Yesterday's drunk video that Britt did got me thinking about the numerous drunk dials she's made to me at my office. My phone is one of those multi-line phones that can do everything you can imagine, including recording phone conversations on the fly! So I decided to go through the hours of drunk calls that I had recorded and pick a few choice tidbits to share with you. I tried this new soundboard website, so let's see how it works. If you can't view it or use it, you can go to the direct link here. Also, keep a hand on your volume - some of these are a bit loud.
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Please tell me you don't save drunk texts too.
Comments by heather
Comments by Angel
Boy, how often does Britt call you drunk? Do we need an intervention? ;)
Comments by Sheila
I agree. what did you do to piss her off? I'm scared of Britt... She would stab me in the ovaries in a heartbeat!
Comments by buepaintred
AVI!!!! You were supposed to turn these into RINGTONES and then
whore Britt outsell them!!!Comments by Amy
At least she doesn't sound like a raging violent alcoholic.
She's one of those "fun drunks".
Comments by Mistress
Poor Britt. If I lived in Iowa I'd be drunk and angry all the time too.
We should send a helicopter and airlift her out of there.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Makes me wonder who hired who...?
Comments by RW
Heather, well, I don't ever really throw anything away!
Angel, she wasn't mad at me. She was mainly telling stories about people she was mad at.
Sheila, maybe every few weeks. I encourage it, for my own fun.
BPR, she would stab someone in their nuts or ovaries without a thought. And did you realize that you misspelled your own fucking name here?
Amy, yeah, I was doing that, but then figured this would be a taste. If we decide to sell ringtones, we still can! I had one where she says "God must love pussy", but it was too quiet.
Mistress, she's definitely a fun drunk.
Mr. Fabulous, I'm working on the airlift part.
RW, I'm a good pimp, what can I say?
Comments by Avitable
Seems perfectly normal to me. Go Britt!
Comments by Peggy
heheh Is that all from one conversation?
Comments by Frankie
Remind me never to call you when I'm drunk! Good thing I don't have your phone number!
Comments by Jen
I can't listen to them now but will later.
Too bad I don't have your number...nobody drunk dials like I do.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Like I said on her blog, she's adorable!
Comments by Dragon
Note to self...Never drunk chat or drunk text with Avi again.
Comments by heather
Peggy, she's actually just like that sober, too.
Frankie, oh no. It's from many drunken conversations.
Jen, no, but there's always stickam.
Mistress Yoda, you always say you're the best at some of these things. Pretty soon, I'm going to need proof of at least one of them.
Dragon, she's actually quite a bitch! But an adorable one.
Comments by Avitable
Heather, I'm a packrat, what can I say?
Comments by Avitable
Drunk dialing I can absolutely prove, just need to go out for a few drinks. Well, I do just about everything better when I'm drunk :D
Comments by Mistress Yoda
I should know better than to listen to this shit at work - don't worry I had an earpiece in, but it would have been funnier if I had let everyone else listen to it. If I have to listen to one of my engineer's personal conversations about trailers and Schlitz, everyone else could listen to Britt threatening to stab you in the nuts.
Too fucking funny.
Comments by ADW
Awww,
She doesn't even say "Fight with the cat!". That would be funny.
;-)
Comments by Mike
just by reading the titles of those calls I know better than to listen to them here at work. :)
Comments by Webmiztris
Mistress Yoda, I think you should prove your other assertion first. Still waiting on that!
ADW, yeah, drunk calls are usually NSFW.
Mike, I guess I didn't press the right button.
Dawn, yeah, you might want to wait until you get home.
Comments by Avitable
I'm working on it.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Shit I am blocked at work again. I suppose I should be working anyhow.
Comments by themuttprincess
"God must love pussy?" Seriously? And what was she referencing?
BTW, where the hell is she?
Comments by Amy
way to make saving messages
from your 'internet wife' crush not seem as creepy.
Comments by liquid
Mistress Yoda, ok, I'm trembling with anticipation.
TMP, yeah, you should go home.
Amy, she was talking about God's plan and why she would be such a lightweight.
Liquid, that's Blog Wife, thank you very much. Is it creepier if I masturbate to it?
Comments by Avitable
just more sad than hobo porn
Comments by liquid
I better be rewarded nicely.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Liquid, hey, there's nothing wrong with hobo porn!
Mistress Yoda, with balls?
Comments by Avitable
Your balls or like bouncy balls?
Comments by Mistress Yoda
My balls are bouncy balls!
Comments by Avitable
Do you wrap them up in a bow?
Comments by Mistress Yoda
I'll pull a stretchy ring around them.
Comments by Avitable
how 'bout when they
use your shoes for a toilet during filming
Comments by liquid
Well, if it's #1, then it's just a golden shower film. If it's #2, we'll sell it to Germany as Scheisse porn.
Comments by Avitable
Wow, my furkids will have a lot of fun with that.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Ooh . . . your "furkid"!
Comments by Avitable
Dang, I almost wish I drank again.
NOT.
Comments by annie
Ooooh...I beat out Miss Britt on the Top 10. Woohoo! My furkid will be so please :D
Comments by Mistress Yoda
turn the flow into dough!
Comments by liquid
Annie, but it's so fun for other people!
Mistress Yoda, she might come after you now.
Liquid, that shall be my new slogan!
Comments by Avitable
"She doesn't even say "Fight with the cat!". That would be funny."
Mike - That was me.
Mistress Yoda - You're such a comment whore.
Comments by heather
Uh oh, she scares me a little.
I'm not so much of a comment whore as I am just bored on a Friday at work.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
You're in the top 3 on my blog. I know! Let's both get drunk tonight and we can drunk dial and drunk chat with each other. That could get interesting.
Comments by heather
Sounds like fun to me, although I have a tendency to stay things I end up regretting. I drunk email and blog too.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Yeah, I tend to say and do things I regret too. (Shut up Avi)
By the way Avi, sorry for using your comments as a forum.
Comments by heather
He invades my comments all the time...usually talking about my furkids
Comments by Mistress Yoda
We are a regret-free environment, though! You should always be proud and happy of everything you've done drunk.
Comments by Avitable
Only because he'd like to invade your furkid.
Email me. We'll chat later.
Comments by heather
Except mixing beer and hard alcohol...I definitely regret that.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Britt, I hope you never apply for work with a big company because if they find these posts, you're hosed.
Avi, you have wayyy too much free time
Comments by usedtobeme
Mixing vodka and Avi can bring on some regrets too.
Comments by heather
(I keep sneaking back to play the "happy dance" one. I really think I'm falling in love here)
Comments by RW
You scare me.
Comments by Gunwitch
I assume that Britt is right now banging down your door with her axe... The one she's gonna be using on you soon...
I don't make phonecalls when drunk... I think... Nah... Probably not...
Comments by DutchBitch
I would LOVE to go home. I am with Mistress Yoda, I do damn near everything better drunk.
Comments by themuttprincess
"We are a regret-free environment..." Have I told you since last weekend that you're full of shit?
Comments by Poppy
Bossy tries not to drink and dial. Which isn't too hard because most of the time she's face down in her mashed potatoes.
Comments by BOSSY
Heather, you should let me watch this chat between you and Robin. :D
Mistress Yoda, and wine and liquor, too.
Usedtobeme, I don't think she has said anything that would affect her in an application for a job.
RW, it's a great quote. She was feeling severely underappreciated.
Gunwitch, I do? Why's that?
DB, oh, she knew I was doing this. When we decide to sell these as ringtones, she gets 10%.
TMP, I'm giving you authorization to go home! Just have your boss call me.
Poppy, I should add a disclaimer that says that any given statement contains 25% falsehood.
Bossy, do you bring a snorkel?
Comments by Avitable
I will have him get on that. OH wait. He is out of town. Shoot.
Oh well only an hour and a half. I can piss that away faster than bottle in a drunks hand.
Comments by themuttprincess
miss britt, i am doing your naked happy dance, this very moment
Comments by Crys
I am so getting drunk tomorrow. Up for a chat?
Comments by heather
Britt IS awfully quiet today.....
And yeah...I'm glad I don't get drunk anymore either. It can ALL be traced now.
Comments by Tug
Thats about nine kinds of fantastic right there!
Comments by Phishez
10%?!?!?!?! She's getting a shitty deal!
Comments by DutchBitch
TMP, if your boss was out of town, you should have just left early!
Crystal, I'll never believe you unless you send proof.
Heather, you and Mistress Yoda "chat" and I'll watch.
Tug, she lost her internet and is waiting for it to be fixed.
Phishez, damn straight.
DB, she gets licensing rights, though.
Comments by Avitable
You know, maybe I need to go back and listen to these again. Because people keep saying how mad I'm going to be, and I might not get a job, and that they would be sooo embarassed.
And all I can think is "what? shit. I don't remember it being THAT bad!"
I mean, you said you didn't play the "god loves pussy" one, right? lol
Comments by Miss Britt
Avi - Ah, it makes sense now.
Britt - It wasn't that bad. Nothing I'd think would ever keep you from getting a job - it was more fun than anywhere near bad.
Comments by Tug