I love Diet Coke with Lime. With the exception of the occasional regular Diet Coke, it is all that I drink. And sometimes, late at night, when I'm drinking an entire can in about two sips, I reach a state of Diet Coke Nirvana where I can see it in all of its splendor. When this happens, I feel obligated to share its wonders:
- It has curative powers. Anytime that I'm sick, whether it's a sore throat, cough, headache, or upset stomach, a Diet Coke cures it. All you losers can take Vitamin C and Echinacea and Dimetapp. I'll just have a few cans of Diet Coke. I've even poured it on cuts to clean out the wound, and once when I cut my toe off, a little Diet Coke acted as glue until the skin grew back together.
- It tastes heavenly. It's a sharp, crisp taste that usually results in a satisfying belch later. What could be better?
- It goes with anything. Steak and Diet Coke? No problem. Waffles and Diet Coke? Perfect. Birthday Cake and Diet Coke? Awesome.
- It won't ruin a party. Walking around a party with a glass of Diet Coke that has a wedge of lime in it keeps all the morons from continuously asking you why you don't drink alcohol. Plus, as much Diet Coke as I drink, it means that people give me leeway when I strip naked and give all the women lap dances because they think I'm wasted.
- It's an aphrodisiac. This might not be scientifically proven, but when I give the neighborhood dogs Diet Coke with Lime, and then lay naked on the ground with peanut butter smeared on my ass, they go fucking crazy.
- It's the perfect size for fitting in your ass! And if that doesn't sell you on the awesomeness of Diet Coke with Lime, I don't know what will.
All Praise Diet Coke with Lime!
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First!
What did you say Adam?
Comments by RW
Sob! You bastard!
Comments by Dave2
While I've never quite put it in my ASS, I do have to say that the limey goodness goes good with everything...you are right!
Comments by Hilly
Wow, you're absolutely right! My ass never had it so good.
I even experienced that satisfying belch! Although technically, I suppose it was actually a fart, I still enjoyed it immensely.
Thank you Mr. Avitable!
Comments by AnnieB
Nothing better than a carbonated soda belch, although I prefer Coke zero.
(Can't sleep.)
Comments by Poppy
FIRST of all, that thing is so not going in my
. Secondly, I detest diet coke with lime. PEPSI is the shit! 
Comments by Angel
I am now seriously obsessed with the size of your rectum. Damn you, Adam.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Avitable - This post is completely USELESS without photos. USELESS I say.
Comments by Jester
Wow, this reminds me a bit of an article I read on Scientology.
Comments by Amy
I could write the exact same post about Coke Zero, except I can fit two cans in my ass.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
So you're on the diet coke with lime, whereas Dave2 is on the full strength sugar rush coke with lime. I wonder how the sugar factor effects your blogging.
Comments by MRKisThatKid
You're supposed to put the whole can in your ass??? I was just giving myself Diet Coke enemas in the morning. It's good for what ails ya.
Comments by ADW
I'm with Poppy and Mr. Fab(minus the cans in my ass), Coke Zero is where it's at. Cherry Coke Zero is heavenly as well.
Comments by Paticus
GAH! Apparently this morning I'm having one of those very visual imagination days. You, dog, peanut butter ass... I think I can actually see the bruising on my thighs from that dance.
Comments by Miss Britt
Is Diet Coke your mistresses name?
Comments by Mistress Yoda
You should go tell Dave about the curative properties.
Comments by Wayne
er, your ass can fit a can of diet coke (with lime)?
whoa man, what kind of monkey business you into
Comments by Crys
oh my god
Comments by Crys
two more comments and I AM TOP COMMENTER!
Comments by Crys
granted it is only August 2nd.
Comments by Crys
I love Diet Coke with Lime.... I think it is because, like a fine wine, it goes with everything.
It is the accessory that is always chic. (like boobs)
Comments by themuttprincess
Coke... good in your ass. Stellar. That is about the only place fit for it... as I am a Pepsi kind of girl.
Comments by MsFreud
RW, *ahem* loser.
Dave, maybe if you'd switch to Diet, you could be happy too!
Hilly, liar.
AnnieB, oh. You're not supposed to open the can in your ass. Sorry - should have mentioned that. You'll have lime farts for a week now.
Poppy, Coke Zero is okay, but the lime taste makes it perfect.
Angel, so you'll stick a basketball in your ass but not a soda can? And Pepsi is shit, you're right.
Tracy, you weren't obsessed before?
Jester, here you go.
Amy, does Tom Cruise love Diet Coke with Lime too? Squeee!
Mr. Fabulous, sideways, right?
MRK, I like the fake cancer-causing sugar.
ADW, the enemas work too. They make you all limey fresh.
Paticus, the cherry flavor never does it for me like lime.
MouseBritteer, those bruises aren't imaginary.
Mistress Yoda, no, it's my soda's name!
Wayne, yeah, maybe if he didn't drink regular Coke, he'd be fine.
Crystal, you'll always be top commenter in my book. Which I store in my butt.
TMP, exactly! You are clearly very intelligent.
MsFreud, Pepsi is cloying and has a bad aftertaste.
Comments by Avitable
Ohhh, my bad.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
You know, to me Coke zero has a tiny bit of citrus taste. Although, it may be a lemon taste instead of a lime taste.
Comments by Poppy
Can I call you "peanut butter ass?"
Comments by metalmom
"Anytime that I'm sick, whether it's a sore throat, cough, headache, or upset stomach, a Diet Coke cures it."
Weed does the same thing for me. It's the only thing in my medicine cabinet. ;)
Comments by Webmiztris
I used to be a Pepsi Man. Diet Coke with Lime has made me cross to the dark side, but only at work. At home I now drink Diet Pepsi with no cafeine. How's that for useless information?
"Fits in your ass"... Well, I always buy the 571ml plastic bottles, I don't know how that would work for you.
Comments by Mike
Too bad the "diet" part of it isn't more powerful.
Comments by Jay
I hate to tell you this, but dogs will lick peanut butter out of anything even without Diet Coke. You have been wasting Diet Coke, man!
Have you tried the experiment with cats, though? I think then you would get more scientific evidence to support your theory.
Oh, and that reminds me, I have some more numbers for you.
Comments by Lynda
Why don't you drink alcohol? I kid.
Sounds like you've found the fountain of youth!
Comments by cat
oh how i hate that aftertaste that aspertaime (or however the hell you spell it) leaves. i've never been able to acquire a taste for it. blech.
more for you!
Comments by hellohahanarf
It also gets grease out of clothes when added to the wash cycle. Just so ya' know.
Comments by Tug
Mistress Yoda, you're the one named Mistress!
Poppy, I can't taste it in Coke Zero.
Metalmom, sure!
Dawn, that doesn't surprise me at all!
Mike, Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi? Such a Canadian.
Jay, I think zero calories is about as strong as you can get, isn't it?
Lynda, you know this from experience, right?
Cat, I have. I still look like I'm 15.
Hello, that's right. More for me!
Tug, ooh, good to know.
Comments by Avitable
Hey, don't make fun of us living in Canadiana... You know we're hovering above you and could crush you at anytime... ;-)
Comments by Mike
I thought Diet Dr. Pepper was the ELIXIR FROM THE GODS. Now I might have to switch it up. I've always liked dogs....
Comments by Lin
I just can't stomach Diet Coke or any diet soda. Only out of desperation. I like real Coke with a wedge of orange. At the moment I'm obsessed with Wild Cherry Pepsi and drank a case of it in two days. In fact at this exact moment Dude is at the store to get me more.
Now I'm in agreement with Dawn about the weed which I normally never touch but I've been in so much pain for the past two days that I have a few puffs at night just for some relief. I haven't touched the stuff in years. I have stitches from my breasts all the way to my pelvic bone. Can you say pain???
Comments by Lisa
I'm sure that helps when you're cruising for high school chicks, you old perv you : )
Comments by cat
ADAM HEATH AVITABLE!!! You weren't supposed to tell anyone about the pictures I sent you of me and the basketball. What the hell is wrong with you? Sheesh! No more pictures for you.
Comments by Angel
Angel, have you not yet learned the man can't keep a secret???
Comments by Poppy
Avi, that's because you have the permanent taste of teenage girls in your mouth.
Comments by Poppy
You have a point I suppose.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Diet Coke is the Nectar of the Gods!
Comments by Crazy Lady
I read your blog, don't I?
Of course I am intelligent.
Comments by themuttprincess
I prefer Cherry Coke Zero. Have you tried the Diet Coke Plus, all the goodness of diet Coke with added vitamins and minerals.
Comments by Michael
Mike, not only that, but all the good Canadians are already living in the US ready to strike at a moment's notice.
Lin, but do you like dogs?
Lisa, sweetie, you toke as much as you want!
Cat, don't give away all of my secrets.
Angel, but you got a three pointer!
Poppy, that's what that aftertaste is!
Mistress Yoda, you have two points.
Crazy Lady, you ain't so crazy after all.
TMP, but this elevates you almost to genius level.
Michael, I like Diet Coke Plus - it has a different flavor that is pretty good.
Comments by Avitable
diet coke with orange is good too. I am sure it works the same as your Diet Coke with lime....I guess........
Comments by Da Duck
I have a dog, yes. And I have witnessed her peanut butter ways.
Comments by Lynda
Duck, I'll have to try orange with my Diet Coke - that sounds interesting!
Lynda, so what you're saying is that you've smeared peanut butter on your vagina and let your dog have her way with you?
Comments by Avitable