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Important question

So, I’m working on my huge mondo Halloween party that we’re having this year and I’m having trouble with a costume idea. I have two questions:

1. How much nudity is too much nudity?

2. Does anyone have a good costume idea for me?

Also, anyone who wants to come can put Saturday, October 27th on their calendar. It will be well worth the trip.

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43 Replies to “Important question”

  1. Sybil Law

    I suck at coming up with ideas for costumes.
    Nudity is always good.
    Put an empty Coca Cola carton on your head and go as a cokehead.
    Yeah – it does suck. Anyway, you only do the lime thing. Or, you could be a limey cokehead! Do you do cans or 2 liters?
    Yes – it’s very late here. Me no comment when me tired no more.


  2. Y2K Survivor

    OK my first thought was you could get some black granny panty speedo thing and a matching black sports bra with a fedora and go as Brittany spears at that Music Awards thing. Then I thought if you want to go all nude, paint yourself gold and go AS the award!

    Get a nappy blonde wig, cheap red lipstick and an empty bottle of booze and go as your favorite co-worker. Make a suit out of that crinkly paper they use on bulletin boards and go as one of Mr. Fads sculpties. Traditional looks would include a tail, horns and a devil’s fork that was shaped like a “$” and you would be Vice President Cheney.

    OK OK OK I am thinking of a character you can create from scratch. You make the costume to fit the name… Richard Balldinger. But his friends call him Dick.

    Maybe I should think about on this a bit more.

  3. Mr. Fabulous

    I am having a lot of trouble with a costume idea as well.

    A lot of people think I should go as you, and while I think it would be easy to pull off cosmetically, I think I would have trouble projecting THAT much disdain and contempt for most people…

  4. The Absurdist

    So, here’s my take on nudity.

    It’s completely subjective. You can take off as many pieces of clothes as everyone else in the room can stand, without everyone starting to puke.

    For example, I have a policy. I NEVER show my legs or upper arms. Jiggle and cellulite (read REALLY FAT) is never a good thing. Personally, I hate cleaning up puke, and the screams of horror are too much to handle, so I err on the side of caution.

    If I looked like Pam Anderson, I would walk around naked all the time, flaunting my fab body. Hell, I would probably touch myself all the time. More than I do now.

    As for your costume, I really like the ass-less chaps idea. Maybe you could throw in one of those netted tanks from the 80’s, in a half-shirt fashion, and gel up your hair.

    Your wife can wear a half-shirt and a micro-mini made of denim or white leather, and wear those crinkly boots we all wore to Bon Jovi and Whitesnake concerts. But she has to make sure and tease her bangs up really high, and use Rave Hairspray #3. She will know exactly what I am talking about. If she doesn’t, she is either three years old, or she has been under a rock, or she grew up in the midwest.

    So, you invited everyone to your party, but who the hell knows where you fricken’ live? I mean, if I am going to use my airline points to crash your party, I need a destination… ๐Ÿ™‚ Nah, I wouldn’t do that to you. You aren’t that important.


    The Absurdist

  5. Miss Britt

    Y2K – what the hell man? I don’t have NAPPY hair! I spend a lot of fucking money on product shit to make sure of it! :crazywife:

    And, Mr. Avitable, you already know what I think you should go as. I’ll even let you borrow Devin’s bike helmet.

  6. Poppy

    I hate being late to the game because I’m too lazy to read all the comments but I’m sure my answer is not unique.

    1. NEVER enough nudity. I would walk around naked all the time if it wouldn’t get me fired. The backyard of my home is very happy about my decision to rarely wear clothing.

    2. You should wear a naked suit.

  7. hellohahanarf

    never enough nudity. never!

    personally i think you should go as a pull toy. just get naked and strap on some roller skates. the wife should so as a little girl. then she can pull you around the party…

  8. DutchBitch

    What do you mean “Too Much Nudity”? There is no such thing as too much nudity! Sheesh! :boobs4:

    Ehm… costume… Well, in relation to the above : how about you borrow the Avitable Hairy Butt Plug from me and just wear that? :thumbsup:

  9. cris

    OK OK OK I got it! The absolute perfect consume that blends nudity and whimsy. Get some duct tape and paint it flesh color and tape your junk (like it’s tucked) and go as a Ken doll found in any kid’s toy chest(or any other action figure you can prefer.) Bonus is if you can get Britt or Amy to go naked as a Barbie.

    p.s. I just watched Britt’s old video of why she should never drink. How would you describe her hair? Full and curly? Oh! I mean… why does Britt assume SHE is your favorite employee??? I mean, you work there too and I ask you, is it really impossible to be a humble narcissist?

  10. cris

    I love South Park references!

    And I love the Lady Godiva idea… I can see you now, walking around the party in long flowing (not nappy hair) with a child’s stick horse glued across your ass.

  11. annie

    For YOU? Since you’re built like my husband? I would say ANY nudity between the neck and ankles is probably WAY too much.

    I like ALL the ideas people have given here, but especially “Britney”. In addition, you could just attach CHEAP extensions to the end of the hair you aleady have – perfect Britney hair!

  12. Avitable

    Amanda, can I send you some photos?

    Amy, I could put puke down the front and have some GHB for date raping with me, too!

    Sybil, I hope you got some sleep. I think you needed it!

    Y2K, that Britney idea isn’t too bad.

    Ygraine, that’s actually under consideration.

    Sheila, is it really nudity if the hairy parts are covered?

    Topncal, but being Britney is a lifelong dream!

    Mr. Fabulous, oh, I don’t know. I have faith in you.

    Absurdist, I live in Orlando. I’ll be giving details as the party gets closer. And yes. I am that fucking important!

    RW, 1. That’s not what you said last night.
    2. I’d have to go around giving oral sex to everyone
    3. Liar.

    Metalmom, BWAHAHAH! Brilliant!

    Bossy, contact my reps for licensing rights.

    DeannaBanana, really? What a twat! I’d like you to come, too. Maybe your husband and son can babysit instead.

    Wayne, you horrify me.

    Britt, that idea is still under consideration.

    Trish, this is true. I could go as Mr. Fab if I did that.

    Angel, hahahahahah! That’s an awesome idea too!

    Poppy, why a naked suit? Why not just naked?

    Hello, wow, that’s really creepy sounding.

    DB, then I’d just have to bend over every time to show off my costume.

    Fogspinner, Angel is briliant, isn’t she?

    Dawn, I’m seriously thinking about it.

    Tug, the only problem with the Britt idea is that not everyone at the party will know who that is.

    Crazy Lady, ooh, that is a good idea.

    Cris, I’d be the largest, hairiest Ken doll the world has ever seen.

    Britt, don’t go home. We need sales first! :heartbeat:

    Amy, you should do that!

    Annie, I am definitely built like your husband. That’s why the nudity would be awesome!

  13. Gemini

    I say you go as a flasher!

    All you need is a bathrobe. some flesh colored underwear and a pair of pantie hoes stuffed to be really long… ๐Ÿ˜‰ you get what I mean!

    Take the Pantie hoes and stuff them to make them look like a really long Penis.. take the newly stuffed unit and sew them to the Flesh colored underwear place the underwear on then roll your new extreemly long penis up. Put on the robe and…..Any time some one new walks in to your party you flash them letting your unit unroll at them!

    In the 70’s and 80’s my really young parents used to hold huge Halloween parties and I remember walking out of my bedroom one time when my dad (dressed as a flasher) flashed a friend! lol

    It was a great costume even then….

  14. Avitable

    Gemini, that is a good idea!

    Dragon, it just seems so derivative, I don’t know.

    Poppy, sure it is! I’ll wear a fake moustache, too.

    RW, 1. I only saw you from behind.
    2. My jaw is sore.
    3. You should make the trip down here!

  15. Danalyn

    I liked your Steve Irwin costume last year…but I think you should be Britney Spears…after all, you can just lounge around with the blow-up doll expression on your face…only more apathetic…and not have to exert yourself for the pictures (which I’m sure you’ll have plenty of again).

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