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There once was a man named Adam Heath
He had most of his hair and all of his teeth
Then he got a cold
And his soul was sold
To the devil so he cud fin’ly breef.

Today is the birthday of Heather, a blog neighbor
She and her husband are geeks of the highest caliber
Ty met his wife at Space Camp
They rubbed ’til his pants were damp
And he loves it when she touches his lightsaber.

There was this whore we’ll call “Shmritt”
At a party she showed everyone one tit
I missed the show
And now the ho
Won’t even show me jack shit.

A penis has its very own brain
It reacts in a way that’s insane
If it’s a bad time
I just clear my mind
And think of Hillary Clinton’s vajane.

A vagina, let’s face it, rarely looks cute
Even if it’s cleanly shaven or neatly hirsute
In the end a man won’t care
If it’s hairy or bare
As long as in it, he can’t fit his whole boot

Successful masturbation should be a thrill
As long as you have a place to release your spill
If you hold it when you get off
Just make sure you don’t cough
Or you might just give yourself a necklace of pearl.

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30 Replies to “Hellcockshitwhore”

  1. Sybil Law

    There lives a man named Adam
    Who would never be mistaken for a madam
    He has hair everywhere and loves to wear black
    Takes pictures of his balls and his hairy back
    He should present said pictures to Gaddum.

    Man, mine sucked.
    Anyway, thanks for the laugh!
    Hope you’re feeling better! How’s the car?!

  2. Avitable

    Britt, no, no, no. They’re good if you CAN’T fit a boot in!

    Amy, you don’t have good reading comprehension, either!

    Turnbaby, these were done sotally tober.

    Fabulous, I wish. That might explain something.

    Robin, maniacal laughter is always good.

    AnnieB, I’m a scat hound, what can I say?

    Robin, why can’t a guy write some dirty limericks without being accused of being on drugs?

    Hello, no, clearly you’re brilliant!

    Metalmom, nice!

    Christie, if you say so!

    Clown, he pulled a Thelma and Louise.

    Stephanie, no, she’s a big ol’ tease.

    TMP, I bought it back.

    Bossy, I should be the poet laureate.

    Crys, not my butt.

    Cheri, share away!

    RW, there once was a man from RW. He was snooty.

    Sybil, wow. Maybe you shouldn’t quit your day job.

    CP, this was the limerick post, not the haiku post, thankyouverymuch.

    PP, does Santa use that as a chimney?

    MyWeeWorld, girlie parts are pretty cool, too.

    Bobgirrl, you rang?

  3. Avitable

    CMG, are there clean-minded geeks?

    Sarcastica, here you go:

    There once was a girl named Sarcastica
    She liked to spend money – cash or plastica,
    But when she ran out
    Instead of a pout
    She sold pictures for dirty men to whack-it-ta.

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