Before today's post, I just wanted to let you know that today is the deadline to email me at my first name at my last name dot com, with the subject line of "Santa is coming" and include your address so I can make sure you're on my holiday card list!
Today, we decided to decorate the Christmas tree. It's actually been up (it's an artificial one) for two weeks, but we never got around to putting any ornaments on it because of Amy's travel and my general laziness when it comes to something other than work.
In 83 degree weather, I put on the Santa hat like I always do, and we opened up the Christmas ornament boxes. Unlike a certain stick-in-the-mud's tree, our tree is not a Martha Stewart-esque image of perfection. It's not color coordinated, it's not decorated in grids with perfectly matching bulbs, it's not even perfectly straight.
We actually put all of our personal ornaments on there. We have ones we've received from family members (and some of them are oh-so-fugly), we have ones that we've bought for each other every year, we have ones we made when we were too poor to do anything for the holidays, and we have a mishmash of ornaments that each have their own story. We also put lights on the tree in addition to the white lights that come attached to the branches. This year, they're these purple/blue/green/orange/pink ones that are absolutely hideous, but seem to complete the tree, and it really starts to feel like Christmas is coming.
After decorating the tree, we started discussing the outside decorations.
"Do you want to put some lights up out front?" My wife asked.
"I don't know - we don't really have enough to go crazy, so it just looks half-assed."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Besides, our lights are for us, not for our neighbors. Who cares if they see them?" She started pulling out the light nets and rope lights and stuff.
I asked, "You want to decorate the backyard instead?"
"Yeah, why not? That way, we can enjoy them more than if they were in the front. And it will surprise anyone who comes in. It will be all like, serious out front, and then a party in the back."
"So you want our Christmas decorations to be like a mullet?"
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And yay for you! You have a soul. I mean... a tree.
Comments by Miss Britt
oh so classy
Comments by Amanda
one step ahead of me. no tree up yet, mullet boy...
Comments by hellohahanarf
I'm having trouble believing that your tree isn't straight. If it weren't it definitely would be colour coordinated, Fab-u-lous and wouldn't be caught dead with anything sporting a mullet.
Comments by Gwen
I love you guys
Now you have to post pictures of your backyard party.
Comments by Bethie
Comments by NYCWD
*snort*
Mullet
*snort*
Where're our Christmas emoticons?!
Comments by Dee
I snorted. That takes a lot.
Comments by The Absurdist
A fake tree? You Phillistine.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Well? And? Does she??
Comments by RW
Good for Mrs. Avitable! You should do what you like!
J.
Comments by HoosierGirl5
Britt, don't assume there's a soul in there somewhere. Although, I am Catholic, so I guess there is one.
Amanda, I know - mullets are awesome!
Hello, real or fake?
Gwen, good thinking. I guess it must be straight!
Bethie, we have to go buy more lights first.
NYCWD, mullets are the new black.
Dee, I don't do Christmas emoticons.
Absurdist, oh pshaw. I make you guffaw all the time.
Fabulous, you try to maintain a real tree in Florida after all of these years?
RW, yes. Yes, she does.
HG5, our house will have become a redneck!
Comments by Avitable
lmao
Comments by christie
i know the horror this is to some people, but i am all about the fake tree.
the days after christmas i am literally brought to tears when i see live trees on the curb, dying while waiting for the garbage men. i can't bring myself to kill a tree just for a few weeks. call me a tree hugger, i don't care. (come to think of it, i actually dumped a guy over the real vs. fake tree issue. not proud, simply stating the facts.)
Comments by hellohahanarf
Christmas who? Why does it come around so fast?
Comments by BOSSY
I wish I could do the fake tree....I'd like to have it up all month rather than a week or two.
*mullet* HA! :xmas2:
Comments by metalmom
That's definitely a way to look at it! :xmas2:
Comments by Robin
We decorate the front, back, and interior of our house and yes with a fake tree!
Oh Boy! Christmas emoticons!! :xmas1:
Comments by Trish
I was kind of hoping the Christmas Emoticons would have boobies with spinning red and green tassels, but I guess Santa taking a wiz on the roof top is pretty cool too. By the way, how did you ever talk Britt into posing for the naked emoticons you run all year?
I just decorated our mailbox and the front porch and in typical Holiday joy I thought, "To hell with the drive-by gawkers, they can look at the neighbor's house."
Comments by Y2K Survivor
just laughed so hard coffee came out my nose. Which burns WAY more than I expected.
Seriously though, great idea.
Comments by Charissa
Christie, you know we have smilies so you don't have to type out "lmao".
Hello, fake trees are much easier to clean up, too.
Bossy, it's been here since Halloween!
Metalmom, why can't you do a fake tree?
Robin, all business in the front and party in the back!
Trish, front, back and interior? That's wayyy too much.
Y2K, I looked for those emoticons, but couldn't find any.
Charissa, it's a very mullet Christmas.
:xmas4:
Comments by Avitable
You added Christmas smilies?!!?!?!?!?
Who are you and what have you done with Adam?
And... mullet HAHAHAHAHA. Actually, that is a pretty wicked idea. Good for you guys. But, seriously, at least hang a wreath the on front door for God's sake.
Comments by Amy
XMAS lights out front is something I would do, for show.
XMAS lights out back is something my wife would do, for us.
Way to make me feel like a loser. Again.
Comments by Wayne
:xmas1: I love the smilies!! My tree is color coordinated (blue ans silver), but it certainly doesn't look like Martha Stewart decorated it. I'm thinking of going with an Ohio State theme for my tree next year.
I think it is awesome that you put all of your personal ornaments that have sentimental value on the tree.
Comments by Angel
Your tree sounds just like mine!!
Comments by Britt's mom
I like the Mullet Theory Of Christmas Decorating. I follow that theory to the bitter end. Of course, it's easy for me, I live in an apartment.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Amy, I figured I might as well add some smilies. And we do have a wreath on the front door.
Wayne, I'm sorry our mullet house makes you feel bad.
Angel, an Ohio State theme, eh? That would be interesting to see next year.
Mom, apparently your decorating style isn't good enough for your daughter.
Tracy, what can you even decorate in that case? You hate Christmas anyways, don't you?
Comments by Avitable
I put lights up and my apartment is on the 14th floor, so obviously it's just for me. But they are sort of visible from the street, which is sort of nice. The city spends thousands on lights all over the city though, so we don't hurt for decorations.
Comments by Nina
I am celebrating anti-Christmas. No decorations whatsoever. It's pretty liberating, actually. I'm still going to people's houses on the day (and the days around it). Oh, and sending Amanda a Christmas card. And you. And Fab? etc.
Comments by Poppy
I did have something witty to say about lights and sparkly Christmas things but I can't drag my mind away from the pissing Santa
Comments by Bec
I think that's how Christmas trees are supposed to be. Tacky and filled with memories - not coordinated and stuffy and - you said it - soulless.
My tree is totally tacky and I love it - because my almost 6 year old helped me decorate it and we have to make sure only soft ornaments are at the bottom because the cats will knock them off.
I love it.
Mullets ROCK! Hahahaha
:xmas4:
Comments by Sybil Law
I think you should put some Christmas lights in the bathroom. If you are anything like my old man that is where you spend most of your time.
Comments by Preposterous Ponderings
Will there be pictures?
Comments by Girl, Dislocated
See, I'm think now that every time I see Billy Ray Cyrus I will think, "Wow. His hair is like Avitable's back yard."
Screwball!
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
Nina, if your lights are visible from the street, does that mean that your bedroom is too?
Poppy, no tree?
Bec, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Sybil, mullets are the bane of our existence.
Preposterous, do you even like your husband, because it never sounds like you do!
Girl, Dislocated, very possibly.
CMG, I'm more concerned with the "seeing Billy Ray Cyrus" thing.
Comments by Avitable
What the hell am I gonna do with a tree? All the ornaments are "busy" elsewhere. (Please don't mention the fact that there is a christmas store exactly 1/10 of a mile down my street, ktxbai.)
Comments by Poppy
It's all the milk and cookies! (Although we always a glass of wine and a minced pie)
Comments by Bec
Nothing says Happy Birthday Baby Jesus like the mullet :xmas4:
Comments by Crazy Lady in Vegas
lol! oh god, PLEASE don't give your house a mullet!
Comments by Webmiztris
Poppy, but there's a Christmas store exactly 1/10th of a mile down your street!
Bec, you make Santa drink and drive?
Crazy Lady in Vegas, that's true. Jesus had the first mullet, after all.
Dawn, it will be the classiest one ever. Well, after Richard Dean Anderson.
Comments by Avitable
It's okay - everyone else stays off the er... skyway that night... and the reindeer's take his keys off him if he has too much!
Comments by Bec
Bec, yeah, yeah. Clearly you're an enabler!
Comments by Avitable
Okay, I give in! I am the pusher... Favourite colour is cerulean blue.
Wow, an obscure linkage thing... My geek powers are strong today...
Comments by Bec
Bec, wow, that is obscure!
Comments by Avitable