Even I need brain bleach
All I have to share today is one of the more interesting and disturbing things I've seen in a while. It's not totally safe for work but it's not nearly as bad as some of the videos I've posted. It is, however, completely horrifying!
Click the picture, visit the page, read the words, and come back and let me know what you think.
I present . . . Uncle Dirty.
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
Posted in 
okay, it was definitely tamer than dolphin porn, but I'm still disturbed, especially the one where he's leaning over in the thong, with the stain.
Reply
Why will it not let me seeeee? I have clicked every single part of this old, nasty fucker's body and nothing happens. He hath denied me.
Reply
When I'm 100 I'm gonna wear a thong to the beach too.
Reply
This was not bad at all.
Sometimes the things you find disturbing really makes me worry about you.
Reply
I found it pretty disturbing; especially for the neighbors!
On one hand – great for the old man taking such care of his body, and being proud of it.
On the other hand, he likes pasting some really strange pics. A LOT of them! Also, the pics he takes of himself and leaves on the tv for his fricking nephew to see are pretty gross.
Man.
ALL those bending over pics are naaasty.
HE is naaaasty.
*shudder*
:banghead:
Reply
I didn't think that was bad at all. Rather interesting really.
Reply
I hope that by the time I am his age I have lost my give a damn too! Whats the point to life anyway? Isn't a large part of it to be happy?
Dirty is a happy man, he is totally into himself. I love that he has no sense of negative body image.
But the ass stain needs to go, and he needs to get that dark mark on his lower back checked for melanoma.
Reply
I want to be called Uncle Dirty.
But not yet. My neices and nephews are pretty young right now, and that would just be creepy. I'll stick with Uncle Farty for the time being.
Reply
He's looking pretty good for his age! But that bending over shot, with the stain, is a tad disturbing.
Reply
I don't know why I clicked on a link you posted. That guy is a bit disturbing.
Reply
I thought that was the most remarkable story I have read in a long, long time. What a cool, creepy dude. Was it disturbing? Yes, but we know I LOVE disturbing as I am a faithful reader of this blog.
PS: I was really hoping for a penis shot…
Reply
I really really Really don't like how those sandals look with the rest of his outfit.
Reply
Once again you have rendered me near speechless. Your prowess as a oddity finder is unmatched. I kinda' found the perv more interesting rather than disturbing though.
Reply
He needs a man-pon to catch his ass juice.
:puke:
Reply
wow, he is hmmm interesting. I could have done without the picture of him bending over. I hope I am that alive and kickin' when I am his age!
Reply
Wow. Seriously this is just wow. I am actually not disturbed by it for some reason, although I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be in his general vicinity at any time in my life. You have an excellent knack for finding the weird :dance:
The part where he pasted himself into his daughter's painting made me howl like a banshee. :lmao:
Reply
I want to know which of the cut-and-pasted penises are his. Those images on his t.v. screen are creeeeepy!
Reply
I'd also love to know what he looked like when he was young.
Reply
Honestly, the most disturbing thing about all of it was him wearing the white knee socks with sandals… and the poor old lady with skin cancer, who is obviously very frail and ill, in mind, body and spirit.
Old people are hokey… eccentric at best. I do wonder what the clerks think of the frail old man buying dick books for his scrap album tho.
There is some problim with the photoshopping- in one pic he is looking at in a red thong- the "bulge" looks normal sized. Could have done without the SHIT STAIN in his THONG!
Reply
OK, so I'm the only one that thought (from the waist down) Uncle Dirty's photo look surprisingly similar to your self portraits? huh… must be because his socks don't have holes in them…
Reply
So when are you having Uncle Dirty over for lunch?
Reply
Amanda, yeah, that's the one picture that cinched it for me.
Kyra, is your computer retarded? Here's the link: http://www.lovebryan.com/features/uncledirty.php
Jay, you mean you don't already?
Amy, you didn't think the shit-stained thong was disturbing?
Sybil, that whole old Eskimo ritual of putting old people on ice floes and setting them adrift sounds like a better plan now.
Usedtobeme, I thought it was interesting and disturbing.
BPR, it also felt like he's so involved with taking pictures of himself in a thong that he neglects his retarded wife.
B.E. Earl, it's not too many steps from Uncle Farty to Uncle Sharty to Uncle Shitty to Uncle Dirty.
Katie, just a tad?
Nobody, his whole life is disturbing.
Swizzle, creepy is definitely a good word for it. I think he stuffs his thong, which is why there are no penis shots.
Girl, Dislocated, I wear socks with sandals too.
Wonderer, I thought the whole situation was just disturbing.
Peggy, or maybe some "Oops, I crapped my pants."
DaDuck, yeah, he's a little too creepy even for me.
Dee, yeah, that part with his daughter's artwork was pretty funny.
BB, you're turned on, aren't you?
MsFreud, I think his bulge is stuffed, so that would explain why it's smaller. I don't think those are photoshopped at all.
Tori, my balls hang down lower.
NYCWD, tomorrow. We're having hotdogs and brown mustard.
Reply
Only in Florida…sigh
Reply
After seeing your nutsack this week I have no doubt your balls hang lower.
You know–that was oddly interesting.
Reply
I put my hand over the screen so I wouldn't have to see. I was just checking if Gravatar was working.
I'm not even looking at this post today. But that doesn't mean I don't :heartbeat: you.
Reply
That whimpering sound you're hearing in the corner is me. It started right around the shitshot and it's still kind of emanating in tiny "meeps" every few seconds. He makes me want to shove a Tide-to-Go pen up his ass.
Reply
And yet there I was, reading the whole thing to the very end. Interesting guy…
But my question to you is, how in the hell do you find this stuff?
Reply
All I want to know is – why did he marry Emperor Palpatine?
Oh, I also wanna know… wait, I don't wanna know.
Reply
It's really a pretty interesting story. Then again, I'm studying psychology, and reading about obsessive behavior is always interesting to me.
(Side note: I just saw your "two girls, one cup" smiley. That's the funniest thing I think I've ever seen.)
Reply
I cannot believe he pasted that dumb-ass picture of himself into the painting I made for him.
Asshole.
Reply
I don't see what the problem is….
:cock:
Reply
It's official…i'm definetly on my period.
Instead of throwing up at the shit stain on perv's thong, I was literally sobbing at poor Alga.
Fuckin' hormones.
Reply
I'm going to start on my vagina collages right away! Now where did I put my mod podge?
Reply
I'm afraid to click.
Reply
I think my computer was retarded because this morning it opened up right away…lol. Once in, I got to marvel at the sheer weirdness.
Is this guy who you aspire to be one day?
Reply
HA! When I'm 100, I'm going to the same damn thing, only minus the penis because I don't have one. Or maybe…hell I'll just buy one.
Reply
WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?
Reply
Greased up old man….mmm…..I'd do him.
He just has to take off those sandals….I HATE the sandals!
Reply
I guess it speaks to "nothing shocks me like two girls, one cup," :2girls: but I found this story almost endearing.
The guy is old and harmless. The padded thong and 20 lbs. weights swinging off the penis speaks to, at his age, no one left to impress and why the fuck would you care what anyone thinks?
I found the wrinkly butt almost cute in an elephant sort of way. The bend over shot of his ass-stained thong got me going though. Shiver. Bleck. Nasty. The thought of rubbing Iodine all over was pretty nasty. The butt plog on the tv was twisted as was the painting from his daughter. My question was is Alva her Mom??
Alva, though, really made an impression. The photographs of her are beautiful in an old soul meets still an innocent way.
Hmmmm…Not revolted. Not disgusted. Am I really on an Avitable post? Oh, yes there's the spunging off emoticons. :jerkoff2: Yep Avitable.
This actually made me happy that you can do whatever you want when you are old as dirt. Yep, I find it to be a feel good story. What does that say about me? :heartbeat:
Reply
But I'm a lazy fuck?
Hm. Really.
Reply
Oh, and that disdain wasn't coming from tester.
That would be me.
Reply
enjoyed reading about him.
Reply
Dude. :clap: :thumbsup: :banghead:
Reply
I honestly can't stop staring. It's paralyzed me with fear.
Reply
I… he… wow.
Reply
TrishK, I know! Damn Florida.
Turnbaby, yeah, it really is interesting. Horrifying, but interesting.
Poppy, it's not like the other stuff I've posted – you'd probably be able to handle it.
Golfwidow, yeah, that's how I felt, too.
Mom, well, since I have a great employee, I can just idly surf the web all day long.
Wayne, no, you don't wanna know.
Thursday's Child, that's a great smiley, isn't it?
Jenny, well, to be honest, it was kind of bland before he inserted himself into it.
TMP, it's all about the shitstain.
Stephanie, next you'll be trying to hurt me. I'll hide.
Fig, mod podge?
Robin, do it!
Kylah, I hope I'm dead by that time.
Jer, you could just print one out and tape it to your vagina.
Laura, I concur.
Metalmom, I think I just retched a bit in my mouth.
Scout's Honor, the photos are very impressive. The shitstain is what got me, too.
Britt, yes. You are. At least I wrote something!
Liquid, want to change this thong for him?
Tracy, what are you happy about? My need for brain bleach?
Hilly, and he spawned – that's the frightening part.
Finn, yup.
Reply
Words fail me.
Actually, no they don't, that was fucking disgusting, my wife fancies a quickie, I may now have trouble.
Reply
Mod podge… a thick white gluey substance… all the crafty moms us it when making vagina collages.
Reply
I am shocked. Mostly that I clicked on a link you provided really.
And then as I'm reading along.. it crosses my mind. What the hell were you searching that you found THAT?
Reply
Uh, yes, that part was disturbing. I admit that. That and the pictures/video. That was bad too.
But… not as bad as 2 girls 1 cup which I still haven't watched. Ditto dolphin or snake porn.
Reply
Oh, that was so disturbing! It did, quite frankly, make me feel better about my current life situation though! Thanks for that.
Reply
i got as far as the erections and then i couldn't. I JUST COULDN'T
Reply
i would give him a beautiful bouquet of Bleach Pens. ^____^
Reply
I made YOU retch? *sniff* That's the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a long time! I can die happy now!!! :heartbeat:
Reply
Wow. Interesting over all, but the photo of him bending over showing the stain, ewww.
Reply
I can deal with the shit stain . . . the butt plug pics on the TV however have traumatized me.
Reply
So much that I see here makes me think "Blimey!" and yet I feel a compulsive urge to keep coming back for more. What power you have Adam!!
Reply
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Reply
Xbox, have her check it out – maybe it will turn her on enough for the both of you.
Fig, you're a scrapbooker, aren't you?
Fogspinner, I just read really weird websites.
Amy, you haven't watched those others, so you don't know how bad they were.
MyWeeWorld, well, that's what's important.
Crys, sure you can!
Liquid, yes.
Metalmom, just thinking of him having sex with anything . . . old people creep me out.
Jules, yeah, that was a bit much.
Honeybell, especially since he wanted his nephew to see them!
Penelope, it's my charisma.
Hello, can I get an amen?
Reply
Oh. Wow. That was fascinating. I don't know whether to be proud of him for being who he is, unapologetic and all, or to be scared and hide under my bed.
Maybe I should just send him a thong.
Reply
nah… just a glue sniffer
Reply
My smiley oriented comment was pretty much a tour through my emotions while reading about Uncle Dirty. You bastard.
Reply
No matter what you think of him ya gotta admit the old fuckers got charisma.
Reply
He is definitely interesting – I was more caught up on Alga though, she looked so sad…
Reply
I don't want to get old! I found his story interesting but rather sad. Why did he marry a mentally handicaped person? How does he keep his thong so white? Except for the back, ugh. What is he stuffing with? Why am I asking you these questions? Poor Alga, he should be getting her to a doctor for her skin cancer. What a life.
Reply
What a freak. Socks with sandals? Phht!
Reply
I couldn't turn away. It was like driving by a car crash. It was actually very interesting in a freakish way, but yeah, the racing stripe definitely grossed me out. The rest of it was just kinda…sad.
So what were you browsing for when you found this?
Reply
Heather, that might be a good idea. Let's start a collection to buy him a new thong.
Fig, phew.
Tracy, hahahahahahah!
Trukindog, I wish he had Charmin.
Glenda, yeah, I know.
Summer, it's sad, isn't it?
Fabulous, I know! You should at least be fashionable when it comes to your shoes if you're going to wear a thong.
LizB, I was looking for naked old men in thongs. Duhhhh.
Reply
Wow. Just wow. Uncle Dirty is really, really dirty. It wasn't just that there were buttplug pictures on the TV…it was finding out that they were UNCLE DIRTY'S buttplugs. Buttplugs, people. God love him for flying his freak flag high.
Reply
Old people are no good at everything.
Good Simpson's quote.
I still shudder at those photos!
Reply
ROFL! Just the thought of being turned on by that is making me throw up in my mouth a little.
Reply
Holy Mother of God!
My eyyyyyesss!!!
Get your ass over here and nurse be back to health! Sheesh! :crazywife:
Reply
Oh. My.
Reply
That was disturbing!
Reply
It's gonna take a lot of Gin to purge this from my head :crying:
Reply
Tracy, old people buttplugs at that. Probably Matlock brand.
Sybil, that wasn't even a Simpsons quote – it's really what Eskimos did.
BB, now you're just trying to hide the fact that you're actually turned on.
DB, I'm still recovering myself.
Cat, I know, right?
Jake Titus, you're turned on, aren't you?
Special K, let me know how many drinks it actually takes.
Reply
ROFL!!!
Reply