Yesterday, Sheila's post of pictures of her messy desk inspired me to blatantly steal pay homage to her idea.
My desk is actually a U shape that surrounds me on three sides, so I've uploaded photos of all sides of this explosion of paper, gum, toys, rubber vaginas, and other detritus. The photos are 1600X1200, so after you click on them, you can zoom in to see the extent of this horrifying mess.
How bad's your desk?
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Yep, that is messy.
But you know what they say: A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
:-)
Comments by Mike
heh! I am doing this on friday!
Comments by bluepaintred
GOOD FUCKING GRIEF.
I don't even have to enlarge those to know your shit is a disaster area.
I can smugly look down on you now because I just cleaned my computer desk on Sunday.
Na na na boo boo
Comments by Mistress
oh my god, that makes me anxious just looking at it. Also, is Peter naked? And do you not use a tape measure to measure your penis, or do you keep that one separate?
Comments by Amanda
I guess Britt working there means you can't walk around naked anymore, huh?
Comments by Bethie
Holy shit! And you run a business from there? Maybe you need the gasoline Kentucky Girl suggested...
Pee Ess - Thank you. You made me feel much better about myself.
Comments by Sheila
I thought my desk was bad. You are a king. I kept trying to find Waldo in there.
Comments by Melanie
Good god. I'd need therapy if my desk was ever like that. I'm serious. I would have a massive anxiety attack and die. LOL
Comments by Kentucky Girl
Yep, you're definitely the king of messy offices. I don't know how you can even think with all of that "stuff" surrounding you. Now, I don't feel so bad about my clutter.
Comments by Geeky Tai-Tai
No. Never. That's ridiculous. I don't even OWN that much shit through the whole house. Good God no. No. No. No. TAKE IT AWAAAAAY!
Comments by RW
Was Jimmy Hoffa in one of the back corners?
Comments by metalmom
Holy Mother!! I thought my desks were messy. You got me beat by a football field. How do you find anything and when you do find it, is it alive?
Comments by ADW
Wow, that is bad. Hmmm...I don't think I even want to try and compete with this one.
See Sheila, it ain't that bad!
Comments by Trish
You know, I never think about your desk being that messy.
Probably because I'm overwhelmed by the feeling of the fucking walls caving in on me.
Comments by Miss Britt
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. That room would give me seizures. Can I go clean it? Please? Because now it's going to bug me knowing there's a room that looks like that.
Oh, you do win points for having hand sanitizer.
Comments by heather
Not that you care what I think.......but how do you work in that disaster!?
Comments by Kristin
Wow. Impressive, and not in a good way.
Comments by themuttprincess
Soooo, is Monday post going to be the same shots, but everything's squeaky clean? That would be impressive.
And by the way, if you zoom in close enough you can see that the hand sanitizer is actually Astro-Lube in a different container.
And that monitor... I'm so jealous.
Comments by Mike
Mike, isn't it one desk in hand is worth two tupperwares of bush?
BPR, I hope you can top my desk.
Mistress, but if you enlarge them you can see all the funny notes I wrote!
Amanda, I use a ruler because it has centimeters.
Bethie, that's what you'd think, right? But no.
Sheila, see? Told you yours was squeaky clean!
Melanie, he's around here somewhere.
KG, wanna come clean it for me?
Geeky, I just stare at my monitor and ignore the rest.
RW, yeah, but you have okapi.
Metalmom, him and Elvis!
ADW, yeah, I gave up trying to find anything a long time ago.
Trish, I tried to tell her it was no big deal.
Britt, crazy whore.
Heather, yes, please come clean it. In the nude.
Kristin, my keyboard and monitor are clean, so that's all I need.
TMP, I'm used to being impressive in a bad way.
Mike, the monitor is fucking sweet.
Comments by Avitable
where did you get your mouse?
Comments by mp
Not only is Peter naked in that first picture, but I think he may be holding hands with Groundskeeper Willie.
Comments by y not i
Yes, I have okapi. But they are neatly placed and aren't wading in a sea of gum and paper and toys and pens and paper and books and... more paper.
Comments by RW
OK — I just have to ask. What the hell kind of business are you actually in?
Comments by Dick
MP, Office Depot, actually. It's a five-button Microsoft Optical Mouse, and I've never yet found one was good. Actually, I bought seven of them so that I wouldn't run out for a while.
Y not I, you know what? I think you're right!
RW, what does your desk look like? I'm intrigued.
Dick, I took pimping from the streets to the web.
Comments by Avitable
I am really enjoying the irony of hand sanitizer in the middle of ...all...that.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Good God, Man! Don't you let the housekeeper in there or is she too afraid to enter because of the many alters to geekdom?
Comments by Amy
Not Even close, avi!
Comments by bluepaintred
Honestly, how do you not get bugs? Florida is hot and bugs like hot. You have sugar samples everwhere. If you did have bugs, they'd need a dentist after discovering your office.
Comments by Brandi
If you send me a ticket, you have a deal.
Comments by heather
If Miss Britt ever goes missing, we'll know where to look. Dude, that's messed up. Get it? Messed up. I slay me.
Comments by Dragon
Personally, i think you straightened it up a bit before snapping those pics.
Comments by e.Craig
Naturally. That still does not make it a good thing. Or even close to normal.
Comments by themuttprincess
Excuse me, a review of the photo of your left desks shows dirty socks and could that be, no it isn't, yes it may be, dirty underwear on the floor?
Comments by Trish
I would do this but I hardly ever sit at my desk. I mostly sit in my easy chair with my laptop.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
you soooo cannot blame that mess on Britt
Comments by Crazy Lady in Vegas
Tracy, I like to keep my hands clean when rooting through all of the shit.
Amy, she doesn't do much in here other than vacuum. And would that be "altar"?
BPR, I'm surprised. I would have figured that you'd be quite a slob.
Brandi, I have an exterminator who treats the house every three months. I could put a bowl of honey out on the counter for a month and we wouldn't get any bugs.
Heather, we might have to think about that.
Dragon, you slay you, and your name is Dragon? Veddy clever.
e.Craig, shh.
TMP, oh, no, that IS a good thing.
Trish, I think those are just socks. The underwear is usually in a pile behind Britt when I do my naked happy dances.
Fab, I wonder what type of food packages and lube bottles you'd find in the crevices of that easy chair.
Crazy Lady in Vegas, it was nice and neat until she moved in here!
Comments by Avitable
Yeah, it would be altar. And, it would have been correct the first time if I hadn't had smoke alarms going off at 4am this morning.
Comments by Amy
Oh even when you post pictures of your mess I feel better! Because on my worst day, my desk does NOT look that bad! Thanks for making me feel neat and organized! However, I love the figurines and gum - I like Trident Tropical Twist, or Orbit Citrus Mint. I am addicted to gum. Sorry, I'm brain dead thanks to allergy meds - carry on. :)
Comments by Sybil Law
That is frightening. Where's the "pee jar"?
Comments by annie
britt britt britt! i love seeing britt.
Comments by Crys
You have THING feet.
I'm jealous.
Comments by NYCWD
Really? What makes you think that?
Also as a man in possession of a penis, go answer my question.
uh. please.
Comments by bluepaintred
Amy, did Maggie set the house on fire?
Sybil Law, I am addicted to gum, too. I buy it by the case.
Annie, I just have a catheter installed - it's easier.
Crystal, will you be seeing her in person? Do you know yet?
NYCWD, they make sounds when you walk with them, too.
BPR, your personality.
Comments by Avitable
OK. I'll post a picture of my desk and you can stop being intrigued.
Comments by RW
Hey My Blog Hero, how are things??
You know, Britt’s boobs are great, but you sent me a kick ass postcard...how about every Wednesday and every other Weekend and all major holidays your My Blog Hero? And with Labor Day coming up, that should count as a major holiday right? Oh what the hell...to clear the air, can I just show you my 
?
Comments by Janelle
Are those 'used' socks there on the left side of the floor??????
Comments by Turnbaby
what!? My personality is slobby? I'm not sure whether I should be offended of amused..
Comments by bluepaintred
That's what I call a workspace. Everything important easily to hand.
I even have the same Beaker puppet somewhere, but nowhere near as many cool toys.
Just now at the Thrift store I got a Star Wars Luke Skywalker figure with the massive feet and hands.
My desk recently appeared on my blog and is new so still fairly bare right now.
Comments by Michael
Have to point out the dirty sock pile in the 3rd picture. I see you didn't high light that and blame Miss Britt. :-)
Who knew my son was at your house leaving his socks all over there too!
Comments by Fogspinner
RW, my intrigue, it has been quelled.
Janelle, you should always feel comfortable coming to me at any point that you want to show your boobs.
Turnbaby, yes they are!
BPR, no you just seem like you'd be unkempt!
Michael, now that it's new, you have to pop its cherry and start piling the shit on there.
Fogspinner, that's her fault, too. One of her jobs is to do my laundry, and she's not doing very well at that part.
Comments by Avitable
Wow that freakin monitor was at least 4 times wider than Britt!
Comments by Y2K Survivor
Oh. Well in that case, I pick offended
Comments by bluepaintred
Does Britt know you are wanking into socks and discarding them just a few inches from her? Hmmm?
Comments by Turnbaby
DAMN. I'd commit suicide. seriously.
You're obviously not a Virgo.
Comments by Tug
Y2K Survivor, Britt is tiny - the monitor eclipses her.
BPR, whatever. You are so not offended.
Turnbaby, ew. I'd never wank into anything that my feet have been in. I stem the flow and walk it into the bathroom, which is just a few feet from her.
Tug, nope!
Comments by Avitable
I'll be honest here and say that if I participated in this, I'd be dishonest. I'd probably have to add a thing here, move off a thing there, and try to make my desk more impressive than it is, or put something there so I'd have the excuse to blog about it.
Anyone else out there not snapping their EXACT desk at the EXACT time you heard about the meme?
Comments by Wayne
I like the meat sticker best.
Comments by plink
Wayne, really? You're a messy desk perfectionist?
Plink, meat is good.
Comments by Avitable