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Avitadeal or No Deal

Back in March, I held a Q&A round. Many of you might not have been reading me at that time, so I decided that nine months is enough time to bring this old chestnut back out.

In the comments, I would like you to ask any question you want, and I will answer all of them as well as I possibly can. I will answer every question asked, no matter how personal or absurd.

Ask in the comments and I’ll dedicate the next few posts to answering them. Each person may ask ONE question. The person who asks the best and most creative question (as judged purely subjectively by me) will win a prize. A cool prize. It might be a fake moustache made out of my pubic hair. It might be a frozen spermsicle. It might be a nude portrait of me drawn by a blind woman who had to draw by touch. You’ll never know unless you ask!

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49 Replies to “Avitadeal or No Deal”

  1. Angel

    Here’s my question:

    If you could live one day as another person (not someone that is famous), in their life, who would you choose, and why?

    Also, I’ve already taken my sleeping pills, so I commented on the post that you linked to- the one from March. I edited it out, but I cannot delete it.

  2. Amanda

    If you had to choose only one kind of entertainment for a year, would you choose:

    A)The music of Avril Lavigne
    B)The television show(s)/movies of Tina Fey
    C)Monkey/snake/dolphin porn
    D)Girls Gone Wild: Barely Legal

  3. MsFreud

    Since “Tis the season and all that shit….

    “What was the worst Christmas Present you ever got that you had to pretend you loved it to spare the giver’s feelings?”… and I want details. Maybe an entire diatribe.

  4. Mr. Fabulous

    Why did you at first agree to hold a dancing rematch down the line, and then back out of it like a wussbunny?

    Poppy said it’s because Britt controls you and told you not to do it. I’m looking for the straight dope, Pilgrim.

    And don’t you lie to me, with my wife’s cookie crumbs still littering your colon!

  5. ADW

    OK, can I BE the blind woman drawing by touch? I will wear the blindfold.

    As for a question, here goes:

    Over the last little while that I have gotten to “know” you (and by “know”, I mean that you stalk me and send me dead animal body parts in the mail), I have found you to be an endless source of entertainment and joy. As such, I have decided that we should get a group of folks together and start our own country on a tropical island in the middle of the ocean. Since you will be, of course, the perfect choice for our leader, please list the other members of your ruling party (made of all bloggers) with their titles and general duties.

    That’s not phrased in the form of a question, but get over yourself Oh Great Leader. Now is not the time to get high and mighty on power and heroin.

  6. hellohahanarf

    if you could go back in time, when and where would you go? (small followup question: while there, would you change any event?)

    yeah, i know you said one question and technically that was two, but bite me. i’m curious as to how that gloriously whacked mind of your works.

  7. Poppy

    Fab! I said that in confidence!!!!

    (I totally don’t remember saying that.)

    (Hmm. I might have said it, but not like that. I think I more than likely said that Britt told Adam he can’t dance so he shouldn’t try anymore. I personally disagree; he can totally dance.)

  8. Miss Britt

    I actually have a video of Adam dancing that he won’t let me put on the Internet – although I’d love to. Adam swears to me he can’t dance, not the other way around.

    I’m not sure where this delusion came from that I control Avitable.

    I’d like to point out that he signs my paychecks, not the other way around.

  9. RW

    When two countries disagree about something they try to talk it out but sometimes it doesn’t work out and, before you know it, they’re yelling at one another and then – if things get really bad – they put all their guys in uniforms and go around killing one another. they kill each other, they kill women and children, they blow up buildings and they try to starve people to death.

    My question is… Who came up with that shit and since when is that, like, OK to the point where people are happy about doing it a lot of times?

  10. Sybil Law

    I m not sure if someone’s already asked this (I don’t have time to read all the comments), but –
    What made you start blogging, and what are the best/ worst things about it?
    Kinda lame but I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you discuss it!
    Also a spermcicle actually sounds better than the moustache.

  11. Mari

    Okay, lets assume that you are home, uhhh, blogging. Yes, blogging! Strangely, you are fully clothed (hey, just play along!). The doorbell rings. It’s either a Jehovah’s Witless or part of the Mormon Brigade. How wiil you scare them away? Remember, you are FULLY clothed!

  12. HoosierGirl5

    Okay, here goes: I have died and you have been named guardian of my 4 children. You can not ship them away or kill them. They HAVE to come live with you and your wife. What do you buy each of them for Christmas? REAL presents, not gag gifts. They are a 17 yr.old boy, a 16 yr.old girl, a 13 yr. old boy, and a 7 yr. old boy. And no fair saying you will send Amy or Britt to shop for you.

    Good luck! :lmao:

    J.

  13. NYCWD

    If you were a character on Heroes, what would your power be?

    Oh, and a word to the wise for Britt… be careful how much you control him. It could kill you.

    Look what having his hand up a frog’s ass for 20 years did to Jim Henson.

  14. Bec

    Ooo, you’ve reminded me about the post I never posted on the old site… Must find!

    Q: In the final battle between good and evil who will you be siding with and what will your role be?

  15. Gwen

    If zombie Jesus came back to lead the zombarmy in an epic battle for power against the evil forces of santa and his horrible minions, keeping in mind that santa has demon reindeer that fly and zombie Jesus controls the awesome power of the zombarmy and is one of the living dead, what shirt would you wear to watch the fight go down?

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