Today is the birthday of a blogger whom I’ve been reading for a very long time – one of my favorite bloggers, the Horny Horndog, the Perky Perv, Poppy! To celebrate her birthday, I thought I’d share some little known facts about little ol’ Poppy:
- She says she’s in France. Others say she’s in Louisiana or Idaho. But the truth is that she surfs the web via satellite connection aboard her ark, which contains two of every animal in the world. She floats the seven seas, surfing the web, growing a small garden, and drinking her urine which was filtered ala Waterworld.
- She’s turning 33. However, her boobs are 4, her nose is 6, and left arm is 1 (it’s cybernetic).
- She has 135 cats. And they’re all named Kitty.
- When Poppy drinks, she likes to go down to bars and beat up the biggest, strongest biker she can find. She’s banned from 14 bars in her home state now.
- Poppy has an amazing ability to take any word or phrase and turn it into some type of sexual come-on. It’s quite impressive!
- She can eat a 96 oz. steak in four bites.
- They Might Be Giants once did a song dedicated to her called “Poppy smoppy foppy woppy”.
- She has a tattoo that says “Fuck you, I’m walking here” on her inside thigh, next to a mole shaped like a four-leaf clover.
Happy birthday, Poppy! Here’s some artwork for you, but you can click it for the high res version!