Watch out for the bullets!
- As many of you may have guessed, that was not really my Papa. However, it is exactly how he sounds, and I have actually asked him to do a real guest post. He's going to email it to me in the next couple of days, and I'll post it and let you see how close or far I was from reality.
- I think I have 48 postcards to send out right now. I am not drawing 48 drawings - that was never the plan. Instead, I'm making between 4-8 different designs that will be randomly sent out to everyone. This is more fun than actual work, but it's still really time consuming. I think it will be worth it, though.
- One of the guest rooms in our house smells like something died, or like rotten vagina. We can't find where it is coming from, though, and I'm hoping I'm not going to have to break into the wall. Maybe we can wait it out.
- I think Chick Fil-A chicken sandwiches, with no pickles and lots of mayonnaise, may be slowly replacing bacon cheeseburgers as my favorite food.
- I almost have enough Diet Coke Rewards Points for a free iHome clock radio and iPod dock. Send me your Coke Rewards numbers!
- BBW was having a sale, so I ordered more scents, and some more of those wallflowers, too. I have discovered that while, in theory, Creamy Caramel would be an awesome smell to have in your house, in reality, it is smothering and nauseating. And French Lavender isn't as soothing and wonderful as I thought.
- Don't forget to go check out These Walls Have Ears - we want your comments, and if you go over and leave comments, Britt, Amy and I will all get naked. Then we will leave comments on your blog - while naked! Nobody else has this level of commitment to blog-whoring that we do.
- I need to buy more underwear. All of my pairs have holes, and now it's tough for me to go down to the mailbox wearing only those and a T-shirt.
Okay, the barrage is over. You can come out from hiding.
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That smell you have–Did you 'accidentally' plaster a hooker up inside the wall?
BBW is an awesome store and I like alot of their scents. But when I get home I don't like them so much either.
Comments by metalmom
So, you told us what scents from BBW you don't like, which ones would you recommend? Oh expert of room sprays.
Comments by heather
Hey, I've been looking everywhere for my vagina. If I describe mine, will you tell me if you find it in your house?
Comments by Mist 1
You may not comment on my blog while naked. I cannot be having that sort of thing, it's unhygienic, so if you are going to be at my blog in the nuddy, keep it to yourself, fer crissake.
I can't believe I even have to say that.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Maybe your wife got some rotten vagina scent from BBW and is playing a joke on you.
Comments by Jacki
I left a comment at "These Walls Have Ears", but I have not yet received any nude comments on my blog. What's up with that?
Comments by Angel
I'd send you my Coke Reward numbers since I already got my Coke sling bag and my Coke carbiner carriers... but I'm really feeling that Wii.
Sorry.
Comments by NYC Watchdog
I might actually have some of those coke thingies. I'll email you.
Comments by Girl, Dislocated
I've never had Chick Fil-a. I've always been turned off by the name. It annoys me.
I don't drink Coke, but good luck!
I find a lot of the BBW scents these days very cloying.
Comments by Kentucky Girl
I may also have some of the Coke Rewards codes that you covet. I will look, and you will be receiving an e-mail about it.
Comments by Angel
Damn, I thought that rat I stuffed in the wall would NEVER die...
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Like you know what rotten vagina smells like.
I think the world tilted a bit on its axis when you published to the world that Chick Fil-A anything was replacing a bacon cheeseburger. I don't know how to make chicken sandwiches! You're killing me here!
Are Coke rewards numbers "under the cap"? If so, I will be sending you something soon.
Comments by Poppy
And I really want to edit that comment to mention something about adding rotten vagina scent to those caps but I don't know any rotten vaginas.
Comments by Poppy
I put in a request to my old roommate for rewards point codes. She drinks more than you believe it or not. Where are they on the 12pks? oh and I'll take any room sprays that you feel like discarding, right now I have eau de cigarette and candles don't cover that too well. BUT I may go back to working nights at BBW so I will reciprocate with 30% discount gifts! Plus 20% @ victoria's secret and express for Amy :)
Comments by Julianne
What did Miss Britt leave in the guest room?
Comments by RW
For how awful it is, the smell can't be just one of those things. Even though you think a person can't fit in the crawlspace, I'm convinced a hooer from OBT was breaking into your place from there. She likely got stuck between the boards and died from starvation.
If only she would have looked a bit more she would have found the Strawberry Milkshake Oreos you store in there. The scent of the magic cookies brought a hungry rat into your crawlspace. After a delicious meal of Oreos the rat crawled into the dead whore's vagina as it seemed like a good nest. Her diseased crotch cooties killed the rat, and the smell of everything is just being enhanced by the awful Florida heat.
Mystery solved.
Comments by Clown
Metalmom, I like most of the scents, but I never go to a store. I haven't been in a store in years - I do all of my shopping online.
Heather, I recommend Fresh Lemonade, Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Cinammon Vanilla, Fresh Linen, Warm Apple Pie, Spiced Cider, Bartlett Pear, Brown Sugar and Fig, and Fresh Baked Cookies. Those are the ones that I have.
Mist, just send me a picture, and I'll let you know.
Tracy, too late! I do naked commenting on your blog all the time, and sometimes I'm touching myself!
Jacki, I'm the only one who shops there.
Angel, turnaround time of 3-6 weeks.
NYCWD, the Wii would be nice, and it's about time they got some good rewards.
Girl, Dislocated, you are officially my favorite person in the whole world.
KG, I had never eaten it until this year. You should give it a try.
Angel, if you do, you will officially be my favorite person in the whole world.
Mr. Fabulous, next time, don't leave him in there with a bag of food.
Poppy, I spent my life from age 12-14 living in the basement of a whorehouse. Oh, I know what it smells like! The rewards are under the cap, yes.
Julianne, on the 12-packs, they are on the cardboard part that snaps off so you can get the sodas. You don't want the caramel one, trust me. It's vomit-inducing, especially if you mixed it with icky cigarette smell. If you work nights at BBW and give me a discount, you will officially become my favorite person in the whole world. And a Victoria's Secret discount? Who says it would be for Amy?
RW, I asked her if she peed on the blankets and stuffed them in the vents, but she said no.
Clown, elementary.
Comments by Avitable
there might be sardines in the curtain rods...and
there is a no nekked commenting rule at my blog.
Comments by bluepaintred
I'll keep you updated on codes & discounts. Did you notice in just the response above you have 3 official favorite people? well technically 1 and two possibles :)
Comments by Julianne
BPR, no curtain rods in that room. And I just broke your rule!
Julianne, for pointing that out, you are officially my favorite person in the whole world.
Comments by Avitable
What do you mean you are not making 48 different drawings? What!?
Comments by DutchBitch
Please pick up some socks when you get your underware.
The one time I had Chick Fil-A it was gross–and I love chicken. I am going to have to go with a guess that that one I went to, isn't as good as the one you go to.
You are welcome to post nekkid on my blog anytime. Please. I encourage it.
Comments by themuttprincess
You Sir, Are NO Gentleman.
Good Day!
Comments by bluepaintred
You are officially my least favorite person in the whole world.
That's right...
I like George Bush, Adolph Hitler, and Kevin Federline more than you.
Comments by Clown
How much am I getting paid for this round of naked whoring?
Comments by Miss Britt
Dutchbitch, that would make me go mad.
TMP, I was going to, but the holey socks are fine.
BPR, are you naked right now?
Clown, well, they like me better than they like you, so there!
Britt Butler and ScarBritt O'Hara, you're getting paid with traffic to These Walls. Stop yer bitchin'.
Comments by Avitable
OK, but by "naked" do you mean naked like I get for you during our "special time"? Or naked like I get for the husband during our "leave me the fuck alone" time?
Comments by Miss Britt
Husband naked is fine.
Comments by Avitable
"One of the guest rooms in our house smells like something died, or like rotten vagina."
did you kidnap Avril Lavigne and lock her in your guest room? cuz that would definitely explain the rotten vaginey smell.
Comments by Webmiztris
how do you know what a rotten vagina smells like
ò__Ô
Comments by liquid
Four 12-packs in the storage room. Rewards points coming as soon as I find your e-mail address...
Comments by Dawn
Webmiztris, Avril has a nice smelling vagina, thank you very much.
Liquid, I spent my formative years living in a yeast factory.
Dawn, it's my first name at my last name dot com. Thanks!
Comments by Avitable
Sent! Let me know that you got 'em — I don't follow instructions well on such little sleep.
Comments by Dawn
Don't be foolin a girl high on drugs.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
No your socks are not fine they are barely meeting their purpose.
And by barely I mean not at all.
Comments by themuttprincess
What the hell are you doing in your underwear to get holes???
don't answer that.
All sweet smells are nauseating...go for fruity. Mandarin Cranberry yankee candles are awesome!
Comments by Tug
Have any pets missing? You know Britt hates animals - she probably killed them and crammed them into your walls.
Naked commenting... I can totally do that... just not on cam.
Comments by Amy
I love Jigsaw!!!!
Comments by Miss Britt
Dawn, you are officially my favorite person in the whole world. Thanks!
Mistress Yoda, foolin'? How?
TMP, yeah, but I go through them so fast, until they're completely in shreds, I see no reason to get rid of them.
Tug, it's from stepping out of them. I invariably trip and tear them.
Amy, she actually liked Jigsaw - I was impressed. She would pet her without even being forced to!
People for the Britthical Treatment of Animals, I will give you that. You surprised me.
Comments by Avitable
I would stongly suggest some Tevas or some kind of shoe that does not require socks. Then you can forgo the whole sock thing.....
Comments by themuttprincess
YAY me! :)
Welcs!
Comments by Dawn
Pretending you were someone else.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Avitable, instead of a postcard, can you send me some custom artwork on a tshirt instead?
On it, you should put the link to this here post, and you can put on it "I googled for 'BBW vagina 'and all I got was this stupid blog entry, and then I got a tshirt for it".
Comments by Wayne
TMP, I can't. I hate shoes that I can't wear without socks. I don't like having sweaty or smelly feet.
Dawn, yay you indeed!
Mistress Yoda, it's what I do best.
Wayne, I do plan on doing T-shirts at some point.
Comments by Avitable
MAKE you go mad? I thought you were waaaaayyy past mad already...
Comments by DutchBitch
Well, madder, then.
Comments by Avitable
You, Amy, and Britt are h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s.
Comments by Krystle
But especially me, right?
Comments by Miss Britt
Krystle, thank you. And I appreciate you including the other two in your praise, too, although, clearly, I'm the Mary and they're the Rhodas.
Brittcho Marx, pfft.
Comments by Avitable
As of the typing of this comment, my comment number is 69.
And well, we just can't have that. I'm not that generous.
Comments by Miss Britt
Plus, I've seen how you eat popsicles.
Comments by Avitable
True - Britt is all about the 68 - where you do her and she owes you one. Only, I'm sure she owes many people and has no intention of paying up.
Comments by Amy
I'll have to send Guido after her!
Comments by Avitable
How did you guys all meet anyway??!! Love it love it love it.
Comments by Krystle
I can't believe you're complaining about my popsicle eating. Did I not get the whole thing down, or what?
Comments by Miss Britt
@ Krystle - through a swingers network
Comments by Miss Britt
Krystle, three words. Craigslist and golden showers.
Deep Britt, by biting!
Comments by Avitable
I thought you liked my love bites??
Comments by Miss Britt
Not when you chew and swallow!
Comments by Avitable
I had to scroll down for like two minutes. Damn you get a lot of comments, it's sometimes irritating
Anyway, I think I was going to comment on something, but I can't really remember what your post said...since it is two minutes up the page. But I did think it was funny, as I was chuckling!!!
Comments by Miss Misery