First, go see my guest post over at Tracy's. You can also see the full image here.
Secondly, go wish Britt's son Devin a happy birthday!
Thirdly, today is supposedly some blog crush day where you talk about your secret blog crush. Google it if you want more information - I'm too lazy. And while I have way too many blog crushes to list one in particular, I do expect several people to use their entire post today talking about me as their blog crush. Or there will be punishment!
Finally, I went to a friend's graduation from nursing school today over in Daytona Beach. The ceremony was quick, and it was nice seeing him get some recognition. On my drive home, since I was tired, I was blasting the radio and had the windows down, like usual. Flipping through the stations, I came across "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. For some reason, this song struck a chord, and I started singing. Loudly. And there may have been some dancing going on, too. I pulled up to a stop light in full-on gay diva dance mode and looked to my right. There was a car with four girls in it, all of the windows down, and they were listening to the same radio station and dancing and singing themselves. We glanced at each other, shared a moment, and finished the song in unison. Then, I went home, watched sports, grabbed my crotch, and watched lesbian porn. Is there anything else I should do to get my man card back?
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I would have paid good money to see that. Gorilla Boy car dancing. Ho to the motherfucking HO!
Comments by Tracy Lynn
I have a feeling you spend more time in full on gay diva mode than you let on
Comments by Amanda
My secret blog crush is imaginary. I think his name is Tony.
Wait, that was supposed to be a secret.
No fair, you tricked me!
Comments by Girl, Dislocated
Honey they set fire to your mancard a while ago. That's OK, because we like you the way you are and I fully expect at least 20 people to select you as their blog crush. M'kay?
Comments by ADW
You forgot to drink a 6-pack of PBR and eat a whole bag of pork rinds. Then you can get your man card back. Maybe.
Comments by Jay
You're my blogcrush. Or maybe it's Coffeypot. But you're the better dancer.
J.
Comments by HoosierGirl5
There is nothing you can do as long as Britt is working for you.
BTW, she emailed me your balls for safekeeping... I gave them to the cat.
Comments by Amy
I kinda like you without your man card. It's easier that way.
Comments by Miss Britt
If this post is true, then I am honor bound to...well....something.
Months ago you roundly mocked me for "car dancing". I can't remember what you said, but I am pretty sure that it made me cry.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
It's secret blog crush day? Fuck. It isn't on my calendar.
Does YouPorn count?
Comments by NYCWD
Tracy, I was shaking my groove thang!
Amanda, no, usually I'm very, very manly.
Girl, Dislocated, if by Tony, you mean me!
ADW, you'd better be one of them, bitchcakes.
Jay, I should go outside and fool around with the engine of my car, too, shouldn't I?
HG5, I'd hope so!
Amy, you gave my balls to your pussy?
Britt, easier to manipulate me and make me do everything you want me to do?
Mr. Fabulous, it's true. Did I mock you for car dancing? I don't remember that. I think it's a noble thing, actually.
NYCWD, yes. You can crush on Youtube, but that will apply to the millions of users, all at once.
Comments by Avitable
Wrenches. Hang some wrenches on your belt and walk around with a hammer. Then pound on stuff and grunt. You'll be back in no time.
Comments by RW
"a car with four girls in it...."
The fact that you didn't even consider a wild orgy at this point (gay diva mode or not) is evidence that your man card is long, long gone.
Comments by y not i
Maybe the man-card would come back if you ate beans, farted and gave Britt the day off.
Comments by metalmom
quick! look at these:
Comments by hellohahanarf
regarding blog crushes (since i don't have a blog i am listing them here...in NO particular order).
avi
britt
jester
killer
fabby
mist
so, what does it say about me that i have two married men, one gay man, two women and only one single guy as my crushes?
Comments by hellohahanarf
So, I'm supposed to list the blogs I crush on?
Comments by Poppy
The fact that you even sang and car danced to "I Will Survive" and were o.k. with it...that's man enough for anyone.
Comments by Jer
I just want to be punished.
Comments by Tug
Bitchcakes is the perfect love word for me.
Comments by ADW
submit to Coventry for one full week, and then maybe we'll talk about this man card of yours.
Comments by Crys
Ask Britt what her husband's favorite song to sing really loudly to is, and you will feel much better.
I still laugh myself sick thinking about it.
Comments by Britt's mom
@ Britt's Mom - do you happen to have any video of this singing? Email me!!!
And, yes, Adam, I gave your balls to my pussy... cat and she's smacking them around the kitchen on the cold, hard tile as we speak. This was the best Christmas present Britt could have ever sent me!!!!
Comments by Amy
My blog crush is myself... well, more specifically, the comments that are left on my own blog. I'm narcisisstic like that, but why am I wasting my time telling YOU that?
Comments by Wayne
My blog crush on you is sooooo secretive that I did not post about it...but I have one :).
Comments by Hilly
Nah, I think you should be good now.
Comments by Robin
Comments by liquid
I have some nice frilly panties and a hot pink feather boa you are more than welcome to. I figure you need something sexy to wear in your not so manly times.
Comments by Preposterous Ponderings
Here are a few ideas to help you along the way, sissy boy:
1. use power tools
2. write your name in the snow/sand
3. barbecue
4. break wind and admit it proudly
Comments by Gecko Rock
This is what happens when someone lives too close to "Mouseville".
:xmas1:
Love those Santas!!
Comments by TrishK
Sorry about the Gloria Gaynor episode. I'm sure we'll all still love you, no matter your latent homosexual tendencies. You could blow some snot rockets, spit while grabbing your crotch, and spank Mrs. Avitable during sex. That ought to do it.
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
Blog crush day?! Who invents this crap?
You are definitely one of my crushes, car dancing and all.
I'm always a day late with this crap. Good thing I don't really care, anyway.
Comments by Sybil Law
RW, great. Now I have to go out and buy some wrenches!
Y not I, oh, I considered it.
Metalmom, but I don't like beans and I don't believe in farting.
Hello, that might just work! And I'll choose to believe that you have favorites in a very particular order.
Poppy, no you were just supposed to post all about me.
Jer, that's a good way of looking at it.
Tug, dirty grandma!
ADW, it does seem to be very fitting.
Crystal, what's Coventry?
Mom, yeah, I know. But he's already got a girlish figure.
Amy, so it's the same thing you do to Mike's balls?
Wayne, because I'm your real crush. Clearly.
Hilly, I knew it.
Robin, yeah? You're too forgiving of Erik, though.
Liquid, he doesn't like being Santa.
Preposterous, oh, I already have my own!
Gecko, do I write my name in the snow/sand with a pencil or a stick or something?
TrishK, so Disney is pussifying?
CMG, ewwww! Snot rockets? Gross.
Sybil Law, I'm three days late in replying, so it's okay.
Comments by Avitable