Heather, you've got almost 100 people here who are willing to listen to you or talk to you at anytime. Please don't hesitate to make use of them next time you're feeling scared and threatened, whether or not you're physically injured. With exceptions like Donna, who would rather we ignore what's going on in your personal life even if it's harmful and dangerous to you, you have a list of people who love and support you. No matter what.

Thanks for keeping it relatively civil, people. Serious time for Avitable land is over.

I don't know. None of us will ever know that for sure. Only Roscoe and Heather will know the truth. What I do know is that at least two things are going on right now.

1) Heather outed herself in order to defend the person who is or is not beating her. By posting this personal information, and then, having commentary done by the masses…we are only inflamming a volatile situation.

2) I believe Heather did make that request. As a woman who was formerly abused for years, I would do anything to make my abuser seem like a better man than he was. Most of the time, it was because he forced me to…either verbally or physically. Other times, it was because I was a complete drama queen and looking for the attention of others. That's a hard thing to admit about yourself, but that was me a long time ago, before I located my self esteem.

Adam is a man among men. I know he would do anything on the planet for his friends and it may very well be that his intentions were played upon. To me, it seems a certain amount of backpeddling was done here. There is no doubt in my mind that this person hit Heather at least once. At very least. That right there is reason enough for someone, anyone to get involved. Lord knows I would have been so gracious if someone was around to save me when Tony was beating my ass. But, I also have to wonder…what was Heather's intention in all of this? And further, if it is even marginally true, the abuse, then why inflame the situation? I know that if Tony had read all of this and saw that so many people were mocking him…he would have beat me within an inch of my life.

So, even if this is him posting as her, are we really doing Heather a service here?

I think you're awesome too.

I'm the young guy from England.

And I know much, much more than anyone does, even more than Avi does. And I will post a response on my blog.

Closed comments.

Nah… screw all that… go away.
My past and private life is mine. Heather's past and private life is hers. It's none of all your business.

The blogging mob is not worthy my time or affection.

Some people have answered here in the comments. People who know me since years, and loyal as I am, although they might not expect it, I value friendships (and still read all of them).

Hence why, now… all go fuck your own business and let friends be friends without making your own soap story out of it.
Go away.

People who want to contact/correct me surely will find a way. If not, just as fine.
Life goes on, internet dramaless it even feels better.

No matter who was right and who isn't.

Go fuck yourself now.

Namaste.

I think you are awesome btw

*goes back to playing with a raw turkey*

I know. I suck. But this all looks waaaaaaay too familiar to me. I still want to have your hairy babies, Adam. Remember that.

CP.

I have been in Heathers position before. I had an affair on my ex husband and rallied all my internet friends to get involved in my drama. It was stupid of me, but I was very worked up and upset at the time. While I do agree that this "Roscoe" is a piece of shit if he DID hit her, I also suspect that much of this to do has to do with Heather herself. We can't always be the womans advocate, Adam, because sometimes, there are women who are just seeking attention. She strikes me as one of them because she opted to "out" herself. She has insisted time and again that she is not in an abusive relationship. No matter if she is or isn't, you aren't going to change her mind any time soon. If anything, you threw more kindling on an already rampantly burning fire. If you did something kind for her, good karma will come your way. You did it with the best of intentions. However, I don't really see that it should be up here for the world to see. If she is asking you, in the name of the SAME FRIENDSHIP that made you do this gesture of kindness in the first place, to remove the post, then I would consider that. Yes, 99 replies is very respectable and wow, quite a hit to the ol' blog…but is that what we are really here for?

I would seriously consider her motives before readily jumping to her side. I can tell you with the most severe honesty that I used to play up to the men in my cyber life because they would jump through proverbial hoops to get to be the one to "save" me. There was nothing wrong with my marriage. I was just a total attention whore…and I suspect that Heather is too. Again, I am not saying that Roscoe deserves a break, because if he did hit her, then his name should be put on a post office wall and he should be stoned to death in the town square.

But this has gone a little too far, Adam. The girl has been outed. The humiliation is unparalleled…and if she IS a victim of violence or abuse, damn straight she is going to get a helluva beating over this one.

Just playing the devils advocate here, but I wish you would reconsider this post…or at very least, wipe away the comments where most of the damage has occurred.

I love you, Adam…you know I do. Please just think about it.

CP.

I gotta say I agree with Miss Ann. Posting this was wrong. If Heather wants it taken down, take it down. Respect Heather that much, at least. You've got your drama. Let it go.

And Amy, before you jump down my throat cause I rarely comment, I admit it, I don't comment often at all here. I'm not an everyday reader, but a concerned friend pointed out the post to me because this friend knows I care about Heather.

How many of you can say you're in constant contact with Heather? Any of you??

Let it go.

1. Whether it was right or wrong to post this, Avitable did not do so to create drama, and, judging by his actions last month, his main concern seems to be for the safety of his friend.

2. The only people who know the 100% truth about what's going on in a relationship are the two people who are in it. I'm not one of them, nor am I someone that has talked to either of them, so I'm in no position to comment on their relationship.

That said, as several people have already mentioned, it's not uncommon for people not to tell the complete truth about their relationships. I was one of those women who make excuses for their SOs. "Yes, he shoved me–BUT he didn't break any bones, but he had a bad day at work, but he said he was sorry, but he can be really nice when he's not being mean…" etc. etc. I eventually ended up being cut off from my friends because of him as well. So, I can see why people are concerned, especially those who have experienced this. (It makes me incredibly sad that so many commenters can relate to this!)

Heather, I have no idea if that's what's going on or not, but whatever the case may be, I'm praying for health and happiness for you. If you can have that with your husband, then great. If not, then I hope you get out soon and safely.

Heather,I just wanted to say that you've brought this all down upon yourself. It's very tempting to use people you don't know as validation meters. People use the internet for this because they can manipulate their situation around to the point of view that most benefits them. It's always nice to have people caring about you, albeit at a distance. We all need some stroking, physical or mental, in our lives.

But I don't see you owning up to it at all. There's no saying you might have just exaggerated things a little, in retrospect. You are probably way too embarassed to back down now and Avitable is probably pretty pissed because he went out of his way to help you, truly believing the version you told him of things.

I can understand why you used the line you did but I can't understand why you won't own your own role in all of this. For sure, portray yourself as helpless victim as much as you like, but don't start buying into other people's narrowmindedness and don't ever assume that simply trying to justify your previous statements is enough to let you off the hook.

Your husband comes across, courtesy of your deliberately slanted peek at him, as a controlling mindless abuser. And yet you are staying with him? Its obvious that there is more to your marriage than just the bits that other people can see, and its also obvious that you think it worthwhile to keep struggling on.

I can't see this ending well, myself. It might play for a bit but sooner or later you are going to repeat the whole situation. Internet ego stroking is very addictive.