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Back in time

I have absolutely nothing to say today, so here’s what I had to say on September 13, 2006:

Satan

You scored 100% Pride, 100% Envy, 95% Ambition, and 75% Deceitfulness!

You are Satan, the consummate villain, and the ascendant figure in the unholy trinity. Throughout history you have been called The Serpent, The Accuser, The Devil, Lucifer, The Prince of the Power of the Air, and The Dragon, among other things. Your “compatriots” in the unholy trinity, the Antichrist and the False Prophet, are merely pawns in your futile struggle with God. Though, they probably don’t know this. This is because you are a master of deception; indeed the Bible calls you “The Father of All Lies”.

You are also very ambitious, and you strive to be in positions of the utmost authority. Unfortunately, it was impossible for you to obtain the highest title in heaven and this is part of the reason why you decided to leave. Of course, you couldn’t just leave by yourself, so you managed to use your deceptive abilities to get one third of the angels in heaven to join with you in revolt. God put down the rebellion and expelled you from heaven. To most people, it would seem foolish to start a war against God, but pride can sometimes cause people to do foolish things. In heaven, you were the most beautiful and powerful of all angels and you were well aware of this. Unfortunately, you let your pride consume you and your passions led you down the road to perdition. After you were expelled from heaven, you let another one of your attributes consume you—envy. You knew that you could never defeat God, but you could attempt to destroy humanity, his most beloved creation.

Your goal is to bring as many people as possible to suffer in Hell with you. Fortunately for you, but unfortunately for the rest of us, you’ve been endowed with all of the attributes necessary (deceptiveness, confidence, ruthlessness, and ambition) to do a terribly good job at this.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 99% on Pride
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You scored higher than 99% on Envy
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You scored higher than 99% on Ambition
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You scored higher than 99% on Deceitfulness

Link: The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test written by MetalliScats on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

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33 Replies to “Back in time”

  1. Cary

    For the first time, I say hello. I find your posts equally/alternately hilarious and disturbing. Today I am just disturbed by the missing sidebar items on your site (on my screen at least)

  2. Avitable

    Janna, I’m just confirming what everyone else knew.

    BPR, I’ve been working a lot and it’s been exhausting!

    Brandi, we already saw someone fulfilling a porpoise!

    Bethie, you’re right! Happy Birthday, Bethie!

    Todd, a recycled meme is even lazier!

    Fabulous, didn’t you know that about Satan?

    NYCWD, maybe Satan’s changed. Did you think of that?

    Turnbaby, just confirmation.

    Britt, it’s all my plan to make sure you’re riding the short bus to hell with me.

    DB, yeah, you have all learned well.

    Mike, how can someone be more Satan than someone else?

    Cary, thanks for the visit and comment. My sidebar looks like it’s here to me. What browser do you use?

    Poppy, who are you kidding?

  3. Miss Britt

    You are King Nebuchadnezzar, the emperor of Babylon. You are …blah blah blah blah… dictators. Like any good dictator blah blah blah blah blah. blahblahblahblah.more.stuff.that.interestingly
    enough.describes.me.exactly… I’m sure you’d make a good dictator in the 21st century, if given the chance.

    Essentially, I rule.

  4. Mike

    Well I looked at your 4 variables, and saw that you’re above 99% of everyone else. Now I realize you might have been one of the first few people to take that test.

    I outscored you on ambition (100%).

  5. Sybil Law

    Now I feel all… unholy. Thanks.
    You are Caiaphas, the high priest of Israel. You were a member of a strict Jewish sect known as the Pharisees. Aside from praying in the temple, your mission in life was to have Jesus executed. You are a rather ambitious person and you tend to accomplish most of the goals that you set for yourself. This goal was no different. You managed to have Jesus (the Son of God) crucified in approximately the year 28 AD. You had to get rid of Jesus because he was an insult to your pride. Before Jesus showed up, you were the most righteous man in all of Israel. Jesus was not only more righteous than you were, he also pointed out faults in your righteousness. Your pride blinded you to Jesus? message and drove you to put the man to death. Of course you couldn?t do this right away because many people viewed Jesus as a prophet. This is the point where your deceptive skills came in handy. You welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem as an honored prophet and three days later; you arrested him in the night and hastily set up a trial to execute him.

    OTHER BIBLICAL VILLAINS A Child of Israel The Serpent The Phillistine Judas Iscariot Jonah The Demon The Fallen Angel The False Prophet Goliath Pharaoh King Nebuchadnezzar Caiaphas King Saul Cain The Antichrist Satan

    My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

    You scored higher than 58% on Pride

    You scored higher than 79% on Envy

    You scored higher than 59% on Ambition

    You scored higher than 90% on Deceitfulness

  6. Avitable

    Poppy, nice try, though.

    Bossy, how’d you know? You should be a psychic.

    Britt, aww, how cute. You and Poppy are twins!

    AnnieB, you love Satan? Awesome!

    Mike, that test has been around for a while, I don’t think I was the first person. When I re-took it, I was above 98%, so I guess a year makes a tiny bit of difference.

    Amy, exactly. Moohahahahahaha!

    HCG, you’re a pseudo-Satan.

    HCG, yeah, you got caught by the spam filter.

    Amy, you did too.

    Sybil, wow. You’re worse than Satan, I think.

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