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How to pronounce Avitable
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Find me at:
Am I freaking first?! How the hell… ?!
mas3:
Anyway, Merry Christmas to you!!! Hope you feel better soon!
I actually have a card for you stamped and ready to go but I suck on the time issue. So it’ll get there soon.
I had an ex boyfriend whose parents were atheists, so we had to celebrate “Winter Solstice” with them.
Talk about creepy. We don’t believe in anything but we still want gifts and Christmas trees! Ick.
xoxoxo
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Merry Christmas Avitable
I am so glad I’ve discovered your blog this year, you’ve kept me entertained and coming back for more. I’m still waiting for more of that novel 
Oh god, I just noticed the two girls and a cup emoticon…
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You didn’t sign up to get cookies from me…well, a chance to get cookies…because I can’t bake for everyone.
Merry Ho Ho Ho to you, too!
mas2: :boobs1: 
mas2:
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Hey Avitable
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays or whatever the hell is PC nowadays (who can keep up?!?) Sorry there’s been no Christmas cards from me but I’m totally opposed to wasting time, money and trees on the damn things. The thought’s sincere though.. hope you and yours have a safe and happy silly season.
Cheers
Robyn
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I was totally envisioning ME having one too.
A fatal flaw in the plan, obviously.
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I ate your Xmas present. Sorry man.
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Thank you Adam for being YOU and having a really kick ass blog!!! Merry Christmas!!
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I would like to thank your penis for never letting me down, either.
Merry Christmas!
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
I assume your card for me is in the mail?
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your blog has been one hell of a gift to me.
merry christmas!
(i know i shouldn’t ask, but what are you hoping sants throws down your chimney?)
mas1:
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Sounds like an impressive loot.
The readers of my blog just send me dog turds and pig intestines. But it’s the thought that counts I suppose.
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Merry Christmas! Thanks for the card. We just got it yesterday
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Merry Christmas and thanks for the laughs!!
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
I love that song “you can eat the corn out of my shit!”
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I totally forgot what I was going to say because all of your whacked Smilies are bouncing and peeing and swaying (and some huge buttcheeks are walking and breast are swirling giving me girl wood) and this happens everytime I come here and I just can’t follow through. Huh? What?
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Merry Christmas from Indiana!
mas1:
Love ya,
J.
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Merry Christmas! Thanks so much for the Christmas card. Bur got a kick out of it
If I was any kind of friend I would have put some time and effort in and sent out something but well… yeah.
Now, go back to bed.
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I got the middle frame of the video?! HOLY SHIT!
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Yah, I didn’t send you anything (yet) besides a card. I’m procrastinating on sending out gifts to the nation. I’ve got something for you, though…
FEEL BETTER, DAMMIT.
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You are such a sapppy bastard.
You’re even hotter when you’re sick.
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Sybil Law, you are usually three days behind, so being the first commenter is quite an achievement.
Dee, once the holidays are over, I’ll be working on more of that novel.
KG, I was promised cookies from you two years ago. I’m still waiting!
Borys, same to you!
Britt, well, your birthday is coming up soon.
Absurdist, you ate an XBOX 360?
Janelle, Merry Christmas to you too.
Y Not I, it gets Christmas cards from many admirers.
Amanda, yeah. You should have gotten it by now, actually.
Hello, I pretty much buy what I want, so the only real gifts I’ll get will be ones I specifically put on a wish list and avoided purchasing.
Dan, hey, those were high quality dog turds!
Beth, sweet!
Metalmom, same to you.
Robin, yeah. It’s the best Butt Trumpets one ever.
Deb, it’s all part of my evil hypnotic plan.
HG5, Indiana? Is that one of those flyover states?
Peggy, glad you liked it.
Poppy, it’s an accidental honor!
Amy, same to you! Fucker.
Mr. Fabulous, that’s what my forehead says, too.
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I know! Those are the best kind.
PS – Got your Christmas card today. Grazie.
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Hot Chocolate comes from Santa’s butthole? Ah! Ok… that probably explains the aftertaste that some inferior qualities of hot chocolate have…
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Poppy, did you think it was funny?
DB, did you comment on the wrong post? And yes, only pure butthole hot chocolate is awesome.
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OK… yes… probably… fuck it! I am putting the comment at the right post now so you can reply to it AGAIN!
Do it!
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It was hilarious, Dr. Lawyer. The only terms and conditions I’m ever going to read without being forced, that’s for sure. My favorite part is where you begged for a gift as if it was a requirement of reading the card.
Next year I demand a photo of Jigsaw. A personal-just-for-me photo of Jigsaw, or one that goes on the front of the card, your choice.
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
I must agree, it’s my favorite one to sing when I’m driving at pissed at the Massholes.
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DB, :2girls:
Poppy, I think I’m doing a fake newsletter next year, so Jigsaw will be there.
Robin, I can imagine.
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Yaaaaaaay to fake newsletter, boooooooooo to 2 girls 1 cup.
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Poppy, yay to 2 girls 1 cup!
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Adam. You’re telling me you’d enjoy watching two girls of whatever degree of hotness squish their own shit through their teeth? You are one sick fuck.
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Poppy, no, but I love watching an animated GIF do it!
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Yah, me too. :2girls:
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