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I’m a thief

I stole this idea from Dan. Unabashedly.

He took a movie synopsis and ran it through Google’s translation tool to a foreign language and then ran it back to English and wanted to see if people could guess the correct movie.

I’m doing something similar, but just using the AOLer Translator.

So, here are the snyopses of five movies in AOL speak. Can you guess them all?

1. XXXXXX FOLOWS FIEV NU YORKERS FROM TEH PERSPECTIEV OF HAND H3LD VIEDO CMARA!!11!! OMG LOL TEH MOVEI SI 3XACTLEY DA LENGTH OF A DV TAEP AND A SUB-PLOT SI ASTABLISHED BY SHOWNG BITS AND PEICES OF VIEDO PR3VIOSLEY RECORDAD ON TEH TAEP TAHT SI BNG RECORD3D OV3R!!!!! LOL TEH MOVEI STARTS AS A MONST3R OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN DASTROYS A BUILDNG!1!11!111 OMG AS THEY GO 2 INVASTIGAET PARTS OF TEH BUILDNG AND DA H3AD OF TEH STATU3 OF LIEBRTY COM3 RANENG DOWN!!111 OMG WTF TEH MOVEI FOLOWS THEYRE ADVANTURA TRYNG 2 3SCAEP AND SAEV A FREIND A LUV INTARAST OF TEH MANE CHARACTER!11!1! WTF LOL

2. WHEN DA SPAEC SHUTLE SI DASTROY3D IN OUTER SPAEC ASTRONOM3RS AT NASA DISCOV3R TAHT A M3TAOR SHOWER SI PALTNG AWAY AT EARTH AND TAHT A HUG3 ASTAROID CAPABLA OF DESTROYNG TEH PLAENT SI HEAEDD FOR A DIERCT HIT WIT DA PLAENT!11!!!1 WIT AL OPTIONS 2 FANTASTIC 2 IMPL3MENT BFORE COLISION NASA D3CIEDS 2 R3CRUIT TEH WORLDS BST OIL DRIL3RS 2 LAND ON TEH AST3ROID DRIL A HOLE DROP A NUCLEAR BOMB IN2 TEH HOL3 TH3N TAEK OF AND RAMOTELEY DE2NAET TEH BOMB!!!1!!!!! WTF LOL FOR DA DRIL TEM THAY SAL3CT HARY STMPER AND HIS CRAW TAHT INCLUDES 2UGH GUY-SOFTEI BAR BRILIANT SMART-AS ROKHOUND AJ!1!1!1 DA OVEREAEGR FIANCE OF HIS INDEP3NDENT DAUGHT3R AND SPACY OSCAR !1!!11!11 OMG WTF LOL ITS A RAEC AGANEST TIEM 2 G3T TEH DRIL3RS TRANEED LAND THAM ON TEH ASTEROID AND GAT DA HOL3 DRILED BFORE EARTH SI DESTROYED!11!! OMG LOL!!!!11 OMG WTF

3. SOMETIEM IN DA FUTURA TEH POLAR IEC CAPS HAEV MALT3D AND DA WORLDS OC3ANS AND SAAS HAEV COVERED DA LAND!!!11!11 WTF P3OPLA R FEW AND FAR BTWEN LIVNG IN SMAL COMUNITEIS AT SEA OR SALENG FROM ONE 2 ANOTHAR AS TRAEDRS!!!!11 OMG WTF LOL AL TEH P3OPLE SEK DRY LAND.!!!1111!11 OMG WTF LOL SOMATHNG NOBODY HAS SEN!111! OMG LOL

4. DA S2RY BGINS AS DON DA HAAD OF A NU YORK MAFIA FMILEY OVERSES HIS DAUGHTARS WEDNG!!!111 LOL HIS BLOVED SON MICHAAL HAS JUST COM3 HOMA FROM TEH WAR BUT DOAS NOT INTEND 2 BCOMA PART OF HIS FATHERS BUSIENS!111!!11! WTF LOL THROUGH MICHA3LS LIEF TEH NATUR3 OF TEH FMILEY BUSIENS BCOMES CL3AR!!11!11 WTF LOL TEH BUSIENS OF DA FMILEY SI JUST LIEK TEH HEAD OF TEH FMILEY KIND AND BNEVOLANT 2 THOSA WHO GIEV RESP3CT BUT GIEVN 2 RUTHLAS VIOLENCE WHEN3VER ANYTHNG STANDS AGANEST TEH GOD OF DA FMILEY!11!!1 DON VI2 LIEVS HIS LIEF IN TEH WAY OF TEH OLD COUNTRY BUT TIEMS R CHANGNG AND SOME DONT WANT 2 FOLOW TEH OLD WAYS AND LOK OUT FOR COMUNITY AND FMILEY!!!!!!!1 LOL AN UP AND COMNG RIVAL OF TEH CORLAON3 FMILEY WANTS 2 START SELNG DRUGS IN NU YORK AND NEDS TEH DONS INFLU3NCE 2 FURTHER HIS PLAN!!!!11!! OMG WTF LOL TEH CLASH OF TEH DONS FADNG OLD WORLD VALUES AND TEH NU WAYS WIL DEMAND A TARIBLA PRIEC ESPACIALY FROM MICHAEL AL FOR DA SAEK OF TEH FMILEY

5. TEH YEAR SI 1985 AND MARTY SI UR 3VARYDAY TENAEGR 3XC3PT FOR ON3 PROBL3M!1!!1! OMG WTF H3 SI STUK IN 195!!1!11 AFTER HIS GOD FREIND SI GUN3D DOWN MARTY ENDS UP SANDNG HIS TIEM MACHIEN BAK THIRTY YEARS IN2 TEH PAST!111! NOW HA MUST FIND DOC BROWN AND CONVINCA HIM TAHT HA SI FROM TEH FUTURE IN ORD3R FOR TEH DOC 2 SAND HIM BAK 2 DA FUTURE BUT THES SI DA LEAST OF MARTYS PROBLEMS!111! OMG WTF AFTER ACIEDNTALY G3TNG IN TEH WAY OF TEH IMPORTANT METNG BTWEN HIS FUTURA MOTHER AND FATH3R MARTY MUST GET TH3M BAK 2G3THAR BFORA HE CHANGES TIEM FOREV3R AND DASTROYS HIS OWN EXIST3NC3!!!!!1! OMG WTF LOL

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46 Replies to “I’m a thief”

  1. Kylah

    Sadly, I’m a part of that generation, so I know that this is:

    1. Cloverfield
    2. Armageddon
    3. Waterworld
    4. The Godfather
    5. Back to the Future

    This why I don’t talk to over half the people in my school. I swear kids today, I can’t stand most of them.

  2. Avitable

    Amanda, shit. Maybe next time I should run it through the AOLer and then translate it into Spanish, German, then English.

    Kylah, thank Jeebus you don’t talk like that.

    BPR, I figured it might take a little longer than the first 15 minutes the post is up.

    Hello, yeah, this might be too hard to read for those of you “older” folks.

    Poppy, empanada?

    Tori, yeah. Sigh.

    Karen, you got it! How’d you know?

    Neil, I know I would have been more interested in it.

    Aunt Robin, a picture of my testicles.

    Kapgar, I think I’m going to hear that all day long now.

    Britt, part II was on TV the other night. Such a great flick.

    NYCWD OMG WTF!!11!!

    Angel, which one did you have to ask him about?

  3. Grant

    I think Waterworld works better taking NetFlix’s description and Japanesing it via Altavista’s Babelfish translator:

    The planet of the terrestrial liquid which can do the polar cap ice in the world of the Futurism which dissolved, (Jeanne Tripplehorn) as for the beautiful hostess to rescue the sailor of the mutation body from the jail of the floating atoll, (cabin Costner). Those escape, fullness and Enola where she is young (Tina Majorino) and also with from that trimaran navigate separated. But the torio the menace pirate who directly desires tattooed map “dry area” in the back section of Enola (Dennis’s hopper) becomes the target.

    That’s right – fear Dennis’s hopper. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t want to know.

  4. Clown

    You of all people could have picked at least a few challenging movies.
    The Japanese translator is fun while the AOL version is just annoying.

    I hate this post.
    I most certainly do NOT want to stick my balls in it.

  5. Avitable

    Poppy, as long as she’s okay with me putting “sour cream” on her.

    Robin, that’s probably best that you hear it now.

    Grant, ooh, nice one.

    TrishK, I know! Do you have a Betamax player?

    TMP, next time I’ll make it harder.

    J, yeah, she got them all right, too!

    Y2K, it’s worth watching for some people. Might be a little too “in your face” for you.

    Absurdist, #1 is Cloverfield.

    Turnbaby, yeah – next time I’ll just make the details harder.

    Dan, but can you eat my weight in marshmallows?

    Amy, OMG LIEK UR A N00B!!!ONELOL

    Amanda, but do you love being called Mexican food?

    Stephanie, I know how you feel – I’m the same way. Dammit – you got me sick!

    Cheri, you didn’t know The Godfather?

    Shelli, suuuuure you did.

    Sybil, ROTFLMAO.

    Clown, how about dipping your balls in it?

    Bossy, you are TEH WINNARZ!!!

    Boy Blunder, it’s in the mail.

    Wayne, I’ll let you slide this time. Since I stole it, too.

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