Fucking computers. And fucking computer users!
Okay, here’s a tutorial for anyone who wants to use a PC or the internet.
1. Use a browser like Firefox or Opera. Don’t use IE.
2. Don’t open attachments. Especially if you don’t know the person. If you do know the person, scan it before you open it.
3. Don’t download anything from a site that you’ve never visited before unless you know FOR A FACT that it’s safe.
4. Don’t install any applets or say “Ok” to any windows that pop up when you visit a website.
5. Don’t use Limewire or Gnutella or any of those music sharing sites. They are filled with Trojans.
6. When you search on Google, Yahoo, or any other site, try to avoid using the site that shows up under the advertising section. You never know what you’ll be getting.
7. Don’t accept files through IM from people you don’t know or from people you do know if they just pop up randomly and try to send it to you.
8. If you have internet access at your house, get a router. It will act as a natural hardware firewall that won’t slow down your system like some software firewalls.
9. If you’re going to use a software firewall, make sure you use a legitimate one.
10. Make sure you have Windows do critical updates automatically.
11. Schedule a virus scan and spyware scan on a regular basis.
12. Don’t be retarded.
13. Don’t be a retard.
14. Don’t act like a retard.
15. Don’t act fucking retarded!
Can you tell that I’ve spent the last 7 hours running scans with different spyware and virus programs to try to figure out what’s happened to one of my computers?
ARRRGGGHHHH!
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:dunce:
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:clap: eye r not we tar dead! :clap:
‘cept the whole lime wire thing. I lurves limewire :heartbeat:
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/whisper go mac.
/end whisper
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Why couldn’t you have posted that two months ago? My son may still have a computer. The whole don’t download things rule? Yeah, he broke it and therefore broke his computer.
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Could you be more specific?
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So your saying you didn’t appreciate the little wooden horse left on your doorstep/pc?
Some people are just so ungrateful.
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What AM I allowed to use? :dunce:
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i blame eric coleman and his multiple personalities
:pissed:
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Well, unfortunately, some of us have to use IE because the application that we support/develop does not work on Firefox; only on IE. So, since I develop all day long, I have to use IE. So there.
The rest of it is all, “duh” kind of stuff… But I am curious as to what prompted you to give us remedial computing for two year olds?
Maybe it’s just me, since I work on this stuff all day long… Just curious.
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Oh. Nevermind. What ‘tard screwed up your ‘puter?
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I did not break your computer.
Can we clarify that, please?
Can we please get on the Internet and say “BRITT is NOT retarded”?
Thank you.
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Ah… It was La Britta Tardita!
Don’t worry Miss Britt. You aren’t a ‘tard. You should see the shit I have had to fix on all my friends’ computers. God I swear I am going over to thinkgeek.com and getting the “NO I will NOT fix your computer” t-shirt.
Smiles to you…
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NO NO NO!! It really wasn’t my computer that was breaking everything. He ‘deep scanned’ me and everything and it was NOT me!!
PROMISE!
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:shit: :crazywife: :dance:
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
I should add one to the list, and it helps a LOT of my family/friends that I support (being the alpha geek west of the mississippi)
Rule: use a “limited user” account for almost everything, all the time. Don’t be an administrator on your own computer.
For windows XP and Vista, this is pretty easy. If you’re not an admin on the computer, you can’t install software. You can’t overwrite system files. If you get anything weird, you can just recreate your profile.
Your friendly local super computer man knows how to do this and can help. Although I’m not local, I can also be friendly.
If you know of people with a business, and they have a windows domain (like with small business server), a simple group policy can enforce this behavior on ALL the machines, making it MUCH harder for any of them to get infected with anything. Of course, then employees b*tch about not being able to install yahoo toolbar or whatever crap, but, um, that’s the point. Have an admin or knowledgable person do the installing.
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:assshake: Ass! Get a mac!
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:deadhorse:
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OK I am no deductive genius or nutting but if Mrs. A has been gone so long Adam’s pissy clothes are all piled high, and if Avitable doesn’t fook up the computers…. who does that leave??
Britt, it looks like once again I have to say you are well busted. heh heh
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If it helps, we use this at work at it is wonderful.
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Sounds like your interview process needs to be much different than it has been in the past.
You know, aside from just hiring a cute blond because she says she’ll show you her boobs.
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
#5 is always fucking me over and I can’t seem to abandon it.
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Twitter: tlkaply
says:
Dude. No wonder you’re being cranky in the comments, you poor hairy bastard. Let me know if you need me to send you spoons (for the stabbing).
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Don’t go to anysite that says “Free” in it’s URL, you usually get a virus by just visiting the site. Also, aren’t the new batch of pirating lawsuits getting LimeWire users? Shouldn’t use that shit anyway. I think it’s best to get music from the “underground”.
“Get a Mac”, sure, that’s fine if you want to be brain-dead about protection. Mac Nazi’s piss me off. I like my PC.
I haven’t had a Virus in over 3 years and only then because my husband used my computer to look at porn. In IE.
So who’s the numb-skull who wacked your shit up?
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also, don’t ever use a hair dryer to remove the crotch crumbs (read: dust particles for the uninitiated) from inside the CPU.
HP can eat a bowl full of Compaq dick.
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Sadly, I break rules 12,13,14 and 15 on a regular basis. You’re probably not surprised to hear that though are you?
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What I did to my PC after I got sick of fixing it :violent018: then I stole my Partners MacBook because hey, I am a cheap ass like that and there are shoes to buy.
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I’m going to echo a previous comment and say “go MAC.” Still, mine has a wireless router, and I don’t open spam mail, or anything suspicious for that matter.
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Can’t respond to everyone today.
1. It wasn’t Britt. Her computer had some malware, but nothing major.
2. I don’t know how it got on the laptop, but it’s severely screwed.
3. My post started off saying “for anyone who wants to use a PC”. The ONLY reason that Macs are relatively virus free is because they make up such a small portion of the user market that it’s not worth writing virii for. Otherwise, they’re poorly made machines with little to no upgradability that have limited use to a non-graphical power user.
4. Well, it might have been Britt. We don’t know.
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That SUCKS.
I feel bad for you.
I would even take pity on you and do your laundry for you. If I lived closer.
Go take a dip in the pool.
Seriously – there is little worse. :pissed:
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16. Get a Mac.
And, btw, just because I posted about B before posting about you doesn’t mean you need to be whiny about it. Crying out loud. You didn’t flip me off. :p Actually, after I saw you I kinda didn’t have internet access until I got to her house. And, really, if I’m *at* her house am I going to post about you, who took me to a restaurant because you were too scared that I’d chop you up into little pieces, or B who loves me enough to bring her into her home and let me sleep in her Paris bedroom (ahhhhh, France)?
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17. Get a Mac.
18. Get a Mac.
19. Doesn’t matter that it’s only because no one’s writing virii for them, get a fucking
Mac.
20. Macs are built on a foundation that is much older than Bill Gates. Get a fucking Mac.
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Awww Hon… Did you figure it out? You didn’t infect all of us by being a fucking retard, did ya? Hey! Just asking…
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Like I said; all that fucking SNAKE and DONKEY porn you’re looking at, I’m sure that is coming from REAL reputable sites.
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Do you recommend specific virus scans and spyware scans (free preferably)? I just got a new Mac and my friend told me that I don’t need to worry about viruses with Macintoshes because they’re built better than the other PCs… is this true? Seems a bit too good to be true. Sorry to be a pain, but since we’re talking about computers here and I’m one of those annoying retards!
Glad to know about Limewire… my friend has been encouraging me to use it and I think that’s what led to my last computer crash.
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Was my co-worker at your computer? Cause she does stupid shite like that all the time…. drives our IT dept nuts…
:banghead:
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that’s weird….i’ve never had a problem with limewire…but then again, how would I know? I’d NEVER download music illegally.
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