Getting sick is fun! I especially love being congested!
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Yearbooking yourself is not a euphemism for nutshots in your yearbook
An autopsy of my top drawer
When men get sick, the world suffers
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Find me at:
Ow. Feel better, eat cookies.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
I hope you feel better soon, Christmas is stressful enough without this crap
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Dude! The ninjas are against you!
All this time you trusted them.
That sucks!
:cocksuck2:
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Twitter: Blogography
says:
It was only a matter of time… I swear, the entire state of Florida should be quarantined! I fell lucky to have escaped with my life!
Feel better.
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Damn. I was hoping to be in there somewhere. I guess I will just have to settle for being in your colon.
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Hope you feel better soon.
J.
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I’d pray for your recovery soon but I’m afraid God would have a heart attack and die. And then the whole Judeo/Christian metaphor would come deconstructed. And it would be all your fault. So, for the sake of the rest of the world, please stay sick k?
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But rememeber this:
We can walk hot coals
and have ninjas fight us.
But you can’t stop gingivitis.
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STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!
So help me God if I am sick on my vacation…. you will pay.
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Britt’s support has me weak in the knees
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Poppy, cookies and Diet Coke are cure-alls.
Amanda, especially since I have to cook Christmas dinner in five days!
BPR, I tried to tell them, “Dude, I’m a ninja, too”, but they just kept kicking and slicing.
Dave, you were sick before you got here, weren’t you? Are you Patient Zero?????
Fabulous, it’s warmer in there anyway.
HG5, I’m not coughing as much as my wife was. She had it even worse.
RW, pray to Buddha instead.
Todd, very true. Unless we floss.
Britt, maybe if you’d stop trying to make out with me every day you wouldn’t get sick.
Peggy, it’s her maternal instinct kicking in.
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Drink. I know you don’t usually, but straight bourbon should clear those germs out in no time. With the added bonus of us getting to see you drunk vlog.
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
OK, you’re going to hate me, but you seem like the kind of guy who’s into self-torture, so you might enjoy it.
Snort hydrogen peroxide. That will get rid of the nose/head stuff. Yeah, you’re head will explode and you’ll launch yourself through the roof while trying to deal with the pain, But in the end, the endorphine rush will be AMAZING! And? It really does clear up your snot.
Now, for the congestion in your chest? Yeah, I still stand behind my “add rum or Crown to your Diet Coke” or even some Jack. You won’t remember a thing…
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Poppy – I’m a giver.
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Oops – I mean PEGGY.
Sheesh.
I must have Poppy on the brain!!!
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i’ve never heard of snorting hydrogen peroxide. although my mom was a huge pusher of that nettie pot thingy where you pretty much pour salt water up the nose to flush out the sinus cavity. since you are a florida baby, can’t you jump in the ocean? that is a natural salt water up the nose flush!
for a sore throat i’m all about organic apple cider vinegar. it is some natural antibiotic or something. most folks say make a cup of hot water, add honey and the organic acv, then sip. but i hate the flavor and find that if i take a tablespoon of the stuff and pour it onto my tonsils, letting it sit as long as i can handle it. then swallow. instant relief from a sore throat.
i’m so done rambling. you stopped reading back when i said my mom used to pour salt water up her nose anyhow…
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Do you think you got this from making out with me or your wife?
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Oh dear Lord, the next thing you know he’ll be drawing a vagina.
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Click for larger? Are you insane!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
I find ice cream helps.
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I guess this is proof that having sex with transvestites is not the best idea. Even in the spirit of Christmas.
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aw…i sorry hon
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Make tea, with a big stupid chunk of ginger in the bottom of the mug. Add 1/2 to a full shot of Irish whiskey. Drink it hot. Either you’ll feel better or you won’t give a damn.
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I was going to suggest that saltwater thing up the nose, too. My mom swears by it but in all my years I’ve never actually done it.
Are you really cooking Christmas dinner?!
Anyway, that really sucks. I could break an arm and whine less than if I just have a cold.
I hope you feel better soon! I won’t be offended if you take a day off.
(I don’t know why but I thought you had just a nice, normal happy face smilie.)
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You added the CUP smiley? Seriously?!?!?!
Blaaarrrgghhh!
OMG, I totally forgot what your post was about…
Oh riiiiiiight, you’re sick.
Yes, yes you are. You are one sick puppy.
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Wouldn’t it be better if the party was in your pants instead?
Feel better! It sucks to be sick around the holidays.
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Twitter: Readerwrites
says:
AWW.. Feel better soon. Maybe some nice person other than me will send you more cookies. (I haven’t forgotten my promises of sweaters and cookies. I have been busy. I’ll get to all these things eventually).
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So we are both sick….wonderful….you better be recovered in 4 days! i will do my best as well
mas3: 
mas2:
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Being sick sucks.
We are all just getting over that junk.
Bulk up on Vitamin C and Zinc!
Feel better soon.
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Wahhhhhh I’m sick and congested.
Wahhhhhh I’m addicted to crack.
Boo hoo.
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Good then, I can stop blaming my coach for the fact that I have the flu and a bonus sinus infection and blame you instead. Fucker.
And yes, cookies or ice cream will fix anything, but diet coke is gross. Not as gross as diet pepsi tho.
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
Yeah, we’re all getting sick too – I started today. I shouldn’t even be looking at my laptop. Or your blog. Or your pimped out lungs.
Ninjas rock, tho.
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Well, if it makes you feel any better, I got my Christmas card today – YAY! Thankssomuch.
UPS, with my MOTHER’S GIFT, however…well they can suck my dick. If I had one.
Why did my daughter think that would sound better coming from a man?
:cocksuck2:
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You need some hot chocolate with marshmallows. And Mucinex
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Aw… that’s sucky. Would you feel better if I told you I sent you a present?
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ADW, I think that Youtube would catch fire if I did a drunk naked vlog.
CMG, ok, Heather, I love you and all, but you’re fucking crazy.
Britt, you’re not a giver. You’re a receiver!
Hello, I just drink lots of Diet Coke. It’s a cureall.
Clown, definitely from you.
Lisa, I draw vaginas in my spare time.
DB, why?
Robin, yeah, it numbs the pain.
TMP, well, anal sex is okay. Just not oral sex.
Crys, thanks.
Golfwidow, wow, that sounds atrocious!
Sybil, I am really cooking Christmas dinner. I do every year.
Amy, I mentioned it in my post like two or three days ago.
Hilly, the party in my pants is just laying around coughing right now.
Nina, I will wait patiently by the mailbox.
Julianne, don’t bring the black plague down here!
RaeJane, yeah, I’ve taken lots of vitamins recently.
Clown, HAHAHAHA!
WeeWorld, I left my germs all over your blog. And Diet Coke is awesome!
Wayne, ninjas did rock, before they went totally insane and flipped out on my lungs!
Tug, glad you got the card!
Peggy, I’ve got Mucinex here if it gets worse.
Gwen, yes. But you’d be lying, wouldn’t you?
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