Because a certain fucker hasn't sent me the pictures that she took, I don't have the pictures I wanted to post as part of a recap. Tomorrow I should have an actual birthday recap with photos and thanks and everything going out to all of the awesome people out there. Since my plans for today's post have been scrapped, I'm just going to share the card I scanned that I received from Sybil Law, where she actually recreated my own artwork and handmade a card!
The top part is the front of the card. The bottom part is what was on the back of the envelope. Isn't that awesome?
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It's not a party without an underage hooker!
Comments by Amanda
Even if you do not have the pictures to prove it (yet) I am sure you had a great birthday!
Comments by bluepaintred
That's a very cool card.
And thank God nobody forgot the underage hooker!
Comments by Jay
What a lovely card!!
I can't wait to see the pictures!
Comments by Sarcastica
When do we get a cartoon hauling you off to prison for the underage hooker?
Comments by Dave2
That's a pretty cool card.
Of course in England a "hooker" is also a word for a burly rugby player. Just saying, thats all.
Comments by Dan
I so want to fuck the ass of that underage hooker...
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
What a great card! She even kept the cat...what no sperm in your tummy?
Comments by Trishk
This card deserves it's very own post! I did you a favor, fucker.
Comments by Miss Britt
That card is awesome. Happy Birthday....AGAIN.
Comments by Karen Sugarpants
That card isn't half bad.
It's all bad.
(this insult doesn't directly apply to the card, but it was so cool I had to use it somewhere, and it might as well be in my comment.)
Comments by Wayne
Awwww, adorable!!! I'm 76% thankful you didn't get your pictures yet so that you would draw for us.
Comments by Poppy
That is really cool, I love creative cards.
Comments by Robin
Sybil Law rocks with creativity!!
Comments by metalmom
Dude, I am so depressed that I didn't get to see your 12" dick since you had an underage hooker sucking on it.
Your drawings, however, are getting much better.
Comments by Absurdist
...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha. ha. ahem.
Comments by Poppy
(Why do girls want a 12" dick? You're not 12" deep, for crissakes!)
Comments by Poppy
That's true. The rule of thumb, actually, is if you can't put your dick in a toilet paper cardboard thingy, you're good to go, since girth is much more important than length.
And, actually, I have never met a guy (okay, slept with a guy) that had a dick longer than say, 6", which really is sufficient.
Comments by Absurdist
Good God.
Am I the only here who wants to be able to WALK the next day??
Comments by Miss Britt
@Abs: I have something dirty to say but I'll keep it to myself.
@Britt: Yes, sweetie, you are the only one.
Comments by Poppy
@Poppy: Seriously? But don't y'all have shit to DO the next day?? I can't be all bruised and battered and bed ridden just for some sex - who else is going to take care of the grocery shopping?!?
Comments by Miss Britt
go, sybil law! great work. poor avi got nuttin from me. yet!
(p.s. to britt...it depends on whether i wanna walk the next day after one night or after the rest of my life. did that make sense?)
Comments by hellohahanarf
@Britt: What can I say?
Comments by Poppy
Britt: If you can pop out a watermelon from your uterus, you can handle a 12 incher.
Comments by Absurdist
a) Babies are smaller than Watermelons.
b) Do you know how much STRETCHING has to be done for that to happen?!?!
c) Do you know how fucking LONG it takes for all that stretching to happen?!?!
d) Do you know that IT GOES BACK AFTERWARDS. Said stretching is not permanent.
Thank you, Kegels.
Comments by Miss Britt
You should totally frame that card. Put it on your desk that way you can feel as if you are being Happy Birthday'd every day of the week/year.
I would totally do that if I had received a card like that... instead, I have a living, breathing, lavender plant that I have named Adam, because I love it.
Comments by Amy
Love it! ha ha
Comments by Preposterous Ponderings
Britt:
Is a 12" dick bigger than a baby? I wouldn't know... I haven't had a baby...Except my two husbands... But I didn't have to pop them out. They were kinda small.
Comments by Absurdist
Well, yes, typically a baby is bigger than 12 inches.
But your body is also... um... "open" differently in child birth. I don't have to dilate my cervix to have sex! (Thank God)
I'm not saying I'm a proponent of the ittsy bittsy teeny weanie... but good Lord! Isn't it supposed to be COMFORTABLE?
Comments by Miss Britt
Don't get me wrong. I could no more handle a 12 incher than having a baby.
I can barely handle six inches. :-)
Comments by Absurdist
Whoops. Forgot to mention.
I just didn't want you guys to think I was all blown out or something.
Comments by Absurdist
Oh YAY I am so glad you like it!!! Since I am poor and can't afford to send many pints of ice cream right now. :(
Comments by Sybil Law
Hilarious and creative card... sure beats the hell out of mine... the one I've had since Wednesday but I'm such a tard that I didn't get it in the mail 'til Saturday night! Yikes... anyway, it's the thought that counts!!! Hope it was a wonderful birthday : )
Comments by cat
Cockslapping monkeyfucker. My mom is howling with laughter. Mee too.
Sybil's card rawks!
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
Amanda, I know. The fun only begins when the 16-year old naked chick shows up.
BPR, it really was excellent.
Jay, I know, right?
Sarcastica, why are you so excited? There are none of my penis. Calm down.
Dave, don't you think I have a plan for that? I'll just blame the dog.
Dan, I'll take anything underaged I can get.
Mr. Fabulous, I see how it is. Won't fuck my ass, but some little tramp comes up in here . . .
TrishK, Fab wasn't around.
Britt, thanks for the favor, dogfucker.
Karen, thanks! You can never say it enough times for me!
Wayne, that was a cool insult. In 1942.
Poppy, I didn't draw that.
Robin, it was very creative.
Metalmom, she did an amazing job!
Absurdist, that wasn't my drawing.
Hello, I'm sorry you missed all of the festivities all week long!
Amy, does the cat pee on Adam?
Preposterous, me too!
Sybil, it was a perfect card. Thank you so much!
Cat, that's okay. Late is always better than never.
Heather, that was a phrase I came up with a few months ago. It's effective in many situations.
Comments by Avitable
I thought you were into midget hookers, Avi? Or is that only when you're driving and eating steak?
Comments by Stephanie
Stephanie, midget hookers are for when I'm slumming it.
Comments by Avitable
That cookie in your tummy looks a lot like a baby.
Comments by B
Mmmm... so where's the cocaine???
Or is that what this was etched in...
Comments by NYCWD
Beth, it's a baby cookie.
NYCWD, I'm so confused.
Comments by Avitable
Wow. I can read. I just apparently choose not to. Isn't life more fun when I don't read?
Comments by Poppy
Poppy, yes, unless it's a "Do Not Enter" sign that you're not reading.
Comments by Avitable
Guess that depends what the sign is for. ;)
Comments by Poppy