So it's that time again. Time to update the blogroll.
A few bloggers turned into scandalous cunts and aren't worth my time anymore. A few bloggers just disappeared. And, of course, I've added a ton of new blogs to my feedreader, but that doesn't mean they got added to my blogroll on the site here. And if they're not added to my blogroll here, there's no linkage from me to you.
I'm going to wipe the blogroll slate clean here and rebuild it from scratch. So, if you want on it, leave a comment and let me know. That goes for you lurkers, too. But that's not all!
I'm also going to add Ubernyms (those cute little nicknames that appear when you hover over a name like Britt or Amy) for everyone. If there's something specific that you'd like for your personal Ubernym, now's your chance to let me know in the comments.
Finally, I'd like to thank everyone for their comments yesterday. Clearly, my post was intended as satire and humor, and I'm glad nobody took offense. Well, so far. I haven't been invited to be a keynote speaker at the BlogHer conference yet either.
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Me, me!
Comments by Bethie
Am I even worthy? I just don't know.
Comments by Dave2
I want on it.. and I want an Ubernym. But I want you to pick it.
Comments by Amanda
If you feel I'm link-worthy, go for it. :-)
Comments by Squeaky Wheel
When you hover over your name on my blogroll, it says "Smoookin' Hot!"
I'd prefer that if you would blogroll me, you give me the most fitting nickname of all.
Because you might love me one day.
Comments by Kyra Sutra
I want to hop on that blogroll for sure! You can think of my nickname though because mine would all be egotistical!
Comments by Hilly
Wow and to think I was all excited about the Gravatar working. And now this...oh my...It's just too much for a little old Southern gal to take *giggling*
Comments by turnbaby
Was that last sentence directed at me? Has Britt been telling you things... AGAIN?
Comments by Amy
I would love to be a part of your blogroll!
Comments by Glenda
I'd like to be on your blogroll too. Just so I can brag about it to other bloggers. Status is important to me you know. ;-)
Comments by Jay
I most definitely want to be on your blogroll.
And I want my Ubernym to be "protesting body hair since 1997", please and thank you.
And while we are on the topic of blogrolls, as your blog name starts with an A, you are "done" in my blogroll. Please click the blogroll link (on my blog, duh) to see what I am talking about.
(the naked ass pic did not work, I needed landscape. Sigh)
Comments by bluepaintred
Oh oh oh! Sir, Sir, me Sir! Please sir, me!!
Comments by Freelance Guru
Oooh, pick me, pick me! I'm not a particularly clever person all the time, but basically I'm happy when the link itself says "All About Me - And Then Some" and the ubernym says KirstenL4W. But it's your blog, so if you want the ubernym to say "The Not Particularly Clever KirstenL4W" I'd be cool with that too.
Comments by Kirsten
I'll probably cry if I'm not on the list and I might possibly cause bodily harm to those around me. Then again I might just have another shot and call it a day.
I would love to be Cock Gobbler, unless that one's taken and if so then how about SeaFag?
Comments by Chris
I just went live on my new domain, I really wasn't digging the old wordpress.com one, so I needs some linky love sent my way.
Comments by Mona Mildew
Of course I want to be on your blog roll.....what self-respecting woman wouldn't?
And for my Ubernym, how about "my favorite Hoosier"? I don't know if I'm your favorite person from Indiana or not, but still, it's fun to pretend....
J.
Comments by HoosierGirl
Pick me!
iddly
PS Did you get the pressie I sent?
Comments by iddly
WTH,
I'm up for it?
Kool page.
Comments by trkndude299
I'd love to be on your blogroll!
I've been lurking here and there and commenting a couple times for a while now.
Ubernym? um... "i. will. make. you. hungry." LOL Anyone that chats with me will vouch for the truth of that. :D
Comments by yoshi
I try and comment often, but sometimes your posts just leave me speechless!!! Not sure if I'm link worthy, or ubername worthy for that matter since I doubt you'll ever talk about me... but all in all I'd love to still be part of the gang!
Comments by Tori
"The new blogroll's here! The new blogroll's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now."
That's a rather roundabout way of saying yes please. Sorry for being a Jerk.
Comments by Dan
Oooh, yes please! You've been on mine for a while now.
Comments by MRKisThatKid
OMG, I can't imagine what kind of ubernym I'd get with a blog name like Clusterfook. What the hell? Are you going to call me Fook Face or something?
I've been called a lot worse. How about Bitch on a Stick?
Comments by Lisa
I would like to be on your blogroll. I would like to be known as "Buns of Cinnamon" unless you can think of something more appropriate.
I would also like to nominate cinnamon buns, dunked in batter, for a future Fryday, if they haven't been done already.
I would also like to nominate cinnamon buns for any other awards they qualify for, because, hello, cinnamon buns.
(I shouldn't think of these things before I've had anything to eat.)
Comments by golfwidow
All I have to do is ask and I can be on your blogroll? I don't even have to show you my boobs? You truly are Avitable the Benevolent. Add me! Add me!
My ubernym ... hmmm. I'll leave that up to you, but something like "Hot, single, rich lesbian" would be okay.
Comments by Cap
Dude, didn't you take me to task a few months ago for asking people what they wanted as their ubernym rather than picking it myself?
I would so totally come down there and slap you around, except I am exhausted from all the masturbating I have been doing to yesterday's post.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
I would like to be included because you are just the funnest greatest blogger that ever was on the face of the whole planet and u r great and u r talented and the greatest funnest funniest fun guy that ever funned.
Comments by RW
I totally want a nickname! I was going to pick one but Jess reads you and well...awkward!
Comments by Karen Sugarpants
Lord knows I could use a little whoring out.
Add me, PUH-LEEZE!
Comments by This Mom
And yet you still haven't updated the link to RW's site on your homepage.
Comments by kapgar
Shit, I misread. I thought you already did it. Whoops.
I want on. And you can put "Illiterate Dumbass" as my ubernym.
Comments by kapgar
AMY! NO! It was not!! NO don't you DARE!
Ahem...
Adam, you know how I feel about this.
Comments by Miss Britt
I've been holding my breath waiting to be on your blogroll. I would be forever grateful if I could be added.
You "could" put under my ubernym "flaky bitch", or "Not really absurd" or something like that.
Comments by The Absurdist
Holy crapballs shartman! What would my ubernym be?
Some ideas:
1. A dirty cunt from Cleveland
2. She lets me put my aaahhhh in her weeeeee!
3. "And where did you work while you were going through Medical School? Hooters. No further questions. ——I call it doing the Hibbity Dibbity."
4. She farts, but it smells Oh so lovely.
Need any more ideas? I got tons of 'em.
Comments by ADW
I'm in.
Comments by Paticus
To be on the Avitable blog roll would be... I haven't the words. I would have to drive to your home and bow in the presence of your greatness, brining chocolate-covered burritos and Diet Coke as offerings.
Yes, Coal Miner's Granddaughter would be honored to be a part of your blog roll.
And? My Ubernym? I guess it could be the same as the Ubernym over at Fab's place. Give me some continuity. "Damn, sexy geek." That would do me just fine!
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
Wait!!!!!
Do you mean you're NOT THE KEYNOTE SPEAKER AT BLOGHER???
I want my fuckin' money back now.
I leave the ubernym to your far superior creativity.
Comments by NYCWD
I'm creeping out of the lurker's closet to say that I've had you on my Blog Roll for about a year so umm, yeah, I wouldn't mind being on your's if that's possible. Damn, now I feel all stalkeresque and everything. But now at least with commenting, I get to play with the smilies!
Comments by That Bitchy Chick
Of course I should be on your blogroll, duh. Whatever you want to do for a ubernymn for me I'm happy with.
Comments by Robin
I want an ubernym too Avi!
Comments by AnnieB
Took offense?!
Adam, that post rocked hard. And, AWWWWWWWWWW! ;)
I'm not going to ask to be left in your blogroll but I will cry silent tears if you take me out of it on purpose, you vindictive bastard. ;)
As for übernym, c'est à vous.
Comments by Poppy
Please oh please add me to the blogroll. As for the nickname, I leave that to your superior ability to chose one.
Comments by MsBatman
You're letting people pick their uberdoober?
Really, that's like letting people pick their own nicknames.
Cougar Fists? Sorry, you get to be Pussy Hands.
Comments by Clown
Add me if you deem my rarely updated blog worthy. Also please use my trademarked "セクスをしませんか。" as my Ubernym. I assume your computer can speak Japanese as you probably have cooler stuff than me.
Comments by Grant
Who doesn't want to be on Avitable's blogroll? Only morons wouldn't want to be on Avitable's blogroll.
Although I must admit, it's a little scary as I don't post as often as I should. But since commentluv doesn't work for me, and won't until I move my site... it IS kind of my only source of advertising.
And Ubernym? Can you wait until after we meet at Britt's place on Saturday? I'd like the name to encompass my true personality.
Comments by Allyson
I have to say I'd rather be a "scandalous cunt" than a sociopath. Srsly.
From Allyson: Who doesn't want to be on Avitable's blogroll? Only morons wouldn't want to be on Avitable's blogroll.
Um, honey. I can name off a list of scandalous cunts who do NOT want to be on his blogroll, and trust me they are NOT morons. Diaryland?? Are you fucking kidding me??
Comments by Vikk
Bossy would adore some linky lurve. Talk about Safe Sex!
Comments by BOSSY
Allyson, pay her no mind.
Seriously.
(Ouch. My fingers hurt from typing all those vowels!!)
Comments by Miss Britt
Mik - short arsed Brit or anything you'd like.
Comments by Mik
You better have me on your blogroll!
Comments by themuttprincess
*sigh* You know I hate it when you use the "C" word!
Comments by Britt's mom
Beth, can I just make up any name for you, then?
Dave, I don't know. What's your Avitable Number?
Amanda, okay. I'll think of something.
Squeaky Wheel, this is good - I tend to forget some people who don't comment frequently. Thanks!
Kyra, some day . . .
Hilly, I'll see what I can do.
Turnbaby, oh, you're not a giggler! Nice try.
Amy, nope. I had no idea, although I thought it was a good idea and if she had told me, I might have supported it!
Glenda, do you have a blog? That's one important part.
Jay, I know - you're such a whore.
BPR, I like your blogroll idea! That's going to take you forever!
Freelance Guru, it's a deal.
Kirsten, how about "The Slightly Clever KirstenL4W"?
Chris, "Cock Gobbler" it is.
Mona Mildew, what was your old domain?
HG, you're definitely my favorite Hoosier.
Iddly, I did, and I emailed you. You also need to turn on feeds for your blog - let me know once you've done that.
Trkndude299, do you have a blog?
Yoshi, thanks for delurking - your wish is my command.
Tori, you're in there. I might have to write a post where I talk about everyone all at once.
Dan, that's okay. Jerk.
MRK, nice to meet you. :)
Lisa, hmm - Bitch on a Stick has a nice ring to it.
Golfwidow, I love it!
Cap, well . . . why don't you go ahead and show me your boobs while you're at it?
Fab, yeah, but then I realized it was a good idea to combine that with updating my blogroll. Just wait until I write a post that uses everyone's name so they can see their ubernyms!
RW, you forgot hottest.
Karen, so I can pick a really embarrassing one for you?
This Mom, ok, will do!
Kapgar, your ubernym may be "The Man who Reads Too Little".
Britt, so you're okay with your ubernym?
Absurdist, aren't you really absurd, though?
ADW, I like #2 - that's a good one.
Paticus, like Flint.
CMG, why haven't you done that yet, that's the important question.
NYCWD, I should be, too, huh?
Bitchy Chick, this is why you should comment. All the cool smilies?
Robin, does it have to be about boobs? :)
AnnieB, even though you don't have a blog?
Poppy, okay, I'll be creative and very dirty-minded.
MsBatman, I'm glad you reminded me. I don't think I updated my feedreader with your new site either.
Clown, why does that sound so familiar? It's Always Sunny?
Grant, my Japanese is rusty, but is that "You don't want sex?"
Allyson, this Saturday? You're going to be at Britt's? Nobody tells me anything!
Bossy, the unsafe part is when we meet.
Britt, it's tough to actually spell out words like an adult, isn't it?
Mik, you have a short ass?
TMP, well, yeah. But what do you want me to give you for an ubernym?
Mom, cookie?
Comments by Avitable
nah, it wont. Blogs with headers like yours take less than two minutes to do, and the ones where I have to resize and add a title, they take less than five. I'm already on the H's
Comments by bluepaintred
Yes
Comments by Clown
I'd appreciate a reciprocal link but it's up to you. I'm gonna read your blog either way.
Comments by ajooja
Yes hottest too. I think I should be uber'd as "Usual Sycophant"!
Comments by RW
I damn well better be on the blog roll regardless of me telling you to put me on it.
Comments by Sarcastica
It would be an honor to be added to your blog-roll.
But an honor for whom? ;)
Comments by B.E. Earl
I wouldn't mind being on your blog roll, but I feel kind of guilty because I haven't made my blog roll yet. I am still trying to think of a domain name, since August. haha. You are in my Google share folder though.
For an Ubernym, the first thing that comes to mind is: She only looks sweet and innocent.
Comments by Lynda
Assuming my Japanese is correct, it's a slightly abbreviated but formal way to ask for sex - the closest English equivalent is "Won't you have sex (with me)?" Basically I'm hanging the invitation out for anyone who can read it, like Japanese schoolgirls or hairy Floridians.
Here, gorilla boy. I've got a lovely fried cheeseburger for you. Reach into my pocket and get it.
Comments by Grant
I would like to be added, with the ubernym of your choice...
Comments by Laura
Yes I believe I would like to be included in the party. Thank you for asking. And when describing me, all I have ever asked was for others to say I was great in bed. But, I am no diva, so say what you will.
Comments by Y2K Survivor
Good to see some things never change around here, Adam. You're still "outing" people. First Heather, then Miss Ann, and now me. Too bad you're too fucking late and anyone who matters know who I am and WHY I have the other blog.
Must suck to be a day late to the party all the time huh??
Oh and if you weren't talking about Soda and such, why mention her in your commentat all?? You're fucking pathetic. That whole "tact" thing. You might want to try it sometime, although I guess your readership would go down and we know it's all about the comments and followers with you.
Comments by Vikk
Please!!!! Ubernym: Toy Slinger
You might have to check my blog first, I may not be cool enough....
Comments by Special K
I really just want an avatar...
But I will take a link too...
Just don't put me near that clown...that shit freaks me out!
"Can't sleep the clowns will eat me"
Jam
Comments by Jam
""Turnbaby, oh, you're not a giggler! Nice try.""
I'll have you know I am a world class giggler–if you ever listened to my show you'd know ;-)
Comments by turnbaby
Oh, I noticed a while ago that my link on your blogroll isn't accurate anymore. I've got my own .com instead of using blogger now.
Comments by Sheila
wait, you're going to make me ask like some kind of bitch?! and i want to be "avatar to the world and africa"
Comments by Crys
No, I am more than my boobs you know...
Comments by Robin
Id like to be on your blog roll please.
I would have put you on my but I forgot how to work it so I linked you up instead.
Can my name be Turnip Fucker
Comments by L
Why not fill your blogroll with blogs you actually read?
I mean I could tell you to add mine but you don't read. Even though I am but minutes from you and you could take a fucking interest in what the fuck is happening in my mother fucking life FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!
I'm not bitter.
Comments by Peggy
Adam - As long as it's not something mean.
Comments by Beth
I'm going to start spamming you so I can be one of your top commenters.
Comments by Beth
Spam.
Spamspam.
Comments by Beth
I only want to be on the roll if you want me there. and as far as ubernym,whatever you deem worthy.
Comments by DaDuck
*checking blogroll*
*blank stare*
Weeehhhhhh!!!!
*hurt*
Comments by DutchBitch
You pick it.
I want to know how you REALLY feel about me.
Comments by themuttprincess
LIIIIIINK MEEEEEEEE! DO IT! DO IT NOOOOOOWW!
And you can give me an uberwhatsit. Stop being so lazy.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
How did I know that #2 would work for you. I don't even know why I bothered with the rest. Although I did think of another one: Award Winning Nutsack Shaver and Wang Fondler Extraordinairre.
Just sayin'
Comments by ADW
Just the mere thought of being on your blogroll makes me feel all warm inside.
My ubernym? Nothing I could come up with would even begin to be as funny as whatever you come up with...
Comments by Bec
OK, you can add me, but only if you remove the "Two Girls" smilie. Do you know how many gallons of bleach it took me to burn that video out of my brain?!
Comments by Finn
(Jumping up and down) Please add meeeee!!
I would offer to show my boobs as a bribe, but really, since I started dieting they just aren't worth the effort, sorry!
Hope that doesn't totally rule me out?
Comments by Penelope
Yes, please.
I would also like you to make something up for me, because I have ZERO creativity right now.
I think I was on the blogroll, anyway. The old one. Which only makes me love you more.
Anyway, ubernym me as you see fit. (Should I be scared?!)
Comments by Sybil Law
Yeah, I really do have to stick up for Turnbaby on the giggle issue. She giggles more than anyone I know.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous