Avitable » Old Lady

Today is the birthday of a blogger whom I've been reading for a very long time - one of my favorite bloggers, the Horny Horndog, the Perky Perv, Poppy! To celebrate her birthday, I thought I'd share some little known facts about little ol' Poppy:

She says she's in France. Others say she's in Louisiana or Idaho. But the truth is that she surfs the web via satellite connection aboard her ark, which contains two of every animal in the world. She floats the seven seas, surfing the web, growing a small garden, and drinking her urine which was filtered ala Waterworld.
She's turning 33. However, her boobs are 4, her nose is 6, and left arm is 1 (it's cybernetic).
She has 135 cats. And they're all named Kitty.
When Poppy drinks, she likes to go down to bars and beat up the biggest, strongest biker she can find. She's banned from 14 bars in her home state now.
Poppy has an amazing ability to take any word or phrase and turn it into some type of sexual come-on. It's quite impressive!
She can eat a 96 oz. steak in four bites.
They Might Be Giants once did a song dedicated to her called "Poppy smoppy foppy woppy".
She has a tattoo that says "Fuck you, I'm walking here" on her inside thigh, next to a mole shaped like a four-leaf clover.

Happy birthday, Poppy! Here's some artwork for you, but you can click it for the high res version!

You are such a sweetheart.

You are never living this down.

I totally stole that artwork.

I eat 96 oz steaks in one bite. Duh.

Comments by Poppy

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:08 am

(And thank you. )

Oh, just stopped by to see Miss Poppy, very cool.
Feliz Compleanos!

Comments by Princess Victoria

comment by Princess Victoria Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:17 am

Poppy! You're old now! Woo hoo!

Comments by RW

comment by RW Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:22 am

Gracias, Princess Victoria.

RW, never going to be as old as you, sweetie.

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:26 am

Happy Birthday Poppy!!

Great artwork, Adam!

Comments by Angel

comment by Angel Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:28 am

You sir, draw a mighty fine monkey!

Comments by Dave2

comment by Dave2 Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:32 am

Thanks, Angel. I'm glad to see you're around!

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:06 am

Ow. Thee hath spitted me on a petard of mine own sad dubiousness. I await, smote.

comment by RW Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:09 am

Your welcome Poppy, I hope that you have a great day today.

I've been around here and there, reading a lot, but not commenting much because I have been busier than one legged man in an ass-kicking contest. In addition to being busy, I am stealing every moment that I can to read my book.

comment by Angel Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:45 am

RW - I am drunk for my birthday. I understand 10% of your words. Say it all again.

Angel - What have you been busy with?! MAybe I shouldb e reading hte boobie blog. And not being so drunk when I write co mments. becuae I make a lot of typos when im drun.

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:50 am

(Avi, shut UP! )

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:51 am

I better get some artwork for my goddam birthday. I'm just sayin'.

Comments by Mr. Fabulous

comment by Mr. Fabulous Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:37 am

Poppy, happy birthday, Drunkie McDrunk!

Princess V, that's "cumpleanos". Jeez! :)

RW, you get hoisted on your own petard a lot, don't you?

Angel, thanks! My animals are almost photorealistic, aren't they? You haven't finished HP yet?

Dave, that's quite a compliment coming from you.

Mr. Fab, unless you're hiding a vagina I don't know about, we'll see. I don't even know when your birthday is!

Comments by Avitable

comment by Avitable Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:41 am

Happy Birthday Poppy!! Love the cat Avitable! (You need a smiley with boobs blowing out candles on a birthday cake)

Comments by Trish K

comment by Trish K Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:55 am

We all love us some Poppy.

Comments by heather

comment by heather Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 6:46 am

Poppy, that's a nice looking beaver on your ark! Happy Birthday!

Comments by DaisyJo

comment by DaisyJo Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 6:56 am

No Adam, I haven't finished yet...it seemed that as soon as I got the book every living person or animal within a ten hour drive of me (in my family) needed my attention for some reason or another. I have been pretty busy dealing with them, and really have not had more than two hours (total) to read HP.

comment by Angel Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 7:58 am

I'm still drunk.

Thanks, Trish!

Heather, we (Poppy) loves us (Poppy) some Heather.

DaisyJo, my beaver is gorgeous. Hehehehehe.

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:01 am

There's all kinds of Poppy love in here today!!

comment by Angel Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:30 am

Happy birthday, Poppy.

One question on the artwork, is the bear getting ready to violate that horse ?

Comments by Paticus

comment by Paticus Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:38 am

Oh geez, so if she calls "kitty" she'll probably die right then and there.

Comments by Mistress Yoda

comment by Mistress Yoda Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:42 am

Happy Birthday Poppy!

And I think this may be a first - COLORED Avitable Art!

Comments by Miss Britt

comment by Miss Britt Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:49 am

Thanks Paticus and Britt. :)

He has done color art for the weeks in review! I distinctly remember my strawberry oreo having a pink center.

*giggle*

Still drunk.

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 9:28 am

TrishK, my cat drawing skills are top notch.

Heather, that we do.

DaisyJo, it's not shaved, either.

Angel, excuses, excuses.

Paticus, no, the bear is just friendly.

Mistress Yoda, yeah, good point.

Here Britty Britty, that's African American Avitable Art.

Poppy, this is the first almost fully colored artwork, I think.

comment by Avitable Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 9:40 am

Very nice!

Happy Birthday to the Kitty Lady.

Comments by themuttprincess

comment by themuttprincess Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 10:17 am

Poppy rocks!

Peace.......................

Comments by Helen

comment by Helen Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 10:19 am

HAPPY POPPYDAY!!!

still drunk? HAVE FUN!!

August 28th Avi...your drawings are AWESOME. There, I flashed you for a drawing.

Comments by Tug

comment by Tug Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 10:49 am

Hoppy B-day, Pappy!

Is that bear humping the horse? Or is my brain just distorted by your usually nasty drawings?

Comments by annie

comment by annie Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:08 pm

I felt special before but now I feel REALLY special.

I think I'm going to start a special people club.

(BWAHAHAHA! Oh, I so need to buy myself a copy of that movie. OOOH, or buy myself the necklace!!!!)

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:11 pm

TMP, thanks. :)

Helen, awwwwww, you're so sweet!

Tug, I'M HUNG OVER. Thanks for all my favorite smilies!!!!! And for the card I haven't looked at yet. :)

Thanks, Annie.

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:13 pm

Very nice art work, Avi. My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Whatcha gonna draw for me?

Comments by Dragon

comment by Dragon Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:14 pm

Oh no, now you've started something. All the lovelies want your artwork for their bdays now. ;)

Dragon, thanks!!

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:17 pm

Have some hair of the dog Poppy...bloody mary anyone?

comment by Tug Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:19 pm

Happy Birthday Poppy!!!!!

Comments by Amy

comment by Amy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:20 pm

Tug, ugh, green.

Amy, thanks!!!! :) :)

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:28 pm

Wow, I just read this post over again while sober and I'm so glad I did because the only thing I remember from last night is "steak".

My tits are not 4! They're real!

But everything else you said is completely true. Especially about the come-ons. (and I'll leave the obvious follow-up to that unsaid. ;)

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 12:55 pm

TMP, in a few years we can call her the Crazy Cat Lady.

Helen, peace? Poppy's all about war and danger!

Tug, oh, so you think I'm going to do special posts for everyone now, eh?

Annie, he's just a friendly bear.

Poppy, you're just now reading the post sober? Heh.

Dragon, you'll have to email me a naked picture of yourself, first.

Amy, what, no compliments on my awesome art? Fine, bitch!

comment by Avitable Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 1:57 pm

Oh no, absolutely not. Just if we're "spesh".

and no, not that kind of spesh.

comment by Tug Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 2:16 pm

It would take a lot more than a pretty picture for me to do that and I'm not sure you could handle it, Avi.

comment by Dragon Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 2:57 pm

I came up with a theory...while I was drunk. That involved an ark and how it would manage to get rid of animal waste. The floors would slant towards a drainage pipe that could be flushed out to sea. One would use sea water to push the poo(s) and other matter to the drainage pipe. The only problem I've come up with (seeing as how poo in the ocean was not a big deal then) is how to make sure water doesn't come up through the drainage holes when you open to flush out the matter.

Comments by Brandi

comment by Brandi Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 4:08 pm

Naturally.

I always wanted to be that crazy old lady. I may have to ask her for pointers.

comment by themuttprincess Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:04 pm

Dude, I was drunk all morning! When you talked to me earlier I was just barely on this side of sober. Too bad for you.

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 7:19 pm

I've never heard of Poppy before, but in the name of all that's holy I'm SO going over there right now to acquaint myself. She sounds like my kinda freak.

Comments by DangerDoll

comment by DangerDoll Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 7:59 pm

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm not a freak!!!

Avi has an overactive imagination and I'm a liar.

comment by Poppy Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 8:08 pm