Like a typical man, I forgot my blog anniversary. On Monday, June 18th, my blog turned three years old. I thought I'd just take this post and reflect back on some of the more memorable posts that I've done over the almost 1000 posts. By the way, I do plan on having a big thing when I have my 1000th post, so keep your eyes peeled for that. Without further ado, here's the highlights from three years of Avitable:
2004:
My first post - boring and pointless. Never got a single comment.
My funny complaint letter to Sprint that actually worked.
My first emails to friends about Amy.
2005:
My funny complaint letter to Netflix that actually worked.
Quoted in the New York Times as an expert.
Somebody fits a basketball in their ass.
2006:
My Nohari Window - go pick out my negative attributes! And my Johari Window - pick out my positive attributes.
How Avitable will raise his children.
Poor Steve Irwin - a video from when he was alive.
My horrible Burger King experience.
The only vacation I've taken since 2001.
My first question and answer period: Questions, Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.
The Church of Holy Avitableness!
My post about 9/11 and why I don't care.
Halloween party! Everyone's invited to the 2007 bash!
The Christmas cards I sent out in 2004, 2005, and 2006
Writing humor is like taking a shit.
The Virgin Mary and the Vagina
American Express hires robots.
2007
Everything I've written in 2007 has been a highlight. My first artwork, the dance video, some absolutely hilarious stories, and more. In fact, if you know what's good for you, you'll go through my archives and re-read everything I've written this year. I guarantee your laughter or your money back!
Anyways, that's it. Happy 3rd blogiversary to me!
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
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I feel like I should of sent you a card or flowers or something.... accept this instead, please:
Comments by Sheila
Oooh Happy Blogiversary!
Thanks for the postcard, btw....I am sure my mailman loved hearing all about my jar of semen
Comments by Hilly
Happy Blogiversary.... Blogoversery? How do you spell that?
Comments by Amanda
Happy blogiversary, Mr. Avitable, sir!
Comments by Dave2
Congratulations.
Hope Miss Britt flashes her boobs at you as a present.
Comments by Jacki
a thousand posts, eh?
Ive been blogging just over a year, I have almost 800
i will check out the links tomorrow
don't read my post today, it will piss you off, ok?
Comments by bluepaintred
Aww, what a momentous occasion! I can't believe you've been blogging for 3 years!
I didn't even know what a blog was until like a year and a half ago!
You rock, please continue to entertain us forever and ever.
Comments by Mistress
HA! This officially makes you a bigger dork than I am because I have not celebrated a blogiversary yet... and now, thanks to you, I never can.
Bastard.
Comments by Amy
BTW - HA!! HA!!! I beat Britt here... oh yeah.. oh yeah... I rock!!!
Oh... and uh, seriously, Happy Anniversary, I expect to be able to come here when I am, you know, 50 and still find you at, uh, 55, that's right, blogging happily and perversely!!!
(no, my math is correct because as long as you keep that beard thing instead of the goatee, people are going to assume you are a lot older than I am and I am TOTALLY cool with that.)
Comments by Amy
Happy Blogiversary! I always forget mine too.
Comments by Brandon
Do we get extra credit for reading these?
Comments by AnnieB
Happy Blogiversary!
I read you every morning and do I need help, I tell you.
But, looking back over some of these posts... ever wonder where some of these commenters have gone to?
No... me neither.
Comments by RW
Why'd you have to give us this order now? I'm currently stalking someone else's archives with permission, I don't think I can do it on two sites. Very tiring. Plus, almost any time I leave you a comment on an archive post you don't respond to it. Why would I show you love when you don't reciprocate, Step-Daddy?
Comments by Poppy
Happy blogiversary!
I believe he traditional third year anniversary gift is leather. Yeah, I'm sure we can all come up with something suitable for you there.
Comments by y not i
I wonder where you got this idea...
Comments by Mistress Yoda
You are indeed a national treasure, my friend!
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Sheila, awww, it's so thoughtful!
Hilly, everybody loves hearing about your jar of semen!
Amanda, it's a fake word. You can spell it Qsaghaelgq if you want. :)
Dave, thank you, Mr. Simmer, sir.
Jacki, that's it? I'm hoping for oral sex.
BPR, originally, I only posted once every few days, and now I only post once a day. Are you talking about on all fourteen of your blogs combined?
Mistress, I'll be here for a million years. I promise.
Amy, but what happens when they see your facial hair? They'll know that you're older.
Brandon, I'll be lucky to remember this next year.
AnnieB, yes, and a gold star.
RW, I know where some of them have gone, but others just disappeared. They were probably eaten by lions.
Poppy, I'll be more careful about it! I always reciprocate.
Y not I, sweet! I need some new assless chaps.
Mistress Yoda, heheheheh. I have NO idea . . .
Mr. Fabulous, damn straight.
Comments by Avitable
Happy Blogiversary!!! Can't wait to see the 1000th post. Are you planning it out meticulously? Maybe.
Ooh and I was reading over some of your old posts. If I ever had a doubt about you being one twisted puppy, it is gone now.
Comments by ADW
All total I have 1082 posts. 778 of them are from BPR
Comments by bluepaintred
Happy Blogoversary to you, sir.
Comments by Paticus
Happy Aviversary!!
Comments by Tug
ADW, I'm actually trying to think of something good to do. And yes, the twisted puppy part is all true. I am that person.
BPR, so you post twice a day most days?
Paticus, thanks!
Tug, ooh, I like that - Aviversary! I'll have to remember that next year.
Comments by Avitable
Oh this is awesome! I can now go back in TIME and point out all the ways that you have been wrong!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Fuck, I'm not going to get ANY work done today!!
Comments by Miss Britt
Heh. When I first started out I did three or four in a day. They were great.
"I woke up today and had breakfast. Then I drank coffee and checked email.Then I went for a walk and ate an apple"
Ahhh. Good Times
Comments by bluepaintred
OMG can you NOT fucking learn how to use "targe=_blank"?!?! Seriously?!?!
Comments by Miss Britt
Does that make up for me not liking Seinfeld?
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Mommy Brittest, I've never been wrong. Nice try, though. And maybe I'll try to set up links in a new window for your retarded ass.
BPR, ah - that explains it! Heh.
Mistress Yoda, I don't know. A boob shot might do that.
Comments by Avitable
I'm going to have to buy a scoreboard, aren't I?
Comments by Miss Britt
Comments by metalmom
Britt to One, yes.
Metalmom, awww, thanks!
Comments by Avitable
You are a continued inspiration for us all. Especially for those of us into poo.
Comments by Jay
Oh. Dear. Gawd.
I'm done. I'm finally DONE!
I am NOT however going back through your 2007 posts. That's just insane. Suck my dick dude, seriously.
I noticed upon rereading your entire fucking archives now that your writing got noticeably better when you started reading me. In fact, the closer we got - the better your posts got.
Hm.
What was that you were saying about circle of influence again??
Comments by Miss Britt
Did Britt just admit to having a dick?
Comments by Amy
Happy Blogiversary, Avi!
Comments by Dragon
You didn't know about my detachable dick?
It came with the balls of steel.
Comments by Miss Britt
See, I knew you had Avi's balls, Jared's balls, and I think someone suggested you might even have Mike's. I sort of see you as the ball black hole of the universe, kinda like the same place where 1 from each pair of socks goes. Only you get the pair.
Anyway - yeah, knew you collected those, but didn't know you did the whole dick and balls of steel thing. Good to know. Gooooood to know.
Comments by Amy
Happy Anniversary! My own first anniversary is coming up next month, I think. Good times : )
Comments by cat
I would like to go on record as saying that I am not now, nor have I ever been, in possession of Mike's ball.
Although I suspect at times that SOMEONE else is using them - it is definitely not me.
Comments by Miss Britt
And since you have Avi's it's understandable that he might ask to borrow Mike's from time to time.
Personally, I have a super vagina and have no need to utilize a wimpy pair of balls.
(HOLY SHIT, Did I just SAY that?!?!?!?!?)
Comments by Amy
Ya know, now that you mention it, WTF's up with that? Why is it whenever a woman does something brave or strong or awesome or... well, whatever... it's always "she's got balls"??
Why doesn't anyone ever say "holy crap, the Vagina on that woman!"
And, now that I think of it, I'm looking at Adam AND you now because you BOTH tell me that all the time! pfft. Sexist pigs the both of ya!!
Comments by Miss Britt
You know, you have a really good point there. Here I was just thinking that giving birth naturally three times (no epidural) sort of made mine a super vagina...
But no, you are right... and from now on I am going to say, Holy crap, Britt, you have a brass vagina!
Comments by Amy
you had to throw the no epidural shit in there, didn't you?
Well, I may be a wimp. But at least my shit's still intact.
Comments by Miss Britt
Happy blogiversary! Three years is great. :)
I'm here via Poppy, who has gained you another loyal reader. No, I haven't really read anything of yours yet. But...I can tell I'm going to like it just from your banner. I mean, really. An icecream cone with Hitler? What more do I need to know!?
Comments by melissa.in.london
MIL!!!!!! HI! Welcome to Avi's. Pull up a chair and a few smilies and stay a while. We can play in his comments!!!
Comments by Poppy
ROTFLMAO
My shit is intact. I mean... you know, after the grand canyon sized episiotomy healed.
And, really who is going to notice a scar that runs from one orifice to another?
Therefore, I have a Super Vagina!
(OMG I just said that AGAIN)
Comments by Amy
@Amy: Avi would notice.
Comments by Poppy
Jay, I'm excretely excited! I have high moral fiber.
Who's on Britt?, I guess if we want my blog to really get amazing, we should get even closer. Like, boob-gazing close. I'm not answering all of your comments individually, so I'll just say that you have a brass vagina AND brass balls.
Amy aka Super Vagina, she's always telling me to suck it - eventually she's going to make me.
Dragon, thanks!
Cat, it's been a year already for you? Cool.
Melissa, thanks for the visit and comment. And the banner is all you need to know. If it made you laugh, you're welcome here.
Poppy, you're going to have more fun in my comments than yours pretty soon!
Comments by Avitable
Happy 3rd Blogiversary! I hope you have many, many more, because I love getting a guaranteed laugh everytime I read your stuff. Thanks.
Comments by Sybil Law
Woo hoo! Cheers. Rock on :) Nice to meet you, btw, I found you at Dave2's joint. I like what you have done with the place; peeps like you and Dave are waaaay out of my league as far as doing stuff with code to make it look great and otherwise being blog savvy. Mine's just a template I got from Blogger, then I type into it and browse for photos and shit. Alas.
Comments by Catherine
Happy Blogiversary!!!
You have been enteraining the masses for longer than most people with a blog.
Comments by Angel
Sybil, thanks! I try.
Catherine, thanks for the visit and comment. I started out at Blogger, too, for almost 2 and a half years.
Angel, there weren't many in the way of masses for the first year or two, but thanks!
Comments by Avitable