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Can you hear me now?

With talking geckos, creepy mask-wearing kings, butchered classic songs, and annoying spokespersons like Jared and that Verizon guy, marketing seems to have hit an all-time low. Ads are just getting stupider and stupider, and their ability to interest anyone other than the slackest jawed yokel in their products has diminished significantly.

I think that this decline in advertising is all a direct result of the FTC’s “truth in advertising” requirement. Back in the good old days, when I was just a glimmer in my dad’s sac, ads threw truth and decency to the wind. Anything they could do to titillate, shock, scare, or amuse, they would. That might just be what we need to make people care about ads again!

In that vein, here’s a little contest. Which of these are real ads and which are fake?







Leave your answer in the comments. The winner gets an original Avitable artwork! If there are multiple winners, I’ll just choose one at random.

44 thoughts on “Can you hear me now?”

  1. Okay, I know I keep saying all over the Internet that I’m a computer loser :deadhorse: …but I really am! I can’t read any of the ads, lol. I’m trying and squinting and squinting and squinting, but no luck.

    So I’ll just throw out a guess….the baby with…cigarettes is it? Yeah, that one.

  2. I’m gonna take one for the team and say that ALL of them are real.

    and the burger king ad that creeps me out the most, is the one where the guy is looking at BK way out in the yard , then turns away for a second, then turns back, and that creepy mother fucker is standing RIGHT FUCKING THERE!!!! *shiver*

  3. I know the first one is real because I saw it on another source. I’m doubting the last one, and saying that’s the fake – but wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was real too. You should get the cigarette ads that tout improvements to your health obtained from smoking!

  4. Britt, you mean you don’t douche with Lysol?

    Amanda, but that’s what wives are for!

    Sybil, I didn’t photoshop anything.

    BlondeBlogger, sweetheart, you do realize you have to click on each image, right?

    Angel, we’ll see – thanks for guessing!

    Jay, isn’t that 100% true, though?

    Amy, I wouldn’t do a victory dance yet!

    Zom, yeah. Maybe their message is “Eat a Whopper or we’ll send a serial killer after you.”

    Dee, that’s one theory, I guess.

    Turnbaby, remind me not to show up outside your window with a mask on.

    TrishK, aren’t you old enough to remember these ads?

    Deanna, if not, that would be pretty eerie, wouldn’t it?

    CMG, I guess we’ll see.

    RW, yeah, I saw some of those, too. Cigarettes were like the Atkins Diet of the 40s and 50s.

  5. Cute. Don’t know which are real, but I like them.

    You know, for the most part, I actually like a lot of the commercials that are out. Less than 50%, but there are some good ones.

    1. The Fedex commericial where the guy goes around the table and tells everyone what their job is.

    2. My new fav: The guy asks the other guy to submit his receipt for a burger for his expense report, and he asks the guy if he can just photocopy his butt.

    I hate the Fav5 commercial. That one drives me nuts. I did like the caveman commercials, but I do hate the gecko ones. I also hate those ones where they bring in some actor to enact a real person’s experience. Those SUCK.

    In Business Week, this week, there is a great print ad. You would probably only find it hilarious if you are a techy…Well, I can’t find it online. Someday I will.

  6. I think #4 is the only real one, though I’m wavering on the last one. It’s just bizarre enough to be legit. I have a few magazines from the early 1900’s and some of the ads are pretty damn strange.

  7. Absurdist, I don’t mind the Geico commercials with the re-enactments. The James Lipton one is funny.

    Em, thanks for playing!

    Y Not I, yeah, they are!

    Christie, but no rolling on the floor?

    Trish, it’s okay – just think of Herbert Hoover and you’ll feel happy!

    Linda, did you Google them?

    Sinjin, thanks!

    Metalmom, maybe. We’ll see . . .

    Turnbaby, I have no idea why it doesn’t work for you. And now that Joe’s not around to help anymore, I’m fucked!

    Cheri, why’s it lame? That’s a valid guess.

    Tracy, it’s amazing that it’s not.

    Poppy, you should repost that video for all of your new readers.

    Blondeblogger, suuurrreeee, blame the computer.

    L, did you make him watch the fingerpaint one, too?

    Golfwidow, you mean they don’t echo your own feelings on the subjects?

    This Mom, thanks for the vote!

  8. Um, I decline to guess about the ads, but I’ll vote that this post is fake. I think someone else made your blog post today, so it’s not real. Tomorrow you’ll give us a real post.

  9. cocksuckin monkeyfuckin fat hairy rat bastard piece of shit stolen internet! i can’t enlarge any of these. rrrrrrrrrr.

    must break down and actually pay for internet access. SOON.

    until then, i am rendering a vote that all are real. because folks used to lie their asses off.

    wait, they still do. truth in advertising my ass.

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