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Blogrolling with my homies

So it’s that time again. Time to update the blogroll.

A few bloggers turned into scandalous cunts and aren’t worth my time anymore. A few bloggers just disappeared. And, of course, I’ve added a ton of new blogs to my feedreader, but that doesn’t mean they got added to my blogroll on the site here. And if they’re not added to my blogroll here, there’s no linkage from me to you.

I’m going to wipe the blogroll slate clean here and rebuild it from scratch. So, if you want on it, leave a comment and let me know. That goes for you lurkers, too. But that’s not all!

I’m also going to add Ubernyms (those cute little nicknames that appear when you hover over a name like Britt or Amy) for everyone. If there’s something specific that you’d like for your personal Ubernym, now’s your chance to let me know in the comments.

Finally, I’d like to thank everyone for their comments yesterday. Clearly, my post was intended as satire and humor, and I’m glad nobody took offense. Well, so far. I haven’t been invited to be a keynote speaker at the BlogHer conference yet either.

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150 Replies to “Blogrolling with my homies”

  1. bluepaintred

    I most definitely want to be on your blogroll.

    And I want my Ubernym to be “protesting body hair since 1997”, please and thank you.

    And while we are on the topic of blogrolls, as your blog name starts with an A, you are “done” in my blogroll. Please click the blogroll link (on my blog, duh) to see what I am talking about.

    (the naked ass pic did not work, I needed landscape. Sigh)

  2. Chris

    I’ll probably cry if I’m not on the list and I might possibly cause bodily harm to those around me. Then again I might just have another shot and call it a day.

    I would love to be Cock Gobbler, unless that one’s taken and if so then how about SeaFag?

  3. HoosierGirl

    Of course I want to be on your blog roll…..what self-respecting woman wouldn’t? :sex023:

    And for my Ubernym, how about “my favorite Hoosier”? I don’t know if I’m your favorite person from Indiana or not, but still, it’s fun to pretend…. :hug:


  4. yoshi

    I’d love to be on your blogroll!

    I’ve been lurking here and there and commenting a couple times for a while now.

    Ubernym? um… “i. will. make. you. hungry.” LOL Anyone that chats with me will vouch for the truth of that. πŸ˜€

  5. Tori

    I try and comment often, but sometimes your posts just leave me speechless!!! Not sure if I’m link worthy, or ubername worthy for that matter since I doubt you’ll ever talk about me… but all in all I’d love to still be part of the gang!

  6. Dan

    “The new blogroll’s here! The new blogroll’s here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now.”

    That’s a rather roundabout way of saying yes please. Sorry for being a Jerk.

  7. Lisa

    OMG, I can’t imagine what kind of ubernym I’d get with a blog name like Clusterfook. What the hell? Are you going to call me Fook Face or something?

    I’ve been called a lot worse. How about Bitch on a Stick?


  8. golfwidow

    I would like to be on your blogroll. I would like to be known as “Buns of Cinnamon” unless you can think of something more appropriate.

    I would also like to nominate cinnamon buns, dunked in batter, for a future Fryday, if they haven’t been done already.

    I would also like to nominate cinnamon buns for any other awards they qualify for, because, hello, cinnamon buns.

    (I shouldn’t think of these things before I’ve had anything to eat.)

  9. Cap

    All I have to do is ask and I can be on your blogroll? I don’t even have to show you my boobs? You truly are Avitable the Benevolent. Add me! Add me!

    My ubernym … hmmm. I’ll leave that up to you, but something like “Hot, single, rich lesbian” would be okay.

  10. Mr. Fabulous

    Dude, didn’t you take me to task a few months ago for asking people what they wanted as their ubernym rather than picking it myself?

    I would so totally come down there and slap you around, except I am exhausted from all the masturbating I have been doing to yesterday’s post.

  11. RW

    I would like to be included because you are just the funnest greatest blogger that ever was on the face of the whole planet and u r great and u r talented and the greatest funnest funniest fun guy that ever funned.

  12. ADW

    Holy crapballs shartman! What would my ubernym be?

    Some ideas:
    1. A dirty cunt from Cleveland
    2. She lets me put my aaahhhh in her weeeeee!
    3. “And where did you work while you were going through Medical School? Hooters. No further questions. ——I call it doing the Hibbity Dibbity.”
    4. She farts, but it smells Oh so lovely.

    Need any more ideas? I got tons of ’em.

  13. Coal Miner's Granddaughter

    To be on the Avitable blog roll would be… I haven’t the words. I would have to drive to your home and bow in the presence of your greatness, brining chocolate-covered burritos and Diet Coke as offerings.

    Yes, Coal Miner’s Granddaughter would be honored to be a part of your blog roll.

    And? My Ubernym? I guess it could be the same as the Ubernym over at Fab’s place. Give me some continuity. “Damn, sexy geek.” That would do me just fine!

  14. That Bitchy Chick

    I’m creeping out of the lurker’s closet to say that I’ve had you on my Blog Roll for about a year so umm, yeah, I wouldn’t mind being on your’s if that’s possible. Damn, now I feel all stalkeresque and everything. But now at least with commenting, I get to play with the smilies! :martini: :boobs4:

  15. Poppy

    Took offense?!

    Adam, that post rocked hard. And, AWWWWWWWWWW! πŸ˜‰

    I’m not going to ask to be left in your blogroll but I will cry silent tears if you take me out of it on purpose, you vindictive bastard. πŸ˜‰

    As for ΓΌbernym, c’est Γ  vous.

  16. Grant

    Add me if you deem my rarely updated blog worthy. Also please use my trademarked “セクスをしませんか。” as my Ubernym. I assume your computer can speak Japanese as you probably have cooler stuff than me.

  17. Allyson

    Who doesn’t want to be on Avitable’s blogroll? Only morons wouldn’t want to be on Avitable’s blogroll.

    Although I must admit, it’s a little scary as I don’t post as often as I should. But since commentluv doesn’t work for me, and won’t until I move my site… it IS kind of my only source of advertising.

    And Ubernym? Can you wait until after we meet at Britt’s place on Saturday? I’d like the name to encompass my true personality.

  18. Vikk

    I have to say I’d rather be a “scandalous cunt” than a sociopath. Srsly.

    From Allyson: Who doesn’t want to be on Avitable’s blogroll? Only morons wouldn’t want to be on Avitable’s blogroll.

    Um, honey. I can name off a list of scandalous cunts who do NOT want to be on his blogroll, and trust me they are NOT morons. Diaryland?? Are you fucking kidding me??

  19. Avitable

    Beth, can I just make up any name for you, then?

    Dave, I don’t know. What’s your Avitable Number?

    Amanda, okay. I’ll think of something.

    Squeaky Wheel, this is good – I tend to forget some people who don’t comment frequently. Thanks!

    Kyra, some day . . .

    Hilly, I’ll see what I can do.

    Turnbaby, oh, you’re not a giggler! Nice try.

    Amy, nope. I had no idea, although I thought it was a good idea and if she had told me, I might have supported it!

    Glenda, do you have a blog? That’s one important part.

    Jay, I know – you’re such a whore.

    BPR, I like your blogroll idea! That’s going to take you forever!

    Freelance Guru, it’s a deal.

    Kirsten, how about “The Slightly Clever KirstenL4W”?

    Chris, “Cock Gobbler” it is.

    Mona Mildew, what was your old domain?

    HG, you’re definitely my favorite Hoosier.

    Iddly, I did, and I emailed you. You also need to turn on feeds for your blog – let me know once you’ve done that.

    Trkndude299, do you have a blog?

    Yoshi, thanks for delurking – your wish is my command.

    Tori, you’re in there. I might have to write a post where I talk about everyone all at once.

    Dan, that’s okay. Jerk.

    MRK, nice to meet you. πŸ™‚

    Lisa, hmm – Bitch on a Stick has a nice ring to it.

    Golfwidow, I love it!

    Cap, well . . . why don’t you go ahead and show me your boobs while you’re at it?

    Fab, yeah, but then I realized it was a good idea to combine that with updating my blogroll. Just wait until I write a post that uses everyone’s name so they can see their ubernyms!

    RW, you forgot hottest.

    Karen, so I can pick a really embarrassing one for you?

    This Mom, ok, will do!

    Kapgar, your ubernym may be “The Man who Reads Too Little”.

    Britt, so you’re okay with your ubernym?

    Absurdist, aren’t you really absurd, though?

    ADW, I like #2 – that’s a good one.

    Paticus, like Flint.

    CMG, why haven’t you done that yet, that’s the important question.

    NYCWD, I should be, too, huh?

    Bitchy Chick, this is why you should comment. All the cool smilies?

    Robin, does it have to be about boobs? πŸ™‚

    AnnieB, even though you don’t have a blog?

    Poppy, okay, I’ll be creative and very dirty-minded.

    MsBatman, I’m glad you reminded me. I don’t think I updated my feedreader with your new site either.

    Clown, why does that sound so familiar? It’s Always Sunny?

    Grant, my Japanese is rusty, but is that “You don’t want sex?”

    Allyson, this Saturday? You’re going to be at Britt’s? Nobody tells me anything!

    Bossy, the unsafe part is when we meet.

    Britt, it’s tough to actually spell out words like an adult, isn’t it?

    Mik, you have a short ass?

    TMP, well, yeah. But what do you want me to give you for an ubernym?

    Mom, cookie?

  20. Lynda

    I wouldn’t mind being on your blog roll, but I feel kind of guilty because I haven’t made my blog roll yet. I am still trying to think of a domain name, since August. haha. You are in my Google share folder though.

    For an Ubernym, the first thing that comes to mind is: She only looks sweet and innocent.

  21. Grant

    Assuming my Japanese is correct, it’s a slightly abbreviated but formal way to ask for sex – the closest English equivalent is “Won’t you have sex (with me)?” Basically I’m hanging the invitation out for anyone who can read it, like Japanese schoolgirls or hairy Floridians.

    Here, gorilla boy. I’ve got a lovely fried cheeseburger for you. Reach into my pocket and get it.

  22. Vikk

    Good to see some things never change around here, Adam. You’re still “outing” people. First Heather, then Miss Ann, and now me. Too bad you’re too fucking late and anyone who matters know who I am and WHY I have the other blog.

    Must suck to be a day late to the party all the time huh??

    Oh and if you weren’t talking about Soda and such, why mention her in your commentat all?? You’re fucking pathetic. That whole “tact” thing. You might want to try it sometime, although I guess your readership would go down and we know it’s all about the comments and followers with you.

  23. Peggy

    Why not fill your blogroll with blogs you actually read?

    I mean I could tell you to add mine but you don’t read. Even though I am but minutes from you and you could take a fucking interest in what the fuck is happening in my mother fucking life FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!

    I’m not bitter.

  24. ADW

    How did I know that #2 would work for you. I don’t even know why I bothered with the rest. Although I did think of another one: Award Winning Nutsack Shaver and Wang Fondler Extraordinairre.

    Just sayin’

  25. Sybil Law

    Yes, please.
    I would also like you to make something up for me, because I have ZERO creativity right now.
    I think I was on the blogroll, anyway. The old one. Which only makes me love you more.
    Anyway, ubernym me as you see fit. (Should I be scared?!) :heartbeat:

  26. Avitable

    BPR, nevertheless, it’s still an endeavor. Not one I’m going to attempt, though!

    Clown, your name will now be Pussy Hands, I think.

    Ajooja, you’re another blog I’ve kept meaning to add to my reader, but you have to turn on your feeds first. Let me know after you do that.

    RW, I think that’s a good one for you. Because you totally are.

    Sarcastica, of course you would be. But I like to make you beg.

    BE Earl, well, an honor for me, of course.

    Lynda, why not That could be a good one!

    Grant, ah yes, I’m too rusty. I kept thinking “you won’t have sex?” And cheeseburger? Where? /beats chest

    Laura, okay, but you may regret it . . .

    Y2K, I don’t know if I’d call you great in bed. Maybe pretty good.

    Vikki, WHY you have the other blog? You mean so that you can troll around, hide behind anonymity, and say things that you wouldn’t say if people knew who you were? So you can be two-faced and smile with one blog but then be a cunt with the other? Wow – such an admirable reason. Using anonymity as a shield so that you can be hateful and mean-spirited is one of the most unfortunate aspects of the internet, and you’re one of the most pathetic people I know for employing that tactic.

    Special K, I looked at your blog but I don’t get the ubernym. Thanks for the comment!

    Jam, go to and sign up for an account and you’ll get your own avatar.

    Turnbaby, you just seem like more of a guffawer. And I know – I’m horrible about people’s radio shows.

    Sheila, thanks for letting me know. I’ll change that.

    Crystal, I could never make you ask like some kind of bitch. Just demand it like the avatar you are!

    Robin, yeah? Okay, I’ll keep that in mind when I come up with yours.

    L, your name shall now be known as Turnip Fucker!

    Peggy, I will be filling them with the ones I read, but I also want to see if there are people who read me that I might like to read. And I totally thought I had added you to my feedreader. Oops. You’re added now, though!

    Beth, would I do anything mean for you?

    Duck, I wasn’t even sure if you were still around!

    DB, I haven’t updated it yet – I will.

    TMP, okay, but it may contain some words of a sexual nature.

    Tracy, I’m not lazy. Just lazy-ish.

    ADW, that’s a good one, too. A skill you can show off when you’re down here, too.

    Bec, oh great. Now I have to come up with something impossibly funny!

    Finn, it’s a great smiley. Reminds me of a simpler time.

    Penelope, boobs are always worth the effort.

    Sybil, you should be very scared.

    Fab, I guess that in my head, she didn’t giggle. But usually, in my head, her mouth was full of something.

  27. Lynda

    haha. Oh, please. I haven’t even eaten a chocolate covered burrito yet. When that happens, we’ll talk about you not sueing me for using your name.

    Of course, I am leaning more towards

  28. Sarah is Ok

    I’d love to be on the blog roll. This site is awesome. And after yesterday, I’m totally hooked. For my ubernym, if it’s not already taken that is, I’ll go with “doesn’t have hairy balls.” That’s something I like people to know about me.

  29. Jeff

    Crap, I don’t have time right now to read thru all the millions of comments you have garnered so you may have already answered this… but did you ever do anything with that post where we all wrote in and left testimonials about you? I thought that might become your new blogroll.

    Anyway, regardless of that, sign me up!

  30. jester

    Are you fucking kidding me? I just got ON the damn blogroll, you’re gonna make me beg to stay on it? Ok ok ok. Please!? PLEEEEASSE? Hmm.. that’s not working… what if I say it all cute like: pwetty puweese can ah stay on you bwogwoll? :hug:

    I’m sure whatever Ubernym you craft to describe me will be much more truthful than any I would write myself.

    Just don’t call me a scandalous cunt again.

  31. HoosierGirl

    I am so glad I am your favorite Hoosier. That means a lot coming from you. I suspect that I MAY be the ONLY Hoosier you know, but I’m afraid to ask….

    Let me just state for the public record that me putting the “sticking-tongue-out” smiley on my last comment was just that: me sticking my tongue out at you. It was in no means intended as flirting, and I do not “want your body”. I just like reading your blog.

    Trkndude299 does not have a blog – he’s my boyfriend. Just so you know. He likes reading your blog, too.

    This has been a public service announcement.

  32. Summer

    Add me! Add me! and how do I put a picture to go with my comments? While I enjoy the drawing of Avitable I want my own. Oh and btw, I’m not very computer saavy so if it’s hard I’m not going to bother. I’ll keep you. πŸ™‚

  33. Avitable

    DB, ok, I’ll come up with something particularly dirty for you.

    Lynda, that’s true. You need to do that first. I like that name as a possible domain, too.

    Bec, only if I’m sleeping funny.

    Clown, well, stop bringing crack around here.

    BlondeBlogger, I have to be nice?? I’m not very good at that.

    Sarah is OK, “doesn’t have hairy balls” it is. Although, how do I know that’s true?

    Jeff, I am working on getting those testimonials all ready for my “about” page.

    Usedtobeme, I go purely by my feedreader, but I’ll make sure to update it!

    Gwen, k, bitches!

    Jester, you’ve been on the feedreader for a while you scandalous cunt.

    Kylah, I’ll see if I can think of something clever for you.

    AnnieB, I can give you a ubernym, but not add you to my blogroll.

    Girl, Dislocated, jeez – such a prude! πŸ™‚

    HG, hi, HG’s boyfriend! Don’t worry about me and HG – I’m only into girls aged 14-16.

    Summer, go to It’s easy. And next time you leave a comment, correct the URL of your blog too!

  34. trkndude299

    Please pardon my utter ignorance of this subject. Up to now I’ve merely been a lowly lurker; who decided to make an “appearance”.
    (My 1st post! Hmmn. Crashed + burned.)
    I did go back + try to delete my post. Sorry for burning up your short supply of time. In the interests of saving face, I think I’ll stay a lurker.
    Sorry for making HG feel like she had to make a “public service announcement”.

  35. Angel

    I’d like to be on your blogroll, and I’d also like an Ubernym, but I’m really not good at coming up with Ubernyms. How about “Prisoner of Her Own Mind”…If you can think of something better, feel free to use it.

  36. SJ

    I’m thinking it might be cooler to NOT be on your blogroll. Then I could change my tagline to “Last person in the blogiverse who *isn’t* on Avitable’s blogroll.”

    Nah, Too wordy. Plus, I’d feel left out of the party. So yeah, stick me on there.

    I’d like my Ubernym to be “Masturbates with lava light.”

  37. whall

    Yes please (can’t believe I miss a few posts and during catchup I see this one).

    Only I won’t add to your workload and expect you to come up with my ubernym. See how I help out around here?

    Here’s mine: Certified Astrologer and IT Director

    that’ll do, pig. that’ll do.

  38. whall

    oh, and I hereby trademark the term “grolling”.

    you know how “blog” is kind of short for “weblog” and you just drop the “weh” part?

    “grolling” is short for “blogrolling” which is really short for “weblogrolling”, so it fits.

  39. Avitable

    Janelle, of course I’ll get to you. I respond to every comment.

    M, you think, indeed.

    Trish, wine or “whine”? πŸ˜€

    SpecialK, ok. Hobby?

    CajunVegan, it’s not vee-gun?

    Stephanie, most people are going to regret letting me choose one.

    TrknDude299, no prob – thanks for stopping by. Please feel free to comment anytime.

    Nina, I was going to use your socks as penis cozies!

    Angel, you haven’t posted in a day or two – everything okay?

    SJ, that’s an interesting visual.

    AnnieB, anything for the queen of head.

    DaDuck, that’s good to hear!

    TopnCal, only special people get the juice.

    Peggy, no problem – sorry I hadn’t added you before!

    Vikk, I’m glad that we were able to figure this out.

    Ajooja, okay, I’ll try that. My Google Reader doesn’t think it exists otherwise.

    Metalmom, you’re not afraid of back hair? That’s a relief.

    Robin, as well you should be!

    TMP, πŸ˜€

    Maman, your wish is my suggestion.

    Jasmine, will do. And thanks – why didn’t you post glowing praise in those comments?

    Karl, yes, you do. I think I’m going to see you on Tuesday, too, right?

    Trukindog, capable? I don’t know about that.

    Wayne, grolling is a good term, although it sounds too much like trolling.

  40. hellohahanarf

    just getting around to reading the blogs i missed while in kentucky working the trade show. sorry for the delay!

    when i get my blog up you will be begged (and offered sexual favors) to add me to your blogroll. until then, i got nuttin.

    however, i want an uber thingy, dammit! feel free to chose one of these:

    * red haired irish polish american maiden
    * best boobs i have ever masturbated to
    * my favorite commentor
    * bleeds black and gold – go steelers!
    * sends dumb hats
    * loves naked black & white photos
    * hellohahanraf is from pinky and the brain, bitch
    * [insert witty avitable uberthingy here]



  41. headbang8

    Why I want to be on Avitable’s blogroll:

    I, too, believe tact is for pussies. And I would certainly be the rudest person on earth, were I not a complete pussy, myself.

    I see you are friends with a certain Reichsfuehrer of note. I live in Munich, the cradle of Nazism–his Munich apartment is around the corner from my place, and nowadays is my local police station. I have also had a beer in the restaurant where Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun went for their first date. It’s now a pizza joint, but that’s OK, since they were allies.

    I have linked to you without even being asked, or expecting one in return. Not that that means anything to the tactless.

    We are both proof that fat guys can be sexy. And well hung, for that matter.

    I, too, think my other half is so much better looking than me that he or she is out of my league, and it is only by act of charity that we are together. It’s a wonderful feeling to love and be loved. (There’s that pussy thing coming out again…)

    We agree that “Lord of the Rings” sucks.

    I can point out some of the flaws and spectactular misfires of market research, especially TV ratings.

    I need to tell you that people DO go out and buy beer just because of the comercials. I’ll show you a few. But the ones that make people drink your beer ain’t necessarily pretty.

    Like you, I have a low tolerance for fools, but a high tolerance for foolishness.

    OK? You can make up an ubernym for me, as long as it’s not “Complete Pussy”.

  42. martin

    I sit here in London nervously shuffling my feet. The thought of asking to be on THE blogroll…the cheek of it. I have lurked for ages,now I am out. I will wait with fingers crossed.

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