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Lazy Sunday XXVII

Today’s Lazy Sunday is going to be a bit different. Typically, I work in a few pop culture references. Some are obscure, some are not. For example, last week, one of my answers was “They’ve gone plaid”, which was clearly a reference to Spaceballs. I think most people miss them and don’t appreciate all of the hard work that I’ve put into trying to come up with these allusions.

Well, I will no longer be underappreciated. My solution is very simple: I shall now bribe all of you to search desperately for my clever references.

From this point forward, every Lazy Sunday will continue to have several movie or television references. They might be a quote, a situational reference, an offhand remark or a subtle allusion, but they will be there. And to the sharp-eyed fucker who can find all of them and gives me the numbers and movie or television show names in the comments, I will reward you with glory and thanks. Oh, and a prize!

What’s today’s prize, you might ask? How about an iPod Shuffle?

Want to win it? Just find and guess the references, along with the corresponding numbers. If there are multiple people who guess correctly, I will choose one of the names at random and select my winner that way.

Contest ends Monday at midnight EST. Canadians may be required to do a small math problem in order to win.

A few additions (8:57 AM EST, 2/24/08):

1. If I actually name a TV show or movie as an answer, that clearly isn’t going to be one of them. That’s a bit too obvious, don’t you think?
2. If you get rid of Roxanne, Dora, and Oz, there are 7 actual references and allusions that you should be able to pick up.
3. You get two tries. After that, feel free to comment, but if you keep adding ones on, they’re not going to count.


Thanks to Kapgar for this one. There are 7 movie or television references to find.

1. Do you like blue cheese?
No, but I have blown cheese.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
The only thing I like to do with heroin is put it in little balloons and shove the balloons up my ass.

3. Do you own a gun?
Well, I certainly don’t have a license to carry what’s in my pants.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Lime-semen.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor’s appointments?
I used to for my prostate exams. But then I found a doctor who started taking me to dinner and a movie first.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I think the combination of rat tail, raccoon feet, pigeon head, and boot tongue is lip-smackingly delicious.

7. Favorite Christmas song?
I saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus’s Penis.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
A Weight Gain 4000 shake. I’m trying to bulk up.

9. Can you do push ups?
Yes. I do them at such a high speed that it just seems like I’m laying on the floor, though.

10. What do you order at Starbucks?
Large cheese pizza.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My spleen piercing.

12. Favorite hobby?
Skinny prank phone-calling.

13. How do you eat your eggs?
I suck them out of the uterus with a straw.

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
No.

15. What’s one trait you hate about yourself?
My inability to . . . . ooh, shiny!

16. Your eye color?
Stripper pole silver

17. Name three thoughts at this exact moment?
1. I’ve never actually seen a stripper pole. Are they bronze?
2. Am I strange for having no desire to ever go to a strip club?
3. Ooh, shiny!

18. Name three things you bought yesterday?
Do sex acts from donkeys count as “things”?

19. Three drinks you regularly drink?
Diet Coke
Diet Coke with Lime
Diet Coke with Lemon

20. Current worry right now?
I wonder if this contest is going to be too subtle.

21. Current hate right now?
Edible panties that taste like limburger cheese.

22. Favorite place to be?
Oz. The magical land, not the prison.

23. How did you bring in the New Years?
Ohhhhh. I thought it was the Nude Years! No wonder the host was so horrified.

24. Where would you like to go?
To that place in France where the naked ladies dance.

25. Name three people who will complete this?
Larry, Curly, and Moe.

26. Do you own slippers?
Yes, with pictures of Dora the Explorer on them.

27. What shirt are you wearing?
I’m topless right now. Well, except for the sports bra.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
No. Every time I try to jump into bed, I just slide right off the other side.

29. Can you whistle?
Only rectally.

30. Favorite color?
Mauve.

31. Would you be a pirate?
No. I’m not really a booty man.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I only take baths, and I like to make my shampoo and conditioner bottles fight for superiority.

33. Favorite girl’s name?
Anything Irish.

34. Favorite boy’s name?
Adam. Or Thor.

35. What’s in your pocket right now?
A half a pack of cigarette, a tank of gas, and my sunglasses.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Steve Martin in Roxanne.

37. Most frequently dialed phone number?
1-800-AVITABLE. And I’ll keep dialing it until someone actually answers and says “1-800-Avitable, how can I help you?”

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians. My eyes are ceramic now.

39. Do you love where you live?
Home is where you bury the hookers.

40. How many TVs do you have?
I refuse to answer this question until my wife lets me get one for the bathroom.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Oh, you know.

42. How many dogs do you have?
I refuse to answer this question until my wife lets me get one for the bathroom.

43. What are you thrilled about right now?
Toilet dog!

44. Do you have a crush on someone?
Hulk Hogan.

45. What is your favorite book?
Chicken Soup for the Hairy Gorilla Geek Soul

46. What is your favorite candy?
It’s NOT Turkish Delight.

47. Favorite Sports Team?
The San Francisco Snowballers.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I want people to sing “I Say a Little Prayer” in unison.

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Stripping. It’s my night job.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I hope I didn’t eat my underwear again in my sleep. I was dreaming that I was eating pancakes.

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38 Replies to “Lazy Sunday XXVII”

  1. Amanda

    okay, for one, there’s way more than 7 references, I’m guessing you want the more subtle ones?

    2. Traffic and Maria Full of Grace are the first two that come to mind, but I know there’s something else
    8. Southpark- BEEFCAKE
    22. Oz
    25. Three Stooges
    26. Dora the explorer
    28. Van Wilder
    48. My Best Friend’s Wedding

    I give up

  2. Y2k Survivor

    Hey this is nothing but discrimination against people who read and shit, and are too busy gettin to be “smart people” to waste time watching movies and TV shows.

    So therefore I think you should give me the Ipod Shuffle and consider your ass lucky I don’t call my facilitator.

    That’s all assuming you buy into me being an intellectual. Any chance in that?

  3. Kylah

    Okay, I’ll give this a shot:

    8. South Park
    9. The Wizard of Oz and Oz the show
    25. The Three Stooges
    26. Dora The Explorer
    28. Van Wilder
    30. Doctor Who (this one is a wild guess because I’ve never seen the show, but I think I remember a friend making a reference to this)

    I have to think on the seventh one, and come back later. Two part entries better be allowed, or else… I think I need to finish the threat later too, I don’t have any good threats right now.

  4. Clown

    I have a post-it note with Paul McCartney’s name on it. Sure it’s old, but it’s still good.

    Really… Good move. As you know, I skip over pretty much every one of Sunday posts. Because of this I didn’t get to enjoy the Spaceballs reference of the many Full House references you’ve likely made. Now I have to read them in the future… You bastard.

    Oh… Might be good to make note that you aren’t likely to actually put movie/show names in your answers. That wouldn’t be a challenge.

  5. L

    Here’s my best shot

    22) The Wizard of Oz
    24) Moulin Rouge
    25) The three stooges
    26) Dora the Explorer
    35) Elwood – It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses – blues brothers
    36) Steve Martin – Roxanne
    38 ) Admiral Benson- – Hot Shots

    Looking at the comments above I think I missed 32) Billy madison but hey Im only part human lol

    Thanks for keeping me amused for nigh on 2 hours lol how sad am I really ?

  6. hellohahanarf

    even after sleep i still sucketh at this contest. damn.

    therefore, instead of embarrassing myself with my terrible guesses, i’ll leave you with my favorite billy madison quote:

    Principal: Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
    Billy Madison: Okay, a simple “wrong” would’ve done just fine.

    :lmao:

  7. L

    I had another bash which quite frankly left a dirty little mess

    I never have been good at these things

    2) Blow
    24) Moulin Rouge
    25) The three stooges
    35) Elwood – It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses – blues brothers
    38 ) Admiral Benson- – Hot Shots

    now I’m gonna cry in the corner

  8. Avitable

    Hello, I love congtests!

    Amanda, I’ll tell you that #2 is not a reference to anything. And neither is #28.

    Dave, it just allows me to add pitch and tone.

    Y2K, smart people watch smart TV, so nice try!

    Dee, well #2 wasn’t a real one, so good job!

    Kylah, the Van Wilder one is unintentional, and you have two right.

    Amanda, so you’re going to find them one at a time?

    Clown, thanks for the note – good idea.

    DB, I’ll try to make some contests a bit more universal for the future.

    L, you got 3 correct.

    Britt, no, conditioner is bettah!

    Robin, you know that was just a joke about how all these US contests always have a weird Canadian rule, right?

    Hello, that is one of my favorite quotes from that movie, too.

    L, still, 3 correct.

    Robin, exactly!

  9. Hilly

    Oh sure, Lazy Sunday for YOU but not for us ;). Here is the best I can do:

    8. South Park
    15. The Simpsons ?
    22. Oz, The Wizard of
    24. Moulin Rouge
    25. The Three Stooges
    30. Doctor Who (mauve, the universal color for danger!)
    32. Billy Madison?
    35. Blues Brothers
    36. Uh, Roxanne
    38. Hot Shots

    Uhm, I think that Dora one is about Dora but it may be about something random, so I won’t lock it in as my final answer unless I am in a tie to actually win something ;).

  10. m

    6. SIMPSONS
    8. SOUTH PARK
    18.normally, I wouldn’t call this a reference, but because its you, Clerks 2
    22. Wizard of Oz
    25. Three Stooges
    26. Dora
    30 Doctor Who, universal color for danger, only Earth does red
    32. Billy Madison
    34. Adventures in Babysitting or possibly the Ultimate Avengers dvd movie
    35. Blues Brothers
    36.Roxanne.
    38. Hot Shots
    44. wrestling, American Gladiators, stoopid movies, shameless self-promotional opportunities
    45. Stupid movie based on a stupid book that proves reading has nothing to do with smart
    47 sounds like it should be a reference…
    48. My Best Friend’s Wedding

  11. m

    I knew that 800 one was something buy couldn’t place…until now.

    6. SIMPSONS
    8. SOUTH PARK
    18.normally, I wouldn’t call this a reference, but because its you, Clerks 2
    22. Wizard of Oz
    25. Three Stooges
    26. Dora
    30 Doctor Who, universal color for danger, only Earth does red
    32. Billy Madison
    34. Adventures in Babysitting or possibly the Ultimate Avengers dvd movie
    35. Blues Brothers
    36.Roxanne.
    37. 1-800-CALL-TUR (k)
    38. Hot Shots
    44. wrestling, American Gladiators, stoopid movies, shameless self-promotional opportunities
    45. Stupid movie based on a stupid book that proves reading has nothing to do with smart
    47 sounds like it should be a reference…
    48. My Best Friend’s Wedding

    1-800-CALL-TUR (k)

  12. Clown

    M was allowed to participate and I wasn’t!?!
    I get bonus points for my non-entry since I knew which were inadvertent references and which 7 you were talking about!
    M, pick 7 or else I’ll kill Eliza Dushku!

    Adam, after bonus points my non-entry prize can be I don’t have to look at your stupid face for nine and a half months.

  13. m

    You kill The Dushku and you scuttle a Joss Whedon series and in so doing you grant me an army with which to have at you.

    I’ll cut it down to 8, on account of of Adam not being able to tell the difference between single digit numbers to within a margin of 2.

    He’s dysnumerical

    6,8,25,32,35,37,38,48

  14. Avitable

    Hilly, well, to be honest, it took me forever to do, too. You did pretty well, although the Dr. Who one is not something I actually remembered.

    Trish, it’s not my favorite, but it’s better than the plain one.

    M, wow. You managed to come up with ones that I didn’t even think of!

    Zom, that was also unintentional.

    M, the Scrubs one was not a real one.

    Clown, he hasn’t commented in months. Why would I think that he’d randomly show up?

    Kyra, that’s the best prize of all!

  15. Clown

    M is a bloodhound when it comes to tv related quizes.

    I organized an illegal cockfight in the Dominican Republic about 6 months ago. It was very hush hush, but who showed up just before the start to clean house?

    That’s right, Stephen Hawking. Still, I think the big red shaped hand print on the back of his wheelchair showed that M was his puppet master.

  16. Janelle

    Well, I suck at this contest! But #28 made me spit my coffee out! And I’ll give you that Facing the Giants does not have the best acting, but the message is great if you like God, which you clearly don’t. :angel:

  17. Avitable

    Clown, now you’ve managed to lose me.

    Janelle, it’s a movie – having the best acting is the whole point. Doesn’t matter if the message is good – it’s a shit movie by the very definition of movie.

    Kapgar, enter – you might win! There is still a very high chance.

  18. Clown

    Have to agree.
    Doesn’t matter how good a message is, a shit movie is a shit movie.

    If somebody is looking for a tickle to their faith they shouldn’t have to settle for mediocre to get it. Might as well watch Angels in the Outfield. At least that has Doc Brown in it. :xmas3:

    Yeah, I don’t get the santa smiley either but it was the closest to a jesus smiley that you have.

  19. BlondeBlogger

    3. Elf

    8. South Park

    24. Moulin Rouge

    32. Billy Madison

    35. Blue’s Brothers

    38. Hot Shots

    48. My Best Friend’s Wedding

    Oh my gosh you have no idea how much I NEEEEED an Ipod!!! Really! If you could see the pathetic piece of crap that I exercise with. A friggin CD walkman! That’s silver and orange! And I knocked it off the holder while on the treadmill, and it fell behind me and broke apart.

    So now, there’s no battery back anymore and the top won’t close all the way shut when I play a CD.

    Really! I should win out of pity alone!

  20. Sybil Law

    8. South Park
    32. Billy Madison
    35. The Blues Brothers
    38. Hot Shots
    48. My Best Friend’s Wedding
    Dammit. Is this thing over or can I come back? I need a fresh brain to think of any more!
    Damn you, Avitable! Damn you all to hell! :crazywife:

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