Old Lady

 

Today is the birthday of a blogger whom I've been reading for a very long time - one of my favorite bloggers, the Horny Horndog, the Perky Perv, Poppy! To celebrate her birthday, I thought I'd share some little known facts about little ol' Poppy:

  • She says she's in France. Others say she's in Louisiana or Idaho. But the truth is that she surfs the web via satellite connection aboard her ark, which contains two of every animal in the world. She floats the seven seas, surfing the web, growing a small garden, and drinking her urine which was filtered ala Waterworld.
  • She's turning 33. However, her boobs are 4, her nose is 6, and left arm is 1 (it's cybernetic).
  • She has 135 cats. And they're all named Kitty.
  • When Poppy drinks, she likes to go down to bars and beat up the biggest, strongest biker she can find. She's banned from 14 bars in her home state now.
  • Poppy has an amazing ability to take any word or phrase and turn it into some type of sexual come-on. It's quite impressive!
  • She can eat a 96 oz. steak in four bites.
  • They Might Be Giants once did a song dedicated to her called "Poppy smoppy foppy woppy".
  • She has a tattoo that says "Fuck you, I'm walking here" on her inside thigh, next to a mole shaped like a four-leaf clover.

Happy birthday, Poppy! Here's some artwork for you, but you can click it for the high res version!

Poppy and the Ark

56 comments

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  1.  

    You are such a sweetheart.

    You are never living this down.

    I totally stole that artwork.

    I eat 96 oz steaks in one bite. Duh.

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:08 am

     

  2.  

    (And thank you. heartbeat )

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:08 am

     

  3.  

    Oh, just stopped by to see Miss Poppy, very cool.
    Feliz Compleanos! clap

    Comments by Princess Victoria

    comment by Princess Victoria Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:17 am

     

  4.  

    Poppy! You're old now! Woo hoo!

    Comments by RW

    comment by RW Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:22 am

     

  5.  

    Gracias, Princess Victoria.

    RW, never going to be as old as you, sweetie. P

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:26 am

     

  6.  

    Happy Birthday Poppy!! heartbeat

    Great artwork, Adam!

    Comments by Angel

    comment by Angel Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:28 am

     

  7.  

    You sir, draw a mighty fine monkey!

    Comments by Dave2

    comment by Dave2 Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:32 am

     

  8.  

    Thanks, Angel. batting I'm glad to see you're around!

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:06 am

     

  9.  

    Ow. Thee hath spitted me on a petard of mine own sad dubiousness. I await, smote.

    Comments by RW

    comment by RW Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:09 am

     

  10.  

    Your welcome Poppy, I hope that you have a great day today.

    I've been around here and there, reading a lot, but not commenting much because I have been busier than one legged man in an ass-kicking contest. In addition to being busy, I am stealing every moment that I can to read my book.

    Comments by Angel

    comment by Angel Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:45 am

     

  11.  

    RW - I am drunk for my birthday. I understand 10% of your words. Say it all again.

    Angel - What have you been busy with?! MAybe I shouldb e reading hte boobie blog. And not being so drunk when I write co mments. becuae I make a lot of typos when im drun. P

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:50 am

     

  12.  

    I better get some artwork for my goddam birthday. I'm just sayin'.

    Comments by Mr. Fabulous

    comment by Mr. Fabulous Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:37 am

     

  13.  

    Poppy, happy birthday, Drunkie McDrunk!

    Princess V, that's "cumpleanos". Jeez! :)

    RW, you get hoisted on your own petard a lot, don't you?

    Angel, thanks! My animals are almost photorealistic, aren't they? You haven't finished HP yet?

    Dave, that's quite a compliment coming from you.

    Mr. Fab, unless you're hiding a vagina I don't know about, we'll see. I don't even know when your birthday is!

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:41 am

     

  14.  

    Happy Birthday Poppy!! Love the cat Avitable! (You need a smiley with boobs blowing out candles on a birthday cake)

    Comments by Trish K

    comment by Trish K Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:55 am

     

  15.  

    We all love us some Poppy.

    Comments by heather

    comment by heather Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 6:46 am

     

  16.  

    Poppy, that's a nice looking beaver on your ark! Happy Birthday!

    Comments by DaisyJo

    comment by DaisyJo Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 6:56 am

     

  17.  

    No Adam, I haven't finished yet...it seemed that as soon as I got the book every living person or animal within a ten hour drive of me (in my family) needed my attention for some reason or another. I have been pretty busy dealing with them, and really have not had more than two hours (total) to read HP.

    Comments by Angel

    comment by Angel Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 7:58 am

     

  18.  

    I'm still drunk. P martini P martini

    Thanks, Trish!

    Heather, we (Poppy) loves us (Poppy) some Heather.

    DaisyJo, my beaver is gorgeous. Hehehehehe.

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:01 am

     

  19.  

    There's all kinds of Poppy love in here today!! heartbeat heartbeat heartbeat heartbeat martini martini heartbeat heartbeat martini martini

    Comments by Angel

    comment by Angel Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:30 am

     

  20.  

    Happy birthday, Poppy.

    One question on the artwork, is the bear getting ready to violate that horse ?

    Comments by Paticus

    comment by Paticus Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:38 am

     

  21.  

    Oh geez, so if she calls "kitty" she'll probably die right then and there.

    Comments by Mistress Yoda

    comment by Mistress Yoda Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:42 am

     

  22.  

    Happy Birthday Poppy!

    And I think this may be a first - COLORED Avitable Art!

    Comments by Miss Britt

    comment by Miss Britt Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:49 am

     

  23.  

    Thanks Paticus and Britt. :)

    He has done color art for the weeks in review! I distinctly remember my strawberry oreo having a pink center.

    *giggle*

    Still drunk.

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 9:28 am

     

  24.  

    TrishK, my cat drawing skills are top notch.

    Heather, that we do.

    DaisyJo, it's not shaved, either.

    Angel, excuses, excuses.

    Paticus, no, the bear is just friendly.

    Mistress Yoda, yeah, good point.

    Here Britty Britty, that's African American Avitable Art.

    Poppy, this is the first almost fully colored artwork, I think.

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 9:40 am

     

  25.  

    Very nice!

    Happy Birthday to the Kitty Lady.

    boobs4

    Comments by themuttprincess

    comment by themuttprincess Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 10:17 am

     

  26.  

    Poppy rocks!
    woohoo
    Peace.......................
    clap

    Comments by Helen

    comment by Helen Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 10:19 am

     

  27.  

    boobs5 boobs1 boobs3 HAPPY POPPYDAY!!! sex023 3some bukkake

    martini still drunk? HAVE FUN!! martini heartbeat heartbeat

    August 28th Avi...your drawings are AWESOME. boobs2 There, I flashed you for a drawing.

    Comments by Tug

    comment by Tug Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 10:49 am

     

  28.  

    Hoppy B-day, Pappy!

    Is that bear humping the horse? Or is my brain just distorted by your usually nasty drawings?

    Comments by annie

    comment by annie Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:08 pm

     

  29.  

    I felt special before but now I feel REALLY special.

    I think I'm going to start a special people club.

    (BWAHAHAHA! Oh, I so need to buy myself a copy of that movie. OOOH, or buy myself the necklace!!!!)

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:11 pm

     

  30.  

    TMP, thanks. :)

    Helen, awwwwww, you're so sweet!

    Tug, I'M HUNG OVER. Thanks for all my favorite smilies!!!!! And for the card I haven't looked at yet. :)

    Thanks, Annie.

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:13 pm

     

  31.  

    Very nice art work, Avi. My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Whatcha gonna draw for me?

    Happy Birthday Poppy!

    Comments by Dragon

    comment by Dragon Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:14 pm

     

  32.  

    Oh no, now you've started something. All the lovelies want your artwork for their bdays now. ;)

    Dragon, thanks!!

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:17 pm

     

  33.  

    martini Have some hair of the dog Poppy...bloody mary anyone? boobs4 sex003

    Comments by Tug

    comment by Tug Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:19 pm

     

  34.  

    Happy Birthday Poppy!!!!!

    Comments by Amy

    comment by Amy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:20 pm

     

  35.  

    Tug, ugh, green.

    Amy, thanks!!!! :) :)

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:28 pm

     

  36.  

    Wow, I just read this post over again while sober and I'm so glad I did because the only thing I remember from last night is "steak".

    My tits are not 4! They're real!

    But everything else you said is completely true. Especially about the come-ons. (and I'll leave the obvious follow-up to that unsaid. ;)

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:55 pm

     

  37.  

    TMP, in a few years we can call her the Crazy Cat Lady.

    Helen, peace? Poppy's all about war and danger!

    Tug, oh, so you think I'm going to do special posts for everyone now, eh?

    Annie, he's just a friendly bear.

    Poppy, you're just now reading the post sober? Heh.

    Dragon, you'll have to email me a naked picture of yourself, first.

    Amy, what, no compliments on my awesome art? Fine, bitch!

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:57 pm

     

  38.  

    Oh no, absolutely not. Just if we're "spesh".

    and no, not that kind of spesh.
    P

    Comments by Tug

    comment by Tug Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 2:16 pm

     

  39.  

    It would take a lot more than a pretty picture for me to do that and I'm not sure you could handle it, Avi.

    Comments by Dragon

    comment by Dragon Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 2:57 pm

     

  40.  

    I came up with a theory...while I was drunk. That involved an ark and how it would manage to get rid of animal waste. The floors would slant towards a drainage pipe that could be flushed out to sea. One would use sea water to push the poo(s) and other matter to the drainage pipe. The only problem I've come up with (seeing as how poo in the ocean was not a big deal then) is how to make sure water doesn't come up through the drainage holes when you open to flush out the matter.

    Comments by Brandi

    comment by Brandi Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 4:08 pm

     

  41.  

    Naturally.

    I always wanted to be that crazy old lady. I may have to ask her for pointers.

    Comments by themuttprincess

    comment by themuttprincess Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:04 pm

     

  42.  

    Dude, I was drunk all morning! When you talked to me earlier I was just barely on this side of sober. Too bad for you. P

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 7:19 pm

     

  43.  

    I've never heard of Poppy before, but in the name of all that's holy I'm SO going over there right now to acquaint myself. She sounds like my kinda freak.

    Comments by DangerDoll

    comment by DangerDoll Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 7:59 pm

     

  44.  

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm not a freak!!!

    Avi has an overactive imagination and I'm a liar.

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:08 pm

     

  45.  

    Happy Birthday Poppy!

    But, honestly, I just wanted to say HI to Avi :)

    Comments by stephanie

    comment by stephanie Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:42 pm

     

  46.  

    Thanks Steph, despite your motivation. ;) I have no idea why so many people are wishing me happy birthday just because he posted about it...

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:45 pm

     

  47.  

    I felt funny NOT wishing you a happy birthday after reading an entire post about it... but, the sentiment is honest, I hope you know that :)

    Comments by stephanie

    comment by stephanie Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:47 pm

     

  48.  

    Thanks, I understand and genuinely appreciate that.

    We're all here for the Avi party, so I totally understand that too. batting

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:53 pm

     

  49.  

    Well, I came by to show Avi some love, but got to wish you a happy birthday too...

    It's all good, and I hope 33 is a GREAT year for you!

    Comments by stephanie

    comment by stephanie Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:59 pm

     

  50.  

    So far? Pretty fucking amazing.

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 9:09 pm

     

  51.  

    YAY! AWESOME!!!! :D

    I hope it's an amazing year for you!

    Comments by stephanie

    comment by stephanie Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 9:13 pm

     

  52.  

    Tug, well, I only do birthday posts for that type of spesh. You didn't know that Poppy, Heather, and Britt were retarded? :D

    Dragon, oh, I can handle it!

    Brandi, I have a theory that maybe you should stop drinking.

    TMP, from the sounds of it, you're close already.

    Poppy, I don't have an overactive imagination. It's all true!

    DangerDoll, she's the freakiest!

    Steph, hi! Don't see you around here that often anymore.

    Comments by Avitable

    comment by Avitable Thursday, July 26, 2007 @ 9:42 am

     

  53.  

    MY BOOBS ARE REAL. ERGO, you have an overactive imagination.

    Whose computer are you on???

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Thursday, July 26, 2007 @ 12:22 pm

     

  54.  

    Avitable artwork is priceless.

    Happy birthday Poppy!

    Comments by Sarcastica

    comment by Sarcastica Friday, July 27, 2007 @ 9:54 pm

     

  55.  

    Thanks, Sarcastica. :)

    Comments by Poppy

    comment by Poppy Friday, July 27, 2007 @ 10:00 pm

     

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