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Lazy Sunday III

I looked through the last 10 pages of bulletins on my Myspace, searching for a good survey or meme to do today, and didn’t find any that didn’t suck. So I’ve decided to start my own – a quick, 10-question survey, that’s just perfect for all of you to fill out. I’m just going to post the questions, and if you fill it out on your blog instead of in the comments, link back to me and let me know. Or else.

1. If I showed up at your house randomly next week, what would we do together?

2. Rather than saying “I have a blogger friend”, or “I have a friend who’s a blogger”, there should be a word for this that makes it less awkward to say. Would you prefer “blend”, “frogger”, “bluddy”, “blogquaintance”, or “webbud”? Or do you have a better idea?

3. If we were hanging out together and you noticed that my balls were hanging out of my shorts, would you tell me or try to maintain eye contact and talk to me?

4. If you had no neighbors, would you buy curtains for your windows? Why or why not?

5. Who would you rather fuck: Dan Rather or Betty White?

6. If two girls walk into a bathroom and they both find a newly born baby in the toilet at the same time, should they have to wrestle in oil while nude to claim the baby as theirs, split it in half and share it, or sell it on the black market and divide the proceeds?

7. Do you believe in ghosts, aliens, heaven, or mothers-in-law? Why or why not?

8. What was your most embarrassing moment of your life and do you have pictures or video that you will share with me?

9. Do you know where I put my sunglasses?

10. What aspect of your own blogging do you wish you could improve and why? Would you pay money for lessons taught by me to improve that skill? How much? And what’s your credit card number?

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39 Replies to “Lazy Sunday III”

  1. DutchBitch

    1. First I would build a jaccuzi on my balcony with you (I’ll do the coordination while sipping a mojito, you’ll work it, nekkid) and then we’d try it out… nekkid…

    2. I can’t get my head around a better idea… I am pretty much braindead today… I like frogger or bluddy best…

    3. I would be all over your balls… No time for eyecontact

    4. I have neighbours and curtains and I don’t use ‘m (the curtains)…

    5. I don’t know either of them, but that shouldn’t be a problem… right? I mean: what’s new?

    6. Yes OF COURSE, and if it were 2 men, same thing

    7. Nope. Isn’t it all the same thing really anyway? Harmless, just ban them out of your life. No boyfriend: no mother in law

    8. The time I shouted that the base player of a band “could do me in the alley next to the bar” anytime, and the amplifier of the band died at the very same moment… I was in the bar with Dutchylands biggest hillbillies and it was a nasty moment.. No video/pics… sorry

    9. They are probably next to my bluetooth earpiece I lost 5 months ago. Do you know where that is?

    10. The porn aspect… Teach me!

  2. Christie

    1. Well I’d cook you dinner and such and then we’d play board games (but not retarded games like monopoly)… and uhhh…. I dunno

    2. ooh ooh bluddy.

    3. I wouldn’t tell you

    4. yes because I fucking hate glare on the TV and computers

    5. ugh… um… hell I’m gonna have to go with Betty White

    6. sell it!

    7. yes! because I’ve seen a ghost, and you’re telling me in this vast universe Earth is the only planet with life- ha!

    8. lets just say it involves a strap on

    9. they’re ontop of your head

    10. no I wouldn’t pay money, and 1234567890 is my card number. My phone # also starts with 555

  3. Avitable

    Kal, very nice. I’m glad you’re still alive in the blogging world.

    Jester, great answers!

    Mr. Fabulous, that’s the card in my fake name, Stu Pendous.

    DB, :sex011:

    Christie, Monopoly’s retarded? How about Scrabble?

  4. Sarcastica

    1. We would watch the Spice Girls movie and dress up as Baby Spice and Posh Spice and then sing for the locals.

    2. I would prefer “frogger” or “blogquaintance” to describe my blogging friends.

    3. I would maintain eye contact and then throw darts at it without breaking eye contact because I’m mean like that.

    4. Yes because I have no neighbours and the animals like to watch us change. Plus you could always have a hairy gorilla hiding in the bush watching…curtains are always a good idea.

    5. Since I knew neither I googled them, and I would have to say I would rather fuck Betty White. I remember her from the Golden Girls; its a funny show. She’s hot.

    6. Sell it on the black market and divide the proceeds fo sho. Then they can rent-a-kid from Ebay.

    7. I believe in ghosts; cause I am one. Mother-in-laws are just an old wise tale!

    8. I actually don’t have a really most embarrassing moment of my life but if I did have it on video I would share it with the world because it would be funny.

    9. Nicole Richie stole them.

    10. My blogging skills are swell thank you, you could use a few pointers from me. Whats your credit card number? I really need to buy that flat screen TV for my college room.

  5. Dave2

    I don’t follow instructions very well…

    1) Drive to Seattle for big fun in the city, because there is nothing… NOTHING… to do where I live.

    2) I always use “Blogging Buddy” because it’s a little less informal than “Blogging Friends.” Also, they both start with “B” so it’s a lot cuter.

    3) Uhhh… I think I would pretty much HAVE to tell you, because I wouldn’t want to be known as “that guy who hangs out with that guy who hangs out” (if you know what I mean).

    4) Yes. Because the home theater experience is best had in the dark.

    5) I love and respect Betty too much to ever want to fuck her, so I’m guessing Dan Rather would be my choice.

    6) I’ll take the nude wrestling please. Will this be telecast on cable?

    7) Ghosts (sure). Aliens (definitely). Heaven (no… though nirvana is sometimes referred to as heaven). Mothers-in-Law (not yet).

    8) My life is nothing but a series of embarrassing moments, with no one moment more embarrassing than the next.

    9) They’re under the table out by the pool.

    10) My blog is sublimely perfect exactly how it is, so no. I’d be happy to allow you to pay ME for lessons though.

  6. RW

    1. The macarena
    2. Bitch
    3. C
    4. Yes. Peeping Tammies
    5. Given these choices I will masturbate into a pink cup
    6. Flush
    7. No. I believe I’ll have another drink.
    8. When I accidentally pulled the lever and killed 8 million people in Bolivia. No.
    9. They were in a pink cup last I saw.
    10. My short attention span… what was the rest of that?

  7. Poppy

    1. We’d watch porn. Duh.
    2. Yah, I prefer best friend.
    3. I’d point to them and smile.
    4. I have neighbors now and there are only curtains because someone else in the house doesn’t like showing off to the neighbors. I’ll have no curtains in my next house.
    5. Make me a Dan/Betty sandwich!!!
    6. They should just walk away from the toilet.
    7. Aliens. The ending of the book Contact answers the “why”.
    8. Peeing my pants because I forgot my house key? I was 8, ya fucking perv.
    9. Only at night.
    10. You already have my credit card number. I’m not paying for lessons from you, YOU’RE PAYING FOR LESSONS FROM ME, BITCH! Hehehehehe.

  8. Y2K Survivor

    ok I answered and linked back.

    1. I am pretty sure I would feel guilty about your constant bitchin that all I do is watch football on the weekends. Which is not true, I also drink large amounts of Fresca and wizz a lot.

    2. Flogger or maybe Bliend

    3. Here in Oklahoma we are taught at an early age to carry those electric flyswatters (like a hand held bug zapper) to help draw attention to scrotum escapage

    4. Yes, because I like to block sun light and maybe nap on the weekend.

    5. Betty White, but with Dan Rather watchin and yelling “Courage” in the background.

    6. Depending upon the girls. My first instinct is naked oil wrestling followed by them taking their brat and leaving. However, if my daughter is involved then it is eBay time!

    7. I place no faith in any of those institutions designed to sell Hallmark cards. I believe in things that are real and tangeable like, Valentines, puppy love and well wishes from people you have never met.

    8. I am embarrassed everytime I reply to my flogger Avitable. (notice how I try to encourage the new lexicon addition?)

    9. eh dude… mayb those weren’t your balls I zapped wih that electronic flyswater

    10. Sorry Mr. Fab says I can only have on master at a time, and I prefer to call her Britt.

  9. Mistress

    OK you totally need to add me to your friend list on Myspace fucker!!! 😛

    I won’t post my myspace alias here but it’s linked on my blog in today’s post.

    ANYWHOOOOO.

    1.) We could dance around to 80’s music and have a slumber party complete with a pillow fight, braiding each other’s hair, and making prank calls.

    OMG SO MUCH FUN.

    2.)blogquaintance is my pick.

    3.) I’d be like “Dude, handle your cojones please.”

    4.) Hell yeah. Phoenix is nicknames “the valley of the sun” and for black people…the sun is NOT our friend.

    I’m baked to perfection, I use curtains and blinds religiously to keep the sun away from my beautiful brown skin.

    5.) Lenny Kravitz.

    6.) Drop the baby in one of those donation boxes at the hospital, I wouldn’t wish it on either of the hoes. It ain’t worth fighting over.

    7.) Yes to ghosts and aliens.

    8.) Lost virginity, blood galore. No pictures sorry.

    9.) Lenny Kravitz

    10.) Um frequency. 515510506360XXXX Mastercard.

  10. Avitable

    DB, how about a little :sex023: instead?

    Sarcastica, you’d throw darts at my testicles? You ARE mean!

    Dave, I would pay you for blogging lessons, but you keep asking for sex instead of cash!

    Amy, I know it.

    RW, I bet you dance a mean macarena.

    TrishK, anytime.

    Poppy, a Dan/Betty sandwich, eh? Hm.

    Y2K, well done with the “flogger” usage.

    Mistress, I have added you! And I knew that bastard Lenny took my glasses.

    Mistress Yoda, that Ahmoo thing will never die.

    Christie, I have no idea what Fury of Dracula or Puerto Rico is.

  11. annie

    1. I’d make you do the “Milkshake” dance, live.
    2. I like “frogger”, it would confuse people.
    3. I would totally go “Dude! Get your balls OFF my chair!” Ick.
    4. I used to have no neighbors and I had NO curtains. I had a gun though. I ain’t a-skeered.
    5. A threesome!
    6. Sell that bitch and split the money. What the fuck you want a baby for?
    7. Heaven only. I have spoke to my Mother-in-Law once in 7 years, I don’t believer in her.
    8. Being alive is embarrassing, so…I dunno.
    7. They’re on top of your head. If not, check your anus.
    10. People who will pay for blogging tips are idiots. They might be better off working on their “book”, and get off the internet and quit bothering us with their shit. Ugh.

  12. bluepaintred

    1. If I showed up at your house randomly next week, what would we do together?

    Nothing. I drink coffee and play online and sometimes feed the kids. If thats your cuppa tea, feel free to join us.

    2. Rather than saying “I have a blogger friend”, or “I have a friend who’s a blogger”, there should be a word for this that makes it less awkward to say. Would you prefer “blend”, “frogger”, “bluddy”, “blogquaintance”, or “webbud”? Or do you have a better idea?

    I call them Little Avitable’s

    3. If we were hanging out together and you noticed that my balls were hanging out of my shorts, would you tell me or try to maintain eye contact and talk to me?

    I’d point and giggle

    4. If you had no neighbors, would you buy curtains for your windows? Why or why not?

    Yes. Curtains keep out the afternoon/morning sun

    5. Who would you rather fuck: Dan Rather or Betty White?

    Both at the same time as long as I also had a five gallon pail of honey

    6. If two girls walk into a bathroom and they both find a newly born baby in the toilet at the same time, should they have to wrestle in oil while nude to claim the baby as theirs, split it in half and share it, or sell it on the black market and divide the proceeds?

    First they need to fish it out and see if it is alive, then, they should do the black market thing.

    7. Do you believe in ghosts, aliens, heaven, or mothers-in-law? Why or why not?

    no, no, no and yes. becuase, becuase, because and she was over her this afternoon so she must be real.

    8. What was your most embarrassing moment of your life and do you have pictures or video that you will share with me?

    If I told you, I would have to kill you. And my husband has photos that if he shares, will cause his death.

    9. Do you know where I put my sunglasses?

    Check on top of the fridge

    10. What aspect of your own blogging do you wish you could improve and why? Would you pay money for lessons taught by me to improve that skill? How much? And what’s your credit card number?

    I wish I wasn’t so lazy about responding to comments. also. credit cards are evil. I refuse to own one.

  13. Avitable

    Heather, I look forward to what I expect to be awesome answers.

    Betty, very funny answers!

    BPR, ooh. You have a most embarrassing moment and your husband has photos? I need to get know him better and convince him to send those to me.

    Tracy, yes!

    Brandi, I’ll check out your answers.

  14. Lynda

    1. Hmmm, I don’t know. What do you like to do?

    2. I use blog buddy. Or friend if I talk with non-bloggy people

    3. I would tell you, thought I kind of expect that your answer would be that you knew but liked it that way.

    4. Yes, to block the light sometimes. But I probably would walk around with no clothes regardless of if the curtains were open or closed.

    5. Well, I drive stick so it’s a tough call.

    6. Hmmm…sell it.

    7. I believe in the possiblity, except the mother-in-law one, but only because I have seen that with my own eyes and it is frightening!

    8. Well, there was that time I accidentally blew snot over my boyfriend’s face. No pictures. And he still asked me to marry him.

    9. Check the table. No, the other table.

    10. I am a cheapskate, so no. Nicely, done though!

  15. Wayne

    I’m going for here instead of my blog. C’est la veal.

    1) I’d give you a choice: Dune or Xanadu.
    2) your other choices are more awkward than just “blogger friend.”
    3) I’d tell you. But then I’d probably figure out that you were TRYING to show them to me, and then maybe I’d just feign ignorance. I could do that.
    4) Yes, curtains. Or ventian blinds. No neighbors means increased voyeur activity and more gov’t agents.
    5) Dan Rather is male so, no, and Betty White is way too young. Maybe Betty White’s mom.
    6) they can wrestle while I save the baby. That’s how I roll.
    7) I believe in all and I’ve seen 3 of the 4.
    8) Hmm, I’m sure I have no pictures or videos, and I haven’t even thought of what it was yet. I guess it was when I told “Janet” in the row in front of me, in 6th grade, that I “liked her a lot”. She said, “well, I don’t like you!” and everyone laughed. I remember her full name but decline to put it here for fears that Google will help re-enact it by her finding this comment and then posting a comment on my blog saying something like “I still don’t like you! HAHAHAHA”
    9) Depends on why you’re asking. If you’re asking and you don’t know where they are, I say behind the couch or under your car’s seat. If you DO know where they are or are being a smart-ass, then sure, I know where you put your sunglasses – on your face! That’s where you put them normally.
    10) I would want to improve the community aspect, have more readers / commenters. I don’t think I’d pay money for lessons. I have 5 credit cards (is that what you asked?)

  16. Lynda

    I never said it was my husband….

    But, yeah, it was him. I had a cold. He kept wanting to kiss, and wouldn’t let me take a breath. It made me giggle. Next thing we were searching for paper towels.

    Something had to give. HAHAHAHA!

  17. Bethie

    1. If I showed up at your house randomly next week, what would we do together?
    Probably go to the sex shop. Or the beach.

    2. Rather than saying “I have a blogger friend”, or “I have a friend who’s a blogger”, there should be a word for this that makes it less awkward to say. Would you prefer “blend”, “frogger”, “bluddy”, “blogquaintance”, or “webbud”? Or do you have a better idea?
    frogger, because it kind of sounds dirty

    3. If we were hanging out together and you noticed that my balls were hanging out of my shorts, would you tell me or try to maintain eye contact and talk to me?
    I would snicker randomly throughout the rest of the conversation.

    4. If you had no neighbors, would you buy curtains for your windows? Why or why not?
    Nope. I have neighbors and I still don’t have curtains.

    5. Who would you rather fuck: Dan Rather or Betty White?
    I had to google image search those to figure out who they were and I kind of threw up in my mouth a little bit from thinking about it.

    6. If two girls walk into a bathroom and they both find a newly born baby in the toilet at the same time, should they have to wrestle in oil while nude to claim the baby as theirs, split it in half and share it, or sell it on the black market and divide the proceeds?
    Nude oil, because at least that’s worth videotaping.

    7. Do you believe in ghosts, aliens, heaven, or mothers-in-law? Why or why not?
    Your mom.

    8. What was your most embarrassing moment of your life and do you have pictures or video that you will share with me?
    Probably when my mom walked in on me and my husband naked mid-coitus.

    And no.

    9. Do you know where I put my sunglasses?
    Probably the last place you left them.

    10. What aspect of your own blogging do you wish you could improve and why? Would you pay money for lessons taught by me to improve that skill? How much? And what’s your credit card number?
    I think that credit cards are against my religion.

  18. Julie

    Sorry so late! Love you!

    1. If I showed up at your house randomly next week, what would we do together?

    You would tell funny stories while we drank and played connect 4. You would win a lot because I have the attention span of a fruitfly.

    2. Rather than saying “I have a blogger friend”, or “I have a friend who’s a blogger”, there should be a word for this that makes it less awkward to say. Would you prefer “blend”, “frogger”, “bluddy”, “blogquaintance”, or “webbud”? Or do you have a better idea?

    Oooh, I like webbud. “Virtual friend” could work too.

    3. If we were hanging out together and you noticed that my balls were hanging out of my shorts, would you tell me or try to maintain eye contact and talk to me?

    Try to maintain eye contact. I hardly ever can bring myself to point out when other people have boogers, etc.

    4. If you had no neighbors, would you buy curtains for your windows? Why or why not?

    No, duh. I don’t have curtains now and I live in a row house with neighbors inches away from some windows. I am lazy and curtains are a pain. Measuring sux.

    5. Who would you rather fuck: Dan Rather or Betty White?

    BETTY WHITE

    6. If two girls walk into a bathroom and they both find a newly born baby in the toilet at the same time, should they have to wrestle in oil while nude to claim the baby as theirs, split it in half and share it, or sell it on the black market and divide the proceeds?

    Oiling wrestling.

    7. Do you believe in ghosts, aliens, heaven, or mothers-in-law? Why or why not?

    I believe only in mothers-in-law, and I think the vast majority of people over-exaggerate how bad their mothers-in-law are.

    8. What was your most embarrassing moment of your life and do you have pictures or video that you will share with me?

    This one time? I wore my fave jeans with the worn-thru knees and a classmate reached into the knee-hole and pulled out a pair of underpants that were stuck in there from the wash and threw them across the room. They were not pristine. HORRI. FIED.

    9. Do you know where I put my sunglasses?

    Sars.

    10. What aspect of your own blogging do you wish you could improve and why? Would you pay money for lessons taught by me to improve that skill? How much? And what’s your credit card number?

    Frequency and duration, because they’re both lacking; no; n/a; n/a

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