Someone’s birthday

As many of you know, today marks the birthday of someone very important to the world. Someone that garners praise and prayer and causes riots and celebrations and erections. Someone that people dream about, talk to on a daily basis, and think about constantly. Someone with an awesome rack and an ass that can’t be beat. I’m talking, of course, about our very own ADW!

This little blonde bombshell turns 30 today, and she is only improving with age. She’s sassy, sarcastic, snide, and sexy. She’s a party animal with the mouth of a sailor and the gaseous explosions of the Hindenberg. She’s got a sharp tongue and an even sharper wit. I’m proud to call her bitchcakes.

Happy birthday, ADW!

Penis Cake

It’s also the birthdays of some of my other favorite people: Stephanie, Liquid, and (tomorrow), Clown!

Oh, and people celebrate Jesus’s birthday today, but he wasn’t actually born today at all, so we’ll wait until the spring for that, k?

Enjoy this post? Try these:
A difficult day
Friday is for bullets.
Happy birthday to me.
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30 Responses to Someone’s birthday

  1. Nina
    Twitter:
    says:

    Avi, I love you and everything, but that’s just kind of… gross. Could you at least put a condom on it? It’s scaring me.

    (I don’t see men-parts very often). (Never).

    Merry Christmas!

    Reply

  2. Mr. Fabulous says:

    I’ll take ADW and Stephanie over Jesus any day.

    Merry Christmas!

    Reply

  3. Aunt Robin says:

    My husband brought your card in from the mailbox yesterday. What a surprise! Great card! Thank you and Amy and Merry Christmas to you both.

    Reply

  4. Zom says:

    *snicker* Nina said …. “see men” :cocksuck2:

    Reply

  5. AnnieB says:

    Merry Christmas!

    Reply

  6. DutchBitch says:

    Happy Birthday to all of ya!

    And ehm… I didn’t know you had a detachable penis ánd a piercing…

    Reply

  7. Avitable says:

    Amanda, same to you!

    Nina, you don’t see man parts very often? And you visit my blog? Have you seen this post (well, it’s on Britt’s blog, but it’s about me): http://miss-britt.com/2007/08/i-expect-the-ransom-note-any-minute/.

    Mr. Fabulous, but would they take you?

    Robin, glad you liked it. Merry Christmas!

    Zom, I’m still chuckling over “man parts”.

    AnnieB, that’s it? No snide remark? Who are you and what have you done with the real AnnieB?

    DB, and my dick’s made of icing!

    Reply

  8. Jay
    Twitter:
    says:

    Merry Christmas Mr. Avitable.

    Reply

  9. Peggy says:

    Merry Christmas :angel:

    Reply

  10. Amy says:

    Merry Christmas!!!!

    :heartbeat:

    Reply

  11. HoosierGirl5 says:

    My birthday is July 1. I’m just telling you, in case you want to know…..

    Interesting picture. Did you…um…eat it?

    Hope you had a good day,
    j.

    Reply

  12. Poppy says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EVERYONE WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT IS!

    My grandmother made Jesus a cake. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it wasn’t actually his birthday.

    Reply

  13. Avitable says:

    Peggy, Cherry Mistmas!

    Amy, what, no birthday salutations for ADW?

    HG5, that’s a long time from now. You’ll have to remind me! And that’s not my cake – just something I found online.

    Poppy, did Jesus blow out the candles?

    Reply

  14. Happy Birthday everyone!

    I want a cake like that for my birthday too.Not only shall it look good but it better vibrate also! :boobs4:

    Reply

  15. hellohahanarf says:

    happy birthday to all!

    avi, my card arrived yesterday. great timing. and i loved it…thanks.

    hope you got a calendar for christmas. so that you can write down july 5th. i’ll be 37 and will eagery anticipate the arrival of another avitable original.

    which reminds me, last night i shared your poem. they loved that you got fucktard in your version. great job.

    and since today is kinda the last day that i can use this…here goes…

    :x mas4:

    Reply

  16. Poppy says:

    No. I did — at Grandma’s request. Only one candle to blow.

    (I’m being serious, but again it sounds filthy. I blame the cold medicine that only works until fuckin 3:30am.)

    Reply

  17. Poppy says:

    *fucking

    I swear, but not hickily. Damn G!!

    Reply

  18. Poppy says:

    PS – DID YOU GIVE ME YOUR COLD??!!! HOW’D YOU DO THAT??!!!?! THE HOLIDAY CARD? OR WERE YOU IN MY BEDROOM DROOLING INTO MY EYES?!?!?!

    Reply

  19. Lisa says:

    Merry Christmas…a day late and dollar short.

    Obviously you did not read my birthday post.

    http://fookityfook.com/2007/12/24/christmas-new-yearswhat-about-me/

    The one about how I get screwed every year. I also must not be one of your favorite people. That’s ok…I can take it, sniff, sniff. I have a cold, I’m not crying.

    Reply

  20. tana says:

    I thought jesus’ birthday was in August; I could have sworn I saw some kind of expose that hypothesized that. Oh well.

    Happy Boxing Day. Ha-ha. Time to take down my crispy tree.

    Reply

  21. Sybil Law says:

    Happy Birthday ADW!
    That cake… hmm….
    All I know is I have GOT to stop checking your blog with my 6 year old around! When will I ever learn?!

    Reply

  22. stephanie says:

    Thanks for the shoutout Avi! Much love and hugs to you and Amy for the new year!

    PS – Did I have to be mentioned in the same post as a pierced penis cake?! :D

    Reply

  23. Avitable says:

    Preposterous, you can sit on the cake anytime.

    Hello, you shared my poem with your family? Your poor family. You’ll have to remind me when your birthday gets closer.

    Poppy, you gave me your cold!

    Lisa, I did read that, but I was just doing the people on Christmas! I still have a whole day for your birthday.

    Tana, yeah, you might be right about it being in August.

    Sybil, it’s a good education for him.

    Steph, the pierced penis cake isn’t something you want for your birthday?

    Reply

  24. Poppy says:

    I did not, fucker! You gave me your ninja cold!!! And the entire blogosphere is sick because of YOU! Not ME.

    Reply

  25. Poppy says:

    Remember you drew a photo of ninjas in your lungs?

    Ninja cold.

    Reply

  26. Poppy says:

    And by photo I mean picture. (SEE? Ninja cold.)

    Reply

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