Old Lady
Today is the birthday of a blogger whom I've been reading for a very long time – one of my favorite bloggers, the Horny Horndog, the Perky Perv, Poppy! To celebrate her birthday, I thought I'd share some little known facts about little ol' Poppy:
- She says she's in France. Others say she's in Louisiana or Idaho. But the truth is that she surfs the web via satellite connection aboard her ark, which contains two of every animal in the world. She floats the seven seas, surfing the web, growing a small garden, and drinking her urine which was filtered ala Waterworld.
- She's turning 33. However, her boobs are 4, her nose is 6, and left arm is 1 (it's cybernetic).
- She has 135 cats. And they're all named Kitty.
- When Poppy drinks, she likes to go down to bars and beat up the biggest, strongest biker she can find. She's banned from 14 bars in her home state now.
- Poppy has an amazing ability to take any word or phrase and turn it into some type of sexual come-on. It's quite impressive!
- She can eat a 96 oz. steak in four bites.
- They Might Be Giants once did a song dedicated to her called "Poppy smoppy foppy woppy".
- She has a tattoo that says "Fuck you, I'm walking here" on her inside thigh, next to a mole shaped like a four-leaf clover.
Happy birthday, Poppy! Here's some artwork for you, but you can click it for the high res version!
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Posted in 
You are such a sweetheart.
You are never living this down.
I totally stole that artwork.
I eat 96 oz steaks in one bite. Duh.
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(And thank you. :heartbeat: )
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Oh, just stopped by to see Miss Poppy, very cool.
Feliz Compleanos! :clap:
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Poppy! You're old now! Woo hoo!
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Gracias, Princess Victoria.
RW, never going to be as old as you, sweetie.
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Happy Birthday Poppy!! :heartbeat:
Great artwork, Adam!
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You sir, draw a mighty fine monkey!
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Thanks, Angel. :batting: I'm glad to see you're around!
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Ow. Thee hath spitted me on a petard of mine own sad dubiousness. I await, smote.
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Your welcome Poppy, I hope that you have a great day today.
I've been around here and there, reading a lot, but not commenting much because I have been busier than one legged man in an ass-kicking contest. In addition to being busy, I am stealing every moment that I can to read my book.
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RW – I am drunk for my birthday. I understand 10% of your words. Say it all again.
Angel – What have you been busy with?! MAybe I shouldb e reading hte boobie blog. And not being so drunk when I write co mments. becuae I make a lot of typos when im drun.
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(Avi, shut UP! :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :martini: )
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I better get some artwork for my goddam birthday. I'm just sayin'.
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Poppy, happy birthday, Drunkie McDrunk!
Princess V, that's "cumpleanos". Jeez!
RW, you get hoisted on your own petard a lot, don't you?
Angel, thanks! My animals are almost photorealistic, aren't they? You haven't finished HP yet?
Dave, that's quite a compliment coming from you.
Mr. Fab, unless you're hiding a vagina I don't know about, we'll see. I don't even know when your birthday is!
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Happy Birthday Poppy!! Love the cat Avitable! (You need a smiley with boobs blowing out candles on a birthday cake)
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We all love us some Poppy.
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Poppy, that's a nice looking beaver on your ark! Happy Birthday!
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No Adam, I haven't finished yet…it seemed that as soon as I got the book every living person or animal within a ten hour drive of me (in my family) needed my attention for some reason or another. I have been pretty busy dealing with them, and really have not had more than two hours (total) to read HP.
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I'm still drunk.
:martini: 
:martini:
Thanks, Trish!
Heather, we (Poppy) loves us (Poppy) some Heather.
DaisyJo, my beaver is gorgeous. Hehehehehe.
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There's all kinds of Poppy love in here today!! :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :martini: :martini: :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :martini: :martini:
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Happy birthday, Poppy.
One question on the artwork, is the bear getting ready to violate that horse ?
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Oh geez, so if she calls "kitty" she'll probably die right then and there.
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Happy Birthday Poppy!
And I think this may be a first – COLORED Avitable Art!
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Thanks Paticus and Britt.
He has done color art for the weeks in review! I distinctly remember my strawberry oreo having a pink center.
*giggle*
Still drunk.
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TrishK, my cat drawing skills are top notch.
Heather, that we do.
DaisyJo, it's not shaved, either.
Angel, excuses, excuses.
Paticus, no, the bear is just friendly.
Mistress Yoda, yeah, good point.
Here Britty Britty, that's African American Avitable Art.
Poppy, this is the first almost fully colored artwork, I think.
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Very nice!
Happy Birthday to the Kitty Lady.
:boobs4:
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Poppy rocks!
:woohoo:
Peace…………………..
:clap:
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:boobs5: :boobs1: :boobs3: HAPPY POPPYDAY!!! :sex023: :3some: :bukkake:
:martini: still drunk? HAVE FUN!! :martini: :heartbeat: :heartbeat:
August 28th Avi…your drawings are AWESOME. :boobs2: There, I flashed you for a drawing.
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Hoppy B-day, Pappy!
Is that bear humping the horse? Or is my brain just distorted by your usually nasty drawings?
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I felt special before but now I feel REALLY special.
I think I'm going to start a special people club.
(BWAHAHAHA! Oh, I so need to buy myself a copy of that movie. OOOH, or buy myself the necklace!!!!)
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TMP, thanks.
Helen, awwwwww, you're so sweet!
Tug, I'M HUNG OVER. Thanks for all my favorite smilies!!!!! And for the card I haven't looked at yet.
Thanks, Annie.
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Very nice art work, Avi. My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Whatcha gonna draw for me?
Happy Birthday Poppy!
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Oh no, now you've started something. All the lovelies want your artwork for their bdays now.
Dragon, thanks!!
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:martini: Have some hair of the dog Poppy…bloody mary anyone? :boobs4: :sex003:
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Happy Birthday Poppy!!!!!
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Tug, ugh, green.
Amy, thanks!!!!
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Wow, I just read this post over again while sober and I'm so glad I did because the only thing I remember from last night is "steak".
My tits are not 4! They're real!
But everything else you said is completely true. Especially about the come-ons. (and I'll leave the obvious follow-up to that unsaid.
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TMP, in a few years we can call her the Crazy Cat Lady.
Helen, peace? Poppy's all about war and danger!
Tug, oh, so you think I'm going to do special posts for everyone now, eh?
Annie, he's just a friendly bear.
Poppy, you're just now reading the post sober? Heh.
Dragon, you'll have to email me a naked picture of yourself, first.
Amy, what, no compliments on my awesome art? Fine, bitch!
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Oh no, absolutely not. Just if we're "spesh".
and no, not that kind of spesh.
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It would take a lot more than a pretty picture for me to do that and I'm not sure you could handle it, Avi.
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I came up with a theory…while I was drunk. That involved an ark and how it would manage to get rid of animal waste. The floors would slant towards a drainage pipe that could be flushed out to sea. One would use sea water to push the poo(s) and other matter to the drainage pipe. The only problem I've come up with (seeing as how poo in the ocean was not a big deal then) is how to make sure water doesn't come up through the drainage holes when you open to flush out the matter.
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Naturally.
I always wanted to be that crazy old lady. I may have to ask her for pointers.
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Dude, I was drunk all morning! When you talked to me earlier I was just barely on this side of sober. Too bad for you.
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I've never heard of Poppy before, but in the name of all that's holy I'm SO going over there right now to acquaint myself. She sounds like my kinda freak.
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BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm not a freak!!!
Avi has an overactive imagination and I'm a liar.
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Happy Birthday Poppy!
But, honestly, I just wanted to say HI to Avi
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Thanks Steph, despite your motivation.
I have no idea why so many people are wishing me happy birthday just because he posted about it…
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I felt funny NOT wishing you a happy birthday after reading an entire post about it… but, the sentiment is honest, I hope you know that
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Thanks, I understand and genuinely appreciate that.
We're all here for the Avi party, so I totally understand that too. :batting:
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Well, I came by to show Avi some love, but got to wish you a happy birthday too…
It's all good, and I hope 33 is a GREAT year for you!
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So far? Pretty fucking amazing.
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YAY! AWESOME!!!!
I hope it's an amazing year for you!
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Tug, well, I only do birthday posts for that type of spesh. You didn't know that Poppy, Heather, and Britt were retarded?
Dragon, oh, I can handle it!
Brandi, I have a theory that maybe you should stop drinking.
TMP, from the sounds of it, you're close already.
Poppy, I don't have an overactive imagination. It's all true!
DangerDoll, she's the freakiest!
Steph, hi! Don't see you around here that often anymore.
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MY BOOBS ARE REAL. ERGO, you have an overactive imagination.
Whose computer are you on???
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Avitable artwork is priceless.
Happy birthday Poppy!
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Thanks, Sarcastica.
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