Bunch of random shit today:
1. The contest
I asked you to guess which ads were real and which were fake. The correct answer is that all of them are, in fact, real. Even the Pakistan Airline one, the spanking one, and the douching one.
The winning votes were, in order of their guess:
1. Zom
2. Dee (http://buddingartist.blogspot.com/)
3. Coal Miner's Granddaughter (http://coalminersgd.blogspot.com/)
4. Linda~
5. Metalmom (http://dontwannahearit.com/)
6. Golfwidow (http://www.golfwidow.net/)
7. This Mom (http://blondechickbloggin.blogspot.com/)
8. Mrs. RW
I found a randomizer website, put in 1 through 8, and the winner chosen by random was:
Heather, aka Coal Miner's Granddaughter!
Congratulations! Heather, you win an original Avitable artwork with the topic of your choice. Just comment and let me know what you want me to draw, or email me directly, and I'll get right on it.
Thanks to everyone for playing!
2. The special day
Tomorrow is the birthday of one of my favorite people in the whole world. I'm talking, of course, about my sister-in-law. It's also the birthday of some drunken gutter slut that I know (and an old lady I know too). I meant to do this like a week ago, but I'm a fucking slacker. If anyone wants to send Britt a birthday card or gift, you can send them to me and I'll give them to her. As everyone probably knows by now, my address is: 605 Birch Blvd, Altamonte Springs, FL 32701.
Also, in one week and two days (on the 26th) is an even more important birthday - mine! My 30th birthday was last year, and it totally sucked due to a death in the family and general business stress, so I'm determined to have a good birthday this year! And I have absolutely no shame in posting my Amazon.com wish list right here for the world to see.
Since my birthday is actually on a Saturday, and nobody reads blogs over the weekend, I have a special birthday post from a very special guest on next Friday, the 25th, instead! Stay tuned for that.
3. The interview
Sybil Law had one of those interview posts, and I decided to go for it. I'm not going to continue it by asking anyone interview questions, unless you have a burning desire to have me ask you deeply personal intimate details of your life. If so, just let me know.
1.) If you were to visit me, say now, when it's 13 degrees out, would you still wear shorts?
When I lived in Saint Louis, during law school, I would wear a coat and hat when it got very cold, but still just wear shorts. I'm not sure why, but if my upper torso is warm, my legs don't get cold. So, my answer is no, I'd be bare-ass naked!
2.) What do you imagine any aliens would be like?
Assuming you're not talking about Mexicans, I imagine that any alien species that might exist would not be an intelligent species, but rather just a creature indigenous to its environment, like a butterfly or a lizard.
3.) What's the difference between soup and gravy? You can eat both with a spoon.
I won't eat either, so it's a moot point.
4.) Describe a perfect night for you:
A perfect night for me would be going out for a nice steak, going to the movies, then coming home and hanging out on the couch before going to bed. Did I mention I'm naked and surrounded by 16-year old girls?
5.) Do you actually watch all the videos you link to on your blog, you sick fucker?!
The dolphin blowjob and snake fucking videos I watched completely and have no problem with them at all. I couldn't make it through more than four seconds of 2girls1cup, and I watched most of 4girlsfingerpaint with my hands over my eyes. I'm not a fan of any scat or vomit fetish porn - skeeves me out big time!
Okay, that's it for now. See you tomorrow for a special birthday tribute post.
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
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tagged 
Might want to add the " < " beofre the src="http://realtime.amazon.com/swf/wishlistwidget.swf"
allowScriptAccess="never"
quality='high'
bgcolor='#FFFFFF'
width="225"
height="265"
name="_po_wishlistwidget"
align=""
type="application/x-shockwave-flash"
pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"
FlashVars="wishlist_id=1FKRXV6J8G361&service_host=realtime.amazon.com" />
I think it will work better
Comments by bluepaintred
Jesus, I haven't been here for 8 fucking days and you've done 3 posts in 1! Good god, man.
Comments by bobgirrl
Pee ess : Pls send interview questions ASAP
Comments by bluepaintred
Your Amazon thingy isn't working :)
If you were here right now, you'd be wearing that coat and hat. It is cold as fuck.
Comments by Amanda
For some reason I expected your Amazon wish list to be full of freaky movies and stuff. It was all pretty normal. I think I'm kind of disappointed.
Comments by Jay
Uhm, it is both mine and Miss Britt's birthday on the 17th. We're twins.
Comments by Kentucky Girl
Would it be insulting if I got you a gift certificate for some hair plugs for your birthday?
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
So are you one of those people who think that posting your address ISN'T a bad thing? Or is it bait for someone to come mess with you and then you lock them up for a few years in the basement, torture them and then release them with a "Psyche!"
Comments by Wayne
I would love some interview questions. I am curious about what in the world you would ask me.
You're going to be 31? Really? Wow, that makes me feel old. (sigh)
Happy Birthday to you both.
J.
Comments by HoosierGirl
BPR, it worked for me in the preview - somehow the embed code disappeared upon publishing. It's fixed now, though. And I'll send interview questions shortly.
Bobgirrl, and that's why you need to come here on a daily basis.
Amanda, I included a link to it, too. It's a little chilly here, too.
Jay, I don't think Amazon sells some of the freakier stuff I'd want.
KG, yeah, I know. I was going to mention you in tomorrow's post, but I added a little note to this one, too.
Fab, fucker.
Wayne, if someone's determined enough to find it, they could. I'm in the phone book. Besides, if anyone really wants to come all the way to Orlando to stalk me, I'd be flattered.
HG5, that's funny, because I feel old, too! I'll email you with interview questions shortly.
Comments by Avitable
Damn, you're tough to shop for. I wanted to give you a surprise! I thought I'd make you soup,or buy you a gravy boat but you fucked that up!
I'm always up for an interview. Will the questions be scary??? I can't wait!
Comments by metalmom
Oh you're such a liar - I am totally your favorite person in the whole wide world.
It's what makes our relationship so innately inappropriate.
Comments by Miss Britt
I won! I won! Woo hoo!
Hmmmm, original Avitable artwork. OK, you know the banner on my site? A coal tipple, grandpa, me, and the Atlanta skyline? Redo that for me, baby!
Hope your 31st birthday is better than the 30th!
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
I cannot believe Lysol was used for douching. Gives a whole new meaning to "that clean feeling" Ouch!
Well, there goes my budget for the month. Postage stamps for birthday cards. No, I am not going to Amazon..sorry. But I will send you happy thoughts and maybe a McDonalds gift certificate??
Comments by Trishk
I am so not getting anything for you off your wish-list. You will get a special present, and you will like it.
Comments by The Absurdist
Eeek on the Pakistani Air ad and Lysol for douche –wow
I'm in the mood for some trouble–ask away and I'll answer!
Comments by Turnbaby
You want 76 things for your birthday? Bossy doesn't even have room in her house for 76 things, even small things.
Comments by BOSSY
It was 16 degrees here in Michigan. I don't see many folks wearing shorts in the winter here.
My birthday is also on the 26th and I'll be 72. I hope you have a great day and keep up the fun on the blogs.
Comments by alan7933
I think I'd like a video of you being skeeved out. Yeah... that would be cool.
You should do that. Avitable's reaction to...
*insert something cringe-worthy here*
Comments by Amy
Lots of January birthdays.... Hope that you have a much better birthday this year than last year!
Comments by themuttprincess
Happy upcoming bdays to you, britt, and KG!
There is seriously such a thing as a vomitting fetish? Really? I have a HUGE vomitting phobia so that just freaks the fuck out of me.
I always heard that a good self-defense trick if you ever get raped is to vomit on your attacker. With my luck, I'd get raped by a guy with a vomit fetish.
Comments by BlondeBlogger
The Lysol ad was the most surprising to me, thought I would not doubt it was true.
I am not interested in the links to the 2girls1cup or fingerpaint one, but thanks for the offer. LOL. I have heard of them, though.
Comments by Lynda
I think I have some faith in the world just by the fact you couldn't watch 2 Girls 1 Cup.
Comments by Robin
Yay! You did the question thing!! Good answers!
Your birthday?! Damn. AND Britt's? Yeesh. Does she get the day off of work?!
Now I am off to look at your wish list....
Oh and I am so glad to hear you don't really enjoy the other videos!!! Phew!
Comments by Sybil Law
What?!! You don't really watch the videos?!! Damnit Dude here I have been tweaking my homemade video, "A Redneck, 2 cans of chili and an old Folgers can" for you to feature on your blog... Fuck it! I'm deleting it now, I just can't believe you would toy with us like that!
Comments by Y2k Survivor
I already made your birthday card, and now it's even sealed in the envelope! Would you care at all if I sent it early? See, I have this problem with the post office. I don't know why, but I never get things out in time, so it'll be better if I send it early!
Comments by Sybil Law
Metalmom, hahah - very funny. I'll get on the interview, and the questions will be highly intimate and personal.
Britt, well, that and the gutter slutness.
CMG, okay, you got it. I'll work on that and get it to you.
Trish, it's better than Clorox used for wiping! I like McDonald's and Burger King.
Absurdist, I am sure I will!
Turnbaby, okay, I'll email you shortly.
Bossy, you should see my office. Piled high with small things.
Alan, well, happy early birthday, and thanks for the visit!
Amy, it might include vomit.
TMP, I think it will be.
Blondeblogger, have you watched 2girls1cup?
Lynda, it's always good to expand your horizons.
Robin, yeah, I suppose that's true.
Sybil, yeah, the videos aren't my cup of tea either.
Y2K, I think I'd pay good money to watch your video.
Sybil, you can send it early. I don't mind.
Comments by Avitable
No, I'd never even heard about it before. My daughter told me what it was about today (she hasn't seen it either...only heard about it), so there's no way in hell I'm ever watching it, lol!
Comments by BlondeBlogger
BPR, it worked for me in the preview - somehow the embed code disappeared upon publishing. It's fixed now, though. And I'll send interview questions shortly.
Obviously you and I have differing opinions on the meaning of the word "shortly"
Comments by bluepaintred
BB, the first smiley in my list of smilies covers it pretty well.
BPR, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting around to it!
Comments by Avitable