Diet Coke with Lime

I love Diet Coke with Lime. With the exception of the occasional regular Diet Coke, it is all that I drink. And sometimes, late at night, when I'm drinking an entire can in about two sips, I reach a state of Diet Coke Nirvana where I can see it in all of its splendor. When this happens, I feel obligated to share its wonders:

  • It has curative powers. Anytime that I'm sick, whether it's a sore throat, cough, headache, or upset stomach, a Diet Coke cures it. All you losers can take Vitamin C and Echinacea and Dimetapp. I'll just have a few cans of Diet Coke. I've even poured it on cuts to clean out the wound, and once when I cut my toe off, a little Diet Coke acted as glue until the skin grew back together.
  • It tastes heavenly. It's a sharp, crisp taste that usually results in a satisfying belch later. What could be better?
  • It goes with anything. Steak and Diet Coke? No problem. Waffles and Diet Coke? Perfect. Birthday Cake and Diet Coke? Awesome.
  • It won't ruin a party. Walking around a party with a glass of Diet Coke that has a wedge of lime in it keeps all the morons from continuously asking you why you don't drink alcohol. Plus, as much Diet Coke as I drink, it means that people give me leeway when I strip naked and give all the women lap dances because they think I'm wasted.
  • It's an aphrodisiac. This might not be scientifically proven, but when I give the neighborhood dogs Diet Coke with Lime, and then lay naked on the ground with peanut butter smeared on my ass, they go fucking crazy.
  • It's the perfect size for fitting in your ass! And if that doesn't sell you on the awesomeness of Diet Coke with Lime, I don't know what will.

All Praise Diet Coke with Lime!

If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!

49 Responses to “Diet Coke with Lime”

Leave a Reply

My Amazon.com Wish List

Dancing Avitable

Dancing Avitable from Adam Avitable on Vimeo.

Good for the Kids