Firstly, after a week of working on a laptop, I'm finally back in my office again, on my new computer. It's a beauty, too. And once my second hard drive comes tomorrow or Monday, I'll have a full TB of storage. Plenty of room for midget porn and videos of people fucking horses. Of course, I still can't do my Saturday videos or scan my art. I also still have tons of software that was on the old computer that I have to find somewhere free so that I can "evaluate" it. And if I accidentally put in a serial number that I found somewhere and it becomes a full version, oops!
Secondly, thank Jeebus it's Friday. This week has just really seemed off. I don't know if it's the fact that last Saturday was when I was hugging the toilet after my Stuffed Crust Pepperoni Lovers' Pizza (mmmmm... I love it sooo much - why does it hate me?) at 4 AM and never went back to bed, and never got into the swing of the week, or maybe just that I have some flux with employees leaving and new ones coming soon and so I feel like a chicken with my head cut off, but I'm ready for the weekend. Saturday shall be spent nude, greased in baby oil, watching Dr. Who and Monk and Shark Week (why isn't it on Discovery HD, btw? That's retarded.)
Finally, I think I need new underwear. Since I have really sharp toenails that have never been trimmed, I have managed to slice holes in the crotches and legs of every fucking pair I own. They've all gotten so torn up that I can't even wear them around the house when people are here for fear of scaring them away! I tried on another pair of bottoms, but they didn't fit well. You can read about it here, if you haven't already.
Ok, fuckers. Have a good weekend.
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POST PHOTOS OF THE NEW 'PUTER, DUH.
Comments by Poppy
Please. No underwear with holes when I get there.
Nudity I can handle. But I just don't know if I can take anymore of your nuts being squeezed out of sad fabric.
Comments by Miss Britt
I think Hubs is secretly into wedgies at work. All of his tighty-whiteys are torn where the label should be! Hmm....maybe there's something he's not sharing with me...
Comments by metalmom
I love shark week. I don't watch it naked so I probably don't love it quite as much as you do. But I do love it. And Monk too.
Comments by heather
Oiled up for Shark Week? I hope we don't see a video of you making horny with a shark like that one freakshow and his snake ;).
Comments by Hilly
I'm happy you've gotten your new computer!
Comments by Sheila
I'm still waiting for my neon super nekkie dance.
AND... I'm becoming IMPATIENT!
Also, my weekend will be spent
roughing it with the rest of the miserable bastards in the campgroundlounging at the beach.Wish me luck.
Comments by Amy
I'm reminded of the Friends episode where Monica thinks Chandler was getting off on "Shark Porn." Best line, "What's wrong? Isn't this video 'toothy' enough for you?"
Oh... and green isn't your color.
Comments by Jester
That's odd. As I was reading you felt like a chicken with your head cut off, I got this sudden urge to watch Dancing Avitable. What's up with that?
Comments by AnnieB
So far this weekend seems a bit of a bore. I need to install a new light fixture, and by "I" I really do not mean me. I will probably watch way too many video games being that I will not be the only one home, and probably get to see the Simpsons Movie.
Comments by Brandi
Yes, it has been a strange week, hasn't it? Why only yesterday it seemed like Thursday. I guess I didn't have enough to drink this week. I must be slipping.
Comments by RW
Poppy, nobody wants techporn.
Britts of Madison County, no more squeezed nuts. Deal!
Metalmom, men are just hard on their underwear.
Heather, do you at least watch Monk naked? C'mon, admit it.
Hilly, sharks are purty.
Sheila, me too!
Amy, someday. And yeah, you have fun with that "relaxing" camping trip.
Jester, I think I looked damn sexy!
AnnieB, I didn't do the funky chicken in my dance. I was the king of smooth moves, so I have no idea what you're talking about.
Brandi, you're going to watch video games? Not play them?
RW, well, don't slip. At your age, your hip will break.
Comments by Avitable
I didn't say no more squeezed nuts. Let's not get crazy here.
I've got to keep you in line somehow.
Comments by Miss Britt
Thank God. All is right with the world again.
Whew!
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
I like how you're always calling me nobody. I really like that. That doesn't piss me off at all. TAKE THE PHOTOS! Don't make me call you what Britt calls you.
Comments by Poppy
Nuts squeezing out of sad fabric? Thanks for the visual, Miss Britt.
Sorry your week's been off, Avi. I know the feeling. You should take your own advice to me...
Comments by hot coffee girl
Yay! I want a new laptop and I new phone. In fact, I NEED a new laptop and a new phone. Damn those budget cutbacks.
Comments by ADW
What a lame post, can't you do better than that?
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Britty in Pink, I see how it is.
Mr. Fabulous, I know! My world was turned upside-down for a few days there.
Poppy, oh, you're somebody. But nobody ELSE wants techporn!
HCG, did you click on the link that I posted? You need to do that.
ADW, I hate laptops.
Mistress Yoda, ha! Where's your payment?
Comments by Avitable
GAH!!!!!
Comments by hot coffee girl
Dude, clip your motherfucking toenails. Gross.
And of course the only way to watch Shark Week is naked, but I don't grease up. Too messy.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
HCG, I'm glad that I was able to elicit such a response.
Tracy, there isn't a pair of clippers that can handle these toenails.
Comments by Avitable
After further review, you are indeed the king of smooth moves. Must have just been the late night pizza that conjured up those images ...
Comments by AnnieB
That's IT!
Dog fucker!!!!!!
Comments by Poppy
For some reason I read Monk but saw Mork and I was thinking I'd love to go back and watch some Mork and Mindy!
Nekkid even. Mindy was hot.
Comments by Wayne
(I have tried to send this comment a million times and for some reason coComment is being a bitch.)
OK. I admit. I watch Monk naked. Any man who is more anal retentive and screwed up with OCD than I am turns me on.
Comments by heather
It's in the mail
Comments by Mistress Yoda
Just wear a thong with pearls... Your toenails would have to be pretty sharp to cut through those things.
Comments by Erica AP
Pick some socks up while you are there.....
Comments by themuttprincess
AnnieB, indeed.
Poppy, hah! Said with hearts. See - it doesn't count.
Wayne, Mindy was hot.
Heather, that's why I don't use co-Comment. It sucks. I knew you watched it naked! I'm sure he's only a little more OCD than you.
Mistress Yoda, suuuuuure.
Erica, good thinking!
TMP, I like my holy socks.
Comments by Avitable
I know, I know...
Comments by Poppy
You really put on poor Miss Britt's bikini bottoms? Poor girl.
Is she aware of what this move may do to her kids?
J.
Comments by HoosierGirl5
You should get it in the mail sometime next week, I swear.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
for godsakes, why won't you trim your everlovin toenails?
Comments by Crys
Poppy, can't fool me!
HoosierGirl5, sure did! And she's willing to endanger her children.
Mistress Yoda, I think you really need to mail me something cool now, after those promises.
Crystal, you never know if you need to cut through steel. They might come in handy.
Comments by Avitable
That's a lot of pressure.
Comments by Mistress Yoda
I have the same problem with my toenails and razor sharp leg hairs.
Comments by Maritza
Cut your toenails with your new computer PSU fan. Or use the rejected "American Inventor" idea...
Yes, it is a grinder.
Comments by Mike
when i come to Orlandy-o you must produce the nails. i must see them and photograph them because this?
THIS I CANNOT BELIEVE.
Comments by Crys
You could always get underwear made of the stuff they make shark suits out of, no more ripped holes and you can really get in the mood for shark week.
Comments by Michael
Mistress Yoda, I have high expectations when it comes to you.
Maritza, your leg hairs cut your underwear? Wow.
Mike, my fan could definitely do it. On high, it's a monster.
Crystal, you're not taking photos of my toes when you're here. My balls, however, will be on display.
Michael, good thinking!
Comments by Avitable
I'm starting to get that :D
Comments by Mistress Yoda
This is all the more reason to go commando.
Comments by Lynda
Mistress Yoda, I'm very demanding.
Lynda, good point.
Comments by Avitable