Oh This Is Ridiculous!

um My name is RW and I will never come back here again.

When I logged on I had a post all ready to go on my clipboard and all I was going to have to do was paste it and set the time and never have to do this again as long as I lived.

But the moment I got settled in here a popup took over my screen and I had to find a way (with my limited internet skills) to X it out before my wife walked in!

See, I'm the kind of a guy who, when he enters "MILF" into his Google search, gets detailed news about the Moro Islamic Liberation Front – and is actually looking for that! So how was I supposed to explain these cycling photographs of throbbing members and generous orbs to the Mrs if she came in right then?

My God, though, I thought they were trying to start a damn fire for Christ's sake!

Anyway, once I got rid of that, all of a sudden this burgeoning penile object started expanding into the screen from the "Save and Continue Editing" button. My God. It was green and veiny and the head looked like a German soldier or something. I wasn't exactly sure how I was supposed to get rid of that… so I started clicking it. But every time I clicked it all I got was these stupid moaning sounds. So I stopped and just waited. And I waited. And I waited.

It didn't go away until it took over everything and then all of a sudden my whole screen was white and I had to start all over again! And now I have no idea what this stuff is all over my cursor, but it's been trailing this… gunk around as I move it from point to point on the screen. So listen – if there are any misspelled words after the third paragraph – don't look at me!

Needless to say by the time I was ready to paste my entry into the post box my clipboard had already been erased but for that tit bounding icon over there in the smilies. Everywhere I clicked – bounding tits, bounding tits, bounding tits. It was ridiculous!

Then when I minimized my browser to reopen Word and copy it again – my wallpaper was a picture of a red snake wrapped around some woman's leg with this animated little tongue kind of wiggling towards her… well there.

And when a new popup showed up saying "Out of memory. Download aborted" I found myself yelling "WHAT download!!?" At the top of my lungs.

Now every time I've tried to open a program since, all I get are pictures of Bambi getting it up the ass from Jiminy Cricket, Mother Teresa's head going back and forth and back and forth in front of some guy in a garage, and all kinds of things just like that. By the way, I had no idea people's waists were that flexible!

Now I seem to have tits popping up like daisies at random for a screensaver. sigh…

How does this guy FUNCTION in this universe!?!??

So I'm outta here. My entire photo collection of lapidary anomalies is GONE. So are my Balance sheets for the 793 stocks I'm following. My treatise on conceptual design of the electrical balance of plants for an advanced battery energy storage facility is RUINED. Forget this noise, I'm not staying here a minute longer.

You people following me this week, consider yourselves warned. Now I know why everybody wanted me to go first.

You bastards.

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