AvitaWeek 2008: Hair of the gorilla that bit you

It’s Day 2 of AvitaWeek 2008, counting down to my 31st birthday. As always, you are encouraged to send me cards and prezzies, as those crazy Brits call them. You can even see what I like on my wishlists!

When I was trying to come up with ideas for this week, I knew that I’d have to make it more about me than usual. Since I’m an egotistical fuck, this is more difficult than it seems. I came to realize that there is very little about myself that hasn’t made it on this blog in some form or another, and that the only way to make this week different from others was to get more in-depth with Avitable. More familiar. More intimate. And clearly, there was only one solution.

So, without further ado, I present:

An Intimate Portrait of Avitable, AKA


Guess the Body Part!

Can you match the picture with the body part? You can click for a larger version (although I don’t know why you’d ever want these images to be larger on your computer screen). The body parts are:

1. Shoulder
2. Knee
3. Testicle
4. Butt cheek
5. Foot
6. Stomach
7. Chest

Leave your guesses in the comments. I don’t think I’m going to give out a prize for this one, though. Because just by reading this post, we’re all winners. Or is it losers?

And, while you’re at it, head over to Amy at Amy’s Musings to answer a plea she has for gift ideas for my birthday.

Enjoy this post? Try these:
AvitaWeek 2008: Now you talk
AvitaWeek 2008: Two for the price of one
Memes aren’t just for weekends anymore
This entry was posted in Photos and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

94 Responses to AvitaWeek 2008: Hair of the gorilla that bit you

  1. Miss Britt says:

    1. Chin
    2. Eyelid
    3. Elbow
    4. Tongue
    5. Forehead
    6. That bald spot on the back of your head
    7. Taint

    YAY! I win!!!

    Send me prizes!!!

    Reply

  2. Dee says:

    Ooooh, that was fun!

    1. Chest
    2. Foot
    3. knee
    4. testicle
    5. butt cheek
    6. Knee
    7. Stomach

    Although I’m concerned that I’m not sure 4 and 6 are round the right way because then when you get old and your testicles hang near your knees there’s going to be no telling the difference…

    Reply

  3. bluepaintred says:

    NO. NONONONO

    I refuse to do this!

    And, shave your testicles for Fucks sake!

    Reply

  4. Jay
    Twitter:
    says:

    1. Butt cheek
    2. Testicle
    3. Testicle
    4. Butt cheek
    5. Butt cheek
    6. Testicle
    7. Butt cheek

    I just think you really like taking close up pictures of those parts of your body.

    Reply

  5. Y2k Survivor says:

    What?!! How would I know what your ass and testicles look like? What the fuck did Britt say?!! I don’t know nuttin, In fact I have never seen those things on you… I mean if I had it would only be because they were like.. you know… THERE… someplace where they didn’t belong and I thought, “Wow that’s fuckin weird I can see Avitable’s ass and balls and…” but I would have only seen them and noticed because it was out of the norm, not because I wanted to know what they looked like so I could identify them in a picture line up. I mean… you know… not like staring

    Oh yeah… no wonder Britt bitches about her job. I can’t believe you made her take all those pics with her new camera. OH and I have no idea what #2 but I can see a face dude! It’s like some mutant out of Total Recall!

    Reply

  6. Karen says:

    I am too disturbed to attempt to guess. Oh, I will check back to see the answers.

    Reply

  7. Wayne
    Twitter:
    says:

    It’s a trick question. They’re all the inside of your nose.

    Reply

  8. jester says:

    I’m frightened by the length of time I spent staring at these photos and then examining my OWN anatomy to figure it out.

    1 butt cheek
    2 foot
    3 chest
    4 testicle
    5 knee
    6 shoulder
    7 stomach

    Reply

  9. Aunt Robin says:

    1. Knee
    2. Foot
    3. Chest
    4. Testicle
    5. Shoulder
    6. Stomach
    7. Tush

    If I’m even close, I’m gonna seriously worry about myself.

    :banghead:

    Reply

  10. HoosierGirl says:

    Um…they’re ALL covered in hair. :cock:

    I’m afraid to guess.

    J.

    Reply

  11. Avitable says:

    Britt, no fair – you were the photographer.

    Amanda, I think you meant “turn me on”.

    Dee, you mean I’m not supposed to be able to spin my balls like a lasso?

    BPR, oh yeah – you like small hairless men.

    Jay, how’d you guess?

    Y2K, this is one of the perks of the job.

    Karen, disturbed is good. It means you’re normal.

    Wayne, yeah, but which nostril?

    Jester, you spend hours examining your own anatomy anyways – who are you kidding?

    Robin, tell you what. If you win, I’ll send you all of the original pictures.

    HG, I am ALL covered in hair, from head to toe.

    Robin, you’ll miss out on gorilla love that way!

    Reply

  12. metalmom says:

    Hmm…I’ve seen your testicles before but I’m still not sure of these photos! I’ll try anyway..

    1 Knee
    2 foot
    3 stomach
    4 chest
    5 testicle
    6 shoulder
    7 butt

    Did I do good?? :cock:

    Reply

  13. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Dear God, haven’t we seen enough of your ball sack?

    Reply

  14. Poppy says:

    I love the Avitaweek image at the top. :P

    I’m not playing this game since I’d totally win and I hate to win.

    Reply

  15. Cheri says:

    I’m with Robin on the hair comment – ugh!
    I’m not even going to try to guess. lol
    Happy Birthday!
    No, I’m not waiting 3 days – I’m saying it everyday this week, ok? Good!
    So :sex023:

    Reply

  16. Hilly says:

    Wow, and I thought you were kidding on Twitter ;) . I’m awful at guessing but I’d just like to register another complaint about someone being younger than I am…geez. ;)

    Reply

  17. Trishk says:

    OMG…you need a wax job!! I can’t even begin to play along. It is just too frightening.

    Reply

  18. Avitable says:

    Metalmom, those are some interesting guesses. Stay tuned.

    Mr. Fabulous, I don’t know the meaning of the word enough.

    Poppy, well, you do own a copy of Avitable Gone Wild: the XXX edition, so you’re probably right.

    Cheri, all that hair keeps me warm. I don’t shed, I promise. And I’m okay with you saying it every day of the week.

    Hilly, I never kid. :D

    Trish, an all over body wax job might make me go into shock.

    Reply

  19. the108 says:

    How’s about you come over for a full body wax? After we do me, we can do you.

    Reply

  20. It’s official – you are the biggest blog whore ever!
    Happy Birthday you ho!
    ROFLMAO!
    :sexytime:

    Reply

  21. Avitable says:

    The108, nobody around here will wax most parts of men. They’ll only do women.

    Karen, as long as it’s official!

    RW, this is what I resort too when you abandon us in the blogosphere. I blame you.

    Reply

  22. Amy says:

    :lmao: I still love this idea.
    :sexytime:

    Reply

  23. Poppy says:

    OMG, #1 is SO EASY and everyone’s being redonk.

    Ok, it’s not my fault that I was sent a copy FOR FREE before Britt came along and straightened you out on the whole for-profit thing.

    Want it back?

    Reply

  24. Poppy says:

    (and by came along I meant moving to FL. I DID NOT PRE-DATE BRITT. Oops.)

    Reply

  25. Nina says:

    Not registering guesses but I am pretty sure that 4 is you knee and like, 7? is maybe your stomach?

    When, exactly, is your birthday? Mine is tomorrow. Be nice to me. (Tomorrow).

    Reply

  26. Miss Britt says:

    Poppy, I think you actually did Pre-Date me. I’m pretty sure you’ve known Adam wayyy longer than me.

    Reply

  27. the108 says:

    I’d do it in a second. It might hurt but it could still be fun.

    Reply

  28. Jeff says:

    I think this is a trick quiz, because I’m pretty sure #4 is your vagina.

    Reply

  29. Poppy says:

    Britt, really?! For reals?! I just assumed he’s known you longer. Um, Adam? You probably know the answer to this one… Are you done getting your neck sliced yet? Hurry the eff up.

    Reply

  30. miss britt says:

    nope. We compared notes- he’s known you longest :)

    So… Dish. Which part is which?

    Reply

  31. Poppy says:

    That surprises the hell outta me.

    The flattest thing in the pile is his ass. The end.

    Reply

  32. Maggie says:

    I may never forgive Nina for sending me to this post.

    But Happy Birthday!

    Reply

  33. Miss Britt says:

    Why does that surprise you?

    I’ve only known Adam for like slightly over a year. I remember because last year for my birthday he bought me a DVD player and I was all “who the fuck is this crazy bastard?!!”

    At least, that’s how I remember it.

    Reply

  34. metalmom says:

    You told Cheri that you don’t shed. If that’s the case, as long as you stay off the furniture and are housebroken, you can visit me sometime.

    Reply

  35. Crys says:

    for whatever reason, during my first pass of this post, i didn’t see the word “testicle”. i could have blocked it out. after reading the comments, however, i cannot blot the truth out. your testicle is there, in photographic form. and i’m supposed to guess? since you’re forcing me, 2. nobody else has said it and anyway, i’m psychic wrt testicles.

    Reply

  36. Avitable says:

    Amy, where are your guesses?

    Poppy, nah – we sold the licensing to some Korean porn company.

    Nina, you should just make that picture your desktop wallpaper on your computer. For posterity. Your birthday is tomorrow? Happy birthday – how old are you?

    Britt, I haven’t been blogging long enough for it to be wayyy longer.

    108, you’re on. I’ll be at your house tomorrow. Do you do balls and taints too?

    Jeff, shhhh, don’t ruin the surprise!

    Crystal, that’s it? Are you afraid of guessing wrongly?

    Tracy, oh, I’ll show you the originals if you want to be blind.

    Poppy, I have a curvaceous ass!

    Peggy, hirsute not your thing?

    Maggie, thanks for the visit and comment!

    Britt, I got my first comment from Poppy on 3/21/06 and from you on 7/6/06. Not that long.

    Metalmom, I do hump things, though.

    Crystal, you’re a ball psychic?

    Reply

  37. bluepaintred says:

    He might be skinny, but I would not call him small, cus he is pretty damn tall. But yes, I prefer my meals to come without floss.

    Reply

  38. I can’t possibly guess. I’m already woozy just thinking about you taking a picture of your ball sack. I don’t think my poor delicate tummy could handle actually trying to figure out which one is which! :puke:

    Reply

  39. Miss Britt says:

    Huh, I always assumed it was way longer.

    Although, I’m clearly the first Loyal Sidekick.

    Reply

  40. Karl says:

    How in the bloody hell have I not added you to my feedreader before this? More importantly, why am I thinking this is a brilliant idea and I wish I’d done it first? Does that make me sick or just welcome?

    Reply

  41. Avitable says:

    BPR, he’s like a tiny naked monkey.

    Crazy Lady, do you want to take the picture next time?

    Britt, I know you are, babe.

    Karl, you’re very welcome. We need more sick, twisted minds here.

    Reply

  42. DutchBitch says:

    Shoulder [6] (Schouder)
    Knee [1] (Knie)
    Testicle [4] (Testikel)
    Buttcheek [7] (Kont)
    Foot [2] (Voet)
    Stomach [3] (Buik)
    Chest [5] (Borst)

    And yes, that’s free tongue breaking Dutch lessons in between the ()… to pay you back for the temporary involuntary blindness I experienced after looking at my feed reader an hour ago… :boobs2:

    Reply

  43. Avitable says:

    DB, how do you say “Will you lick my testicle?” in Dutch?

    BPR, hahaha. I know – you just like men who will blow away if the wind gets too strong. It’s how you stay in charge!

    Reply

  44. DutchBitch says:

    Depends… The submissive way of asking or the dominant way?

    Reply

  45. Shelli
    Twitter:
    says:

    I can’t do this one. I don’t know you well enough to look at your testicle. Yet.

    Reply

  46. Avitable says:

    Dutchbitch, the submissive way. It’s the only way of asking someone to lick your balls, in my opinion.

    Shelli, sure you do!

    Reply

  47. MyWeeWorld says:

    What amazes me is that I was able to continue eating my Froot Loops while looking at your pics – tho I am rolled up in the fetal position on my kitchen floor with the box by my face.

    Reply

  48. I bet they are all either your testicles or your butt.

    Dear god. Now I have to wash my eyes out with bleach. Thanks.

    Reply

  49. Amy says:

    I couldn’t begin to pretend to “guess” after you showed this to me last night and gave me the answer key. :angel:

    Reply

  50. Avitable says:

    MyWeeWorld, you’re lucky you weren’t eating Hairy Flesh Chunk cereal instead.

    TMP, they’re not – they’re actually the items I listed!

    Amy, did I? I forget.

    Reply

  51. I have a coarse hair caught in my throat just from looking at the photos.

    Reply

  52. Bec says:

    I always get these things wrong but…

    1. Knee
    2. Foot
    3. Butt Check
    4. Testicle
    5. Chest
    6. Shoulder
    7. Stomach

    Reply

  53. Avitable says:

    Deb, was it short and curly?

    Bec, you always get these things wrong? Do you guess naked body parts frequently?

    Reply

  54. Kylah says:

    Okay, I’m going to give this a try:

    1. Knee
    2. Foot
    3. Butt cheek
    4. Testicle
    5. Chest
    6. Shoulder
    7. Stomach

    I’m disturbed by this, and I’m even more disturbed that I’m involved in this. You should be ecstatic you just exposed yourself to an underage girl.

    Reply

  55. Avitable says:

    Kylah, I’m touching myself and giggling as we speak.

    Reply

  56. NYCWD
    Twitter:
    says:

    Dude… that is the smoothest testicle skin I have ever seen.

    What’s your secret? :cock:

    Reply

  57. Sybil Law says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    Man.
    Also, your response to Kylah and saying you’re giggling and touching yourself – damn – that is good stuff.
    I seriously can’t tell what those pics are. I see a foot, but that’s it. How does your testicular skin look the same as the rest? Oh wait – I think I found it.
    I am clearly overthinking this!
    Shit.
    I will probably end up doing it.
    :)

    Reply

  58. Avitable says:

    NYCWD, exfoliation. With steel wool.

    Sybil, yeah, I think you’re definitely overthinking it.

    Reply

  59. Stephanie says:

    I think they are all pictures of your ass.

    Could someone please hand me a stick to poke my eyes out?

    I’ll be seeing hairy things in my dreams.

    :poke:

    Reply

  60. OK, took me dang long enough to get here – long story, long day.

    Anyhoo, I love you, hon, but there’s nooooooo way I’m looking at those pictures long enough to determine which body part is which.

    Sorry.

    Reply

  61. Avitable says:

    Stephanie, hairy things in your dreams – sounds like a wet dream to me!

    CMG, want me to re-enact it on webcam for you?

    Reply

  62. Kylah says:

    Well, at least one of us could get something good out of this situation. I think all I got were some emotional scars.

    Reply

  63. DutchBitch says:

    True true, as a dominator you would more like tell them…

    So here goes: “Wil je alsjeblieft mijn ballen likken?”

    There you go! :thumbsup:

    Reply

  64. Alright you grubbing putz. Your present is on the way, and you should get it Friday.

    Just remember me for my birthday. Tit for tat.

    :-)

    Reply

  65. Poppy says:

    Abs, he gives good presents. I get to write all over my chest whenever I use his birthday present to me. I love writing all over my chest.

    Reply

  66. Kellie says:

    I’m bliiiiind! I’m bliiiiind!

    I am not even going to attempt to guess. I’m too scared.

    Reply

  67. Avitable says:

    Kylah, as long as Child Protective Services can’t see them, I’m okay with that.

    DB, Wil je alsjeblieft mijn ballen likken?

    Absurdist, when’s your birthday again? I don’t want to forget. And what’s this about tits?

    Poppy, I am surprised you haven’t done a series of photos with you writing different things on your chest.

    Kellie, try it, you might find yourself falling for the dark, hairy side.

    Reply

  68. DutchBitch says:

    Je ballen likken? Ik? Alleen als je alle haren er af scheert! Dan wil ik er misschien over nadenken… Heel misschien…

    Reply

  69. Lynda says:

    I think they are all either your arse or your elbow.

    Reply

  70. Poppy says:

    I’m sure you are.

    NO. CHANCE.

    Gladly have a series of shirt photos. Not chest photos. Need more shirts.

    Reply

  71. Avitable says:

    Lynda, who says arse anymore?

    Poppy, that’s what I meant – a series of photos of you writing different things on the chest of your shirt!

    Reply

  72. BOSSY says:

    Oh. No. You. Didn’t. But you did. And it was hairy.

    Reply

  73. Poppy says:

    (how about not on my chest? as in, I’m wearing a completely different shirt, and the shirt with writing is on… like, a stuffed animal or one of the cats? so I can stay virtuous and pure and stuff.)

    Reply

  74. *pixie* says:

    Is it wrong that I scrolled through all the comments to see if you told us the correct answers?

    Reply

  75. Mrs RW says:

    Ewww…when I finally meet you in September I don’t want those images to confront my consciousness!

    Reply

  76. Avitable says:

    Poppy, yeah, that’s what I thought.

    Pixie, did you masturbate to the pictures, too? If yes, then, yes.

    Mrs. RW, well, I’ll be naked then, so you’ll be able to see new images!

    Reply

  77. Lynda says:

    No one but the website where I found that game.

    Reply

  78. Carla says:

    1 Knee
    2 Foot
    3 Stomach
    4 Testicles
    5 Chest
    6 Shoulder
    7 Butt

    I think we have a winner! I hate to say this, but this was actually fun. Does that make me a twisted fuck or what? (Jen adds that, “No, it really wasn’t fun.”)

    Okay love you bye!

    Reply

  79. hellohahanarf says:

    take a week and go to vegas for a trade show and see what i miss??!?! damn!

    i say you post more photos of your balls.

    oh, your birthday present will be late (obviously). i’m gonna buy it in mexico next week. be patient, k?

    Reply

  80. Avitable says:

    Carla, so close. How do you not know what my butt looks like?

    Hello, I’m still waiting for boob pics.

    Reply

  81. hellohahanarf says:

    won’t your wife mind if the internet sends you photos of their boobs? coz i have them. and i am not afraid to share…

    Reply

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