That's right. This blog post is entirely sans serif.
Here are your bullets:
- I am going to be co-hosting Mr. Fabulous's radio show on Sunday night at 7 PM EST. Go here to listen and to call in. You can also send me IMs during the show. My Yahoo IM is my full name - first, middle and last, @ yahoo.com. If you can't figure it out, you're not smart enough to IM me. Don't forget to set your calendars!
- My monitor arrived, and it is absolutely gorgeous. I've spontaneously ejaculated 43 times while using it.
- While moving the two big CRT monitors that took up my desk space, I found 6 packs of gum, 2 books of blank checks, a toy car, a Hershey's kiss, 4 paper clips, $20 in cash, and 14 pens that had fallen or rolled underneath them over the last few years. It was like Christmas! And yes, the kiss was still good.
- If you're all lucky, tomorrow I'll be able to do my first video post since a few weeks ago when I started having computer problems. I know how much you've been missing those!
- Does anyone watch Mind Control on SciFi? What a fascinating show!
- A few months ago I helped a friend tear down his bathroom walls and install new studs and drywall to replace them. He and I are both half-retarded when it comes to this type of thing, so, of course, together we make a full-blown retard, which clearly showed with our ineptitude. Yesterday I managed to assemble two end tables and a coffee table without breaking anything or losing any parts, so maybe my genius side is overtaking the retard side. I guess we'll see when the next project comes along . . .
- Hopefully I'll make it to go see Superbad this weekend. It looks absolutely hilarious, and I've loved Michael Cera since Arrested Development. He has great comedic timing, especially for his age.
- I was sitting at my desk in my underwear when my balls itched. I went to scratch them through my manties and actually touched ball flesh instead of cloth. The gaping crotch hole is one sign that I need to throw this pair away. Damn.
That's it for now. Don't forget about the radio show, and have a good Friday.
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"A few months ago I helped a friend tear down his bathroom walls and install new studs and drywall to replace them. He and I are both half-retarded when it comes to this type of thing, so, of course, together we make a full-blown retard, which clearly showed with our ineptitude. Yesterday I managed to assemble two end tables and a coffee table without breaking anything or losing any parts, so maybe my genius side is overtaking the retard side. I guess we'll see when the next project comes along . . ."
Um, no. This time you had ME.
Although, I'm willing to rethink this theory if you can come over and hang all of my pictures even half ass straight. And also bring your drill. And some of those wall mount thingies that hold up really heavy stuff.
Comments by Miss Britt
Ummm I just posted a blogger for dummies request...and linked to you a lot...I've had lots of wine right now...
Comments by Trishk
Aw, man... please tell me you didn't ejaculate ON the monitor!
Comments by Dave2
I read this post and then joined my husband in the garage for a smoke. And you know what? The whole time I was out there I couldn't get that last bullet point out of my head.
Its like a bad aftertaste for the brain.
If I dream of manty filled balls tonight I will kill you in the morning.
Comments by bluepaintred
I do not want to dream of your balls either. Remind me why I read this at night before I go to bed again?
Comments by Angel
Why do boys always have holes in their underwear?
You guys puzzle me.
If I can so much as a snag in one of my sexy thongs that shit goes smack in the trash!
But then again...I'm a high maintenance bitch.
Anyway,I really wanna tune into your radio appearance so I'm gonna write myself a note...
Comments by Mistress
Turns out the desk is the new 'down the back of the couch.' Who knew?
Comments by Phishez
I should have had you come help me put together the new computer desk the wife got me for my birthday, which is [checks time] now, whoo hoo, I'm old!
All my best underwear have holes in the crotch, if the wife finds them she throws them out.
Comments by Michael
What radio show? I have a radio show?
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
You go through manties quickly don't you?
Comments by Robin
Here, let me get a tissue for that screen... It can't be too clear a picture after that ejac-fest!
And ehm... I was waiting for you to tell us you were gonna do a lottery with us for the stuff you found on your desk... oh well... bugger!
Comments by DutchBitch
I love when Miss Britt bosses you around!
Comments by metalmom
Have you gotten any new socks? I swear to god they sell manties at the same stores. Uh huh. I know, riveting!!!
Comments by themuttprincess
You put together furniture? How did it break?
Oh and do you prefer the thong manties or just the string-bikini style. I'll bet you're rockin' them either way.
Comments by Kentucky Girl
Great. Your hairy balls with my Fruity Cheerios.
Why do I continue to read you first?
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Superbad looks hilarious. Arrested Development is one of our favorite shows.
Comments by Amy
Britt, I had you, but you're also half-retarded. Luckily, we didn't make a full retard this time.
TrishK, drunk blogging, eh?
Dave, no, I have a special reservoir just for that.
BPR, I hope you do dream of manty-filled balls. Hairy ones.
Angel, yes you do. Who are you kidding?
Mistress, I just can't see throwing them away just because they have a little hole.
Phishez, I know! Although, I think my manties are the next "down the back of the couch" actually.
Michael, exactly - the best ones are holy! Happy birthday, by the way.
Mr. Fabulous, well, it's actually two cans attached by string, but I didn't want you to have one of your "episodes" again.
Robin, only if my wife finds the holes and throws them away.
DB, I wouldn't ruin a screen by doing that!
Metalmom, me too. Makes me feel funny in my pants.
TMP, no new socks yet.
KG, it was new furniture, dork. And they're boxer brief manties.
Tracy, you want me to dip my balls in your Cheerios? Okay!
Amy, is? Or was?
Comments by Avitable
All that ejaculating seems to be wearing out your underwear.
Comments by annie
The good side of that is you can get manties at the same time!!!
WITH NO HOLES!!!
Comments by themuttprincess
I've had my weekend planned completely around your radio show for several weeks now. I expect the phones will be swamped but if you say something I want to comment about I'll set aside my phonetardedness and call in.
Comments by Poppy
I love you Adam. You make me laugh. A LOT.
Comments by jasmine
Yay! Real, moving, talking Avi! About freakin' time.
Comments by Dragon
Annie, I think it's the thrusting and groping more than anything else.
TMP, if they don't have any holes, where are my legs going to go?
Poppy, hopefully I won't forget about it on Sunday afternoon then.
Jasmine, awww, thanks! I love me too!
Dragon, I know. I haven't moved in days.
Comments by Avitable
Well anyone with a performance background could tell by listening to your video-blogs that you have a good voice and face for radio.
You'd do really well on one of those morning drive time programs in a city no larger than 300,000 where they talk about how the backyard tomatoes are doing and how to make a decorative basket. No lie - your voice is perfect for just that thing.
"Good morning fuckers for our project today we need a mesh bag like you get with potatoes, glue, ice cream bar sticks and lace. We're making a basket."
Say it a few times. It's perfect!
Comments by RW
Nicely put.
I am the successor to Garrison Keillor. Betcha didn't know that.
Comments by Avitable
Hardy Har Har.
Comments by themuttprincess
Hi Avi - love your blog -
Superbad - looks hilarious, i'll see anything with Seth Rogan...
and...
Derren Brown / Mind Control ROCKS...god, i wish i could learn to do that...
Comments by ygraine
Dawg ... I've tossed out three pair of boxers in four days. Chaffing sucks.
Comments by Jason Falls
I like Derren Brown I have a link to his site on my other blog (linked to my name here). I used to collect mentalism books and professional conjuring equipment, but ran out of space.
Thanks for the birthday wishes.
Comments by Michael
dude. its 1140 a tonight (my time) and no update. If I reload your page one more time today I am officially a stalker!
Comments by bluepaintred
TMP, I'm heee-larious!
Ygraine, I'm planning on learning to do some of those mind control tricks.
Jason, do you rub your thighs together a lot or something? Mine tear because my toenails are razor sharp and I cut through them when I put them on.
Michael, some of his work is really impressive. So you've read materials on some of the subliminal and suggestive techniques?
BPR, stalker.
Comments by Avitable
Comments by ygraine
damn damn damn - i had a pic to go with my comment, and it refuses to go through! my plan for world domination is shattered..
Comments by ygraine
Yeah, you can only link to pictures, not post them.
Comments by Avitable
Have you ever found your nuts down the back of the couch?
Comments by Phishez
Phishez, once, after a very drunken, painful night.
Comments by Avitable