he had used on numerous occasions. As I drove up to the building, my palms were sweating and I was quite nervous. I had only been in one bed, my entire life – mine! As you can imagine, it was with no small amount of trepidation that I entered the doors of the slightly dilapidated looking building which seemed out of place right in the middle of a strip mall.

Once I made it inside (it was very brightly lit and much cleaner and friendlier than I expected, given the facade), there was a young woman standing there, dressed very professionally. Sweating, I stammered out what I was looking for. She smiled very broadly and directed me to the back of the building, where there were several other people milling about. I looked around and immediately saw the one I wanted. It seemed so simple . . .


I sat on the edge of the mattress and looked up at the girl. She was younger than I expected, although I couldn’t imagine that they would hire anyone under 18. What did I know about this business, though?

“Okay, Adam, now I’m going to do a few things, and I want you to tell me how they feel and what you think. First, though, you need to relax. I do this every day, and I am an expert. Just lay back, close your eyes, and enjoy, okay?” She had a genuine smile on her face as she said this, and I’ll tell you – she was absolutely gorgeous. I wanted nothing more than to make her day, and I bet I wasn’t the first guy to walk in with that goal.

I laid back on the mattress, and closed my eyes. I’m good at following orders from beautiful women.

“Do you like how firm this is?” she asked, guiding my hand. The mattress squeaked.

“Yes. That’s very nice.”

“Now put your hands here. Can you feel how bouncy and smooth it is? Wouldn’t you want to be on top of this?”

“Oh yes.”

“And how does this feel, Adam?” She breathed into my ear as my nose caught the faint scent of lilac from her hair.

“My God! That’s fantastic!”

“And this?” The mattress squeaked some more.

“Wow, I am so glad I decided to do this! It never felt like this at home!”

Her giggle was infectious, and I could feel the moment coming. I was about to finish this transaction, if you will, and I couldn’t believe it was happening so quickly. A few more exchanges, a little more bouncing and thrusting and feeling, and it was done. I felt warm all over. The moment was past, and I immediately tensed up again. I might have imagined it, but I think I saw the pity in her eyes.

This was where it got awkward. Sitting up, I reached for my wallet. “Do I pay you, or how does this work? It’s my first time.” I blushed furiously.

“It’s okay, Adam,” she said, “I can always tell the ones who have never done this before. You don’t pay me – you pay over there.” She pointed to a man in a purple suit sitting in a large, overstuffed chair on a raised platform.

“Thank you, Sarah,” I said. “And what was your last name again?”

“Tsk, tsk, Adam,” she admonished. “You know that we’re not allowed to give you that information. However, if you ever want anything else – a double, one nightstand, a lazy boy special – just ask for me by name. I’ll take care of you, sweetie.” And with a gentle nudge, I began walking towards the man in purple, wallet in hand. With a glance over my shoulder, I realized that Sarah had already moved onto the next customer, and my innocence was forever shattered.

And that was the first time I ever bought a mattress from Rooms to Go.

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58 Replies to “My first time”

  1. Avitable

    Michael, got you? Why, whatever do you mean? 😀

    KG, am not!

    Angel, Sealy or Simmons?

    BPR, I don’t doubt that in any way – you were a little vixen, weren’t you?

    Jenny, this is nothing!

    Brandon, yeah, I wanted a new one after writing this last night.

    Maritza, dorky? Sweet? WTF?

    Denise, you’re too smart for me.

    Mr. Fabulous, it was erotic, I’ll tell you that.

    Heather, big enough for you!

  2. Miss Britt

    I obviously knew it wasn’t about your “first time” as soon as you said how old you were.

    BUT – and I’m just going to say something nice here, so take note – this was VERY well written. Very nice. Good job. Bravo.

    :clap: :thumbsup: :hug: :martini:

  3. Kelly

    Ok, why did I know it had to do with bedding the moment I read “wouldn’t you want to be on top of this?”

    And Avi, that picture up there? C’mon, aren’t you being a little overly optimistic? I mean really, no one needs that much lube on their first time.

  4. Avitable

    Angel, new mattresses are awesome. Better than sex.

    ADW, yeah, I figured most people would think it was massage related.

    Mistress Yoda, then you were still fooled!

    Tracy, damn you. Rooms to Go is one of those places that sells mattresses and furniture and shit, here in the South.

    Dragon, I have never faked the purchse of anything. 🙂

    Brittstorm, so next time I should start it off and say “I was 12 and hiding in the rectory when I heard Father Tom coming down the hall . . .” And thank you.

    Kelly, I’m like a Boy Scout. Always prepared.

  5. Tug

    :clap: I’m with the massage thinkers here…nice.

    I didn’t get all that fun when I just bought my new mattress dammit. Maybe because mine is doctor’s choice? :assshake:

  6. Avitable

    Tug, did you buy a Craftmatic Adjustable Bed? It’s for grandmas!

    Mistress Yoda, but a foolin’s still a foolin’.

    Dawn, bastard salespeople. Don’t they know that a woman has needs?

    Hilly, you’ve confused me. Rachel?

    Poppy, only if I look in the mirror while doing it.

  7. Poppy

    Did I ever mention that my first official date with Hay was shopping for a couch for his apartment? I sat on a lot of couches that day giving him “the look”. The couch he picked out has a lot of dirty memories… :sex011:

  8. Avitable

    Tug, heh. I’m a funny boy!

    DB, with a feathered cap.

    Poppy, rawr? I didn’t know that about your first date, either. “The look”, eh?

    TMP, well, I kinda got screwed.

    Cheri, yeah, it was a bit transparent, I know.

    Amy, I do what the pretty lady tells me to.

  9. jenny

    It took 24 hours but I thought of some pros to being a parent. 1) Mothers Day. This is a chance to demand gifts from your spouse such as big ass diamond earrings, new patio furniture, a new dishwasher etc., and 2) you have someone to blame when all the Halloween candy goes missing.

  10. Avitable

    Jenny, well, I’m not a mom, so that pro doesn’t count. And yeah, wrong post!

    TMP, exactly!

    Paticus, shopping really is something all people have in common. It’s the great uniter.

    Poppy, yes, it is!

  11. Schadenfreude

    From the guy who vividly described crankin one out while balancing on two legs of a chair in the school library, I was suspect the instant I realized you were being too careful with phrasing. That was by word 10 or so. I just thought it was a Sleepy’s.

    Nicely done though. Very nicely done.

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