I had this clever post all ready to go. My eyes were bothering me, so I thought I would just close my eyes and type out a rambling post completely blindly. The plan was that it would be funny because I would make stupid misspellings and errors, and then trying not to go back and correct them would drive me crazy!
Yeah, that didn't work. Apparently, I type better with my eyes closed. I didn't make a single mistake, and I was using quotes and parentheses and numbers, too.
Fuck.
Well . . .
Um . . .
Just go buy some Postcards.
And go check out the latest in hilarity in the form of IM conversations over at These Walls!
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Maybe you should have your eyes surgically removed. That way, you'd always type perfectly.
Comments by Sheila
Or you could type with your feet like Daniel Day Lewis in that film I type with my feet
Comments by Dan
I can't type numbers at all unless I'm using the keypad.
But I have tits so it doesn't matter.
Comments by Kentucky Girl
Someone needs a hug...
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Maybe it would be more of a challenge to turn your keyboard upside down?
Comments by metalmom
LMAO @ Kentucky Girl!!
Comments by Turnbaby
You would be a perfect secretary, typing flawless with your eyes closed...
Comments by DutchBitch
You can try taping 2 fingers together- that should give you some nice errors
Comments by Christie
Um, wow. Yeah. No words.
Except for "arrogant prick" and "worst post ever".
But if you can't say anything nice...
Comments by Miss Britt
My right eye is really bugging me, very painful. I wonder if I have conjunctivitis AGAIN from my FUCKING ASSHOLE CLIENTS. They're ALWAYS giving me stuff, and it's never good.
Comments by Poppy
Must be nice - some days my hands are apparently like big, meaty paws, just banging on the keyboard. That's with my eyes wide open. I just can't outdo you in any way, can I?!
Comments by Sybil Law
Dada Avitable...
Comments by RW
How DOES you wife live with such perfection? Maybe she can give my husband pointers on how she does it, since he hasn't gotten the hang of it yet.
Comments by ADW
What were you rambling about?
Comments by heather
Aren't you smug?
Comments by themuttprincess
I highly recommend a trip to my blog. It involves a pimp to your site, fire, and small children.
Comments by Brandi
Wow, Britt just isn't holding back anymore, is she? This is why I have a serious girl crush on her.
Comments by Amy
Oh! And, I have finally figured out why your posts have sucked so bad lately.
You haven't been on IM with me... no brain sucking. HAHAHAHHAHA.
I'm your inspiration!!!!
I'm your BRAIN POWER, man!
Without me... your posts are WEAK and SAD!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
And, now, no one will think I am a freak for wearing that aluminum foil cap on my head when I am IM'ing with you.
Comments by Amy
Sheila, only if I can have lasers installed in my empty eye sockets instead.
Dan, clearly, you're thinking of his other film, "I am an Indian".
KG, your tits count for you?
Mr. Fabulous, my penis does! How'd you know?
Metalmom, how would I type on it if the keys were flipped upside down?
Turnbaby, you're only allowed here if you give me props, too.
DB, and I look good in a skirt, too.
Christie, gfpopd oidewa!@
Britt, oh, I think I've posted worse than this before. And do you know me?
Poppy, conjunctivitis from an asshole - sounds about right!
Sybil, well, I bet your vagina is nicer than mine.
RW, more of a surrealist.
ADW, she bows when she backs out of a room.
Heather, I was rambling about how I was tired and typing with my eyes closed. Exciting stuff!
TMP, I'm always smug.
Brandi, and a wet dream!
Amy, how she's possibly surprised by the arrogance just amazes me! And I am on IM, but you just don't IM me. It's clearly all your fault.
Comments by Avitable
It's just, well, you're usually able to make arrogance entertaining...
Comments by Miss Britt
But it's just so much more fun to gig you.
Comments by Turnbaby
I already bought the damn postcards! Gimme a real post!
Comments by bluepaintred
Blindfolded and upside down, dude. That's the way to go.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Britt, this is true. That's why I linked to These Walls!
Turnbaby, does gigging involve vaseline and large objects, because if so, I don't think I'm up for that.
BPR, someday.
Tracy, 7oui'ree gvbr9iliAN6T!
Comments by Avitable
Wow! Maybe Bossy will try that little trick while driving!
Comments by BOSSY
spear: an implement with a shaft and barbed point used for catching fish
metaphorically of course
Comments by turnbaby
True. I meant MORE smug. I apologize for not being clear.
Comments by themuttprincess
Sorry–"gig" is a...should have prefaced my last comment *sigh*
And why isn't gravatar working?
Comments by turnbaby
Bragger! Now do that and test yourself - tell me your WMP. If you beat 80 then I'll worship you forever :-) lol
Comments by Cheri
I don't believe that you actually type your own posts. I always imagine you dictating to a midget. I imagine you doing lots of stuff to midgets.
Comments by Mist 1
I love yooooooooooooou!!!!
CP.
Comments by CP
I'll meet you half way. How about I *read* your posts with my eyes closed and see if it still has mistakes.
Comments by Wayne
Bossy, let me know how that goes!
Turnbaby, that's a noun. You used it like a verb. Giggity!
TMP, I guess I'll forgive you.
Cheri, I don't look at the keyboard when I type anyway, so I realize now that it really makes no difference if my eyes are open or closed.
Mist, I imagine me doing lots of things to midgets, too!
CP, I have months of archives that you've missed, though.
Comments by Avitable
Wayne, good plan.
Comments by Avitable
*sigh* despite the obvious fact that a lot of nouns are also used as verbs *sigh*
forgot you are both a Yankee and a city boy
*sigh*
You live in Florida–and never heard of frog gigging???
mmmkay
Comments by Turnbaby
Turnbaby, yeah, but the definition you gave me was the noun one, not the verb one. You're a lawyer, too, so you should know the importance of reading something literally!
Comments by Avitable
yes it usually destroys the fun ;-)
Comments by Turnbaby
I appreciate that. Now I am smug.
Comments by themuttprincess
Turnbaby, yes, it does.
TMP, you smug bastard.
Comments by Avitable