All I have to share today is one of the more interesting and disturbing things I've seen in a while. It's not totally safe for work but it's not nearly as bad as some of the videos I've posted. It is, however, completely horrifying!
Click the picture, visit the page, read the words, and come back and let me know what you think.
I present . . . Uncle Dirty.
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okay, it was definitely tamer than dolphin porn, but I'm still disturbed, especially the one where he's leaning over in the thong, with the stain.
Comments by Amanda
Why will it not let me seeeee? I have clicked every single part of this old, nasty fucker's body and nothing happens. He hath denied me.
Comments by Kyra Sutra
When I'm 100 I'm gonna wear a thong to the beach too.
Comments by Jay
This was not bad at all.
Sometimes the things you find disturbing really makes me worry about you.
Comments by Amy
I found it pretty disturbing; especially for the neighbors!
On one hand - great for the old man taking such care of his body, and being proud of it.
On the other hand, he likes pasting some really strange pics. A LOT of them! Also, the pics he takes of himself and leaves on the tv for his fricking nephew to see are pretty gross.
Man.
ALL those bending over pics are naaasty.
HE is naaaasty.
*shudder*
Comments by Sybil Law
I didn't think that was bad at all. Rather interesting really.
Comments by usedtobeme
I hope that by the time I am his age I have lost my give a damn too! Whats the point to life anyway? Isn't a large part of it to be happy?
Dirty is a happy man, he is totally into himself. I love that he has no sense of negative body image.
But the ass stain needs to go, and he needs to get that dark mark on his lower back checked for melanoma.
Comments by bluepaintred
I want to be called Uncle Dirty.
But not yet. My neices and nephews are pretty young right now, and that would just be creepy. I'll stick with Uncle Farty for the time being.
Comments by B.E. Earl
He's looking pretty good for his age! But that bending over shot, with the stain, is a tad disturbing.
Comments by Katie
I don't know why I clicked on a link you posted. That guy is a bit disturbing.
Comments by Nobody™
I thought that was the most remarkable story I have read in a long, long time. What a cool, creepy dude. Was it disturbing? Yes, but we know I LOVE disturbing as I am a faithful reader of this blog.
PS: I was really hoping for a penis shot...
Comments by Swizzle Stick
I really really Really don't like how those sandals look with the rest of his outfit.
Comments by Girl, Dislocated
Once again you have rendered me near speechless. Your prowess as a oddity finder is unmatched. I kinda' found the perv more interesting rather than disturbing though.
Comments by Wonderer
He needs a man-pon to catch his ass juice.
Comments by Peggy
wow, he is hmmm interesting. I could have done without the picture of him bending over. I hope I am that alive and kickin' when I am his age!
Comments by DaDuck
Wow. Seriously this is just wow. I am actually not disturbed by it for some reason, although I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be in his general vicinity at any time in my life. You have an excellent knack for finding the weird
The part where he pasted himself into his daughter's painting made me howl like a banshee.
Comments by Dee
I want to know which of the cut-and-pasted penises are his. Those images on his t.v. screen are creeeeepy!
Comments by BlondeBlogger
I'd also love to know what he looked like when he was young.
Comments by BlondeBlogger
Honestly, the most disturbing thing about all of it was him wearing the white knee socks with sandals... and the poor old lady with skin cancer, who is obviously very frail and ill, in mind, body and spirit.
Old people are hokey... eccentric at best. I do wonder what the clerks think of the frail old man buying dick books for his scrap album tho.
There is some problim with the photoshopping- in one pic he is looking at in a red thong- the "bulge" looks normal sized. Could have done without the SHIT STAIN in his THONG!
Comments by MsFreud
OK, so I'm the only one that thought (from the waist down) Uncle Dirty's photo look surprisingly similar to your self portraits? huh... must be because his socks don't have holes in them...
Comments by Tori
So when are you having Uncle Dirty over for lunch?
Comments by NYCWD
Amanda, yeah, that's the one picture that cinched it for me.
Kyra, is your computer retarded? Here's the link: http://www.lovebryan.com/features/uncledirty.php
Jay, you mean you don't already?
Amy, you didn't think the shit-stained thong was disturbing?
Sybil, that whole old Eskimo ritual of putting old people on ice floes and setting them adrift sounds like a better plan now.
Usedtobeme, I thought it was interesting and disturbing.
BPR, it also felt like he's so involved with taking pictures of himself in a thong that he neglects his retarded wife.
B.E. Earl, it's not too many steps from Uncle Farty to Uncle Sharty to Uncle Shitty to Uncle Dirty.
Katie, just a tad?
Nobody, his whole life is disturbing.
Swizzle, creepy is definitely a good word for it. I think he stuffs his thong, which is why there are no penis shots.
Girl, Dislocated, I wear socks with sandals too.
Wonderer, I thought the whole situation was just disturbing.
Peggy, or maybe some "Oops, I crapped my pants."
DaDuck, yeah, he's a little too creepy even for me.
Dee, yeah, that part with his daughter's artwork was pretty funny.
BB, you're turned on, aren't you?
MsFreud, I think his bulge is stuffed, so that would explain why it's smaller. I don't think those are photoshopped at all.
Tori, my balls hang down lower.
NYCWD, tomorrow. We're having hotdogs and brown mustard.
Comments by Avitable
Only in Florida...sigh
Comments by trishk
After seeing your nutsack this week I have no doubt your balls hang lower.
You know–that was oddly interesting.
Comments by turnbaby
I put my hand over the screen so I wouldn't have to see. I was just checking if Gravatar was working.
I'm not even looking at this post today. But that doesn't mean I don't
you.
Comments by Poppy
That whimpering sound you're hearing in the corner is me. It started right around the shitshot and it's still kind of emanating in tiny "meeps" every few seconds. He makes me want to shove a Tide-to-Go pen up his ass.
Comments by golfwidow
And yet there I was, reading the whole thing to the very end. Interesting guy...
But my question to you is, how in the hell do you find this stuff?
Comments by Britt's mom
All I want to know is - why did he marry Emperor Palpatine?
Oh, I also wanna know... wait, I don't wanna know.
Comments by whall
It's really a pretty interesting story. Then again, I'm studying psychology, and reading about obsessive behavior is always interesting to me.
(Side note: I just saw your "two girls, one cup" smiley. That's the funniest thing I think I've ever seen.)
Comments by Thursday's Child
I cannot believe he pasted that dumb-ass picture of himself into the painting I made for him.
Asshole.
Comments by Jenny, Bloggess
I don't see what the problem is....
Comments by themuttprincess
It's official...i'm definetly on my period.
Instead of throwing up at the shit stain on perv's thong, I was literally sobbing at poor Alga.
Fuckin' hormones.
Comments by Stephanie
I'm going to start on my vagina collages right away! Now where did I put my mod podge?
Comments by Fig
I'm afraid to click.
Comments by Robin
I think my computer was retarded because this morning it opened up right away...lol. Once in, I got to marvel at the sheer weirdness.
Is this guy who you aspire to be one day?
Comments by Kyra Sutra
HA! When I'm 100, I'm going to the same damn thing, only minus the penis because I don't have one. Or maybe...hell I'll just buy one.
Comments by Jer
WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?
Comments by Laura
Greased up old man....mmm.....I'd do him.
He just has to take off those sandals....I HATE the sandals!
Comments by metalmom
I guess it speaks to "nothing shocks me like two girls, one cup,"
but I found this story almost endearing.
The guy is old and harmless. The padded thong and 20 lbs. weights swinging off the penis speaks to, at his age, no one left to impress and why the fuck would you care what anyone thinks?
I found the wrinkly butt almost cute in an elephant sort of way. The bend over shot of his ass-stained thong got me going though. Shiver. Bleck. Nasty. The thought of rubbing Iodine all over was pretty nasty. The butt plog on the tv was twisted as was the painting from his daughter. My question was is Alva her Mom??
Alva, though, really made an impression. The photographs of her are beautiful in an old soul meets still an innocent way.
Hmmmm...Not revolted. Not disgusted. Am I really on an Avitable post? Oh, yes there's the spunging off emoticons.
Yep Avitable.
This actually made me happy that you can do whatever you want when you are old as dirt. Yep, I find it to be a feel good story. What does that say about me?
Comments by Scout's Honor
But I'm a lazy fuck?
Hm. Really.
Comments by Tester
Oh, and that disdain wasn't coming from tester.
That would be me.
Comments by Miss Britt
enjoyed reading about him.
Comments by liquid
Dude.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
I honestly can't stop staring. It's paralyzed me with fear.
Comments by Hilly
I... he... wow.
Comments by Finn
TrishK, I know! Damn Florida.
Turnbaby, yeah, it really is interesting. Horrifying, but interesting.
Poppy, it's not like the other stuff I've posted - you'd probably be able to handle it.
Golfwidow, yeah, that's how I felt, too.
Mom, well, since I have a great employee, I can just idly surf the web all day long.
Wayne, no, you don't wanna know.
Thursday's Child, that's a great smiley, isn't it?
Jenny, well, to be honest, it was kind of bland before he inserted himself into it.
TMP, it's all about the shitstain.
Stephanie, next you'll be trying to hurt me. I'll hide.
Fig, mod podge?
Robin, do it!
Kylah, I hope I'm dead by that time.
Jer, you could just print one out and tape it to your vagina.
Laura, I concur.
Metalmom, I think I just retched a bit in my mouth.
Scout's Honor, the photos are very impressive. The shitstain is what got me, too.
Britt, yes. You are. At least I wrote something!
Liquid, want to change this thong for him?
Tracy, what are you happy about? My need for brain bleach?
Hilly, and he spawned - that's the frightening part.
Finn, yup.
Comments by Avitable
Words fail me.
Actually, no they don't, that was fucking disgusting, my wife fancies a quickie, I may now have trouble.
Comments by Xbox4NappyRash
Mod podge... a thick white gluey substance... all the crafty moms us it when making vagina collages.
Comments by Fig
I am shocked. Mostly that I clicked on a link you provided really.
And then as I'm reading along.. it crosses my mind. What the hell were you searching that you found THAT?
Comments by Fogspinner
Uh, yes, that part was disturbing. I admit that. That and the pictures/video. That was bad too.
But... not as bad as 2 girls 1 cup which I still haven't watched. Ditto dolphin or snake porn.
Comments by Amy
Oh, that was so disturbing! It did, quite frankly, make me feel better about my current life situation though! Thanks for that.
Comments by MyWeeWorld
i got as far as the erections and then i couldn't. I JUST COULDN'T
Comments by Crys
i would give him a beautiful bouquet of Bleach Pens. ^____^
Comments by liquid
I made YOU retch? *sniff* That's the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a long time! I can die happy now!!!
Comments by metalmom
Wow. Interesting over all, but the photo of him bending over showing the stain, ewww.
Comments by Jules
I can deal with the shit stain . . . the butt plug pics on the TV however have traumatized me.
Comments by Honeybell
So much that I see here makes me think "Blimey!" and yet I feel a compulsive urge to keep coming back for more. What power you have Adam!!
Comments by Penelope
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Comments by hellohahanarf
Xbox, have her check it out - maybe it will turn her on enough for the both of you.
Fig, you're a scrapbooker, aren't you?
Fogspinner, I just read really weird websites.
Amy, you haven't watched those others, so you don't know how bad they were.
MyWeeWorld, well, that's what's important.
Crys, sure you can!
Liquid, yes.
Metalmom, just thinking of him having sex with anything . . . old people creep me out.
Jules, yeah, that was a bit much.
Honeybell, especially since he wanted his nephew to see them!
Penelope, it's my charisma.
Hello, can I get an amen?
Comments by Avitable
Oh. Wow. That was fascinating. I don't know whether to be proud of him for being who he is, unapologetic and all, or to be scared and hide under my bed.
Maybe I should just send him a thong.
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
nah... just a glue sniffer
Comments by Fig
My smiley oriented comment was pretty much a tour through my emotions while reading about Uncle Dirty. You bastard.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
No matter what you think of him ya gotta admit the old fuckers got charisma.
Comments by Trukindog
He is definitely interesting - I was more caught up on Alga though, she looked so sad...
Comments by Glenda
I don't want to get old! I found his story interesting but rather sad. Why did he marry a mentally handicaped person? How does he keep his thong so white? Except for the back, ugh. What is he stuffing with? Why am I asking you these questions? Poor Alga, he should be getting her to a doctor for her skin cancer. What a life.
Comments by Summer
What a freak. Socks with sandals? Phht!
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
I couldn't turn away. It was like driving by a car crash. It was actually very interesting in a freakish way, but yeah, the racing stripe definitely grossed me out. The rest of it was just kinda...sad.
So what were you browsing for when you found this?
Comments by LizB
Heather, that might be a good idea. Let's start a collection to buy him a new thong.
Fig, phew.
Tracy, hahahahahahah!
Trukindog, I wish he had Charmin.
Glenda, yeah, I know.
Summer, it's sad, isn't it?
Fabulous, I know! You should at least be fashionable when it comes to your shoes if you're going to wear a thong.
LizB, I was looking for naked old men in thongs. Duhhhh.
Comments by Avitable
Wow. Just wow. Uncle Dirty is really, really dirty. It wasn't just that there were buttplug pictures on the TV...it was finding out that they were UNCLE DIRTY'S buttplugs. Buttplugs, people. God love him for flying his freak flag high.
Comments by Tracy
Old people are no good at everything.
Good Simpson's quote.
I still shudder at those photos!
Comments by Sybil Law
ROFL! Just the thought of being turned on by that is making me throw up in my mouth a little.
Comments by BlondeBlogger
Holy Mother of God!
My eyyyyyesss!!!
Get your ass over here and nurse be back to health! Sheesh!
Comments by DutchBitch
Oh. My.
Comments by cat
That was disturbing!
Comments by Jake Titus
It's gonna take a lot of Gin to purge this from my head
Comments by Special K
Tracy, old people buttplugs at that. Probably Matlock brand.
Sybil, that wasn't even a Simpsons quote - it's really what Eskimos did.
BB, now you're just trying to hide the fact that you're actually turned on.
DB, I'm still recovering myself.
Cat, I know, right?
Jake Titus, you're turned on, aren't you?
Special K, let me know how many drinks it actually takes.
Comments by Avitable
ROFL!!!
Comments by BlondeBlogger