Five Oh

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32 Responses to Five Oh

  1. Dave2
    Twitter:
    says:

    Please tell me that the ticket was for something relatively harmless like speeding, and not something horrifying like performing lewd acts while driving…
    :jerkoff2:

    Reply

  2. NYCWD
    Twitter:
    says:

    Go fight the ticket. Courtrooms always have interesting characters.

    You should do a Kevin Smith marathon to entertain the kids.

    Snoogans.

    Reply

  3. Kal Jones says:

    Avitable babysitting? Does DCF know about this? holy crap…

    Reply

  4. Trish K says:

    Awww Mr. Avitable, you are sooo sweet! (please note, I am even pronouncing it correctly)

    One thing you may have forgotten. While yes, it is a new month and they aren’t that worried about their quotas, it is Labor Day weekend and they like to spoil holidays for everyone!

    Umm, you failed to mention what the ticket was for?

    Reply

  5. Avitable says:

    Dave and Trish, I said clearly that it’s for going 83 in a 55. Because then I said it was lucky he didn’t catch me for going 110 in a 70, which I was doing only a short time before. Couple of old folks here who can’t hear properly, I guess!

    NYCWD, yeah I might go fight it, since it’s local. The worst he can do is tack more money on it.

    Kal, yeah, it should be exhausting and horrifying.

    Reply

  6. metalmom says:

    Let the kids dress you up as ‘Bluntman’-That’s always fun!

    Reply

  7. Never in a million years would I have guessed you’d babysit anyone’s children! This is gonna’ be fun. :lmao:

    Reply

  8. RW says:

    20 years of schooling at an elite level and the guy doesn’t know that the “quota rule” for the beginning and ending of the months goes out the window when IT’S THE LABOR DAY WEEKEND. Just the holiday when the police are at their utmost vigilance for wreckless driving and/or drunkenness and/or SPEEDING.

    That does it. I’m absolutely NOT voting for you for President. Man…

    Reply

  9. I was going to make some snarky comment about your lead foot, but then you dropped the bomb about those poor poor children going to be horribly dammaged for the rest of their lives, and now I don’t remember what I was going to say.

    Reply

  10. Michael says:

    I’m sure the kids will be fine, you got tons of toys they rummage through and destroy.

    Reply

  11. Michael says:

    Awarded you an award at my blog.

    Reply

  12. Fogspinner says:

    :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

    So… Forgot the holiday I take it.

    I’m sure your employees remembered!

    The kids will be fine. I’m a little concerned your brain might explode. :violent029:

    Reply

  13. Amy says:

    Emma is SO going to kick your ass… then steal your wallet. :sex014:

    Reply

  14. Dave2
    Twitter:
    says:

    I just watched a second time… where do you mention that the ticket was for speeding? Was I distracted and missed it twice now?

    Reply

  15. Sybil Law says:

    Won’t someone please think of the children?!
    That really sucks about the speeding ticket. It’s been a year since I got mine, and the officer even knocked it down – to 72 in a 55. I was really doing about 79. Like you, had he caught me sooner, it might have been a lot worse.
    Good luck with the kids! Can’t wait to read about that…

    Reply

  16. Brandi says:

    Remember the trick about kids and pools. Face up, aok, face down, not ok at all.

    Reply

  17. bluepaintred says:

    you are babysitting!

    YOU are babysitting??

    what is the world coming to?

    Reply

  18. Poppy says:

    YOU DO REALIZE YOU INVITED HER TO FLORIDA TO WORK FOR YOU AND THAT YOU ARE SO WHIPPED THAT YOU’RE GOING TO END UP WITH THOSE KIDS WHEN SHE AND HUBBY RUN OFF INTO THE NAKED SUNSET TOGETHER?

    right?

    Reply

  19. Avitable says:

    Metalmom, I don’t think having the kids put clothes on or take them off of me would be a good plan.

    Geeky, I just duct taped them to the chair. It was easy!

    RW, I forgot it was Labor Day weekend. I work Monday, so it’s not a different day for me.

    Crazy Lady, the kids are going to be damaged? I think it’s me that will be damaged.

    Mr. Fabulous, they’re not babies. I didn’t have to change any diapers.

    Michael, yeah, they were playing with my lightsabers. They didn’t understand “collector’s edition” very well.

    Fogspinner, yeah, Britt was reminding me today that she’s not coming in on Monday. I’ll be here, though.

    Amy, surprisingly, Emma was absolutely perfect!

    Dave, nope, it’s not you. I recorded a little section that said that it was for going 83 in a 55, and that I was lucky they didn’t catch me for going 110 in a 70, which I was doing only a few minutes earlier, but for some reason that got cut out while transferring it from my video to Movie Maker to Youtube.

    Sybil Law, I get lots of speeding tickets. I’ve been lucky in the last three years, but I can usually count on getting at least one a year.

    Brandi, oh, that’s a good one to remember.

    BPR, I survived. Barely.

    Poppy, she’s already left them to us in her will if she and Jared die in some horrible accident. She said it would be a last hilarious practical joke.

    Reply

  20. Turnbaby says:

    Hmmm–

    Don’t know if Florida does this but here we try to keep it less than 15 over so that you don’t get points.

    Seriously–points can mean higher insurance costs–at a minimum.

    And I am certain the kids were fine–kids are always entertained at the zoo ;-)

    Reply

  21. Bethie says:

    When are you going to babysit my child? ;)

    Reply

  22. Avitable says:

    Turnbaby, you still get points in Florida, even if it’s less than 15 over.

    Bethie, I guess I’ll have to come down to Hawaii. Sounds horrible! :D

    Reply

  23. Robin
    Twitter:
    says:

    Well if you can babysit then I certainly can.

    Reply

  24. Miss Britt says:

    Can you please do a follow up post about how cranky you were after 7 hours with the kids?

    And why do you make it sound like I’m slacking for not working on fucking LABOR DAY??

    I mean… I can… if you want me to bring the kids over again…

    Reply

  25. Avitable says:

    Robin, I don’t know . . .

    Britt, I wasn’t cranky! The kids only destroyed me psychologically, not emotionally.

    Reply

  26. Miss Britt says:

    Which reminds me, I wanted to talk to you about some bruising I noticed on the kids. Ankles and wrists…. very strange…

    Reply

  27. Avitable says:

    That is strange. Duct tape shouldn’t leave bruising.

    Reply

  28. Mike
    Twitter:
    says:

    If cops were reading your blog, they’d be parked in front of your house at all times!

    Then they wouldn’t worry about quotas…

    Reply

  29. Avitable says:

    Yeah, that’s true. Now I’m paranoid.

    Reply

  30. Sarcastica says:

    Hmmm… it would have been better if you danced in a gorilla suit and slapped a monkey’s bum.

    But the ending credits were awesome :P

    Reply

  31. Avitable says:

    I’ll have to dance in a gorilla suit sometime, just for you!

    Reply

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