Before you get to read your regularly scheduled post, here’s the NYCWD update:
As of right now, at midnight EST on Wednesday, June 27th, we have raised just over $3000! Can you imagine that? In just over 5 days, we have raised an average of $600 a day! And with four days left, I am convinced that this number is going to continue to increase. I know that in today’s world, things tend to flare up and die quickly, and things become yesterday’s news lightning-fast, but four more days of support and generosity is not too much to ask in this situation. Keep spreading the word, keep talking to your friends, and keep giving.
And now, Thursday’s post:
In 100 Things: Part 1, I told you 21 things about my family. Then, in 100 Things: Part 2, I told you 19 eccentric things about myself. Then, 100 Things: Part 3 was about my wife. Now it’s time for Part 4:
100 Things: Weird and Cool Things I’ve Seen or Done
40. When I was 14, my family had a foreign exchange student from Spain named Pablo staying with us. We had a great time and went on plenty of adventures. One night, while running around the neighborhood, we saw a giant glowing UFO hovering over a neighbor’s house. We ran to the house and saw this giant hovering shape the size of a small house floating and humming, and then it lowered into the trees. We ran into the trees, and it disappeared.
39. I’ve stood at someone’s head and stared into their open chest cavity as a surgeon performed open heart surgery. The cauterizing tool makes the searing flesh smell like pork.
37. As a teen working for my uncle, who hung window tint in people’s homes, I worked in the homes of John Travolta, Madonna, and the parents of Jack Davis, one of MAD’s artists. The last one was the coolest, because his art was hanging all over the house.
36. I took my 1984 Chrysler Fifth Avenue off-roading, and managed to drive over a dirt hill that caused my car to catch about 5 feet of air.
35. One Fourth of July when I was 7 or 8, we were all laying on the side of the river in Ormond Beach watching the professional fireworks over the river. Laying on my back, looking up, we watched the explosion and the subsequent arcs as the embers floated down. I pointed to one and said, “Boy, that one looks like it’s actually coming down to us.” Well, it was. Pretty soon, the entire area where we were was engulfed in flames. A man standing next to my baby brother, who had a huge ‘fro at that point, had his hair catch fire. Everyone was screaming and running around. It was utter chaos.
34. Driving up to college one year, I watched as a car going in the opposite direction turned, spun, and then flipped end over end across all the lanes of oncoming traffic, the median, and then all of our lanes of traffic and landed on the passenger side in the breakdown lane. Then I watched some people run up to the smoking, sparking car and yank out a small Asian woman from the shattered window of the upended car, carrying her to a safe distance. She was completely unharmed. And then the car exploded.
33. In Los Angeles, there was a motorcycle cop going down the 5, driving erratically. He was in the far left lane, and would not let anyone get close to him or pass him in any of the 6 lanes going the same way. Every time a car got close, he would wave them off viciously. Finally, he got off at an exit that was the same as our exit. On the curve of the exit, I accelerated and got right on his tail, and then pulled up next to him at the stop light. I rolled my window down and said, “What the fuck is your problem? Why were you driving like that?” The officer was sweating like a pig, shaking like a leaf, and looked like he was about to cry. I think possibly it was his first time on a motorcycle and he was scared. He yelled, “What are you doing? You need to read your driving manual! You’re a bad driver!” At which point my wife started cracking up. I berated the officer for another minute before the light turned green and he roared off at top speed. That is the only time that I’ve ever pulled over a police officer.
32. I once fell about 15 feet straight down and ended up with nothing more than the wind knocked out of me.
31. I invented a household product, had plans drawn up, and had a prototype manufactured that is actually in my kitchen. Once I have the time, I’m going to fix the bugs and sell it on a mass scale.