I’m a thief

I stole this idea from Dan. Unabashedly.

He took a movie synopsis and ran it through Google’s translation tool to a foreign language and then ran it back to English and wanted to see if people could guess the correct movie.

I’m doing something similar, but just using the AOLer Translator.

So, here are the snyopses of five movies in AOL speak. Can you guess them all?

1. XXXXXX FOLOWS FIEV NU YORKERS FROM TEH PERSPECTIEV OF HAND H3LD VIEDO CMARA!!11!! OMG LOL TEH MOVEI SI 3XACTLEY DA LENGTH OF A DV TAEP AND A SUB-PLOT SI ASTABLISHED BY SHOWNG BITS AND PEICES OF VIEDO PR3VIOSLEY RECORDAD ON TEH TAEP TAHT SI BNG RECORD3D OV3R!!!!! LOL TEH MOVEI STARTS AS A MONST3R OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN DASTROYS A BUILDNG!1!11!111 OMG AS THEY GO 2 INVASTIGAET PARTS OF TEH BUILDNG AND DA H3AD OF TEH STATU3 OF LIEBRTY COM3 RANENG DOWN!!111 OMG WTF TEH MOVEI FOLOWS THEYRE ADVANTURA TRYNG 2 3SCAEP AND SAEV A FREIND A LUV INTARAST OF TEH MANE CHARACTER!11!1! WTF LOL

2. WHEN DA SPAEC SHUTLE SI DASTROY3D IN OUTER SPAEC ASTRONOM3RS AT NASA DISCOV3R TAHT A M3TAOR SHOWER SI PALTNG AWAY AT EARTH AND TAHT A HUG3 ASTAROID CAPABLA OF DESTROYNG TEH PLAENT SI HEAEDD FOR A DIERCT HIT WIT DA PLAENT!11!!!1 WIT AL OPTIONS 2 FANTASTIC 2 IMPL3MENT BFORE COLISION NASA D3CIEDS 2 R3CRUIT TEH WORLDS BST OIL DRIL3RS 2 LAND ON TEH AST3ROID DRIL A HOLE DROP A NUCLEAR BOMB IN2 TEH HOL3 TH3N TAEK OF AND RAMOTELEY DE2NAET TEH BOMB!!!1!!!!! WTF LOL FOR DA DRIL TEM THAY SAL3CT HARY STMPER AND HIS CRAW TAHT INCLUDES 2UGH GUY-SOFTEI BAR BRILIANT SMART-AS ROKHOUND AJ!1!1!1 DA OVEREAEGR FIANCE OF HIS INDEP3NDENT DAUGHT3R AND SPACY OSCAR !1!!11!11 OMG WTF LOL ITS A RAEC AGANEST TIEM 2 G3T TEH DRIL3RS TRANEED LAND THAM ON TEH ASTEROID AND GAT DA HOL3 DRILED BFORE EARTH SI DESTROYED!11!! OMG LOL!!!!11 OMG WTF

3. SOMETIEM IN DA FUTURA TEH POLAR IEC CAPS HAEV MALT3D AND DA WORLDS OC3ANS AND SAAS HAEV COVERED DA LAND!!!11!11 WTF P3OPLA R FEW AND FAR BTWEN LIVNG IN SMAL COMUNITEIS AT SEA OR SALENG FROM ONE 2 ANOTHAR AS TRAEDRS!!!!11 OMG WTF LOL AL TEH P3OPLE SEK DRY LAND.!!!1111!11 OMG WTF LOL SOMATHNG NOBODY HAS SEN!111! OMG LOL

4. DA S2RY BGINS AS DON DA HAAD OF A NU YORK MAFIA FMILEY OVERSES HIS DAUGHTARS WEDNG!!!111 LOL HIS BLOVED SON MICHAAL HAS JUST COM3 HOMA FROM TEH WAR BUT DOAS NOT INTEND 2 BCOMA PART OF HIS FATHERS BUSIENS!111!!11! WTF LOL THROUGH MICHA3LS LIEF TEH NATUR3 OF TEH FMILEY BUSIENS BCOMES CL3AR!!11!11 WTF LOL TEH BUSIENS OF DA FMILEY SI JUST LIEK TEH HEAD OF TEH FMILEY KIND AND BNEVOLANT 2 THOSA WHO GIEV RESP3CT BUT GIEVN 2 RUTHLAS VIOLENCE WHEN3VER ANYTHNG STANDS AGANEST TEH GOD OF DA FMILEY!11!!1 DON VI2 LIEVS HIS LIEF IN TEH WAY OF TEH OLD COUNTRY BUT TIEMS R CHANGNG AND SOME DONT WANT 2 FOLOW TEH OLD WAYS AND LOK OUT FOR COMUNITY AND FMILEY!!!!!!!1 LOL AN UP AND COMNG RIVAL OF TEH CORLAON3 FMILEY WANTS 2 START SELNG DRUGS IN NU YORK AND NEDS TEH DONS INFLU3NCE 2 FURTHER HIS PLAN!!!!11!! OMG WTF LOL TEH CLASH OF TEH DONS FADNG OLD WORLD VALUES AND TEH NU WAYS WIL DEMAND A TARIBLA PRIEC ESPACIALY FROM MICHAEL AL FOR DA SAEK OF TEH FMILEY

5. TEH YEAR SI 1985 AND MARTY SI UR 3VARYDAY TENAEGR 3XC3PT FOR ON3 PROBL3M!1!!1! OMG WTF H3 SI STUK IN 195!!1!11 AFTER HIS GOD FREIND SI GUN3D DOWN MARTY ENDS UP SANDNG HIS TIEM MACHIEN BAK THIRTY YEARS IN2 TEH PAST!111! NOW HA MUST FIND DOC BROWN AND CONVINCA HIM TAHT HA SI FROM TEH FUTURE IN ORD3R FOR TEH DOC 2 SAND HIM BAK 2 DA FUTURE BUT THES SI DA LEAST OF MARTYS PROBLEMS!111! OMG WTF AFTER ACIEDNTALY G3TNG IN TEH WAY OF TEH IMPORTANT METNG BTWEN HIS FUTURA MOTHER AND FATH3R MARTY MUST GET TH3M BAK 2G3THAR BFORA HE CHANGES TIEM FOREV3R AND DASTROYS HIS OWN EXIST3NC3!!!!!1! OMG WTF LOL

Enjoy this post? Try these:
OMGWTFBBQ!!!!1111
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46 Responses to I’m a thief

  1. Amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    1.Cloverfield
    2.Armageddon
    3. Waterworld?
    4. The Godfather
    5.Back to the Future

    Reply

  2. Kylah says:

    Sadly, I’m a part of that generation, so I know that this is:

    1. Cloverfield
    2. Armageddon
    3. Waterworld
    4. The Godfather
    5. Back to the Future

    This why I don’t talk to over half the people in my school. I swear kids today, I can’t stand most of them.

    Reply

  3. bluepaintred says:

    fuck. no point guessing if they already have it right.

    Dammit. I miss all the fun.

    Reply

  4. hellohahanarf says:

    fuck, my head hurts after reading those.
    don’t do that again!
    xoxo

    Reply

  5. Poppy says:

    What Empanada said. She is smaht. :P :heartbeat:

    Reply

  6. Poppy says:

    What Empanada said. She is smaht.

    Reply

  7. Tori says:

    yep… they got them I’m pretty sure

    Reply

  8. 1. The Princess Diaries
    2. Cinderella
    3. Legally Blonde
    4. Barbie’s Magical Kingdom
    5. Shrek the Third

    Reply

  9. Neil says:

    That is hilarious. I think Waterworld could have been a hit if they had advertised it that way.

    Reply

  10. Aunt Robin says:

    What do I win if I get it right?

    Reply

  11. kapgar
    Twitter:
    says:

    Clearly my desire to sleep real hours is ruining my chances at this game. So… what the first two commenters said.

    Reply

  12. Miss Britt says:

    I am disappointed how well I could read this.

    We should watch the Godfather today. Am I the only one who gets Godfather cravings?

    Reply

  13. NYCWD
    Twitter:
    says:

    1) CLOV3RFEILD
    2) ARMAEGDON
    3) W8RWORLD
    4) TEH GODFATH3R
    5) BAK 2 DA FUTURA
    HOWS TAHT FOR KNOWNG DA AOL SPAAK
    ??!!?!! OMG LOL

    Reply

  14. Angel says:

    Cloverfield, Armagedon, Water World, The Godfather and Back To The Future. Dawg stole my answers. (Although I had to ask my husband about one of them.)

    Reply

  15. Avitable says:

    Amanda, shit. Maybe next time I should run it through the AOLer and then translate it into Spanish, German, then English.

    Kylah, thank Jeebus you don’t talk like that.

    BPR, I figured it might take a little longer than the first 15 minutes the post is up.

    Hello, yeah, this might be too hard to read for those of you “older” folks.

    Poppy, empanada?

    Tori, yeah. Sigh.

    Karen, you got it! How’d you know?

    Neil, I know I would have been more interested in it.

    Aunt Robin, a picture of my testicles.

    Kapgar, I think I’m going to hear that all day long now.

    Britt, part II was on TV the other night. Such a great flick.

    NYCWD OMG WTF!!11!!

    Angel, which one did you have to ask him about?

    Reply

  16. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Holy mother of fuck, my head is on fire now and my eyes are bleeding.

    Reply

  17. 1. Cloverfield
    2. Armageddon
    3. Waterworld
    4. Godfather
    5. Back to the Future

    Man, fucked up.

    Reply

  18. Poppy says:

    I call Amanda Empanada with her consent. (I wrote her name as Amanada once and a new nickname was born from it.)

    Reply

  19. Poppy says:

    Empanada is what I call Amanda. I once wrote her name as “Amanada” by mistake once and a new nickname was born.

    Reply

  20. Poppy says:

    … once. once once. And… um, once.

    Reply

  21. Robin
    Twitter:
    says:

    1. Cloverfield

    2. Armaggedon

    3. The Day After Tomorrow

    4. The Godfather

    5. Back to the Future

    I rock~ :sexytime:

    Reply

  22. Avitable says:

    Mr. Fabulous, you’re too old to read this shit.

    Heather, OMG TOTALY11!!ONE

    Poppy, I shall call her Chimichanga from now on.

    Robin, you got #3 wrong!

    Reply

  23. Poppy says:

    Mmmmmmm, Chimichanga… I think she’ll like that, actually.

    Reply

  24. Robin
    Twitter:
    says:

    You’ve just crushed my dreams of going on a game show like this someday.

    Reply

  25. Grant says:

    I think Waterworld works better taking NetFlix’s description and Japanesing it via Altavista’s Babelfish translator:

    The planet of the terrestrial liquid which can do the polar cap ice in the world of the Futurism which dissolved, (Jeanne Tripplehorn) as for the beautiful hostess to rescue the sailor of the mutation body from the jail of the floating atoll, (cabin Costner). Those escape, fullness and Enola where she is young (Tina Majorino) and also with from that trimaran navigate separated. But the torio the menace pirate who directly desires tattooed map “dry area” in the back section of Enola (Dennis’s hopper) becomes the target.

    That’s right – fear Dennis’s hopper. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t want to know.

    Reply

  26. trishk says:

    Wow, even I got these and I am old!! :boobs3:

    Reply

  27. Well dayum.

    Next time I will have to NOT read everyone’s answers.

    Reply

  28. J. says:

    I’m always late to the party too … but I’m giggling at Karen.
    :lmao:

    Reply

  29. Y2K Survivor says:

    What is Cloverfield? Is is worth watching? Is there nudity?

    Reply

  30. 1. Don’t know
    2. Armageddon
    3. Waterworld
    4. The Godfather
    5. Back to the future.
    and I didn’t peek at others.

    Reply

  31. turnbaby says:

    LMAO @ Karen’s answers!!

    These were kind of easy actually because the mind tends to see what should be there.

    BTW–there’s an addendum to my post today;-)

    Reply

  32. Dan says:

    They say imitation is the best form of flattery. Then again they said I wouldn’t be able to eat my own weight in marshmallows too, so what the hell do they know.

    Reply

  33. Amy says:

    I am confused. When did you decide to start doing posts in anything other than English?

    Reply

  34. Amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    I love Mexican food!

    Reply

  35. Stephanie says:

    can’t read.
    sick.
    dying.
    mucous and phlegm filled head won’t compute this crap.

    send soup/drugs/Malibu Rum.

    Seacrest out. :crying:

    Reply

  36. Cheri says:

    Cloverfield (easy one)
    Armegeddon (can’t spell)
    Waterworld (maybe)
    No idea (none)
    Back to the Future (aww the memories)

    Reply

  37. Shelli
    Twitter:
    says:

    Damn. You will have to warn me when you do one of these again so that I can sit and hit refresh at midnight so that I can answer first. I got them all.

    Reply

  38. Sybil Law says:

    I am seriously scared that I could understand that shiite.
    And Britt – you are not the only one who gets the Godfather cravings!!!
    OMG WTF LOL!

    Reply

  39. Clown says:

    You of all people could have picked at least a few challenging movies.
    The Japanese translator is fun while the AOL version is just annoying.

    I hate this post.
    I most certainly do NOT want to stick my balls in it.

    Reply

  40. BOSSY says:

    Teh furst won is ckkdkdpreprkfk dkdpor0r dkdoro.

    Reply

  41. cloverfield
    Armageddon
    Waterworld (very sure)
    The Godfather
    Back to the Future!!!

    So when can I expect my prize???

    Reply

  42. Amanda says:

    kay numb3r 1 1s cl()v3rf13ld … 1 st()pp3d w1t d4 r3st cuz 1t hurt my 3y3s

    Reply

  43. I think I might do this but with Jive. The Dialectizer does Jive translations mighty fine.

    I’ll have to find a way to make it uniquely Waynerized so I don’t get charged with Grand Theft Bloggo.

    Reply

  44. Avitable says:

    Poppy, as long as she’s okay with me putting “sour cream” on her.

    Robin, that’s probably best that you hear it now.

    Grant, ooh, nice one.

    TrishK, I know! Do you have a Betamax player?

    TMP, next time I’ll make it harder.

    J, yeah, she got them all right, too!

    Y2K, it’s worth watching for some people. Might be a little too “in your face” for you.

    Absurdist, #1 is Cloverfield.

    Turnbaby, yeah – next time I’ll just make the details harder.

    Dan, but can you eat my weight in marshmallows?

    Amy, OMG LIEK UR A N00B!!!ONELOL

    Amanda, but do you love being called Mexican food?

    Stephanie, I know how you feel – I’m the same way. Dammit – you got me sick!

    Cheri, you didn’t know The Godfather?

    Shelli, suuuuure you did.

    Sybil, ROTFLMAO.

    Clown, how about dipping your balls in it?

    Bossy, you are TEH WINNARZ!!!

    Boy Blunder, it’s in the mail.

    Wayne, I’ll let you slide this time. Since I stole it, too.

    Reply

  45. kapgar
    Twitter:
    says:

    Jesus, that reads like the comments from the asshat kids on my Green Day hating post.

    Reply

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