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I shot the serif.

That’s right. This blog post is entirely sans serif.

Here are your bullets:

  • I am going to be co-hosting Mr. Fabulous’s radio show on Sunday night at 7 PM EST. Go here to listen and to call in. You can also send me IMs during the show. My Yahoo IM is my full name – first, middle and last, @ yahoo.com. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not smart enough to IM me. Don’t forget to set your calendars!
  • My monitor arrived, and it is absolutely gorgeous. I’ve spontaneously ejaculated 43 times while using it.
  • While moving the two big CRT monitors that took up my desk space, I found 6 packs of gum, 2 books of blank checks, a toy car, a Hershey’s kiss, 4 paper clips, $20 in cash, and 14 pens that had fallen or rolled underneath them over the last few years. It was like Christmas! And yes, the kiss was still good.
  • If you’re all lucky, tomorrow I’ll be able to do my first video post since a few weeks ago when I started having computer problems. I know how much you’ve been missing those!
  • Does anyone watch Mind Control on SciFi? What a fascinating show!
  • A few months ago I helped a friend tear down his bathroom walls and install new studs and drywall to replace them. He and I are both half-retarded when it comes to this type of thing, so, of course, together we make a full-blown retard, which clearly showed with our ineptitude. Yesterday I managed to assemble two end tables and a coffee table without breaking anything or losing any parts, so maybe my genius side is overtaking the retard side. I guess we’ll see when the next project comes along . . .
  • Hopefully I’ll make it to go see Superbad this weekend. It looks absolutely hilarious, and I’ve loved Michael Cera since Arrested Development. He has great comedic timing, especially for his age.
  • I was sitting at my desk in my underwear when my balls itched. I went to scratch them through my manties and actually touched ball flesh instead of cloth. The gaping crotch hole is one sign that I need to throw this pair away. Damn.

That’s it for now. Don’t forget about the radio show, and have a good Friday.

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36 Replies to “I shot the serif.”

  1. Miss Britt

    “A few months ago I helped a friend tear down his bathroom walls and install new studs and drywall to replace them. He and I are both half-retarded when it comes to this type of thing, so, of course, together we make a full-blown retard, which clearly showed with our ineptitude. Yesterday I managed to assemble two end tables and a coffee table without breaking anything or losing any parts, so maybe my genius side is overtaking the retard side. I guess we’ll see when the next project comes along . . .”

    Um, no. This time you had ME.

    Although, I’m willing to rethink this theory if you can come over and hang all of my pictures even half ass straight. And also bring your drill. And some of those wall mount thingies that hold up really heavy stuff.

  2. bluepaintred

    I read this post and then joined my husband in the garage for a smoke. And you know what? The whole time I was out there I couldn’t get that last bullet point out of my head.

    Its like a bad aftertaste for the brain.

    If I dream of manty filled balls tonight I will kill you in the morning.

  3. Mistress

    Why do boys always have holes in their underwear?

    You guys puzzle me.

    If I can so much as a snag in one of my sexy thongs that shit goes smack in the trash!

    But then again…I’m a high maintenance bitch.

    Anyway,I really wanna tune into your radio appearance so I’m gonna write myself a note…

  4. Michael

    I should have had you come help me put together the new computer desk the wife got me for my birthday, which is [checks time] now, whoo hoo, I’m old!

    All my best underwear have holes in the crotch, if the wife finds them she throws them out.

  5. DutchBitch

    Here, let me get a tissue for that screen… It can’t be too clear a picture after that ejac-fest! :jerkoff2:

    And ehm… I was waiting for you to tell us you were gonna do a lottery with us for the stuff you found on your desk… oh well… bugger!

  6. Avitable

    Britt, I had you, but you’re also half-retarded. Luckily, we didn’t make a full retard this time.

    TrishK, drunk blogging, eh?

    Dave, no, I have a special reservoir just for that.

    BPR, I hope you do dream of manty-filled balls. Hairy ones.

    Angel, yes you do. Who are you kidding?

    Mistress, I just can’t see throwing them away just because they have a little hole.

    Phishez, I know! Although, I think my manties are the next “down the back of the couch” actually.

    Michael, exactly – the best ones are holy! Happy birthday, by the way.

    Mr. Fabulous, well, it’s actually two cans attached by string, but I didn’t want you to have one of your “episodes” again.

    Robin, only if my wife finds the holes and throws them away.

    DB, I wouldn’t ruin a screen by doing that!

    Metalmom, me too. Makes me feel funny in my pants.

    TMP, no new socks yet.

    KG, it was new furniture, dork. And they’re boxer brief manties.

    Tracy, you want me to dip my balls in your Cheerios? Okay!

    Amy, is? Or was?

  7. Poppy

    I’ve had my weekend planned completely around your radio show for several weeks now. I expect the phones will be swamped but if you say something I want to comment about I’ll set aside my phonetardedness and call in.

  8. Avitable

    Annie, I think it’s the thrusting and groping more than anything else.

    TMP, if they don’t have any holes, where are my legs going to go?

    Poppy, hopefully I won’t forget about it on Sunday afternoon then.

    Jasmine, awww, thanks! I love me too!

    Dragon, I know. I haven’t moved in days.

  9. RW

    Well anyone with a performance background could tell by listening to your video-blogs that you have a good voice and face for radio.

    You’d do really well on one of those morning drive time programs in a city no larger than 300,000 where they talk about how the backyard tomatoes are doing and how to make a decorative basket. No lie – your voice is perfect for just that thing.

    “Good morning fuckers for our project today we need a mesh bag like you get with potatoes, glue, ice cream bar sticks and lace. We’re making a basket.”

    Say it a few times. It’s perfect!

  10. Michael

    I like Derren Brown I have a link to his site on my other blog (linked to my name here). I used to collect mentalism books and professional conjuring equipment, but ran out of space.

    Thanks for the birthday wishes.

  11. Avitable

    TMP, I’m heee-larious!

    Ygraine, I’m planning on learning to do some of those mind control tricks.

    Jason, do you rub your thighs together a lot or something? Mine tear because my toenails are razor sharp and I cut through them when I put them on.

    Michael, some of his work is really impressive. So you’ve read materials on some of the subliminal and suggestive techniques?

    BPR, stalker.

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