Last night, I had the pleasure of meeting Karl from Secondhand Tryptophan and Kevin from Kapgar, along with his lovely wife Katie. We met over at Downtown Disney and headed over to the Raglan Road Irish Pub for a great dinner. Britt was going to join us, but she pulled a groin muscle after her little cheerleading stunt yesterday and needed to plunk her crotch in a bowl of ice. Or maybe her babysitter canceled on her. Either way, it was just the four of us, and we had a great time!
Karl started off the evening by hitting on every waitress (and a few waiters) that walked by. He got 14 different phone numbers! Of course, they all started with “555”. Katie smacked me with a wooden spoon that she carried around in her purse and berated me for scarring her husband for life with my Letter to My Body post. Kevin just curled up at the table and rocked back and forth, saying “No cheeseburger no cheeseburger no cheeseburger”.
The Guinness flowed like sludge and it wasn’t too long before Katie was up on the table, dancing an Irish jig. Kevin joined the little Irish band on stage by playing the jug and singing with an impressive brogue, and Karl convinced one of the waitresses to give him her panties.
I, of course, remained my normal reserved self and quietly ate my steak while everyone else went crazy. By the end of the night, though, we all had new matching tattoos on our butts that spelled out “They’re always after me Lucky Charms” when the four of us stood naked cheek to cheek. We also admired Katie’s huge tattoo of a devil on a motorcycle punching a nun in the face. You never would have guessed – she seemed so sweet!
After a good meal, lots of liquor, great music, and an excellent time, Kevin and Katie went back to their hotel room for a game of naked Monopoly, Karl left with four Asian women who kept running their fingers through his hair and calling him “Karrrrr”, and I picked up a hooker in downtown Orlando that I could smack around for a bit.
All in all, a fun night out. Thanks guys!
The rest of today’s entry is about Sunday’s contest, with the correct answers and the winner chosen. Click to keep reading.
Thanks to everyone who played in this week’s Lazy Sunday contest! Before I get into the winner (and how I chose him or her), here are the answers. Many of you guessed most of them (or Googled or copied from other commenters), but one in particular had all but two of you stumped and one had you fluctuating between options. Here goes:
1. What curse word do you use the most?
I love to call people “beloved cunt”.
As most people guessed, this is from Larry David’s brilliant Curb Your Enthusiasm. When his wife’s aunt died, he put an obituary in the paper that would have said “beloved aunt” if not for an unfortunate typo.
2. Do you own an iPod?
Yup. Her name’s Rosebud.
It’s not Caine or Cain or Cane or Kain. It’s Citizen Kane. And it’s a sled.
3. Who on your MySpace “Top 8” do you talk to the most?
Either Ginger or MaryAnn.
Another easy one. Gilligan’s Island. And for the record, I prefer Ginger’s red hair but Mary Ann’s attitude.
4. What time is your alarm clock set for?
6:00 AM, every single day. And the radio always plays the same damn song, too.
Groundhog Day. I thought this one might be a bit harder than it was.
5. What color is your room?
It’s not Purple Rain. It’s The Color Purple. I almost made my answer “the color purple” but thought that was a bit too easy.
6. Flip flops or sneakers?
I only wear Campari.
Only one of you got this one right on their first try. Campari is from Sex in the City. The episode titled “The Urban Shoe Myth” centers around the black patent mary jane Manolo Blahniks that are called Campari. And no, he didn’t drink Campari Shoes on the Life Aquatic!
7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
I’d rather develop the photos and then get unhealthily obsessed with the people in the photos.
Yes, most of you guessed it. This is One Hour Photo with Robin Williams and that guy from Alias.
8. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.
I shouldn’t have put this as an exact quote, since many of you could have just Googled it. It is indeed from Office Space, said by Ron Livingston’s character in response to a question by the always awesome John C. McGinley.
9. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
I usually drink some drain cleaner, but sometimes I’ll try a mixture of OJ and milk.
Heathers it is! This was an easy one.
10. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
I prefer White Russians.
This one could have been a couple, I guess, although The Big Lebowski is the one that immediately comes to most people’s minds and is, indeed, the right answer. I might have to try trick answers next time.
11. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
My friend Malcolm Crowe is dead.
If you answered this, you used Google. I can’t imagine that anyone would know his name without Google. Own up to it, fuckers. It is from The Sixth Sense.
12. Have you ever given someone a hickey?
Yes. Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate. Mine was one of them.
Another almost direct quote from The Princess Bride.
13. Who was the last person to call you?
This guy who wanted to know if there was a Mr. Freely here. A Mr. I. P. Freely.
I’m sure this could have many references but the only one I meant was The Simpsons, and that’s all that counts.
14. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
I know they do. Usually they say that I am the biggest Mexican they’ve ever seen – big as shit.
While not as good as its predecessor, El Mariachi, Desperado was one of my favorite movies in college. This line was from Steve Buscemi’s character, referring to Antonio Banderas’s unnamed protagonist.
15. Did you watch cartoons as a child?
No. We didn’t have a TV. I grew up as a poor black child.
Another easy one for you guys – The Jerk.
How I chose the winner:
First, I entered everyone’s answers into a spreadsheet, giving 1 point for each correct answer and 0 points for each wrong answer. The total number of points equaled the person’s “raffle tickets” for the drawing.
Then I created a randomized list using Random.org of every “raffle ticket” – basically each person’s name was repeated as many times as they had right answers. This gave me a random list of 321 entries.
Finally, using Random.org again, I asked it to generate a random integer between 1 and 321. It chose #142.
142 is my winner.
Would you like to know who that is?
Congratulations – you win an iPod Shuffle! Email me to confirm your win. The rest of you, thank you for playing, and try again Sunday for a new Lazy Sunday Contest!