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Even I need brain bleach

All I have to share today is one of the more interesting and disturbing things I’ve seen in a while. It’s not totally safe for work but it’s not nearly as bad as some of the videos I’ve posted. It is, however, completely horrifying!

Click the picture, visit the page, read the words, and come back and let me know what you think.

I present . . . Uncle Dirty.


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77 Replies to “Even I need brain bleach”

  1. Sybil Law

    I found it pretty disturbing; especially for the neighbors!
    On one hand – great for the old man taking such care of his body, and being proud of it.
    On the other hand, he likes pasting some really strange pics. A LOT of them! Also, the pics he takes of himself and leaves on the tv for his fricking nephew to see are pretty gross.
    ALL those bending over pics are naaasty.
    HE is naaaasty.

  2. bluepaintred

    I hope that by the time I am his age I have lost my give a damn too! Whats the point to life anyway? Isn’t a large part of it to be happy?

    Dirty is a happy man, he is totally into himself. I love that he has no sense of negative body image.

    But the ass stain needs to go, and he needs to get that dark mark on his lower back checked for melanoma.

  3. Swizzle Stick

    I thought that was the most remarkable story I have read in a long, long time. What a cool, creepy dude. Was it disturbing? Yes, but we know I LOVE disturbing as I am a faithful reader of this blog.

    PS: I was really hoping for a penis shot…

  4. Dee

    Wow. Seriously this is just wow. I am actually not disturbed by it for some reason, although I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to be in his general vicinity at any time in my life. You have an excellent knack for finding the weird :dance:

    The part where he pasted himself into his daughter’s painting made me howl like a banshee. :lmao:

  5. MsFreud

    Honestly, the most disturbing thing about all of it was him wearing the white knee socks with sandals… and the poor old lady with skin cancer, who is obviously very frail and ill, in mind, body and spirit.
    Old people are hokey… eccentric at best. I do wonder what the clerks think of the frail old man buying dick books for his scrap album tho.

    There is some problim with the photoshopping- in one pic he is looking at in a red thong- the “bulge” looks normal sized. Could have done without the SHIT STAIN in his THONG!

  6. Tori

    OK, so I’m the only one that thought (from the waist down) Uncle Dirty’s photo look surprisingly similar to your self portraits? huh… must be because his socks don’t have holes in them… 😛

  7. Avitable

    Amanda, yeah, that’s the one picture that cinched it for me.

    Kyra, is your computer retarded? Here’s the link: http://www.lovebryan.com/features/uncledirty.php

    Jay, you mean you don’t already?

    Amy, you didn’t think the shit-stained thong was disturbing?

    Sybil, that whole old Eskimo ritual of putting old people on ice floes and setting them adrift sounds like a better plan now.

    Usedtobeme, I thought it was interesting and disturbing.

    BPR, it also felt like he’s so involved with taking pictures of himself in a thong that he neglects his retarded wife.

    B.E. Earl, it’s not too many steps from Uncle Farty to Uncle Sharty to Uncle Shitty to Uncle Dirty.

    Katie, just a tad?

    Nobody, his whole life is disturbing.

    Swizzle, creepy is definitely a good word for it. I think he stuffs his thong, which is why there are no penis shots.

    Girl, Dislocated, I wear socks with sandals too.

    Wonderer, I thought the whole situation was just disturbing.

    Peggy, or maybe some “Oops, I crapped my pants.”

    DaDuck, yeah, he’s a little too creepy even for me.

    Dee, yeah, that part with his daughter’s artwork was pretty funny.

    BB, you’re turned on, aren’t you?

    MsFreud, I think his bulge is stuffed, so that would explain why it’s smaller. I don’t think those are photoshopped at all.

    Tori, my balls hang down lower.

    NYCWD, tomorrow. We’re having hotdogs and brown mustard.

  8. Poppy

    I put my hand over the screen so I wouldn’t have to see. I was just checking if Gravatar was working.

    I’m not even looking at this post today. But that doesn’t mean I don’t :heartbeat: you.

  9. golfwidow

    That whimpering sound you’re hearing in the corner is me. It started right around the shitshot and it’s still kind of emanating in tiny “meeps” every few seconds. He makes me want to shove a Tide-to-Go pen up his ass.

  10. Thursday's Child

    It’s really a pretty interesting story. Then again, I’m studying psychology, and reading about obsessive behavior is always interesting to me.

    (Side note: I just saw your “two girls, one cup” smiley. That’s the funniest thing I think I’ve ever seen.)

  11. Scout's Honor

    I guess it speaks to “nothing shocks me like two girls, one cup,” :2girls: but I found this story almost endearing.

    The guy is old and harmless. The padded thong and 20 lbs. weights swinging off the penis speaks to, at his age, no one left to impress and why the fuck would you care what anyone thinks?

    I found the wrinkly butt almost cute in an elephant sort of way. The bend over shot of his ass-stained thong got me going though. Shiver. Bleck. Nasty. The thought of rubbing Iodine all over was pretty nasty. The butt plog on the tv was twisted as was the painting from his daughter. My question was is Alva her Mom??

    Alva, though, really made an impression. The photographs of her are beautiful in an old soul meets still an innocent way.

    Hmmmm…Not revolted. Not disgusted. Am I really on an Avitable post? Oh, yes there’s the spunging off emoticons. :jerkoff2: Yep Avitable.

    This actually made me happy that you can do whatever you want when you are old as dirt. Yep, I find it to be a feel good story. What does that say about me? :heartbeat:

  12. Avitable

    TrishK, I know! Damn Florida.

    Turnbaby, yeah, it really is interesting. Horrifying, but interesting.

    Poppy, it’s not like the other stuff I’ve posted – you’d probably be able to handle it.

    Golfwidow, yeah, that’s how I felt, too.

    Mom, well, since I have a great employee, I can just idly surf the web all day long.

    Wayne, no, you don’t wanna know.

    Thursday’s Child, that’s a great smiley, isn’t it?

    Jenny, well, to be honest, it was kind of bland before he inserted himself into it.

    TMP, it’s all about the shitstain.

    Stephanie, next you’ll be trying to hurt me. I’ll hide.

    Fig, mod podge?

    Robin, do it!

    Kylah, I hope I’m dead by that time.

    Jer, you could just print one out and tape it to your vagina.

    Laura, I concur.

    Metalmom, I think I just retched a bit in my mouth.

    Scout’s Honor, the photos are very impressive. The shitstain is what got me, too.

    Britt, yes. You are. At least I wrote something!

    Liquid, want to change this thong for him?

    Tracy, what are you happy about? My need for brain bleach?

    Hilly, and he spawned – that’s the frightening part.

    Finn, yup.

  13. Fogspinner

    I am shocked. Mostly that I clicked on a link you provided really.

    And then as I’m reading along.. it crosses my mind. What the hell were you searching that you found THAT?

  14. Amy

    Uh, yes, that part was disturbing. I admit that. That and the pictures/video. That was bad too.

    But… not as bad as 2 girls 1 cup which I still haven’t watched. Ditto dolphin or snake porn.

  15. Avitable

    Xbox, have her check it out – maybe it will turn her on enough for the both of you.

    Fig, you’re a scrapbooker, aren’t you?

    Fogspinner, I just read really weird websites.

    Amy, you haven’t watched those others, so you don’t know how bad they were.

    MyWeeWorld, well, that’s what’s important.

    Crys, sure you can!

    Liquid, yes.

    Metalmom, just thinking of him having sex with anything . . . old people creep me out.

    Jules, yeah, that was a bit much.

    Honeybell, especially since he wanted his nephew to see them!

    Penelope, it’s my charisma.

    Hello, can I get an amen?

  16. Summer

    I don’t want to get old! I found his story interesting but rather sad. Why did he marry a mentally handicaped person? How does he keep his thong so white? Except for the back, ugh. What is he stuffing with? Why am I asking you these questions? Poor Alga, he should be getting her to a doctor for her skin cancer. What a life.

  17. LizB

    I couldn’t turn away. It was like driving by a car crash. It was actually very interesting in a freakish way, but yeah, the racing stripe definitely grossed me out. The rest of it was just kinda…sad.

    So what were you browsing for when you found this?

  18. Avitable

    Heather, that might be a good idea. Let’s start a collection to buy him a new thong.

    Fig, phew.

    Tracy, hahahahahahah!

    Trukindog, I wish he had Charmin.

    Glenda, yeah, I know.

    Summer, it’s sad, isn’t it?

    Fabulous, I know! You should at least be fashionable when it comes to your shoes if you’re going to wear a thong.

    LizB, I was looking for naked old men in thongs. Duhhhh.

  19. Tracy

    Wow. Just wow. Uncle Dirty is really, really dirty. It wasn’t just that there were buttplug pictures on the TV…it was finding out that they were UNCLE DIRTY’S buttplugs. Buttplugs, people. God love him for flying his freak flag high.

  20. Avitable

    Tracy, old people buttplugs at that. Probably Matlock brand.

    Sybil, that wasn’t even a Simpsons quote – it’s really what Eskimos did.

    BB, now you’re just trying to hide the fact that you’re actually turned on.

    DB, I’m still recovering myself.

    Cat, I know, right?

    Jake Titus, you’re turned on, aren’t you?

    Special K, let me know how many drinks it actually takes.

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