Postcards, meet edge.
Today, I received two very funny postcards in the mail (see behind the fold for postcards), one each from Heather and Vulgar Wizard. These two, along with the one from Mr. Fabulous, have inspired me to do two different things. The first thing is completely a secret for now. The second thing is to steal Fab's idea!
That's right, I'm going to send a postcard to anyone who wants one. These aren't just any old postcards, though. These postcards will be adorned with a reprint of an original Avitable work of art, and each one will contain a personal message from yours truly. The message will probably be vulgar and will definitely not be something you want your child, priest, mother, grandmother, or Great-Aunt Trudy to read.
Since I have to draw the art, and then send it off to get the postcards printed, it will take a couple of weeks before you get them, but, rest assured, they will be on their way.
So, while you're sitting there, trembling with anticipation, how do you get one of these once-in-a-lifetime postcards? These cards that will soon become collector's items worth millions? All you have to do is follow these simple rules.
1. Leave a comment telling me that you want one. Even if you're a lurker, it's okay – go ahead and let me know.
2. I will email you to confirm, and you will have to reply with your address within a reasonable time.
3. Go stand by your mailbox and don't leave until it comes!
Posted in My Art | Tags: avitable, funny, heather-anne, pointless-drivel, postcards, typical-redhead
Art work from you??? I most certainly would like one please.
Reply
Can I have one of the baby?! Please!
Reply
i beg of you – please send me the most vulgar and disgusting postcard you can imagine. I checked the mail on Monday and had to pick up a parcel. when I gave her the card and told her i was 2125, she went white and said – i kid you not – is this for the moose cock?
it was great!
but then she tattled to my mother in law, not so great, but still worth it.
Reply
Of course I want one!!
Reply
Ah, I read the instructions wrong the first time, and thought I was supposed to stand by my mailbox and not leave until – I – come. Since I want a postcard, I was totally ready to grab some porn and go do what I had to do… regardless of what the neighbors think.
Good thing I re-read those instructions again. Just my luck I'd be arrested for obscene behavior and never get my postcard.
Reply
Will any of these postcards include the images from the right edge of your template?
Reply
The only thing I really like getting in the mail is DVD's with porn on them (from Mr. K) so I'll hafta pass.
Oh, and birthday cards stuffed with money from my granny.
But that's it.
Reply
Naturally I need one. I just can't get enough vulgar stuff in the mail! Original artwork….sounds………interesting and will surely make our postman blush.
Reply
Of course I want one!
I got one from Heather too. I need to scan and post it, that's a good idea.
Reply
Me me me me me me me me me me me!!!! I want one!!! :sex023:
Reply
I want one too!!
Reply
Like I'm going to pass this!
I'm only debating this
a) I give you my home adress and get the postcard by myself when I get back from work;
b) I give you my work adress, which implies that at least 5 different people on campus would see the card, not counting the time it will sit in the transparent file holder by my office door…
Reply
I would do it… but I'm afraid of being arrested.
Reply
I want one. I'm making a blogger postcard collection now and starting a site called PopSecret. (Not to be confused with the popcorn.)
Reply
Oh, and I'm very good at keeping secrets as you know so please leave me a reply comment here telling me precisely what the other "it's a secret!" thing is. Thanks.
Reply
Well of course I want in on this. After the Christmas cards this year I can only imagine what you will come with.
Reply
I'm in.
Reply
I humbly and respectfully request a postcard. :batting: Please and thank you.
Reply
Ooh! Me too! Me too! :clap:
Reply
I'm in.
Reply
Angel, Janelle, Dutchbitch, Julianne, Paticus, Erratic Scribbler, Mistress Yoda, and everyone else who requested one, I'll send an email out tonight to all of you.
Sheila, I'm going to draw one original piece that will be used for all of the postcards. I don't know yet if the baby will be there.
BPR, hahahah – you have scarred your mailperson for life. What did your MIL say?
Dave, as long as your mailbox isn't sticky inside, you should be okay.
Joefish, nope, just original artwork.
Mistress, you're missing out. A postcard from me will get you all hot and bothered.
Misfit Duck, a blushing mailman is always good.
Mr. Fabulous, yeah, I think you and I were the only ones blessed by Heather.
Mike, I think having people on campus see it is preferable.
RW, you're just afraid of having Mrs. RW faint.
Poppy, I don't spill secrets!
Frankie, the Christmas card was nothing!
Dragon, humbly and respectfully? I prefer arrogantly and snidely.
Reply
That too.
Reply
I want one. (But it doesn't get you off the hook for owing me Avi art.)
Postcard Wars!
Reply
i'd love to get one, but right now i'm on holiday & my neighbour is picking up my mail. i still want this person to do me favors in the future & not run away screaming when they see that postcard.
Reply
:sexytime: Of course I want one!
Reply
I can has postzcard?
Reply
Oh yeah…you know I want one!! :thumbsup:
Reply
What can I say, Avi, I'm sweetness and light. Can't you tell?
Reply
do you know how much work you're going to have to do? i want one but i want to spare you all the terrible terrible work.
Reply
I would love one, BUT you see, my child, and my personal priest, my mother and even sometimes my uptight neighbors all bring me my mail. I do realize that their opinion of me can not go any lower, but at this point, I can not take that chances.
You can send me all the delightfully nasty emails you like though…. Only my dry cleaner and I read that.
Reply
Ok, I'll bite. I would like one. But can I ask – are "we" (the people who give you our addresses) part of the first secret? Are you making a book? Cuz that would totally rule.
Reply
A chance for a piece of Avitable… yes please…
Reply
RW, I bet if you asked her, she'd want a postcard from me.
Heather, no, I know.
Karen, that's true. She'd never look at you the same.
Tug, M, Kellie, Jen, and everyone else, check your email later!
Dragon, your pseudonym alone speaks volumes.
Crystal, it's worth it for my readers, my followers, my sycophants.
TMP, excuses, excuses.
Wayne, no. The postcard I send out won't be part of a book or anything like that. Good guess, though.
Reply
Oh yes. Indeed, YES. :sex023:
Reply
I would like cash in an envelope instead please. Thank you.
Reply
Britt, Britt, Britt… you KNOW if he sends you cash he's going to expect :boobs4: in return. Silly, silly, girl!!! :angel:
Reply
I'll have what Brit is having…..
Reply
Ooh yeah,baby! Give it to me! I'd love it if you had something for my box!Will it be bigger than Fab's? I hope so.I can't waait til it comes!! :jerkoff2:
Reply
@Amy – well, yes, but for enough cash NOTHING is really off limits. Is it?
Or is that just me?? :batting:
Reply
:sexytime: Oh! oh! I want want!!!
My hubby Leo thinks that you are too funny!
Should I start waiting by the mail box now or later? :lmao:
Reply
Maybe, maybe.
I am with Britt….. I think an envelope with cash is better.
Reply
not sure how my mailman will feel about me for this, but i would love a postcard. thanks!
Reply
Listen, bitches. There is only room on this blog for one money grubbin' whore and we are not currently accepting applications at this time. The position has been FILLED.
In other words -
stop cuttin' into my profits!! :crazywife:
Reply
Yaaayyy, what an awesome idea, I love your drawings. I want one please! And I'll put it right up on my fridge next to Fabby's.
Reply
I live in a village of no more than 200 souls–counting dogs and cats! Needless to say, the postmaster here knows each and every one of us, kinda like an "up north" version of Green Acres.
So let's give 'em something to talk about. Count me in!
Reply
Yes Please…I might even return the favor with something hokey I find around here in Wyoming or on my way through TX. Maybe.
Reply
Me too, me too!
(i feel so AOL-dirty!)
Reply
@Britt – I guess everyone has their price – even you… and even if it is 14 mill… :boobs3:
Reply
@Amy – was there ever any doubt that I had a price??
Clearly, I need to work on my branding.
Reply
BTW – where the fuck is ADAM?
This whole "I have to take care of my wife, wah wah wah" excuse is officially old.
Get'cho Punk Ass Online, Bitch!!
Reply
Hi, sorry I am late…I'd like one please
Reply
Fuck no! I want to stay married!
Heather's was classic, though. I have to think up one to send you, heh-heh.
Reply
To everyone who's commented since I last replied, I'll get an email out to you soon enough. Except, Annie, who thinks my postcard will be so hilarious it will cost her her marriage.
Reply
are you fucking kidding me??
You didn't even READ your comments!!!!!
Reply
Oh, I read them. I just ignored you! :violent018:
Reply
That's going to cost you a zero, buddy.
Reply
I don't think there are any more zeroes to give – there's no number large enough. It doesn't even exist!
Reply
Here I am making LOADS of effort to read and comment and make you feel loved. All in the middle of MY shitastic day.
And you can't even muster a decent response.
:crying: :crying: :crying:
Reply
I'm too busy coming up with a genius postcard that I'm going to mail out personally to everyone, even you!
Reply
OMG, Avi – you are so full of shit I can smell you from here! :crazywife:
Reply
And Britt… I always new you had a price… I just never realized you would put a price on that. :assshake:
Reply
Amy, it's her best "ass"et.
Reply
Pffft
:finger:
Reply
That's all you have to say? Might as well just scoot that little moneymaker out of here.
Reply
Oh FUUUUUUUUCK you buddy. You should so be bringing me glasses of wine and mochas right now.
Foolish. Stupid. Boy.
You know you're going to have to make this up to me, don't you?
Reply
If you'd move here already, I'd make it up to you a hundred times over!
:martini: :rose: :tongue1: :sex007: :bukkake:
Reply
Uh, Brittini? Have you ever considered that Avi MIGHT, just MAYBE have some S&M tendencies? Hmmmm? I think he WANTS you to get ROUGH with him. :sex014:
:woohoo:
Reply
I don't want your jizz, Dog Fucker. Where's your bling bling dollar bill smiley?
Reply
Whooo, much more of this and you guys are going to be too extreme for Avi's blog. :cocksuck2:
Reply
Can't we all just get along and see Britt's :boobs1: ?
Reply
*sigh* I love being ignored – fuck you both.
:poke:
Reply
Who's ignoring you?
Reply
:loser: :violent018:
Reply
:heartbeat: :heartbeat:
Reply
Damn, what the hell is going on in here? I seem to have stumbled into some kind of an argument. I'm gonna just ease over here, beg for my postcard, and duck out. You guys be careful with all that cum.
Reply
Gimme, please.
Reply
Me want!! Gimme gimme!!
Reply
I wanna see Britt's boobies too!!
Reply
Britt? Is Avi trying to whore you out again?
Reply
I think he is Amy, because he offered to let me see her boobies once for a price. :lmao:
Reply
I would love to have a postcard… and I don't really care what my mailman thinks.
Reply
did you expect such a good responce?
Reply
I want one! My address is in one of your 92547573938 comments…
Reply
PS: The Mr. wants to know if it'll include this pic: :assshake:
…er…well…a still, anyway…
Reply
When does this offer expire? I have no freaking clue where I'm going to be in a few weeks.
Reply
I'll be getting around to everyone, and Girl, Dislocated, if your address changes, you can just let me know.
Reply
All these postcards…damn, Avi, your hand's going to be too tired from all that writing to do anything more fun, if you get my drift. So I'll be pleased to have one too, thanks!
Reply
sign me up. I'm so bummed I forgot to sign up when Fab did this. you're going to have a tough time topping his postcards because they were HEELARIOUS! but I have faith in you!
Reply
Yes please, I got a card from Mr. Fab so would like one from you too.
Got to give the mail man something interesting to read.
Reply
Oh and if you want us all to return postcards with inappropriate comments I am sure some of us would be happy to oblige.
Reply
Rhys, I know – what the fuck was I thinking?
Dawn, yeah, I'm feeling the pressure.
Michael, return postcards are fine is people want.
Reply
Need… Avitable… postcard!
Reply
If you are happy to send them to Australia, I would be happy to have one.
Reply
Somehow, I think the card I got from Mr. Fab would enjoy the company of a postcard from you. May I have one, please?
Also, I'm Melissa, I'm a lurker and the video about the shorts cracked me up.
Reply
I would like a postcard please, I been a lurker here for a while. Damn you for making me delurk!
Reply
I want one! :batting:
Reply
Damn you're gonna be busy now! But you can add me to your list of I WANT ONE TOO!! PLEASE!
Reply
I want a postcard! Wah!!!!
Reply
Yeah, me too if its not too late. email at phishezrule@gmail.com
Reply
I know I'm late on the uptake, but can I please get a nasty post card?
Reply
ooo ooo oooooo, can I have one?
Reply