AvitaWeek 2008: Hair of the gorilla that bit you
It's Day 2 of AvitaWeek 2008, counting down to my 31st birthday. As always, you are encouraged to send me cards and prezzies, as those crazy Brits call them. You can even see what I like on my wishlists!
When I was trying to come up with ideas for this week, I knew that I'd have to make it more about me than usual. Since I'm an egotistical fuck, this is more difficult than it seems. I came to realize that there is very little about myself that hasn't made it on this blog in some form or another, and that the only way to make this week different from others was to get more in-depth with Avitable. More familiar. More intimate. And clearly, there was only one solution.
So, without further ado, I present:
Guess the Body Part!
Can you match the picture with the body part? You can click for a larger version (although I don't know why you'd ever want these images to be larger on your computer screen). The body parts are:
1. Shoulder
2. Knee
3. Testicle
4. Butt cheek
5. Foot
6. Stomach
7. Chest
Leave your guesses in the comments. I don't think I'm going to give out a prize for this one, though. Because just by reading this post, we're all winners. Or is it losers?
And, while you're at it, head over to Amy at Amy's Musings to answer a plea she has for gift ideas for my birthday.
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1. Chin
2. Eyelid
3. Elbow
4. Tongue
5. Forehead
6. That bald spot on the back of your head
7. Taint
YAY! I win!!!
Send me prizes!!!
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2 & 4 scare me
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Ooooh, that was fun!
1. Chest
2. Foot
3. knee
4. testicle
5. butt cheek
6. Knee
7. Stomach
Although I'm concerned that I'm not sure 4 and 6 are round the right way because then when you get old and your testicles hang near your knees there's going to be no telling the difference…
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NO. NONONONO
I refuse to do this!
And, shave your testicles for Fucks sake!
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1. Butt cheek
2. Testicle
3. Testicle
4. Butt cheek
5. Butt cheek
6. Testicle
7. Butt cheek
I just think you really like taking close up pictures of those parts of your body.
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What?!! How would I know what your ass and testicles look like? What the fuck did Britt say?!! I don't know nuttin, In fact I have never seen those things on you… I mean if I had it would only be because they were like.. you know… THERE… someplace where they didn't belong and I thought, "Wow that's fuckin weird I can see Avitable's ass and balls and…" but I would have only seen them and noticed because it was out of the norm, not because I wanted to know what they looked like so I could identify them in a picture line up. I mean… you know… not like staring
Oh yeah… no wonder Britt bitches about her job. I can't believe you made her take all those pics with her new camera. OH and I have no idea what #2 but I can see a face dude! It's like some mutant out of Total Recall!
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I am too disturbed to attempt to guess. Oh, I will check back to see the answers.
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It's a trick question. They're all the inside of your nose.
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I'm frightened by the length of time I spent staring at these photos and then examining my OWN anatomy to figure it out.
1 butt cheek
2 foot
3 chest
4 testicle
5 knee
6 shoulder
7 stomach
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1. Knee
2. Foot
3. Chest
4. Testicle
5. Shoulder
6. Stomach
7. Tush
If I'm even close, I'm gonna seriously worry about myself.
:banghead:
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Um…they're ALL covered in hair. :cock:
I'm afraid to guess.
J.
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Excess hair frightens me.
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Britt, no fair – you were the photographer.
Amanda, I think you meant "turn me on".
Dee, you mean I'm not supposed to be able to spin my balls like a lasso?
BPR, oh yeah – you like small hairless men.
Jay, how'd you guess?
Y2K, this is one of the perks of the job.
Karen, disturbed is good. It means you're normal.
Wayne, yeah, but which nostril?
Jester, you spend hours examining your own anatomy anyways – who are you kidding?
Robin, tell you what. If you win, I'll send you all of the original pictures.
HG, I am ALL covered in hair, from head to toe.
Robin, you'll miss out on gorilla love that way!
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Hmm…I've seen your testicles before but I'm still not sure of these photos! I'll try anyway..
1 Knee
2 foot
3 stomach
4 chest
5 testicle
6 shoulder
7 butt
Did I do good?? :cock:
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Dear God, haven't we seen enough of your ball sack?
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I love the Avitaweek image at the top.
I'm not playing this game since I'd totally win and I hate to win.
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I'm with Robin on the hair comment – ugh!
I'm not even going to try to guess. lol
Happy Birthday!
No, I'm not waiting 3 days – I'm saying it everyday this week, ok? Good!
So :sex023:
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Wow, and I thought you were kidding on Twitter
. I'm awful at guessing but I'd just like to register another complaint about someone being younger than I am…geez. 
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OMG…you need a wax job!! I can't even begin to play along. It is just too frightening.
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Metalmom, those are some interesting guesses. Stay tuned.
Mr. Fabulous, I don't know the meaning of the word enough.
Poppy, well, you do own a copy of Avitable Gone Wild: the XXX edition, so you're probably right.
Cheri, all that hair keeps me warm. I don't shed, I promise. And I'm okay with you saying it every day of the week.
Hilly, I never kid.
Trish, an all over body wax job might make me go into shock.
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How's about you come over for a full body wax? After we do me, we can do you.
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It's official – you are the biggest blog whore ever!
Happy Birthday you ho!
ROFLMAO!
:sexytime:
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NO.
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The108, nobody around here will wax most parts of men. They'll only do women.
Karen, as long as it's official!
RW, this is what I resort too when you abandon us in the blogosphere. I blame you.
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:lmao: I still love this idea.
:sexytime:
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OMG, #1 is SO EASY and everyone's being redonk.
Ok, it's not my fault that I was sent a copy FOR FREE before Britt came along and straightened you out on the whole for-profit thing.
Want it back?
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(and by came along I meant moving to FL. I DID NOT PRE-DATE BRITT. Oops.)
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Not registering guesses but I am pretty sure that 4 is you knee and like, 7? is maybe your stomach?
When, exactly, is your birthday? Mine is tomorrow. Be nice to me. (Tomorrow).
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Poppy, I think you actually did Pre-Date me. I'm pretty sure you've known Adam wayyy longer than me.
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I'd do it in a second. It might hurt but it could still be fun.
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I think this is a trick quiz, because I'm pretty sure #4 is your vagina.
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Britt, really?! For reals?! I just assumed he's known you longer. Um, Adam? You probably know the answer to this one… Are you done getting your neck sliced yet? Hurry the eff up.
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my only guess is for #1—butt cheek
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SIGH.!!!!.
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BLIND! I'M BLIND! GAAARRR!
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nope. We compared notes- he's known you longest
So… Dish. Which part is which?
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That surprises the hell outta me.
The flattest thing in the pile is his ass. The end.
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uhm. ewww.
That is all.
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I may never forgive Nina for sending me to this post.
But Happy Birthday!
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Why does that surprise you?
I've only known Adam for like slightly over a year. I remember because last year for my birthday he bought me a DVD player and I was all "who the fuck is this crazy bastard?!!"
At least, that's how I remember it.
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You told Cheri that you don't shed. If that's the case, as long as you stay off the furniture and are housebroken, you can visit me sometime.
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for whatever reason, during my first pass of this post, i didn't see the word "testicle". i could have blocked it out. after reading the comments, however, i cannot blot the truth out. your testicle is there, in photographic form. and i'm supposed to guess? since you're forcing me, 2. nobody else has said it and anyway, i'm psychic wrt testicles.
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Amy, where are your guesses?
Poppy, nah – we sold the licensing to some Korean porn company.
Nina, you should just make that picture your desktop wallpaper on your computer. For posterity. Your birthday is tomorrow? Happy birthday – how old are you?
Britt, I haven't been blogging long enough for it to be wayyy longer.
108, you're on. I'll be at your house tomorrow. Do you do balls and taints too?
Jeff, shhhh, don't ruin the surprise!
Crystal, that's it? Are you afraid of guessing wrongly?
Tracy, oh, I'll show you the originals if you want to be blind.
Poppy, I have a curvaceous ass!
Peggy, hirsute not your thing?
Maggie, thanks for the visit and comment!
Britt, I got my first comment from Poppy on 3/21/06 and from you on 7/6/06. Not that long.
Metalmom, I do hump things, though.
Crystal, you're a ball psychic?
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He might be skinny, but I would not call him small, cus he is pretty damn tall. But yes, I prefer my meals to come without floss.
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I can’t possibly guess. I’m already woozy just thinking about you taking a picture of your ball sack. I don’t think my poor delicate tummy could handle actually trying to figure out which one is which! :puke:
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Huh, I always assumed it was way longer.
Although, I'm clearly the first Loyal Sidekick.
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How in the bloody hell have I not added you to my feedreader before this? More importantly, why am I thinking this is a brilliant idea and I wish I'd done it first? Does that make me sick or just welcome?
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BPR, he's like a tiny naked monkey.
Crazy Lady, do you want to take the picture next time?
Britt, I know you are, babe.
Karl, you're very welcome. We need more sick, twisted minds here.
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Shoulder [6] (Schouder)
Knee [1] (Knie)
Testicle [4] (Testikel)
Buttcheek [7] (Kont)
Foot [2] (Voet)
Stomach [3] (Buik)
Chest [5] (Borst)
And yes, that's free tongue breaking Dutch lessons in between the ()… to pay you back for the temporary involuntary blindness I experienced after looking at my feed reader an hour ago… :boobs2:
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:deadhorse:
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DB, how do you say "Will you lick my testicle?" in Dutch?
BPR, hahaha. I know – you just like men who will blow away if the wind gets too strong. It's how you stay in charge!
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Depends… The submissive way of asking or the dominant way?
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I can't do this one. I don't know you well enough to look at your testicle. Yet.
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Dutchbitch, the submissive way. It's the only way of asking someone to lick your balls, in my opinion.
Shelli, sure you do!
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What amazes me is that I was able to continue eating my Froot Loops while looking at your pics – tho I am rolled up in the fetal position on my kitchen floor with the box by my face.
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I bet they are all either your testicles or your butt.
Dear god. Now I have to wash my eyes out with bleach. Thanks.
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I couldn't begin to pretend to "guess" after you showed this to me last night and gave me the answer key. :angel:
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MyWeeWorld, you're lucky you weren't eating Hairy Flesh Chunk cereal instead.
TMP, they're not – they're actually the items I listed!
Amy, did I? I forget.
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I have a coarse hair caught in my throat just from looking at the photos.
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I always get these things wrong but…
1. Knee
2. Foot
3. Butt Check
4. Testicle
5. Chest
6. Shoulder
7. Stomach
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Deb, was it short and curly?
Bec, you always get these things wrong? Do you guess naked body parts frequently?
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Okay, I'm going to give this a try:
1. Knee
2. Foot
3. Butt cheek
4. Testicle
5. Chest
6. Shoulder
7. Stomach
I'm disturbed by this, and I'm even more disturbed that I'm involved in this. You should be ecstatic you just exposed yourself to an underage girl.
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Kylah, I'm touching myself and giggling as we speak.
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Dude… that is the smoothest testicle skin I have ever seen.
What's your secret? :cock:
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Man.
Also, your response to Kylah and saying you're giggling and touching yourself – damn – that is good stuff.
I seriously can't tell what those pics are. I see a foot, but that's it. How does your testicular skin look the same as the rest? Oh wait – I think I found it.
I am clearly overthinking this!
Shit.
I will probably end up doing it.
:)
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NYCWD, exfoliation. With steel wool.
Sybil, yeah, I think you're definitely overthinking it.
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I think they are all pictures of your ass.
Could someone please hand me a stick to poke my eyes out?
I'll be seeing hairy things in my dreams.
:poke:
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OK, took me dang long enough to get here – long story, long day.
Anyhoo, I love you, hon, but there's nooooooo way I'm looking at those pictures long enough to determine which body part is which.
Sorry.
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Stephanie, hairy things in your dreams – sounds like a wet dream to me!
CMG, want me to re-enact it on webcam for you?
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Well, at least one of us could get something good out of this situation. I think all I got were some emotional scars.
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True true, as a dominator you would more like tell them…
So here goes: "Wil je alsjeblieft mijn ballen likken?"
There you go! :thumbsup:
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Alright you grubbing putz. Your present is on the way, and you should get it Friday.
Just remember me for my birthday. Tit for tat.
:-)
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Abs, he gives good presents. I get to write all over my chest whenever I use his birthday present to me. I love writing all over my chest.
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I'm bliiiiind! I'm bliiiiind!
I am not even going to attempt to guess. I'm too scared.
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Kylah, as long as Child Protective Services can't see them, I'm okay with that.
DB, Wil je alsjeblieft mijn ballen likken?
Absurdist, when's your birthday again? I don't want to forget. And what's this about tits?
Poppy, I am surprised you haven't done a series of photos with you writing different things on your chest.
Kellie, try it, you might find yourself falling for the dark, hairy side.
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Je ballen likken? Ik? Alleen als je alle haren er af scheert! Dan wil ik er misschien over nadenken… Heel misschien…
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DB, I'll take that as a yes.
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I think they are all either your arse or your elbow.
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I'm sure you are.
NO. CHANCE.
Gladly have a series of shirt photos. Not chest photos. Need more shirts.
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Lynda, who says arse anymore?
Poppy, that's what I meant – a series of photos of you writing different things on the chest of your shirt!
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Oh. No. You. Didn't. But you did. And it was hairy.
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mebbe.
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(how about not on my chest? as in, I'm wearing a completely different shirt, and the shirt with writing is on… like, a stuffed animal or one of the cats? so I can stay virtuous and pure and stuff.)
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Bossy, oh yes. I did.
Poppy, virtuous. Ha!
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:batting:
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Is it wrong that I scrolled through all the comments to see if you told us the correct answers?
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Ewww…when I finally meet you in September I don't want those images to confront my consciousness!
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Poppy, yeah, that's what I thought.
Pixie, did you masturbate to the pictures, too? If yes, then, yes.
Mrs. RW, well, I'll be naked then, so you'll be able to see new images!
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No one but the website where I found that game.
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Lynda, arse is more fun than ass to say.
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1 Knee
2 Foot
3 Stomach
4 Testicles
5 Chest
6 Shoulder
7 Butt
I think we have a winner! I hate to say this, but this was actually fun. Does that make me a twisted fuck or what? (Jen adds that, "No, it really wasn't fun.")
Okay love you bye!
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take a week and go to vegas for a trade show and see what i miss??!?! damn!
i say you post more photos of your balls.
oh, your birthday present will be late (obviously). i'm gonna buy it in mexico next week. be patient, k?
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Carla, so close. How do you not know what my butt looks like?
Hello, I'm still waiting for boob pics.
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won't your wife mind if the internet sends you photos of their boobs? coz i have them. and i am not afraid to share…
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