Avikipedia

avitabile_portrait.jpg

I need help from a Wikipedia expert. Does anyone have editing capabilities on Wikipedia? How does it work? I usually stay away from it because I think people rely on it too much, almost as an encyclopedic resource. When it comes to information about entertainment or current events, it can be a good source of information, but I hate when people use it for legal or medical advice or even for historical research purposes.

Unfortunately, though, I now need to learn about Wikipedia. You see, there's an entry about my ancestor, Paolo di Avitabile, who was the actual inspiration for the bogeyman in Pakistan. Even to this day, parents tell their children to behave or "Abu Tabela" will come and get them.

I think it would be awesome if part of the entry for my ancestor discussed current descendants. Would anyone know how to edit it to add something like the following:

"Avitabile's family is spread throughout Naples and the United States, where his name was changed to "Avitable" by lazy registrars at Ellis Island. One well-known descendant is Adam Heath Avitable, who maintains a blog online at http://www.avitable.com."

I'd really like to do this – if someone can help me figure it out, that would help. If they could just do it for me, that would be even better! You'd be my number one bestest friend.

You can email me at my first name at my last name dot com if you have any advice or suggestions or if you want me to verbally masturbate you for helping out.

The rest of today's post discusses the contest and is in an extended entry.

Okay, now on to the contest. The results are in with regards to my first Lazy Sunday contest: almost everyone is lazy, stupid, or both!

Was it too hard? Were the references too subtle? Should I have just made it so that if you could spell your name without drooling, you were entered? Let me know, so I can come up with a better approach for next week that might elicit a few more responses. How hard should I make you work to win a prize like an iPod Shuffle or something similar? Please let me know your feedback.

Here are the actual references:

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I think the combination of rat tail, raccoon feet, pigeon head, and boot tongue is lip-smackingly delicious.

This is a reference to the Simpsons. Specifically, Episode #3F03: "Lisa the Vegetarian". Those are the ingredients that Lisa imagines make up a hot dog.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
A Weight Gain 4000 shake. I'm trying to bulk up.

This is a reference to the same-titled episode "Weight Gain 4000", which was South Park's second episode in its first and infinitely superior season.

25. Name three people who will complete this?
Larry, Curly, and Moe

This was the easy one. The Three Stooges.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I only take baths, and I like to make my shampoo and conditioner bottles fight for superiority.

This alludes to Billy Madison, where Adam Sandler's titular character sits in the tub and makes his shampoo and conditioner bottles fight. "Shampoo is better! No, conditionah is bettah!"

35. What’s in your pocket right now?
A half a pack of cigarette, a tank of gas, and my sunglasses.

This was another easy one for you. One of the most recognizable quotes from The Blues Brothers.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians. My eyes are ceramic now.

This is a line by Lloyd Bridges's Admiral Benson in Hot Shots.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I want people to sing "I Say a Little Prayer" in unison.

Finally, this is the best-known scene from My Best Friend's Wedding.


And for the wrong guesses:

The heroin balloon line was a general reference but didn't pertain to any specific movie or TV show. The obvious ones, where I mentioned Oz, Roxanne, and Dora, weren't references. Those were actual mentions! See how that works?

I've only been subjected to Van Wilder once, so I had no idea that was even a reference. I was actually being honest about our satin sheets. I'm a fan of the new Doctor Who, but I had no recollection of mauve being the color of danger, so that was accidental, as was the 1-800-CALL-TUR(K) Scrubs reference. The place in France where the naked ladies dance is much older than Moulin Rouge and was just a funny sing-song type thing that I've known since childhood.

"Ooh, shiny" in #15 is more of a reference to ADD than an allusion to shows where that has been said, like The Simpsons and Family Guy. Good guess, though.

The only person to successfully guess all 7 was M from Redrighthand.net. Congratulations – email me to confirm so I can send you your prize!

Next week I'll tweak the contest based on your feedback, so stay tuned!

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Dancing Avitable

Dancing Avitable from Adam Avitable on Vimeo.